Sunday, November 4, 2012

Barack Obama's School Records Released

Middle Finger News Service

A disgruntled Obama for America Campaign insider today released, in part, Barack Obama's sealed school records to us after months of intense pressure from Republican critics.
According to records from the kindergarten he attended in Indonesia, Barry Soetoro (the name he was using at the time) was a reasonably good student and was popular with his classmates. Little Barry was also well liked by his teacher.

Barry Soetoro (in circle) and his classmates
There are usually no grades given for kindergarten work, but the teachers do leave comments for the parents. Among the comments on Barry's kindergarten report card were:
"Barry works and plays well with others as long as they do things his way"
"Barry does an excellent job redistributing the crayons among all classmates evenly."
"He is highly religious and prays five times a day"
"Has a masterful understanding of the pronoun 'I'  
"Barry is forceful and assertive, and even told the the head master "you know you didn't build this school."
"Barry is ambitious, and plans to run for school president next year."
"He is very energetic, loves to chase balls"    
"He is very fond of dogs"
The only negative comment noted was:
"Barry tends to lean toward exaggeration"  
Unfortunately, President Obama is still withholding his Occidental College records and transcripts, his Columbia University records and transcripts, his Columbia Thesis paper, and his Harvard University records and transcripts, for reasons of National Security.

Of course, the most important report card for the President is public record, the one for his performance during his past four years in office, and those results just aren't very encouraging. President Obama has received failing grades in the Economy, on Foreign Affairs, in Job Creation and in Leadership Skills.

However, there was some good news for the President. He scored highly in Campaign Fundraising, Golfing and in Wealth Redistribution.