Friday, May 16, 2014

White House: Hashtag Diplomic Could Have Shortened WW2

(MFNS) Washington D.C. – In recent weeks, the 'hashtag' has become the most potent and powerful weapon of the most powerful country in the world when it comes to confronting evil and injustice in the modern world.

White House Spokesman Jay Carney, when asked about the administration's use of 'Hastag Diplomacy', commented in todays presidential press briefing that it was a shame the Roosevelt administration didn’t have the benefit of hashtags in the early days of World War II so they could have tweeted some strongly worded messages that could have brought the war to a quicker, more peaceful end.

Carney went on to talk about the awesome power of the hashtag and how it could have devastated Hitler:
“If they had been able to send out tweets like #StopHitler, #DontMakeUsComeOverThere, or #HitlerHasALittleDick, there is no way he wouldn't have crumbled under that pressure! How can you even respond to something like that? I think he would have backed down and would have been content being an asshole to just the Germans.”
“We want to send a strong message to all despots, dictators and warlords around the world. We have a never ending supply of hashtags and we’re not afraid to use them. If you receive one from us, consider yourself warned. And if you don’t get the message…we’ll send out another one!”
In light of the statement from the White House, several terrorist organizations have announced by phone they were disconnecting their internet services or, at the very least, closing out their Twitter accounts so they could deny ever receiving the hashtag threats from the US.

Middle Finger News Service 


  1. Knock it off already! Who knew how easy it could have been...

  2. Obama would have kicked that Hitler Ass alright.