Saturday, July 26, 2014

Did Sex-Crazed Geckos Take Over Russian Satellite Mission

There is a lizard sex satellite floating in space
and Russia is no longer in control
At this very moment, a Russian satellite full of geckos -- (possibly) having sex -- is floating around in space -- and mission control has lost the ability to control it.
The Foton-M4 research satellite launched on July 19 with five geckos on board. The plan: To observe their mating activities in the zero-gravity conditions of Earth orbit. Several other earthly creatures, including plants and insects, were also placed on board for experiments.
But shortly after the satellite made its first few orbits, it stopped responding to commands from mission control. The equipment on board, however, is still sending scientific data back to earth, a spokesman for Russia's Institute of Biomedical Problems said.
"The biological experiments started as soon as the satellite was launched," Institute press secretary Oleg Voloshin told RIA Novosti on Thursday. "The scientific equipment used for the experiments operates properly. We receive the telemetry data from the spacecraft and analyze it. … The current tasks have so far been fulfilled."
Teams of experts are working to reestablish a connection to the satellite, according to the company that built Foton-M.
"Specialists of the main mission control group are currently working to establish sustainable contact with the satellite and implement the planned program for the flight," the Progress company said on its Web site, according to Interfax.
In the meantime, those lizards are being left more or less alone, to do as nature intended for the rest of the 60 days mission.
NOTE: Russians scientist believe the sex experiment is successful, as a stream of cigarette smoke has been observed trailing the satellite through orbit. 


  1. Good News: The cameras are working, so the lizard porn has been safely downlinked.
    Bad News: The cameras will continue to work as the poor critters suffocate and get freeze-dried, so the video is now lizard SNUFF porn, which violates international law.
    Good News: Russia hasn't been challenged on killing Ukrainians and Indonesians so far, so Interpol is probably gonna let the oversexed lizard mummies get swept under the rug - figuratively.

  2. Could give "lounge lizard" a whole new meaning!