Showing posts with label CNNLOL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CNNLOL. Show all posts

Monday, August 14, 2023

CNN Moves to Solidify Their Basement Ratings

CNN Goes All Girl Primetime. 
"By expanding the range and depth of our programming lineup across multiple dayparts, we are strengthening our reporting excellence throughout the schedule, elevating our ability to tell great stories across platforms, and doubling down on CNN’s position as the most trusted name in news.” 
 Now that's funny right there! 🀣 🀣 🀣

Sunday, March 5, 2023

CNN Announces 2023 Prom Queen / King Nominations

MFNS - After a three year long hiatus because of covid, CNN has decided to bring back their yearly Corporate Prom, Talent Show and Primal Scream Competition for it's employees. The event is intended to be a bit of sunshine in a sea of bad ratings for beleaguered network personalities doing heated battle rating races with local cable access gardening shows and reruns of 50 year old Perry Mason episodes.

Former CNN anchor and recovering makeup addict, Brook Baldwin, a five time Prom Queen (2011-16) revealed in her recent book "WTF Am I Working Here for?? - Memories of My Days at CNN", that the CNN Prom Queen Reign was an opportunity to show all the other ambitious CNN employees just who "The Bitch Who Shall Not Be Fucked With" is for the following year. But she also said the crown sometime results in bad feelings, sharp words and hair pulling screaming matches in the women restroom.

CNN has opened up the voting for the Prom Queen, and since they've lost 75% of their audience, they invite the general public who still watch CNN to help choose. So here's your opportunity to do your civic duty and help crown the newest Queen of CNN from this bevy of talented beauties.

Leave your choices in the comments and we'll make sure your vote get counted. No mail in ballots will be counted. Otherwise we use democrat election rules. You are allowed to vote numerous times, but within a reasonable number.

It's like...like.....it's history or something. Here are your CNN 2023 Prom Queen Nominees:


Editrix Update: It was just announced by the CNN 'Department of Diversity & Inclusion' that in the spirit of fairness, Prom King nominations would the limited to CNN's 2 Black male employees only.

This break in tradition caused Don Lemon (Prom Queen 2017-18) nomination to be moved from the 'Queen' to 'King' Category to create competition, which caused Victor Blackwell to accuse CNN of racism. 

Your MOF Prom King Nominees:



Thursday, August 4, 2022

A Desperate CNN President Pleads for GOP Lawmakers to Please Come Back πŸ™„


According to a post at the Free Beacon, CNN President Chris Licht went to Capital Hill last week and quietly met behind closed doors with high members of the GOP in a carefully arranged meeting to avoid alerting the reptiles reporters who slither the halls of the Capitol, and to accommodate Republican lawmakers who preferred not to be seen hobnobbing with media pond scum. Licht's message: We’re sorry. Please, come back.

Licht and his boss, Warner Brothers Discovery chief David Zaslav met briefly with Mitch McConnell and Kevin McCarthy. Licht's schtick was the network would give Republican lawmakers ample airtime and honest dialogue, saying they are committed to reshaping the image of CNN no matter the ratings. The charm offensive underscores Licht's effort to reverse the course set by his predecessor pushed out of CNN in February, who had transformed CNN into ground zero for the strident nasty resistance to DJT and Republicans more broadly, adopting nakedly partisan stances that would once have seemed out of line strange in a newsroom.

Licht's pitch was a tough sell given the putrid hostility CNN anchors have expressed toward Republicans and their voters. And after sticking a proverbial middle finger in anyone's face who didn’t subscribe to left-wing groupthink, gaining the trust of conservative viewers will be no easy task.

Except for the mercy killing of CNN's embarrassing failure of their digital media project, CNN+,  Licht has made few personnel changes, and CNN employs a type of host who may be resentful and try and stonewall any improving relationship between CNN and the Right. It’s going to be hard to convince Republicans that CNN has moved to the middle when you promote sleazy characters like Don Lemon, Brianna "Twinkies" Keilar, and Jim Acosta.

Even if CNN pulls off a turn to the middle, it’s likely that most former viewers won’t return to the channel to find out if the newly reported reputation is accurate.  When you lie about everything, viewers won’t believe what you say about your own network either.

Thursday, April 7, 2022

Tater Gets Carpet Bombed

Boss Rips 'Cancer' Brian Stelter

 H/T DMFer WDS for the Link!


~ Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS for the Community Linkage! ~

Saturday, February 5, 2022

Just a Shameless Punchline at This Point.


With Jeff Zucker gone, the crew that CNN used to attack “misinformation” and worked to silence rival outlets is suddenly vulnerable.  Zucker, Brian Stelter, Oliver Darcy, and others took “cancel culture,” once the preserve of left-wing universities, and “normalized” it for political and pecuniary gain.  Stelter, who turned the name 'Reliable Sources' into a cruel irony, worked with reporter Darcy and others to do the dirty work and actively sought to censor and smear other news outlets and content creators, cloaking its efforts in the noble garb of supposed fights against “disinformation.”

The Karma Bus is fueling up.
  
More on the Subject Here & Here

~ Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS & Gator Doug@Daily Gator for the Linkage! ~

Thursday, January 6, 2022

Glenn Greenwald Torches Oliver Darcy's Nads, Sends Him Back Home to Tater. 🀣🀣🀣

WE ARE CNNLOL

Like Christmas morning, Ollie & Tater jumped from bed to join in the media event they, like others, had long waited for.  January 6th.  CNN's Chief media hall monitors, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum both had prepared well for their day of monitoring a real news channel's coverage and both had plenty to say.  But as Oliver Darcy took to the tweeter, he probably wasn't expecting a real journalist and rational thinker Glen Greenwald to be listening....

Enter Glen Greenwald with a lit flamethrower.......
Poor Ollie tried really hard to fire back … but it was pretty sad.
Greenwald sets Ollie's nads on fire, pats him on the butt and sends him running home to Tater.....
It’s embarrassingly sad how much time a supposed news outlet spends covering what the other more popular, successful news outlet is covering. It certainly comes across as sour grapes and desperation.
BOOM! 

Monday, October 18, 2021

Once You've Burned the NYT, Burning CNN on its Own Air is Priceless.

Bari Weiss tells Tater Stelter how 'the world has gone mad,
then lists CNN as part of the cause. πŸ€£


😎 P’wned On His Own Show! πŸ˜Ž

Tuesday, April 13, 2021

No Time for Fact-Checking?? Russian Foreign Ministry Lady Kicks CNN Square in the Nads.


A Russian Foreign Ministry Lady has delivered a sharp kick to the groin of CNN after the alleged news network used a misleading month old video to illustrate an article about Russia’s purported war preparations.

In a message to the network, worthy of a most excellent Snark Mistress, she wrote:
"Dear CNN TV channel and its staff. We realize that you have no time for fact-checking, since you’re so immersed in ideological struggle for the triumph of liberalism,  but to present Ukrainian tanks at a Ukrainian train station, with Ukrainian train carriages in the background, as Russia’s preparations for war is a bit too much."
But she wasn't through with them. Seems she's fully aware of the network's reporters propensity for vodka shots and Hot Russian babes:
"Perhaps CNN correspondents in Moscow should devote more time to their professional duties rather than focus on participating in public night life in Russia."
Pretty ironic for a boastful network that claims the media's personal eagle eyed fact checkin' watch dawg hall monitor, the bulbous headed weenie Tater Stelter.

[Sputnik News]
[CNNLOL]
~ Thank You MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage! ~