Showing posts with label The Continuing Adventures of Joe Biden. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Continuing Adventures of Joe Biden. Show all posts

Thursday, March 7, 2024

Your Official SOTU Drinking Game Card for Tonight's Presidential Manure Spread

Yes patriots, it's that time again. The stage is set for the nation's roundly disapproved of and incompetent leader to address congress and the nation in the unnecessary made-for-TV annual manure spread known to us all as the State Of The Union message. 

And as we have come to expect from *46, one can again look forward to more lying than a teenage boy with his pants around his ankles trying to explain to a Deputy why the Sheriff's daughter is in the back seat of his car naked from the waist up.

And like most of *46's speeches, I would expect an Adderall fueled mind-numbing exercise in babbling, self-praise and lofty unworkable leftist ideals, and a economic picture embellished with a rosy glow of unreal accomplishments.  

But I doubt the speech will be as entertained as in past years. With the luster and entertainment value of the event having fallen off without the distraction from the droning speech of watching Nan Pelosi fidget around in the Speaker's chair, going from grinning like a mental patient for no apparent reason, to getting that pained look on her face like she's passing a kidney stone and wishing she could get up and have a double shot of gin and a Marlboro.

But we will still have that famous camera shot to look forward to of of the entire house chamber as the network media political analysts speak of the historic setting while Joe, grinning like a baby loading his diaper, scans the room for an ice cream machine and any prepubescent girls in attendance.  

But fear not. SOTU Bullshit Bingo enthusiast are sure to be pleased by this Official STATE OF THE UNION DRINKING GAME CARD (a retread from 2022 but still relevant) compliments of our good friend  Curmudgeon @PoliticalClownP.

Tuesday, November 14, 2023

Mexican Cartels Issue a Letter of Gratitude to Their "Man of the Year."

(MFNS)- Guano Mexico- The hostile Northern Mexican Cartels called a temporary truce long enough to issued a joint communique to the White House stating their undying gratitude for what they called "Outstanding Work on Behalf of the Cartels Man of the Year" for 2023.
  
Cartel Man of the Year - El Presidente' Joe Biden

In the communique they praised Biden for "reversing previous leader's hindering border protections" and "spoon feeding his useful idiots in the media the cover story that the border was closed, to which they dutiful repeated to their audience of gringo retards, helping give free reign to violate the sovereign border mostly unimpeded and away from most prying eyes of the press. Well played Mr. Biden."

They went on to confirm that with Biden's help more than 9 million illegals' cross the border mostly unopposed and into the open arms of the border patrol after being extorted for millions by the cartels to be led across safely. They also praised "El Presidente' for the opportunity to "export central America's undesirables across the border to relive the jail overcrowding and to help America with it's lack of diversity"

Praise was showered for the "opportunity for lucrative human trafficking of women and unaccompanied children for the benefit of the perverted liberal elites and the criminal underground forced sex work." 

The cartels were especially in praise of El Presidente' Biden and his pups in the media for the ability to quash any suggestion of responsibility on Biden's part for the growing number of deaths on the streets of America from the large quantities of drugs they were able to import during undetected night crossing in the last three years. The fentanyl alone worth millions, was enough to kill every American while border patrol was feeding and babysitting border jumpers. 

With the massive amounts of money Biden has given the Cartels opportunity to make from extortion of illegals and the importation of drugs and child sex slaves, the heavily armed cartels thanked Biden for control of most of northern Mexico and large sections of border.

The communiquĆ© ended with anticipations of continuing non-aggression and good wishes and hopes for even further cooperation in the future. 

~ Thank You Larwyn's Linx@ Doug Ross Journal for the Linkage! ~

Tuesday, October 31, 2023

New Snapshots From The Biden White House Album

A DMF Exclusive. 


Photos Credits:
United States Secret Service Surveillance & 
Unofficial White House Photographer.





Tuesday, August 8, 2023

Bidenomics Update: Courtney's Open Tabs Flush

Courtney Is Judging You Now. 

Biden's handlers have moved aggressively to not just claim ownership of the economy, but to broadcast how good the news around it is. But most people are too broke to hear. 

* Americans are pulling money out of their 401(k) plans at an alarming rate: The number of people who made a hardship withdrawal during the second quarter increased by of 36% from the second quarter of 2022. 

* The price of food is soaring: Despite inflation cooling, the price of your taco fixings will continue to rise.

* Credit card balances above $1 trillion for first time: Americans increasingly turned to their credit cards to make ends meet.

* Joe's favored EV scam goes belly up: Biden's frequently praised electric vehicle company that his energy secretary made a killing in profit from sale of investments just declared bankruptcy.

* US housing affordability at an all-time low: Buying a house in the U.S. has become a luxury fewer and fewer people can afford.

In other news, Joe Biden visited the Grand Canyon Tuesday, declaring no one has a bigger G*d Damn hole in the ground in the entire world than we do! 

 

Monday, July 31, 2023

Sunday, July 30, 2023

That Time We Hired Joe Biden to Work For Us

 From the Dank Archives of Middle Finger News Service. - February 1, 2015

Bulletin: 
For Immediate Release

MFNS WORLD HQS.

"Middle Finger News Service, LLC (MFNS) one of the world’s largest and most admired media conglomerates announced today the addition of a new science reality show to their spring prime time cable lineup.  Hosted by Vice President Joe Biden, each hour long episode will demonstrate the laws of nature as they impact our lives in everyday situations. Appearing as “Uncle Joe”, the ever-affable and proto-clueless Biden had previewers rolling in the aisles as he explains basic forces like gravity, resistance, fluid dynamics, energy/friction/heat and the physics of maple syrup in the context of walking, hitting your head, hair restoration and swimming naked with the grandkids....."   

Monday, July 24, 2023

The Idiotarod

EARL DONE THIS (click to biggify & and zoom in on the map) šŸ¤£

Tuesday, July 4, 2023

The Strange Case Of the White House Library Cocaine


A WH Secret Service detail found a suspicious white powder substance in the library during a routine round at the White House on Sunday that tested positive for cocaine. It remains unknown to whom the substance belonged or how it arrived at the premises. But I'm sure tomorrow speculations will run wild in the media it could have been left over from the Trump administration.

The FBI has sent their garage door noose squad to the scene to join in the investigation. The discovery came soon after first son Hunter Biden's visit to the White House on Friday after which he and daddy Joe left for Camp David.

Newsmax host Robb Schmitt said during a report on the cocaine discovery: 'It wouldn't be a thumpin' July 4th weekend without Hunter Biden ripping a few lines off of a bust of Teddy Roosevelt.'

~ Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS for the Linkage! ~
 

Thursday, June 15, 2023

It Was The Plan All Along


Through all the noise of recent events, rumors have been circulated in the media saying more Democrats are becoming accustomed to the idea of VP Kamala Harris replacing Joe Biden, which is the reason why some are pushing for Biden’s reelection so hard, according to insiders. According to one of these insiders, Harris becoming president is now considered a plausible if not likely scenario. The DNC’s strategy to ensure the Democrat establishment remains in power is to re-elect Joe Biden, no matter how old or capable he is, and then get him to resign or step aside and install Kamala Harris as president.
  
No.

As many, including you Beloved Editrix, said when Kamala was chosen as VP, it was the plan all along. Joe Biden just outlived their expectations. 

The DNC awarded Biden by rigging the primaries just as they did for the drunk grandma of death in 2016, and they picked Harris as his VP, knowing he probably couldn't make 4 years without assuming room temperature by either natural causes or falling down the WH stairs or run over while flagging down an ice cream truck. 


The Democrats sold Biden in 2020 to their most loyal constituency, black females, with the knowledge Kamala would ascend to the office. There is no way in hell Kamala could win the presidency on her own. 

In the Dems zeal to have the first woman president, she would be untested and unelected and, like Joe, be owning to act as the Democrat Establishment’s puppet president and able to push harder the far left agenda. She would also have the advantage and power of incumbency to run in 2028.

None of this is possible now if Biden doesn’t run because Joe has outlived expectations. Harris will certainly be an anchor on the Democrat ticket, given her horrible approval ratings, but according to what I believe has always been their plan, if Biden were to get reelected and step down, dems have their vaginal possessing President and a (be it fake) first black woman President. And that's what it's all about.

This is why they tried, but failed to keep Kamala out of the media and in the background as much as possible, publicly given projects she has nothing to do with. Low key, non-controversial.


Fox
IBD
Crazy Cousin Oliva    

Tuesday, May 16, 2023

Biden to Return From G7 Early, Reducing Opportunities for Regular Embarrassments on World Stage


With surely a temporary sigh of relief by his staff, the White House has announce the President has decided to cut his trip to Japan short and return to the Washington on Sunday immediately following the completion of the [Group of Seven summit], to pretend to arm wrestle over the debt.

Biden had plans to meet with leaders in Australia and Papua New Guinea to discuss China and climate initiatives after the meetings. The summit is to be held in Hiroshima, Japan, where Joe will embarrass America to our economic allies answering for his potential coming wreckage of the global economy, then before leaving Biden will meet with victims of the atomic bomb drop that help defeat Japan in WW2, which opens up a gigantic window for Biden as usual, say something really really stupid and embarrassing. 

After watching Biden from afar, the Japanese probably picked Hiroshima thinking he's bumbling and ignorant enough to actually do something.......... like apologize.  Or maybe he'll just tell a good 'ol Biden story about how he used to witness atomic tests in the Nebraska desert while everyone gets sloshed on sake.  One thing is for sure, from shitting his pants, to forgetting where he is, nothing is out of the realm of possibility when Joe is involved.  You know the State Dept & WH press offices hold their breath every time he leaves the sight of a teleprompter......

Tuesday, April 25, 2023

Sniffy & Cackles Announce Plans to Finish the Job Of Finishing America


This morning America woke to a slick, cloying video by the faceless collective operating the Biden Administration announcing its intention to continue embarrassing us on the world stage and running America into the ditch. The putative president provided a slurry voiceover for the three-minute ad, though he himself only appeared in the video for seven seconds. The rest of the ad was divided between footage of scary “magger extremists,” as the alleged president derides half the country, and older footage of Biden along with cackles and his old lady, and a host of good progressive Americans. There was even a one-second glimpse of Biden alongside Saint Barky, recalling the good ole days.

Since Democrats do nothing but raze norms these days, we shouldn’t be surprised that their figurehead announced their 2024 campaign in a cowardly pre-dawn video release rather than a raucous in-person live appearance, replete with flags, pounding music, and a thrilling balloon drop. If you still haven’t realized that the “leaders” the people “vote for” aren’t really doing the leading and that the American Left has become a headless monster, then I can’t help you.

Tuesday, February 21, 2023

Historian says 46 Will Go Down as Worst in History


Presidential historian and New York Times best-selling author Craig Shirley says Joe Biden is on track to become the nation's worst president in history.
"I ranked him among our five worst presidents in American history. He's actually going to become the worst president in American history. 
Everything he does seems to be about destroying American exceptionalism, the American experiment and the American creed. 
I've come to the conclusion he's doing it on purpose."
The ranking is based off of a piece that Shirley wrote one year into Joe Biden's presidency. Shirley said that now that it's been two years since the president took office. 46 has been getting a lot of backlash lately for inflation, the economy and unpopular foreign policy decisions and now for choosing to go to Ukraine for a photo op and film footage for another election campaign on your money instead of going to Ohio where people are dealing with the aftermath of the train derailment and toxic chemicals affecting the community. 

Jimmy Carter should go to his reward confident he will no longer be considered the worst.

[NYT]
[Just the News]
~ Thank You MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage! ~

Monday, February 20, 2023

So, Brandon Drops By to See Volodymyr....

While in the neighborhood, Joe stops by the Palace in Kiev to pick up his 10% in person.

 Zelenskyy's Squeeze & The Dynamic Duo Outside Volodymyr's Palatial Wartime Bunker


~ Thank You Larwyn's Linx@ Doug Ross Journal for the Linkage! ~

Sunday, February 12, 2023

What Better Way To Kick Off Super Bowl Sunday Than With Film of Joe Biden Scoring Touchdowns.

Believe it or not, Joe Biden was a star hero footballer in high school, and what better way is there to celebrate Super Bowl Sunday than watching game film of the then-future POTUS doing a Justin Jefferson all over the his opponents scoring touchdown after touchdown?

In fact, there’s a collection of Archmere Academy game films — narrated by then-quarterback Bill Peterman and chock full of charmingly low-tech production, really loud unlicensed music, and some fancy dance moves by Peterman at the end — that has been sitting on YouTube since 2010, the year that Peterman and his former teammates met to celebrate the 50th anniversary of their undefeated season. But the clip has gone largely unnoticed, and as of writing this, has been viewed by just over 8 thousand people.


[Mediaite]
~ Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS for the Linkage! ~

Thursday, February 9, 2023

Riveting New Documentary Film By Director E. Taint

 Children Will Study This International Crisis Triumph For Decades


Earl Done This Arts (Click Image To Make Biggie)

Note from US Ministry of Truth: "Chinese Spy Balloon" is a Xenophobic microaggression.
The new term is "Alleged Gas Filled Reconnaissance Floaty Thing." 
That is all.

Sunday, February 5, 2023

Kevin Invites Greasy Joe to Drop By for the Annual Ritual Spreading of Manure

Kevin McCarthy, newly elected herder of cats, and vanquisher of screaming banshees and lying treasonist democrats, officially invited the pretend President to come by the people's House Chamber Tuesday evening to show off his vast orator skills and attempt publicly to do his constitutional duty to report to congress 'The State of the Union'.  Or as better known to long time DMFers as the 'Ritual Spreading of Manure', a tiresome exercise in political exhibitionism, the most execrable ceremony in the nation’s civic liturgy, regardless of which party’s leader is abusing it.

EARL Done This Arts

On the high side, the Republican response to Greasy Joe will be given by the newly elected Governor of the Great State of Arkansas, The Honorable Sarah Huckabee Sanders. We all remember her don't we.  And we know the democrats surely do! šŸ¤£šŸ¤£
 
 MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage! ~
  

Monday, January 16, 2023

Maybe They Just Classified the WH Lunch Menu to Make VP Joe Feel Important.


AZC - Long before today’s political mayhem, I came across a top secret document on a table in Joe Biden’s VP White House office. The red warning on the cover caught my attention but my eyes drifted to the then-vice president’s keepsakes. Minutes after our interview ended, the classified document caused a minor skirmish in the West Wing.

 A year into his vice presidency, Biden had agreed to a White House interview with The (Wilmington) News Journal, his hometown paper. Fred Comegys, a national photographer of the year, got the assignment. An hour and a half into the interview, Elizabeth Alexander, Biden’s press secretary, wrapped things up. When finished, we were led to an anteroom and out to a hallway that skirts the Roosevelt Room on its way to the Brady press briefing room.

As we neared the exit, notebooks full of Bidenisms, Carney rushed up. Guys with ear pieces appeared. A Panasonic recorder in my hand clicked on.

Carney had seen the classified document on the table, and he knew we had seen it too. Fred might have been walking out with photos of classified information. Top secret documents must be handled under strict protocols, stored and viewed only in secure rooms

Carney demanded Fred’s camera.

We said no.
READ MORE HERE

EARL DONE THESE ARTS