Monday, January 7, 2013

First Lady Not Happy to Return to Chilly DC

The Obama family officially returned from their
Christmas vacation in Hawaii on Sunday.

* made from an original photo by Mary Jane Anklestraps
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It's Time We Ban All Holidays

via Euripides

"This past week I read several news articles that just proves to me what I've been feeling for many years now: All holidays should be banned for the good of this country. Holidays are oppressive remnants of an evil bygone era, long overdue to be banned. I'm sure all will agree that it is high time we took a look at the institution of holidays and think about giving that up. Let me go through a partial list of holidays in the US to show what I mean:

New Years Day - This celebration is completely insensitive to those non-Julian calendared individuals in our country. We can no longer support a day that just isn't new years for Jews, Muslims, or the Chinese. Besides, having wild parties in the middle of the night at Times Square is downright dangerous and unhealthy.

Martin Luther King Jr. Birthday - Originally based on the ideal of civil rights, this holiday is a reminder of White oppression and the evils of slavery. Since we no longer want anyone to feel bad around the celebration of holidays, we must also get rid of this one. It also neglects to celebrate the diversity of all people of color, for example, excluding Hispanics and Asians. Gays are not represented either, especially in light of the modern idea that gays are the "New Black."

Mardi Gras - At first glance, this holiday seems innocuous enough, representing the average American values of debauchery and overindulgence. However, we can no longer support a holiday that takes place in New Orleans. This city was destroyed by Hurricane Katrina, which, as we all know, was Bush's fault. We must not support any holiday associated with George W. Bush.

Valentine's Day - Of course, this is the celebration of St. Valentine, a religious figure, and should be given up since it is offensive to any non-Catholic. It is also a reminder that gays have been legislated from their freedom to express love, apparently in any way, shape or form. The non-romantic in this country take exception to the idealization of romance and want nothing to do with it and should not have romanticism and love shoved in their faces.

President's Day - At the outset, this looks like a good idea until you realize that we are also celebrating George W. Bush who was President of the US. No one really wants a holiday that celebrates Bush. If Clinton had only been allowed to stay in office, we could probably keep this one holiday, but alas, Bush has ruined it for everyone.


April Fool's Day - All but gone anyway, the practice of playing practical jokes on anyone is insensitive, unfunny and should be made criminally illegal with stiff jail terms and fines imposed.

St. Patrick's Day - A Catholic throwback that should best be ignored. Making everything green in its celebration denies the diversity of color. We might, perhaps, consider a Rainbow Beer day instead, but beer will soon be illegal since it causes obesity and drunk drivers.

May Day - A holiday based on the mass destruction of earth's natural resources by cutting and killing millions of innocent flowers is completely unconscionable. We should never agree to any holiday that contributes so drastically to global warming.

Cinco de Mayo - This isn't a real holiday in Mexico either, but an excuse to get drunk and cause traffic accidents. It should have been banned years ago.

Mother's Day - This insensitive celebration doesn't even consider the many women who cannot have children, or choose to abort them. Men, also are excluded, which at the outset may seem like a good thing until you realize that some gays are men as well.


Independence Day - This is merely a celebration of some old, fat, white guys making other old, fat white guys angry and starting a war that killed lots of innocent people. We also need to consider that fireworks are inherently dangerous and need to be banned. Personally, I'm tired of trying to find new ways to decorate using red, white, and blue as the only possible colors.

Labor Day - When we have a holiday that reminds us that we should all be working, we're not being fair to the myriads of people depending on the US welfare system for their support. We could conceivably stretch this particular holiday to include welfare recipients, and call it Nanny State Day or some such, but alas, there are still people who insist on working for a living and ruining it for the rest of us.


Hannukah - Lighting candles in your house or apartment is dangerous. It's best if we forget this holiday for the safety of all.

Christmas - The grandparent of all oppressive religious holidays, this is a reminder to atheists around the country that "we are all going to hell if we don't bow down to Jesus." Its traditional values of peace on earth, goodwill towards men has absolutely no place in our modern, secular society. No such religious sentimentality should be forced on anyone. Gift giving and being nice to others also has no business being enforced by the religious right. Christmas contributes to widespread deforestation, light pollution, mall traffic, and global warming. It remains the most unhealthy time of the year as heart attacks and suicides increase. Santa Claus is a silly myth and superstition that should never be imposed on anyone, let alone on unsuspecting and innocent children. Wal-Mart workers would certainly be safer without it.

Kwanzaa - Let's face it, this one was just made up so Blacks in the US could feel better about themselves by having their own tradition to adhere to. Traditions are inane remnants of deranged minds and no one in this country has a right to feel better about themselves.

There you have it. A lot of problems in the US would go away if we would stop being so selfish and just give up our holidays. Ill feelings would melt away as the ear of a chocolate Easter bunny in the mouth of a three year old.


Go Here to see Rip's complete list of Holiday bans.
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A Good Monday Morning


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Sunday, January 6, 2013

A White House Petition for Joe Biden Televison Show...Hell Yeah!

We petition the Obama administration to:
Authorize the production of a recurring television program
featuring Vice President Joe Biden
"Vice President Joe Biden has a demonstrated ability to bring people together, whether at the negotiating table or at the neighborhood diner. We, therefore, urge the Obama Administration to authorize the production of a recurring C-SPAN television program featuring the daily activities and interactions of the Vice President with elected officials, foreign dignitaries and everyday American families. Such a program would educate the American public about the duties and responsibilities of their Vice President, while providing a glimpse of the lighthearted side of politics even in the midst of contentious and divisive national debates." -  White House.gov/petitions
I never equated C-SPAN with Comedy. But hey, it's an Obama world now, right?
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Saturday, January 5, 2013

DMF Scores a Zilla

I'm proud to announce Diogenes Middle Finger has be awarded a Zilla Award in the Best Artist category for 2012 by Zilla of the Resistance While art tends to take a back seat to snark and satire here, I'm extremely flattered to be recognized along with such an illustrious winners group that includes:
The Looking Spoon, Political Clown Parade, Buffoon – Waznmentobe/Blur Brain, Big Fur Hat at iOTW, The Morlock Revolt, The People’s CubeDaleToons, & Bosch Fawstin.
Thank You Mare! 

Stop by Zilla's Place and check out the winners in all the categories and give Mare some love while your there!
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Friday, January 4, 2013

Obama voters stunned to discover that they too are “millionaires


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Army Acknowledges Pedophilia Part of Islam

"When your cultish religion tells you to follow the examples of a false prophet who had sex with children, this is absolutely part of your religion! No denying it, Muzzies. Own it!"
- Doctor Bulldog

WND - "A new Army manual that warns American soldiers in Afghanistan to avoid talking about certain topics has unwittingly acknowledged that Western taboos such as pedophilia are an inherent part of Islamic culture.
“By mentioning that pedophilia and women’s rights and saying that soldiers should not mention such things they are tacitly admitting that those things are indeed part of Islam,” said Robert Spencer, founder of Jihad Watch.
According to The Wall Street Journal, a new 75-page Army manual suggests U.S. soldiers are to blame for the large number of deadly attacks on them by Afghan security forces. The manual reportedly says the soldiers may have brought the attacks on themselves because of insensitivity towards Islamic culture.
“Many of the confrontations occur because of [coalition] ignorance of, or lack of empathy for, Muslim and/or Afghan cultural norms, resulting in a violent reaction from the [Afghan security force] member,” the draft report prepared by Army researchers and obtained by the Journal said.
Clare Lopez, a senior fellow with the Center for Security Policy, said the suggestion that U.S. soldiers are to blame for the attacks on them by Afghan security forces is outrageous.
“To suggest that our troops are somehow being murdered because of our insensitivity to their culture is essentially saying it’s our own fault that the troops are being killed because we weren’t nice enough to them,” Lopez said. “The fundamental refusal to acknowledge that the enemy fights because of what he says he fight for, which is Islam, is a failure by our professional leadership from Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta on down. Because of this, we have no strategy.”
In an attempt to quell the attacks the Army report has issued a list of “taboo conversational topics.”
The topics include “making derogatory comments about the Taliban,” “advocating women’s rights” and “directing any criticism towards Afghans” or “anything related to Islam.”
The Army manual also advises soldiers to avoid “any criticism of pedophilia” or “mentioning homosexuality and homosexual conduct.....”
H/T Doctor Bulldog
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Liberals, Labels, and Diversity

Talk Straight
"I find it truly hilarious watching liberals attempt to insult a conservative. The majority results in calling the said conservative person ugly, mentally handicapped, homosexual, transsexual, any kind of abnormal condition, or they insult the person’s race. Its ironic because they treat their liberal ideology as if its the most supportive of diversity including all sexualities, mental & physical abnormalities, and racial diversity. Why then do they use these labels as insults?"
"If Liberals really were the most accepting group they wouldn’t use these labels to offend those who disagreed with their agenda. Conservatives on the other hand, treat everyone the same. While we don’t really care what you do, how different you are (unless it directly effects us), or what your background is. Liberals enjoy labeling, to insult or to attract those who identify with a label. Thus creating division. And while they glorify this bit of division, if you think outside of their beliefs you are rejected. Its this type of controlling belief system that has led to disrespect of diverse ideology and diversity altogether. Look different, act different, but don’t you dare support conservative beliefs or your labels will become insults."
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Readers Choice: The Best of Diogenes of 2012

Compiled and Submitted By Broadside Betty and Tiger Rag







Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Hollywood Gets Tax Incentive Extensions???

"Hollywood players routinely beg the government to raise their taxes so they can pay their "fair share."

Yet the industry moves new productions to places where existing tax breaks help its bottom line. That means plenty of shows and films are shot in states like New Mexico, which feature highly favorable tax rates, as well as destinations north of the border with similar perks.

Now Hollywood has used its clout to ensure that its generous tax incentives will continue in a time of fiscal crisis. And it seems Hollywood's rigorous backing of President Barack Obama and his Democrat peers in the waning months of 2012 paid off......."


Read More...
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Tuesday, January 1, 2013