Monday, November 9, 2015

David Vitter is Sorry For Banging Skanky Hookers...... Can He Be Louisiana Governor Now?


Louisiana Sen. David Vitter (R-Brothel) want so much to get out of the bore of Washington DC and become the High Governor of the Great State of Louisiana, and be closer to the brothels state he loves sooo much.  It’s been a while since family values poster boy has addressed the scurrilous accusations that he was a loyal customer of Whorehouse Madams, because by gosh, that was so long ago, and God and Mrs. Vitter have forgiven him, SO MOVE ON. And his campaign for governor has done a good job of getting reporters who dare to ask him about that fired for their journalistic impropriety, allegedly.

But the Vitter campaign has had a change of heart, so Louisiana, our wannabe Governor has new ad, which he is obviously using to troll all of us, because the damned thing is called ....and no, I'm not making this up..... "Hard Times."

(Note: It only took the Vitter campaign a few hours to realize its poor choice of wording and change the name of the ad to “Difficult Times.”)
"Fifteen years ago, I failed my family, but found forgiveness and love. I learned that our falls aren’t what define us, but rather, how we get up, accept responsibility, and earn redemption. You know me. I’m a fighter. And as your governor, I’ll get up every day to fight for you. For a much better, stronger Louisiana." 
It’s funny that Vitter thinks Louisiana is in deep doo, since our current Republican governor Bobby Jindal keeps insisting he’s done a real bang-up job of cleaning up the joint, by, for example, shutting down the charity hospital system, and then refusing expanded Medicaid funding, leaving hundred of thousands of poor Louisiana citizens without affordable health care that was supported and funded by every Governor since it's inception over 200 years ago.

The Vitter campaign’s decision to vaguely address and dismiss that Hard Time Vitter broke the law, and the vows of his marriage by humping Freaky Canal Street Brothel Ladies of the Evening might have something to do with the not-even-remotely subtle ad released last week by his rival, John Bel Edwards, which not only goes there, but then drives another 100 miles past there, refills the gas tank, and keeps on going.
 
Vitter’s campaign had already denied recent allegations that the staunch “pro-lifer” had knocked up his mistress and dumped her like an adult dookie when she refused to abort his love child. So it would be irresponsible for us to speculate that the “forgiveness and love” Vitter found, after undermining the sanctity of his traditional marriage, includes keeping some ‘tang on the side and then asking said ‘tang to murder his unborn baby.

Polling shows Vitter is expected to have his diapered ass handed to him on Nov. 21.

A Good Monday Morning

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Tin Foil Hat Alert #584

Secret military operations to divert LAX planes for a week...

LOS ANGELES (KABC) --Mysterious maneuvers over the Pacific are forcing a change in Los Angeles International Airport landings late at night, meaning noise for thousands of people in the flight path.

Commercial flights approach from the west and over the ocean to keep noise levels down, but due to secret military operations the airspace over the Pacific is closed to incoming flights for the next week. The military is not saying what exactly is causing the change, and LAX claims it's also in the dark. All they know is planes can't be flying at low altitudes to our west.

Six years ago, ABC7 cameras captured a military operation in downtown LA. Helicopters were seen swooping between high-rises, close enough that residents were able to see armed soldiers in camouflage outside their window.  Authorities claimed it was part of a training exercise designed to ensure the military's ability to operate in urban environments and to prepare forces for upcoming overseas deployment.

What's going on this week is a mystery.

Well, I think Donald Douglas @ American Power may have solved the mystery - but I doubt  it will be satisfactory enough for the "Legions of The Tin Foil Hat".  



Professor Greets Incoming Class of Precious Snowflakes with Speech Crushing Their PC Beliefs

IJRMike Adams, a professor at the University of North Carolina-Wilmington is not your stereotypical left-wing teacher. On the heels of a report that showed that liberal arts professors overwhelmingly support Democrats, Adams’ semester-opening statement to his students, first printed in Townhall in late August has gone viral.

North Carolina-Wilmington Professor Mike Adams

(Trigger warning: The following is extraordinarily insensitive and its candor may cause some students to be highly offended. Symptoms of being confronted with viewpoints other than one’s own may cause one to get “the vapors” and students have even been known to collapse in a fainting spell upon reading offensive literature. Reader discretion is advised.)
"Welcome back to class, students! 
I am Mike Adams your criminology professor here at UNC-Wilmington. Before we get started with the course I need to address an issue that is causing problems here at UNCW and in higher education all across the country. I am talking about the growing minority of students who believe they have a right to be free from being offended. If we don’t reverse this dangerous trend in our society there will soon be a majority of young people who will need to walk around in plastic bubble suits to protect them in the event that they come into contact with a dissenting viewpoint. That mentality is unworthy of an American. It’s hardly worthy of a Frenchman.
Let’s get something straight right now. You have no right to be unoffended. You have a right to be offended with regularity. It is the price you pay for living in a free society. If you don’t understand that you are confused and dangerously so. In part, I blame your high school teachers for failing to teach you basic civics before you got your diploma. Most of you went to the public high schools, which are a disaster. Don’t tell me that offended you. I went to a public high school.
Of course, your high school might not be the problem. It is entirely possible that the main reason why so many of you are confused about free speech is that piece of paper hanging on the wall right over there. Please turn your attention to that ridiculous document that is framed and hanging by the door. In fact, take a few minutes to read it before you leave class today. It is our campus speech code. It specifically says that there is a requirement that everyone must only engage in discourse that is “respectful.” That assertion is as ludicrous as it is illegal. I plan to have that thing ripped down from every classroom on campus before I retire.
One of my grandfathers served in World War I. My step-grandfather served in World War II. My sixth great grandfather enlisted in the American Revolution when he was only thirteen. These great men did not fight so we could simply relinquish our rights to the enemy within our borders. That enemy is the Marxists who run our public universities. If you are a Marxist and I just offended you, well, that’s tough. I guess they don’t make communists like they used to.
Unbelievably, a student once complained to the Department chairwoman that my mention of God and a Creator was a violation of Separation of Church and State. Let me be as clear as I possibly can: If any of you actually think that my decision to paraphrase the Declaration of Independence in the course syllabus is unconstitutional then you suffer from severe intellectual hernia.
Indeed, it takes hard work to become stupid enough to think the Declaration of Independence is unconstitutional. If you agree with the student who made that complaint then you are probably just an anti-religious zealot. Therefore, I am going to ask you to do exactly three things and do them in the exact order that I specify.
First, get out of my class. You can fill out the drop slip over at James Hall. Just tell them you don’t believe in true diversity and you want to be surrounded by people who agree with your twisted interpretation of the Constitution simply because they are the kind of people who will protect you from having your beliefs challenged or your feelings hurt.
Second, withdraw from the university. If you find that you are actually relieved because you will no longer be in a class where your beliefs might be challenged then you aren’t ready for college. Go get a job building houses so you can work with some illegal aliens who will help you gain a better appreciation of what this country has to offer.
Finally, if this doesn’t work then I would simply ask you to get the hell out of the country. The ever-growing thinned-skinned minority you have joined is simply ruining life in this once-great nation. Please move to some place like Cuba where you can enjoy the company of communists and get excellent health care. Just hop on a leaky boat and start paddling your way towards utopia. You will not be missed."
Earlier this year, Adams won a court victory against the school, when he sued, asserting that he was not promoted due to his outspoken conservatism. 

Friday, November 6, 2015

The Tussle in Tuscaloosa

The 7-0 Tigers vs The 7-1 Crimson Tide



MIKE IS NOT PLEASED! Alabama 30 - LSU 16

I've been told that in the upper left hand corner of the chalkboard in the football defensive squad room at Louisiana State University are written the numbers '2011', circled in red. Every defensive player for LSU in the last few years knows the meaning, and the reason they are there. 

On November 5th, 2011, a crowd of 101,800+ squeezed into Bryant-Denny Stadium in Tuscaloosa Alabama to create a sea of red and witness the visiting #1 ranked LSU Tigers battle their #2 ranked Crimson Tide in what the sporting press of the time were calling 'The Game of the Century'.  It lived up to it's name. It was a 4 quarter epic defensive struggle with neither team able to cross the goal line.  LSU won 9-6 with a field goal in overtime.

Two months later, on January 9th, the undefeated #1 Tigers and the #2 Crimson Tide met once again for rematch in New Orleans, this time for the BCS National Championship. 

It was the showdown of the top 2 defenses in college football. This time the LSU defense faltered, and gave up a touchdown, the only one of the game. Alabama kicked their way to a 21-0 victory and captured the 2011 BCS Title, thus denying LSU it's 3rd National Championship in 9 years, and giving Alabama their 2nd Championship Title in 3 years. The mighty Crimson Tide would go on to repeat as National Champions of college football the following year.

Thus are the things of historic rivalries. And this is a rivalry that includes the legendary coaching days of Bear Byrant and Charlie McClendon. And as most years, the last meeting was worthy of such rivalries. With just 50 seconds left on the clock, the #14 Tigers were on the verge of a 13-10 upset of #4 Alabama. A mistake gave The Tide field position and a field goal put the game into overtime, with Alabama scoring an unanswered touchdown for a 20-13 win. That win helped catapulted Alabama on to the SEC Championship and one of four National Championship playoff berths. 

Saturday night in Tuscaloosa  will be the 80th regular season meeting of the teams, and once again an important stage is set. Beside bragging rites, this game holds the key to a SEC West Championship and a step towards a National Champion playoff berth. 

Few rivalries in college football can match the anticipation and  excitement generated on both sides, or hold the importance of the yearly meeting of the Tigers of LSU and the Alabama Crimson Tide.  7 of the last 9 meetings between the teams have been decided by 9 points or less, and since 2003, Alabama and LSU combined have made 6 National Championship Game appearances. (3-0 & 2-1 respectively)
  
The Crimson Tide have owned the Tigers since that January night in New Orleans. But the Football Gods have shined favorably this year on a young Tiger team who have played well ahead of their age and years of experience, and many believe this could be the year '2011' finally gets erased from the chalkboard. 

And as is becoming our tradition, in the spirit of sportsmanship and rivalry, both I and my Blog Sister Curmudgeon of 'The Political Clown Parade', the most die hard Crimson Tide fan I've ever known who proudly bleeds the Crimson and White of Alabama,  shall make a charitable contribution to The Wounded Warrior Project in the name of the winner, to honor the wounded men an women who have made their sacrificed to help insure the freedom we all enjoy.  

So, as in years past it's now time to throw out meaningless poll rankings, power indexes and efficiency ratings and to ignore the 'expert sports monkey's' opining.  Whoever brings their 'A' game and makes the least mistakes will walk away the victor Saturday night.

So buckle in boys and girls..... 
Alabama and LSU gonna play some football!!

GEAUX TIGERS!


Fishnet Friday

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Who Was It That Said: "We'll Take Over America Without Firing a Shot"

"I just see this as such an oppressive document that I was
completely shocked to see it on campus."

Yale University Campus Official Rips Up U.S. Constitution

"Well, I think that the Constitution means things to different people; like you said it is a flawed document and the people who wrote it are certainly flawed individuals in my mind. My personal feeling—and everybody’s entitled to their opinion—is that the people on the Supreme Court who wrote it against the same sex marriage were, you know, really out of their minds. They are smart people, and therefore I struggle to understand why they would hold such views".

In a sequel to the outrageous Project Veritas video, originally reported by Campus Reform Tuesday, administrators at Cornell, Syracuse, and Yale Universities join their colleagues from Vassar in ripping up the Constitution in response to a fake student's complaints.
The first video depicted two different administrators at Vassar agreeing to shred a copy of the Constitution in an effort to soothe the feelings of a "student" (actually a Project Veritas reporter) who claimed to have been deeply upset and offended when she was offered a free copy by a group on campus.
In the second video, officials at Cornell, Syracuse, and Yale all offer similar responses, though several of them, lacking access to a shredder, had to tear or cut the document instead. Like the first, it is filmed in the undercover style made famous by the 2009 ACORN videos produced by James O'Keefe, who is also Project Veritas' founder.
READ MORE 

The Real CNBC Republican Debate

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Bernie Sanders Says You Too Should Have the Right To Be Stoned........

Bernie Says You Should Be Able To Smoke Um If Ya Got Um

Introduces Senate Bill To Lift The Federal Ban On Marijuana

Bernie Sanders today introduced the 'Ending Federal Marijuana Prohibition Act', a bill to lift the federal ban on marijuana. The bill is companion legislation to H.R. 1013, the Regulate Marijuana Like Alcohol Act, a bill introduced in February.  But due to those ol' intolerant Republicans being stuck in the “just say no” mentality of the 1980s, this bill will not make it out of Congress. However, continually wasting time introducing these bills is still a vital step in achieving real change in the eyes of the lefties.

"American society has made great strides on numerous issues during the presidency of Barack Obama, but two great and intertwined challenges remain. The nation is making real bipartisan progress of criminal justice reform, but along with reforming the criminal justice system it is important to look at the decriminalization of marijuana. Progress takes persistence, nd the introduction of this bill is another milestone on the path to change."
Yeah, emptying out the jails of low level drug dealers who will run right out and get themselves a good job will be real cultural progress. And I know, I'll feel much safer driving down the street on weekends knowing every 10th car coming my direction is full of teenagers stoned out of their heads. Yes, the Obama Presidency has made great strides for America, and putting criminals back on the street and making pot legal will be the cherry on the top. You go Bernie!

Attention "Party of Science"


H/T Van der Leun

Trump Refuses to Take Sides in Big Contest



(Editor's Note: I defy the reader to not hear Trump's voice while reading his remarks below)

MFNS - Des Moines IA. - During a press conference today, our Middle Finger News Service reporter had a chance to ask the Republican front runner a question which he artfully dodged as only a politician can.

MFNS Reporter: Mr. Trump, to step away from the politics of the day for a moment, I'd like to ask about your thoughts on the big Alabama - LSU football game this weekend?

Trump: Now you see Ladies and Gentlemen of the press.......there is more in this world besides politics. You people should take a lesson from this guy...... here is a real Journalist.......Bless you my son........where have you been?  Yes, I'd be glad to talk about other things beside politics. You ask out the Alabama - LSU Game?..... are you kiddin' me? It's gonna be yuge......yuge I Tell ya! You kiddin' me......you seen the size of those guys?........  And those coaches?.......Great Guys. Tremendous guys! That Nick Saban.....cocky little guy.....I like that. He likes to win.....I like that......he yells at his people a lot......I like that......he's tremendous! Just Tremendous!  His team wears red......aaah... I can take it or leave it.....I'm partial to green myself.   And that Les Miles...... what a guy........wears that white hat all the time.....I like that.......I bet he even wears it to bed too.........and he's a sneaky little bastard that never gets rattled......I like that! Tremendous Guy....Just Tremendous! And I'm gonna tell ya......have you seen those LSU cheerleaders? Where do they get those teriffic girls I'm askin' ya? They're amazing!.....I gotta get Les Miles to let me build him a yuge new stadium.....you know his place is almost a 100 years old.....I... 

MFNS: Excuse me Mr Trump, what about the game?

Trump: The Game? It's gonna be friggin' yuge! You kiddin' me....two of the best facin' off face to face.....it gonna be a war.....it's gonna be terrific! And if it was me I'd be runnin' end sweeps.... double reverses......jump passes.....ya know.....give um a real show.....

MFNS: What about the score Mr Trump? Who do you think will win?

Trump: A tremendous game like this?.......ya know I gotta be truthful......I have a lot of amazing supporters in the great states of Louisiana and Alabama....terrific  supporters.......you wouldn't want me to alienate any of my voters.....that's not good politics.  I'll tell ya what ya do.....call my staff after the game and I'll tell ya who I think the winner will be. Look....Ya know this is always a yuge game.....yuge.....a teriffic battle......and I'll tell ya this......I'd probable take either team against anybody in the nation right now .....you kiddin' me......these are two really amazing teams..... tremendous teams! Just Tremendous!......and unlike most of these jerk-offs in the media here, I know I'll be watchin'..... Did I mention those stunning LSU cheerleaders.....I...

MFNS: Uh, Thank You for your answer, Mr. Trump......


Mr. Trump and Tiger Cheerleaders