Sunday, October 9, 2016

Hillary Rodham: Violent Avenger of Bunnies

Even before the silly news broke of an 11 year old video of Donald Trump's egregious Pussygate,  locker room language not usually used in polite company, or before talk of who does or doesn't possess the temperament to be President, we were treated to an even more true shocker of a story (conveniently ignored by the media) by author Edward Klein in his new book 'Guilty as Sin'.

Mr. Klein has previously written in 'The Truth About Hillary', that Hillary was a big old thigh licker with "no wifely instincts."

In his new book he reveals that she cusses and has an explosive temper, (she is said to have blooded-up a sitting president over a stain on a carpet or something) and probably can’t be trusted to be president because she could very well be not only a serial liar, but pathologically violent:
"Hillary’s combative behavior is nothing new; she’s been that way all her life. For my 2005 book The Truth About Hillary, I interviewed Hillary’s grammar school classmate, Jim Yrigoyen, who told me the story of being ordered by Hillary to guard a warren of baby rabbits, and not give any of them away to neighborhood boys. When he did, recalled Yrigoyen, “Hillary hauled off and punched me in the nose."
"She’s been using people as punching bags ever since...."
Well, the little jerk did give away the baby bunnies after being told not to now didn’t he?  A baby bunny belongs in the nest with the mama, not in the incompetent hands of some little snot-nosed creep who’s likely to let it die. 

But this story goes a long way in explain Hillary's reported legendary violence while reigning as the nation's First Lady.  And I might remind you of that time back in 2012 when stories emerged of Young Mitt Romney having bullied a kid at prep school by knocking him down and chopping his hair off with scissors, so he’d stop being a long-haired hippie type. We didn't elect him either, now did we?

But will all this matter to Democrats? Barack Obama once admitted to playground violence by pushing a girl on the playground! And even worse, there was monstrous child Joe Biden, who threatened to punch bullies in the nose for messing with his friend!  And just look what these people have done to our country!

The question is America: do we disqualify ourselves from voting for a candidate who has on occasion used a colorful word for a female body part, as boys sometime do?  Or do we take a chance and elect another Democrat with a blatant history of violence against their fellow man?  I Think Not!

Thank You MJA for the Linkage!

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Friday, October 7, 2016

Coach Oeaux vs The Swamp Chickens

Florida Roosters (Swampus-gallinaceous defensi)

What I'm about to say may seem to some insensitive, but is what the sports media can not say for Political Correct reasons. And yes, I have experienced hurricanes; Katrina, Rita and Ike.  Gainesville was not projected to be in the path of hurricane Matthew, being on the weak eastern side, no where near the coast and far from the eye. Just squalls and winds, the sun will more then likely be shining bright in Gainesville Sunday afternoon. 
The #18 ranked Florida Gators chose to cancel the Saturday meeting with the LSU Tigers at The Swamp in  Gainesville. They were well within their right as home team.  But they also refused to consider rescheduling the game.

The Tigers offered to fly in and play Sunday night in The Swamp, field condition permitting.  Fla.. refused.  LSU offered to play a Monday night.  Fla. refused.  LSU offered to play in any open stadium in the south of Florida's choice.  Fla. refused. They stalled and hid behind the SEC Commissioner until he postponed the game indefinitely. 


In defense of the Florida Gators, with their toothless offense and their much vaunted mythical Defense, you know, the one the Vols hung 28 points on in less then 15 min, and the same one that SEC powerhouse Vanderbilt beat up last week, coupled with what LSU did to Missouri last Saturday, I wouldn't want to face the Tigers either.  Florida Coach McIlwain saw the storm was gonna be a gift from heaven.

Oh well, McIlwain can take his swamp roosters down the road a bit to Disney World Saturday instead. They reopen at 8am. 

There's a reason fried Gator meat taste like chicken.....

This Week in the SEC:

#1 Alabama vs #16 Arkansas:
If Alabama were to lose a game this year, this would be the one to lose. I think it would have less affect on the The Tide's run then a loss to A&M. The Hogs have made the Tide sweat through the last two meeting, but as usual, the tide will pull away in the 4th quarter.
I say The Tide by 10 

#9 Tennessee vs #8 Texas A&M
The Vol's Cinderella season takes a hit this weekend as the Agricultural and Mechanical Dudes from Texas defense are a bit to much. This may be a very close and low scoring game. (Sorry Dutch, I call um like I see um)
I say A&M by 6 

Nothing else to call this week. The big 10 is still beating up cupcakes and the rest I really have no interest in.

After just missing on both of my upsets calls last week Diogenes went 2-2, and 9-3 on the year so far. 


Bad Lip Reading: First Presidential Debate 2016

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

The Historical First The Media Refuses To Acknowledge

Op-ed
by Middle Finger News Service Janitor TIM:

Through all the noise of the media about scandals, who is and who isn't fit to be president and the first woman nominated....blah blah blah, there's one story that sadly for many in this great nation like me, goes unreported.

The highway of history is littered with TIMs kicked into the ditch. Throughout our lifetimes, we TIMs have repeatedly had to endure humiliation thanks to the misguided actions of a few bad apples sharing our name. Who are the first TIMs that come to mind? How about Dr. Timothy Leary, the hippie college professor and psychologist whose name is synonymous with LSD and the launch of the drug culture in America in the late sixties? Or perhaps you thought of Timothy McVeigh, notorious domestic terrorist. Even in the movies, when asked who was the WORST James Bond ever, everybody knows the correct answer: Timothy Dalton, of course.

There have been plenty of people with names like John, Robert, William, and James selected to run as Vice President – and a whole bunch of Dicks. There have even been VP candidates with obscure names like Chester, Rufus, and Hannibal. (Honest.) But until this year, there has never been a single person named TIM selected to be a presidential or vice presidential candidate.


The media won’t talk about this dirty little secret, but we TIM’s have been pushed around or ignored politically for the past 220 years. For too long, TIM’s have had to live with the cruel acceptance that our name was primarily associated with cripples and freaks — from the pitiful Tiny Tim in Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol to the grotesque long-haired oddball ukulele-playing singer who, using that same name, became embarrassingly famous for his falsetto rendition of Tiptoe Through the Tulips. 

Speaking of music, there are scores of memorable songs with people’s names for the title: Michele, by the Beatles, Abraham, Martin, and John, by Dion, or Barbara Ann by the Beach Boys. The list is endless. But have you ever heard of a song with TIM in the title? No, you haven’t. No, wait a minute. I stand corrected. There actually was ONE song with TIM in the title. Written in 1970, the song Timothy told the story of three men trapped in a collapsed mine, two of whom resorted to cannibalism against the third guy ..... that’s right, they ate Tim.

And I remember sitting on my dad’s lap as a young child, asking him, “Dad, do you think someday someone named TIM could ever grow up to be President of the United States?”.....to which he would usually say, “I’m sorry. Who are you?” When I would remind him I was his youngest son, he would pause and say, “A president named TIM? Seriously?” Then he’d laugh and laugh at such an inconceivable notion.

Oh sure, 2016 may be remembered by some as the year our nation finally elects a woman president. Tim Kaine may be a blathering idiot, but if you ask me, objectively speaking, the far bigger story is that this will be remembered as The Year of TIM – The year America finally puts someone named Tim in the White House.


*TIM is MFNS senior journeyman janitor and a keen observer of culture. He is a longtime resident of the YMCA and one of the nation's foremost collectors and experts on antique sports whistles. 


Monday, October 3, 2016

Hillary's Husband, Kinky Foot Massages and Penthouse Babes........

According to Journalist Edward Klein, Somethings Never Change.

via Fellowship of the Minds
Bill Clinton is 70, frail, reportedly has Parkinson’s disease, but still a horn dog. Journalist Edward Klein, author of the new book Guilty As Sin: Uncovering New Evidence of Corruption and How Hillary Clinton and the Democrats Derailed the FBI Investigation, writes for the New York Post, Oct. 2, 2016, that Bill Clinton has young female interns massage his feet in the secret “executive suite” of the William J. Clinton Presidential Library and Museum in Little Rock, Arkansas.
According to the New York Post, the top floor of the 153,779-square-foot presidential library is dominated by a 5,000-square-foot penthouse that is strictly off limits to the public.  The “executive suite,” as it is called in city records, was completed at the same time as the $165 million library in November 2004.

In interviews for Klein’s book, a “20-something intern” recalled:
"He often invites girls like me who work at the library to his apartment for a glass of red wine and a massage. He likes his neck and shoulders massaged because he gets knots in his muscles. But what he really likes is to have his feet massaged. He just kicks off his loafers and socks and puts his feet on the coffee table. That really makes him happy.
Bill is always flirting with the women at the library. He knows everybody by their first name and is incredibly kind and generous.
“Bill has a bunch of women he regularly invites to his apartment. Most of them are young and good looking. He loves being surrounded by pretty girls. The place is completely secure, so he knows there’s no chance any photographers can get in. I was there at one of his parties on a hot, steamy day. He served champagne and cold beer and handed out roses, which he grows on the terrace and which are named after his mother, Virginia Kelley. At one point, he got out a hose and sprayed some of the girls."
There is much, much more Here

A Good Monday Morning

Sunday, October 2, 2016

Chaos Reigns As BLM Protesters Are Killed In Freak Incident

MFNS -OAKLAND - Dozens of San Fransisco Bay Area protesters allied with the 'Black Lives Matter' movement, along with members of an opposing group called 'All Lives Matter', were killed Sunday in a freak astronomical incident. 

The BLM activists had gathered outside police headquarters to protest the shooting of a dark-skinned man in rural Afghanistan who allegedly did not drop his missile launcher when ordered to by Afghan police. The ALM activists showed up to counter the BLM group, and also to “defend all lives,” according to the chapter president's Facebook page.

However, their heated back-and-forth proved all for naught when a large flaming meteorite shot through the sky and slammed into the ground precisely where the protesters were hurling insults at each other and Police. The resultant explosion created shockwaves felt as far away as Palo Alto.  Passersby rushed to the crater, shouting abuse at the Police and accusing the Oakland Police Department of failing to protect citizens against falling celestial objects.

In an effort to calm the angry crowd, Bay Area geologist Stanley Lapide was brought in to shed the light of science on the bizarre occurrence, but instead he ended up inadvertently causing further disruption:
“The victims of this meteorite came here today to insist that their lives mattered. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but they were wrong. You could say that their lives mattered a little bit.”
"The victims were vaporized, some molecules from their bodies drifted upwards and have been sucked into a jet stream. According to calculations I’ve just done in my head, that would yield a .00002 percent chance that they will affect the weather in some very imperceptible way, perhaps by adding a few drops of water to a light drizzle over some remote stretch of the Atlantic Ocean.”
So, do black, white, or any lives matter he asked? He then suddenly stiffened and fell to the ground after being tasered by police who mistook him as a member of BLM. The esteemed professor was whisked away by ambulance. 

By that time, news of the unprovoked tazing had spread via Twitter with the hashtag #geolivesmatter, and dozens of faculty members from UC Berkeley’s Earth and Planetary Sciences Department showed up with signs reading “Geo Science Lives Matter” and “I’m Giving A Free Public Science Lecture, Bro, Don’t Taze Me.”

Later, when an armored police swat van accidentally backed over several of the scientists, the rookie officer who had only joined the force the day before and had forgotten to put on his glasses that morning was yanked out of his vehicle and beaten by a group of angry Stanford geophysicists who had just arrived by bus.  

Saturday, October 1, 2016

Middle Finger Symphony Theater

* No Tuxedos Required *



Brought to you by BluesJunky: Honorary Chair of Music - Middle Finger Symphony Music Director 

Tiger vs Tiger

If you had told me 4 weeks ago that Texas A&M would be sitting atop the SEC west, Les Miles would be eating cheetos and watching the LSU Tigers play on TV, and my car would be stolen, I would have gently put my arm around you and suggest you see a mental health expert. But, so it is in week 5 of college football.

The LSU Tigers are now in the capable hands of interim coach Ed Orgeron. Coach O' has been here before, successfully taking over at USC and cleaning up the mess left by HC Lane Kiffen. Coach O' has been an active recruiter in the past and well liked Tiger's D line coach. A full blooded Cajun from South Louisiana and a Tiger all the way to the bone, he has the utmost respect from present and former Tigers players, and is said to be the kinda guy they would run through a wall for. 

In Baton Rouge, it a new game, and a new season.


This week, LSU welcomes for the first time to Tiger Stadium the SEC East 2-2 Missouri Tigers. The teams have only met once, in the 1978 Liberty Bowl.  Muzzou comes in with one of the SEC's most productive offense, hanging over 500 yds. per game on opponents. They play a hurry-up offense and have put up a lot of points, and their QB leads the SEC in passing yardage. But to date haven't played a pass rush like LSU, or had to defend against the likes of the 'Headhunter' Arden Key, who leads the nation in QB sacks.  

This should be a good game and barometer to tell how good the Mizzou offense really is, and just how much the few changes Coach O' has made are effective. I for one would not want to be a Mizzou Tiger coming into an invigorated and sold out Death Valley at this particular point in time.  
I say LSU by 10+ 



This Weeks Predictions: 

My girlie intuition parts are tingling this week:

#11 Tennessee v #25 Georgia 
Okay, the Vols acted like they won the Super Bowl last week. Now they are ripe for an upset. Besides, they wear orange. I hate orange! Orange doesn't belong on football uniforms. Orange belongs on Pumpkins. 
Upset - Georgia by 6  They had it and let it slip away! 

#8  Wisconsin v #4 Michigan
The Badgers are battle tested while the Wolverines have been beating up cupcakes.
Jim Harbaugh cries in his beer Saturday night.
Upset- Badgers by 7  Close but no cigar! 

#1 Alabama v Kentucky
A case of explosive diarrhea strikes the entire Crimson Tide team Saturday morning. To prevent a forfeit, the support staff, cheerleaders and entire coaching staff dresses out. Nick Saban completes 10 of 16 passes for 102 yds but is still short.....
Crimson Tide by 40+ 

Since Diogenes didn't make any calls last week, she remains 7-1 for the year so far.