A Special Middle Finger News Investigative Report

Breaking – Exclusive MFNS Special Report On The Possible Connection Between American Airlines Small But Cocky Customer Service Berserker And His/Her Alleged Modeling For Adult Themed Gag Products That Shame Those Who Are Short, Fat, Bald-Headed And Practically Dickless.

Read the entire shocking report HERE, and related story HERE. 

NOTE: The Editor denies any involvement in a bawdy, ladies-only celebration of impending nuptials. *cough *

Sarcasm: A Higher Calling.

Because of the nature of my business, its been “overnight” for a couple of days now, (get your minds out of the gutter!) and my inner clock is totally broken, so I've been thinkin' about all of the great comments, and responses to those comments, posted here at DMF in response to my posts. I've come realized that one of our greatest common denominators is our shared sarcasm. Sarcasm often gets a bad rap because many people confuse it with its psychotic cousin, Cynicism. But we can all be proud a recent lengthy and in-depth scientific study has finally restored sarcasm to its rightful place as a higher calling.

If you prefer to stay away from the sarcastic souls, if sarcasm is a ‘Term’ you underestimate by tagging as lowest form of wit, if sarcastic conversations appear to you as mere ‘insult or criticism’, you literally need to polish your knowledge. Columbia University, Harvard University and INSEAD Business School worked on the decision making abilities of the people and the organizational behavior expressed by them showed that sarcasm can be linked to the words like ‘creativity’, ‘intelligence’ and ‘smartness’.

Sarcasm is an art to state or comment something which is intended to convey a veiled meaning. An amalgam of humor, wits, sensibility, understanding of the other person’s mentality, coordination between the abstract hidden idea and the uttered words in order to filter out and grasp the sarcasm are all the traits to define a smart person. If you possess the genes of sarcasm, for sure you have traits that are better than the majority in the world. The Sarcastic Souls stand out in the crowd.

Here are a few of their findings:

They create a positive influence on their friend circle– staying with sarcastic people benefits you passively. It demands you to put an extra ounce of pressure on your brain in order to grasp their jokes and comprehend their thought process and pull out the irony of it. So search for a sarcastic friend as hanging out with them would add point in your favor.

They know the art of creating balance between mild insult and fun– conversation with a sarcastic person can leave you awestruck. The art of playing with words is what let them win the game every time. At the instance you would be laughing at your own insult. Sounds disgusting! Isn’t it? But the credit goes to the charm with which they convey the double meaning expression.

They possess a healthy brain– the research by University of California, San Francisco on the brain stimulus say that people who are bad at picking sarcasm signifies a damaged brain. Hence it gives another point to rejoice for the ones who cannot resist from passing on sarcasm-full remarks.

They don’t pretend to be the vulnerable beings on this planet– even if you would attempt to counter back with sarcasm; they won’t let themselves be your victim. Bearer of a strong heart as well as a strong mind is their character trait. Anger and jealousy can never overpower their sarcastic skills.

They are encyclopedia of solutions– without any sort of hesitation; you can make an entire list of those weird problems that demand an extraordinary solution. These sarcastic friends will juggle up the box of creative solution to find the best one for you. Creativity is synonymous to them after all. Spontaneity is a well spotted trait in them– these jerks of your life are actually very smart and instant thinkers. It takes nanosecond for their brain to pop-up the wittiest response.

They are the mind readers– sarcastic people are damn good at analyzing people’s mentality and though process. A psychologist at the university of Haifa correlates sarcasm and ability to understand others emotional state of mind. You need to be cautious as these super power possessors can pick up your weakness and trigger your emotions.

They are excellent abstract thinkers– frequent encounters with sarcastic ideologies give them chance to expand their bandwidth. In order to extract the meaning from the sarcasm they work-up their brains. Creativity if ignited at this particular moment.

Now, take a moment and let your friends know, with the backing of solid world-wide scientific research, just how fantastically smart, snarky and sarcastic you are. Bragging a bit won’t be wrong in this case.

*Excerpts reprinted with permission of "The Minds Journal" *

Homie, You Should Really Leave This Middle Finger Stuff to Diogenes!

Thank You MJA for the Linkage!

Middle Finger Symphony Theater

* No Tuxedos Required *

Brought to you by BLUESJUNKY - Honorary Chair of Music - Middle Finger Symphony Music Director

Fearless Girl Takes Her Icy Stare on the Road

Confederacy of Drones:

"Fearless Girl has gotten a little cocky since she stood up to the Wall Street bull, that symbol of financial optimism and prosperity. So brash in fact that she’s graduated from turning this bull into a steer and now takes her intimidation on the road. Her search for other icons that she can threaten with her icy stare and bravado is taking her on a world-wide excursion. We’ve captured the best moments in this photo essay as FG traveled the globe." 

SEE MORE HERE

Your Obligatory Earth Day Nonsense Post

NYT - "When Jada Shapiro decided to raise her daughter from birth without diapers, for the most part, not everyone was amused. Ms. Shapiro scattered little bowls around the house to catch her daughter’s offerings, and her sister insisted that she use a big, dark marker to mark the bowls so that they could never find their way back to the kitchen. “My sister wasn’t a huge fan,” she said.

But “elimination communication,” as the diaper-free method of child-rearing is called, is finding an audience in the hipper precincts of New York City.

Ms. Shapiro, who is a doula, a birth and child-rearing coach, says it is practically now a job qualification to at least be able to offer diaper-free training as an option to clients.

Caribou Baby, an “eco-friendly maternity, baby and lifestyle store” on the border of artsy Greenpoint and Williamsburg, has been drawing capacity crowds to its diaper-free “Meetups,” where parents exchange tips like how to get a baby to urinate on the street between parked cars. Parents are drawn to the method as a way of preserving the environment from the ravages of disposable diapers, as well as reducing the laundering of cloth diapers and preventing diaper rash.

Many of them like the thought that they are rediscovering an ancient practice used in other cultures, though they tend to gloss over the fact that many of those cultures had never heard of Pampers...."

Note the obligatory reference to “an ancient practice used in other cultures”. It must be better then! Next up, human sacrifice.

Thank You Adrienne for the Linkage!

Okay White People, Knock It Off Why Doncha!

Self Loathing Lefties Eat Their Own: Earth Day Is Just Too White

An in article by Emily Atkin, published yesterday in the lefty rag New Republic titled, “Earth Day Is Too White and Out of Touch With Reality,” she argues that Earth Day is a hollow celebration that doesn't properly address the concerns of minorities. Seems Earth Day focuses too much on making white people feel good about recycling and driving Pruises,” rather than, “helping those suffering from injustice.”

The bizarre article refers to indigenous peoples as the “original guardians of the earth.” There was also a concern about the “white supremacist roots” of the environmental movement, such as the involvement of “anti-immigration” groups like Federation for American Immigration Reform and NumbersUSA.

"The first Earth Day marked the environmental movement’s break from its white supremacist roots. Last month, on the occasion of the Sierra Club’s 125th anniversary, Mair wrote, “Few Sierrans realize that race, population eugenics, and ‘natural order’ were critical features and values of our founders and naturalist societies of the late 19th and 20th centuries, which largely blamed environmental degradation on developing and non-European populations. "Owning that history is a critical piece of changing history.”  

"But echoes remain of the environmental movement’s ugly history. Anti-immigration groups Federation for American Immigration Reform (FAIR) and NumbersUSA, for example, have played a “major role” at Earth Day events. Their argument is that strict immigration policies prevent overpopulation, and thus reduce stress on the environment. The next step: increasing diversity among event organizers, which is no small feat given that the membership and leadership of the major environmental groups is disproportionately white and middle class."

So, you white devils, you need to stop hogging this sacred day as a feel-good exercise for well-off liberals.  Frankly I don't see much interest in Oakland, Chicago or Baltimore, nor by immigrants, legal or illegal, in your damn tree hugging. They have a few other things to worry about.  But I do suggest, in the spirit of Earth Day, you guys dig yourself a hole, jump in and beat yourself into organic compost. But before you do, be sure and hug tree, and an oppressed minority.

(New Republic)                                Thank You MJA for the Linkage!
(Beth Rogers)

Fishnet Friday

Millennials Love Them Some Maxine

Yes, the far left, in particular the self-loathing white Millennials and the black Obama Lo-Fo voters are in love with Maxy's and her anti Trump Tirades lately. The woman who's brain works at a cartoon level and regularly trips on her own tits, and gives famously rambling semi-coherent speeches on the floor of the House is enjoying her notoriety and day in the sun for going full-bore gung-ho crazy on the president. 

"In the throes of a terminal case of “Trump Derangement Syndrome,” the California congresswoman told a Tax March crowd in front of the U.S. Capitol that President Trump and Russia’s Vladimir Putin somehow conspired to arrange both the chemical event that killed dozens in northern Syria and the U.S. missile strike on a Syrian military airfield that followed."

 
Last week, she told the Los Angeles Press Club, “I want this president impeached.” She spent the weekend leading a crowd of activists in an “Impeach 45!” chant. But Tuesday at Ground Zero for Crazy, MSNBC, she insisted, “I have not called for impeachment.”

She’s every bit the over-the-top lefty she’s been for decades who continues to be reelected from a district with the the highest school drop out rate in California. She's winning the media and far left's praise by calling for Trump’s impeachment for something she can't prove, or have even a bit of evidence. But what the hey, who needs facts these days anyway?

(Baton Rouge Advocate)
(Crazy Cousin Olivia)

Joe Biden Plans Vice Presidential Library

Biden Takes Part-time Job to Help Raise Funds for New V.P. Library

Middle Finger News Service Wire:

MFNS - Wilmington Del.- Sources close to Joe Biden told MFNS the former VP has decided to build his own Vice Presidential Library in his longtime home District in Delaware. The source told us supporters of Biden convinced him of the need of on honor, he being the historic 2 term VP of the first black President of the United States, and as Biden himself likes to say, "The Cream in the Coffee of the Obama Administration."

The initial plans for the library are said to include a Bidenesque design of three wings. One showcasing his early life and lengthy time in the Senate, another housing pictures and mementos of his two terms as Vice President and another holding his personal notes and the many initiatives and ideas brutely shot down by the President. 

The building is planned to also feature a gift shop, 51 Political Correct Gender Specific Restrooms, an indoor Super-Soaker Tactical Training Course and a Starbucks.

The project is said to be funded totally with moneys raised by private contributions. The FOB's (Friends of Biden) last month started a Go-Fund-Me page to raise money for the project. The target is $5.5 million. As of this writing the fund has so far raised $12.17.

In the meantime Biden has gone to work for 'Turd Burglar Waste Disposal' to help in the financing of the project. 

Biden leads the members of the Congressional Black Caucus in a
Chorus of 'Movin' on Up'

Nullifying Obama's Plot to Forcefully “Diversify” Your Neighborhood

Many took Barack Obama's threat to "Fundamentally Transform America" as a bit of a joke. That was a mistake. It's one of the few things he didn't lie about. The way I understand the American Dream, is in part getting an education, working to make good living, buying a home and raising a family in a safe neighborhood of your choice. But he had other ideas for America.

New American - The Obama administration's race-obsessed decree, known as the “Affirmatively Furthering Fair Housing” (AFFH) rule, became a lightning rod for criticism by conservatives and constitutionalists last year. A coalition of Republican lawmakers, facing outrage among their constituents, tried to defund the unconstitutional scheme while Obama was still in office. However, establishment Republicans quietly worked behind the scenes to betray conservatives by supporting Obama's radical power grab and handing even more tax money to Obama's Department of Housing and Urban Development to transform and “diversify” American neighborhoods.

Legislation has now been introduced in Congress to defund and overturn a controversial Obama administration decree. The new bill would also reverse the attempted unconstitutional usurpation of power over local zoning decisions by the federal government and the unelected regional authorities charged with managing the transformation. And the measure would end a “geospatial database” mandated under the scheme to track the racial and income composition of each area, a key element of the scheme to redistribute people based on their melanin content and earnings. 

The AFFH would indeed fundamentally transform America, down to the most minute local decisions.And of course, by redistributing people across America using federal funds, and hijacking control over local zoning decisions, the Obama scheme would also fundamentally transform politics by diluting the conservative vote in communities across the country. Similar schemes are being pushed at the global level by the United Nations. Under the expansive regulations, cities and towns that accept federal money from the HUD would be required to submit to vast federal controls over their policy decisions.

For instance, if a community receives an HUD grant, the AFFH purports to mandate costly demographic analyses at the local and regional level to determine whether there are enough low-income and minority residents. If the HUD determines that not enough welfare recipients live in your neighborhood, for instance, the bureaucracy would declare your community to be “out of balance” and not in compliance with the AFFH. In response, the massive bureaucracy would use taxpayer funds — or borrowed money, considering the $20 trillion and counting in national debt — to file lawsuits against the community and impose its will. That might take the form of building more government-subsidized low-income housing in your neighborhood to attract enough welfare recipients to put your community back in balance.

In fact, HUD has been involved in such scheming for years, with targeted communities going up against the might of Uncle Sam. In Westchester County, New York, the Obama administration went to war with the community and its elected officials because they did not have enough low-income, high-density housing developments to satisfy federal bureaucrats. When local officials and residents fought back, the administration sued them, and even went so far as to seek a gag order against the county executive who was leading the fight against Obama's AFFH.

In short, it's Obama's Marxist Social Engineering by the federal government on a massive scale.

Much More Here

Dems Already Trying to Diddle With Georgia Special Election

With a slim glitter of hope they can pull a 50% vote and avoid a runoff for the Georgia Special Election, the Dems have pulled out the stops. Election officials are hoping to keep two polling places open later than the 7 PM closing time after computer errors at two precincts and late poll workers caused some voting problems in Georgia’s US House special election.

According to The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Richard Barron, the director of elections and registration for Fulton County, said they are trying to extend voting hours for Centennial High School in Roswell and the Johns Creek Environmental Campus. 
These are heavily Democrat precincts who went for Clinton 91% in the last election. If local officials can get the judge to squeeze them in, they want to keep the Centennial High School polling place open until 7:35 PM, and the Johns Creek polling place open until 7:55 PM ET.

Computer errors and late poll workers happen all the time. Rarely do they go gab a judge and ask to extend hours except in extreme cases of malfunctioning voting machines or power outages. But this is an election the dems, if their goofy looking pencil necked candidate wins, will be heralded as the beginning of the end of the Trump tide. I can just see the headlines now: Dems begin Long March Back To Save America! ..... Trump Receives Biggest Blow of Administration So Far! .....Trump Repudiated!..... Real Americans Start Take Back of The Country! 

The News Media spin will be Epic!

A Note to Readers of DMF

You may or may not have noticed we changed domains from 'blogspot' to '.com' last week. We would very much appreciate all who have us Bookmarked, Blog Rolled or have us on a Feed to please update the link and point it to the new address to avoid going through the redirect.  If the old address fails to redirect your link you will get a "404 page-not-found" error.

If so, you risk the unpleasantness of Lena Dunham showing up on your screens............in various stages of undress..............and we wouldn't want that, now would we?? 
- Thanks, The Management

A Good Monday Morning

A Little Late Night Blues