Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Eating Your Daily Gruel In London Might Just Get You a Trip to the Dungeon.


In our continuing attempt here at DMF to keep you abreast of the latest news in the annals of the decline of Western Civilization, we take you to the seat of the once great British Empire, London England, which is not so great anymore. The people who once tried to take away our guns sheepishly gave up their own, and who now get thrown in jail for Facebook post.

This comes to us from our friend Brian Anderson @ Def Con News:
Here in America we worry about democrats trying to take away our 2nd Amendment right to keep and bear arms. Over in England, Royal subjects are not allowed to have guns so Brits run around stabbing each other, which prompted the government to take away knife ownership rights. Naturally British thugs have to move on to carrying something else lethal.  From the Regents Park Police Tweeter:
"Yesterday we conducted weapons sweeps,dealt with a person injured from a van reversing on them, reported a burglary and collected all these from @scope charity shop who diligently didn’t want them to get into the wrong hands & disposed of correctly & safely"

As you can see in the photo (click image to biggify), the Regents Park police (London) confiscated a bunch of cutlery and one of those wieney fencing swords. It’s also hard to miss the 3 pot roast forks as well as a rusty spoon. Wait. A rusty spoon?

This is the picture the Regents Park police have on their Twitter page, so maybe this all makes sense:


In the annals of crime fighting, bragging about taking a rusty spoon off the streets qualifies as the most pathetic law enforcement action ever. British thugs started using knives to victimize people. The natural reaction was to ban knives because without knives assholes have no way of hurting other people.  Criminals found and exploited a loophole and apparently started using hammers and so UK police asked citizens to report anyone buying tools in a hardware store. I’m not even kidding about this.

With guns, knives, and hammers all banned, those crafty bad guys figured out how deadly spoons are and now the British police are confiscating those.  It’s just a matter of time before criminals in the UK start using cheese graters and melon-ballers to infect untold carnage. Rest assured the cops will meet that threat head on.

Let’s use this hilarious thing as a reminder of how great it was for our Founding Fathers to kick the crap out of the British and establish our wonderfully free country. We don’t even have a Constitutional amendment protecting our spoon ownership rights and yet we still have all the damn spoons we want. That’s what liberty is all about

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Senator Lizzy Tells Fox Where They Can Stick Their Town Hall


The floundering leaderless Democrats are still milling about like ants whose hill was stomped on by voters in 2016, and Senator Lizzy Warren has angrily posited that she will not lower herself, nor allow the largest cable news audience in the country a chance to swoon, together, at her professorsplaining her views and making it so easy for all of us to understand. She tweeted:
“I love town halls. I’ve done more than 70 since January, and I’m glad to have a television audience be a part of them. Fox News has invited me to do a town hall, but I’m turning them down—here’s why. Fox News is a hate-for-profit racket that gives a megaphone to racists and conspiracists—it’s designed to turn us against each other, risking life & death consequences, to provide cover for the corruption that’s rotting our government and hollowing out our middle class.”
I guess Lizzy hadn't heard of Bernie Sander's Fox town hall in Pennsylvania, which was a rousing ratings success and an opportunity to showcase how some of his staple commie issues like Medicare for All resonated with an audience in a state that help DJT over the top 2016.  Following Sanders TH, a number of  Dems are eager for their own hour of free air time and are in talks with the network about doing their own town halls. But Lizzy, Oh Hell No!

Not that a known liar spouting  failed radical liberal policies of  warmed over mutation of Barack Obama and the new far left that appeal to lily-white Democrats who consider themselves experts on knowing how poor people should run their lives would fly very well with a fox audience.

As far as calling Fox as a "megaphone to racists and conspiracists", I guess Lizzy can't get the the wall to wall 24/7 nutcase anti- Trump CNN programming (except when airplanes disappear) that includes the almost nightly pontificating of a panel of gay or black bigots spewing hateful nonsense, presided over by the dumbest man in cable news, Don Lemon.

But on second though, after Lizzy's last televised town hall where she waved her arms about and rattled on sounding like a back-alley bag lady on meth, she may just be too embarrassed ......

Monday, May 13, 2019

Oh Yeah, NOW I'm Convinced

Everyone's favorite caricature of their slightly mentally disturbed Middle School General Science Teacher, Bill Nye the Science Guy. 

Caution: Strong Language

The rhetoric on environmental issues from the Left is as astounding as it is dishonest. When you hear the statements about how close we are to the brink of no return with global warming, ever hear them speak about stopping countries like China and India from pushing us over this supposed brink?

(Liz Wheeler Tweeter Box)

~ Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS & MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage! ~

A Good Monday Morning

Saturday, May 11, 2019

Jeff Bezos Addresses Rumors of POTUS Aspirations



MFNS Jeff Bezos, the creepy looking Amazon founder and CEO,  held a hastily called press conference in front of the 100-foot polished brass plated blast-proof doors guarding the entrance to his underground headquarters at the base of Mount Rainier. He called reporters together to address recent rumors and make clear that he has “No illusion or aspiration for the office of president of the United States.” Reporters in attendance struggled to hear Bezos over the din of endless dodecacopter drones whisking heavy machinery into the subterranean factory/AI hive/research facility.

Bezos explained that a step down from his current position to the office of POTUS would be a mistake on par with “having a Facebook account in this day and age,” but left open the idea of a lateral move. 
“I would certainly entertain taking a position of comparable importance and meaning… something along the lines of Prime Minister of Earth.”
When asked if he meant “earn” or “seek” such a position, Bezos answered in his normal, matter of factly manner,
No, I said take the position. That’s what I meant.” 
Bezos, who some quietly whisper is not of this earth, recently claimed the title of Richest Man on the Planet, which press kits point out is actually “Richest being in the solar system, and known universe.” And since his acquisition of Whole Foods Co. and the Washington Post Inc., Bezos has made major inroads into future control of the worlds food supply as well as the dissemination of truth and information.

When asked by REDACTED, correspondent for REDACTED, if the recent unveiling of his cardboard Blue Moon Lander was “just some dumb Amazon dot com publicity stunt,” REDACTED was quickly whisked away by Amazon robotic security and disappeared, and any trace of him erased from history. To confirm this, we searched online archives for any mention of REDACTED or his work at REDACTED and found no results.

The wealthiest creature in the Galaxy has more important things to do besides being your President, like sucking the precious bodily fluid outa the Moon.

Friday, May 10, 2019

Middle Finger Symphony Theater

~ NO TUXEDOS REQUIRED ~

Brought To You By BLUESJUNKY: Chair of Music - Middle Finger Symphony Music Director

~ Thank You MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage! ~

Yes, Everything You Know Is Wrong.

 Social media, and the internet have helped to foster a cult of ignorance. 

We are witnessing an incredible accelerating wave of anti-rationalism and emotion over reason in public debate, and blurring of lines among fact and opinion and lies. Today, everyone knows everything. Today, it is absolutely true that all voices, even the most ridiculous are demanding to not only be heard but to be taken seriously, to be given equal seriousness to every other voice, regardless of the disparity in educational achievement. And attempts to verify or qualify the credibility of a person or group of people claiming to know things, are dismissed as hate-speech and/or fascism.

Tom Nichols, author of 'The Death of Expertise' has this to say:
"the increasingly democratic dissemination of information, rather than producing an educated public, has instead created an army of ill-informed and angry citizens who denounce intellectual achievement."
We're seeing this everywhere. On college campuses, in political campaigns, in debates on cable news masquerading as journalism, where twenty-something “Experts” pontificate about subjects they know little about.  And it’s not only the death of expertise, as explained by Nichols, it is also the death of reasoned debate, and, ironically, it is the death of tolerance.

We are told we only have 12 years left until the world ends from climate change…if you disagree you are a climate denier.  We need to break our addiction to fossil fuels or our coastal cities will end up under water…if you disagree you are anti-science.  

If you oppose abortion you hate women and obviously want to rule over them....If you oppose higher taxes you’re anti-government and want potholes, dirty air, and anarchy....If you support a secure border you’re not only xenophobic, you hate brown people.....If you are against Socialism you know nothing about Sweden and of course, you hate poor people… If you support Capitalism, you’re obviously against the environment and hate poor people.…

If you wear a “Make America Great Again” hat, you hate blacks, women, Mexican, gays and you want to bring back Jim Crow, back-alley abortions, and slavery….If you support DJT you are a sexist, bigot and a fascist who hates democracy and the rule of law… If you oppose gender-neutral bathrooms, you clearly hate transgender people…etc, etc,etc.

Remember, everything is right until it’s wrong. Believe me. You can take it to the bank......

Wednesday, May 8, 2019

No Kamala, You're Not a Victim. You're Just An Extremely Unlikable Person.


According to Sen. Kamala Harris, it’s no coincidence that the top three Democrats leading in 2020 Democrat primary polls are white guys.  According to her, it’s the result of biased media pundits shaping black folks views with discussions on who is electable in today's america.  In her case, I'm sure her lack of perceived electablity has nothing to do with the Creepy Voodoo Witch persona she sometimes projects.

Speaking to the folks at the NAACP’s Fight for Freedom Dinner in the democrat run paradise of Detroit, the 2020 contender pathetically whined about her lack of popularity, saying that the media’s discussions about “electability” are leading minorities to believe that only a white man can defeat Donald Trump.  I don't know, kinda sounds like Kamala is calling black folks stupid and can't think for themselves. According to The Washington Post, her message to her predominantly black audience was to “stop believing the pundits’ take and get behind the candidates you align with personally.  Or, can't you see I'm black and a women dammit!

Unfortunately for Kamala, in the most recent Quinnipiac survey, only 2 percent of voters think she can beat Trump.  The number is the same when "controlled for voters of color."  The angry black woman in Manolo Blahnik shoes act is not playing well in middle America, black or white.  Even Harris’s fellow California lawmaker, Sen. Di Feinstein, has reportedly abandoned her in favor of white guy Joe. Feinstein confirmed Tuesday that because she’s known Biden for 20 years, she intends to vote for him.

Sorry Kamala, but America is not the slobbering leftist women at the table on 'The View' ya know.  Maybe it just hasn't hit her yet that most American people don’t care for her proposed commie policies, taking away the American's health care provider choices, guns and wealth.  Or maybe even democrats now realizes what they did to the county by reelecting Barack Obama.  We are paying dearly for it culturally now.

(BizPac)
(WaPo)
  ~ Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS  & MJA@IOTWReport for the linkage! ~