Middle Finger Symphony Sunday Matinee

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H.P. Lovecraft Writes Olive Garden Dinner Menu 😎

Fried Calamari 

Tendrils crusted in grit assail my palate. Begotten of the sea, yet containing the essence of a carnival. Fried and without end. At once I feel refined and base, but melancholy grips me when I spy the dressings within which this dismembered cephalopod is to dip. A mixture resembling coagulated plasma, and the other… spicy milk? A crème, surprisingly smooth but savory. This contradictory breach of decorum and smattering of flavors inspires terror within my heart of hearts. Hope absconds from this place

Lasagna Classico

If I survive, I will never shake the unmitigated horror. The layers: slick, flesh-colored slices… of what? I am forever unsure. Tiers of bloody stripes, as my tears soon will be. Madness controls my mouth as forkfuls of stodgy substance and sludge slide down my esophagus. Death seems certain.

Giant Cheese-Stuffed Shells

Nautilus shapes—mere facades—taunt me, oozing a nutty concoction so vile. Are they large? Or small? My eyes refuse to betray their size. The carapaces dwarf me with garnishes crunchy and uncouth. They are evil unclothed and glutted with the curdled maiden milk of many.

Chicken Parmigiana

I am filled with fear. Pullet flesh, seared to white, cast like bronze within a crunchy coat. But no, that alone is not enough—this floundering mass of tender meat slides around in a cardinal slurry alongside glutinous tentacles too many to enumerate; such that they confound the senses and simultaneously seduce my bravery to dread. I am left muttering to myself a mantra of origin unknown, “When you’re here… when you’re here… you are… family?”

Cheese Ravioli

A homogeneity characterized its flaxen cast. Bubbling sacks of slime upon a platter scorching. Beware! Doused in the pureed remains of a dozen orbic fruits, I feel my breath quicken and hands tremble as I pen its likeness as well as I might. My own mind conspires against me when presented with this frightful entrée. To dine? Or will my own visage mirror its sickly jaundice? I have touched with too much haste the vessel of Hades, a burn be my meal.

The Tour of Italy

A terse presentation of memories, three to be precise. A chicken, but unclucking. A plate of worms, wriggling in saucy terror. And then, horror unbounded, a cube of entombed layers coated in a crimson, comestible smear. Dreams fleeting and reborn, of monoliths—Pisa—floating mid-air and dripping gruel. A gurgling voice emerged from the deep, a chaos that did not speak a mortal tongue, a promise emitted: “Unlimahtated brrrrurdstihks!”

Tiramisu

Sweet, subtle, and bitter all at once upon my lips. My throat tightens at the sensation, “Surely this is erroneous?” I quake. How can a concoction both allure and despair me with such synchronicity? My stomach churns against the lactose as enzymes fret, a jolt of vitality causes my lethargy to flee, from where? A caffeinated cause? Though on the surface a horrid delight, my lugubrious nature holds firm. I shall surely die.

Red Blend Porta Vita

Swirling currents of terrible Burgundy press a cloud down upon me, a fog beyond comprehension that ever muddles and befuddles my cogitation. I am unlaced after a mere cup, uncorked after a bottle. Life swims before me though I stand on dry land—or so I thought! The abyss beckons to me and I am like to answer. Notes of tree bark.

Middle Finger Symphony Theater

~ NO TUXEDOS REQUIRED ~

Brought To You By BLUESJUNKY: Middle Finger Symphony Music Chair of Music

Biden's Latest Performative Act for Media Consumption

This evening 46* announced that all employers with over 100 employees (except for select federal workforces of course) will be required to vaccinate their employees or administer weekly COVID tests to those who can’t or won’t get the jab. This is not good news at the Chateau de Sarcastica:

Guess I'm going to have to fire one of my house staff to get under a 100. Damn, he was such a good bartender too.

— Diogenes Sarcastica (@DSarcastica) September 9, 2021

He might as well have mandated all Americans to grow wings and fly because this executive order is about as legal as murder. Joe Biden does not have the constitutional authority to require businesses to do anything. The announcement is a performative act and nothing more, but that said, the reason behind the performance is an attempt at furthering a narrative Democrats will be able to utilize from here till the midterms.

This action is destined for the Supreme Court and Democrats want to be able to have the court shoot it down so they can say it’s become so partisan that it’s willing to allow Americans to die. This, of course, is complete nonsense but many Americans will watch and believe a Pelosi press conference before they take one look at the text of a Supreme Court ruling. Democrats will say the court is filthy with partisanship and may reawaken the case for court-packing. A purely conservative court is a “scary” prospect and will energize Democrats. It’s a narrative that will become useful when it comes time to cast votes.

In a perfect world, the press would call its constitutionality into question and experts would deem it the insane ramblings of a man who belongs to a statist party, but that’s not what’s going to happen. They’ll continue to carry the water for democrats and to ring every alarm bell about how Texas is interfering with an individual’s right to choose on abortion while shouting from every working speaker that every business should be forced to vaccinate employees, even if against their will.

Biden's dictatorial mandate will fail constitutionality, but it will serve its true purpose, and that’s to convince the gullible that they need to fight against a fabled Republican death cult.

[RedState]

[RCP]

~ Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS & MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage! ~
 

Former Retail Giants Now Part of Afghan Government

Susan Rice: We Can Prove Bergdahl Swap Was a Success

From the DMF Archive March 2015: 

MFNS - On this weekends Sunday TV political gabfest, Susan Rice will once again take to the airwaves to defend the Obama administrations decision to release the Gitmo 5 and prove the success of the swap of army deserter Bowe Bergdahl for the five terrorist held at Guantanamo Bay. Fear arose by some that the notorious terrorist would rejoin jihad and continue to make trouble.

But Rice is set show the 5 men, with a generous grant from the US State Department (a forerunner of their Jobs For Jihadist program idea) are a shining example of the success of the Obama State Dept and their compassionate foreign policy toward Muslims. Rice says the 5 have given up their jihadists ways and adopted full tilt American style entrepreneur capitalism.

MFNS has acquired an advance copy of her talking points and a sponsorship graphic taken from one of the Middle East television's most popular shows, 'Late Night with Mahmoud'.

The White House has express hope the 5 would come one day to this country at conduct seminars on successful entrepreneurship in depressed areas, like Detroit and D.C.

Sanity Returns to Governance. Left Hardest Hit.

Election integrity is now LAW in Texas.

This law:
▪️ Ensures every eligible voter gets to vote
▪️ Adds more hours to vote
▪️ Makes it harder for fraudulent votes to be cast
▪️ Makes ballot harvesting a 3rd degree felony

Bottom line: it's easier to vote & harder to cheat. pic.twitter.com/p9IDQg95IK

— Greg Abbott (@GregAbbott_TX) September 7, 2021

MY GOD!! It's like Jim Crow all over again!

Just When You Thought The Left's Ideas Couldn't Get Any Crazier, In Walks Elie Mystal

Just as sure as leaves fall in an autumn breeze, when democrats get butthurt, the crazies start jumping out of the trees. And speaking of crazies, the soft skulls at the Daily Beast tells us one of the craziest of the left, Elie Mystal, has come up with a dandy resolution to thwart the Texas abortion ban: 'Abortion Trucks'.

For those not familiar with Mystal, he's now the wild haired editor-at-large at the commie rag "The Nation" who was once kicked off MSNBC for being too crazy even for them for awhile. But since George Floyd,  the network has gone full tilt grievance industry approved, Elie is allowed once again to spew his venom and pontificate about the dangers of Whiteness.

Mystal explained to host Molly Jong-Fast on the latest episode of the Daily Beast's 'The New Abnormal' podcast that the 46* could whip out his pen and actually order mobile abortion units to Texas to circumvent the new law.

Like Ice Cream trucks, but for killing babies.

“If Joe Biden via executive order established, let’s call it a federal privacy commission, and hired a bunch of doctors and empowered them to drive throughout the country in a truck or a van enforcing privacy rights, guess what? They’d be federal officials performing their duties and thus, through qualified immunity, immune from private civil actions.....”

Of course, there is the little matter of the Hyde Amendment, which blocks federal funds from being used to provide abortions except to save a woman’s life. That’s why, Mystal says real protection for rights to kill the unborn would have to come from court-packing—because the Supreme Court and the judges in the 5th Circuit who enabled this law to go forward are batshit “crazy” in his words. And So the Circus Continues.......

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Middle Finger Symphony Theater

~ NO TUXEDOS REQUIRED ~

Brought To You By BLUESJUNKY: Middle Finger Symphony Music Chair of Music