President Pinball: Inept and Incompetent

by Robert Janicki

Pinball is a completely reactionary endeavor. The player, in order to win at some level, must rapidly react to constantly changing events on each and every pinball played, until it no longer is in play.  Unfortunately, our Pinball President doesn't have the necessary skill set to react in a timely fashion to the many changing real world circumstances, which seemingly appear everyday, whether they are on the domestic scene or across the globe in our foreign relations policy challenges.  Unfortunately for America and the world, President Pinball has not been up to meet these wide ranging challenges.

What's worse is that President Pinball's dithering reduces the options available to him.  In a rapidly changing environment, time is of the essence.  Dithering and delaying in hopes of a situation resolving itself, is simply a recipe for disaster.  It's like the hope in "Hope and Change".  Hope is not and never has been a strategy for success in anything.  America's enemies do not wait for a response from President Pinball.  They have a strategic action vision and plan before them with various operational tactical plans to immediately initiate depending upon the circumstances that present themselves.

As has been alluded to in the past, President Pinball is playing checkers while our enemies are playing chess.  It's a mismatch that can never catch up, let alone win the game of freedom vs. tyranny on the world stage.  President Pinball is playing a game that will only draw out the hostilities we see daily in Syria and Iraq, rather than resolving them while protecting millions of innocent civilians.  Essentially, President Pinball has told the world that Syria and Iraq are not the problem of the U.S., but rather the problem of the local parties on the ground in these affect areas.

This is so typical of President Pinball.  When he can't handle the heat in the kitchen, he simply declares that the kitchen is not his problem.  In a globally connected world community, this is just another marker that illuminates to the world that President Pinball is ineffective as the leader of the free world and not to be trusted as an ally.

President Pinball came into office promising to bring the world together.  The reality is that the world is now far more unstable and divided than when the president took office.  The decline in world stability and security is not just some mere happenstance.  President Pinball's feckless leadership has created a vacuum in foreign relations and our enemies have taken this opportunity to advance the dark forces under their command, including the savage barbarians of Islam, as they occupy significant portions of Syria and Iraq.

President Pinball has told our enemies what he will not do, rather than going about the business of attacking our enemies on all fronts with all means possible.  It was Teddy Roosevelt that said, "Speak softly, but carry a big stick".  President Pinball refuses to carry a big stick and sends hollow threats to our enemies.  As the U.S. and it allies conduct air strikes against ISIS, it should be noted that ISIS has constantly been evolving in its tactical response to these air strikes.  Meanwhile President Pinball has pinned his hopes on continuing to exercise a limited military air option, essentially by remote control, without benefit of having the tactical eyes in the field to provide precise guidance for military air strikes.

As a military strategist and tactician, President Pinball has all the skills of a community activist to bring to bear, which is to say, none at all.

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Rob Janicki is a retired educator, strong supporter of the 2nd amendment and all around good guy, as well as owner/operator of the website Wired Right and owes me 20 bucks.

Obama is Becoming Nixonian.

"One of the more interesting political/psychological pastimes these days is to watch how President Obama deals with his crumbling presidency. The answer is: Not well.

What is worth paying increasing attention to, I think, is the emotional state of the president. It’s in front of his donors that his most authentic feelings seem to surface, and it’s clear he’s becoming increasingly isolated, embittered, and thin skinned. His excuse making is now chronic and habitual. He’s even displaying some signs of paranoia. Everyone is against him.

Obama is becoming Nixonian.

The man who by a wide margin has received the most worshipful press coverage in at least the last half-century is complaining that the press is mistreating him. A president who routinely misleads the public on matters large and small, who first ran for president on the promise of unifying America but governs based on dividing it, and who allows the most important national-security matters to be decided by crass political considerations is blaming others for feeding cynicism.

Watching a narcissist struggle to deal with massive, multiplying failures can be a poignant thing, especially when everyone gets what’s going on except the narcissist and his enablers. When this happens to a sitting president, however, what is poignant becomes alarming. Because it’s always better that the president of the United States live in reality rather than creating his own."

(Commentary Magazine)

Democrat Politicians Remind Me of Used Car Salesmen

Another Senate Candidate That Has All The Scruples 

and Ethics of a Lying Sack of S**t

by Robert Janicki

It's been reported that Greg Orman said he will caucus with the party in the Senate majority in the next congress. Why should an Independent caucus with either Democrats or Republicans?  The answer is simple.  Orman  wants support for his agenda and is willing to sell out to either political party to see his own agenda advance.  I call this absolute deceit.  Apparently Greg Orman sees no conflict.  That's a lot easier for a man with no principles to assert.

"Independent Greg Orman says he could change parties even after he has allied himself with Democrats or Republicans if he wins the Kansas Senate election in November...."

" In an exclusive interview with NBC’s Kelly O’Donnell, Orman says he would initially caucus with whichever party has majority control in the Senate, because “it’s in the best interests of the voters of Kansas that they have a senator in the majority.”

I leave it to readers to determine whether they think Orman is lacking in scruples or ethics.  Okay, he's a wanna be politician, so, for many, a lack of scruples and ethic is a given.  

For those who are unfamiliar with Greg Orman, he previously ran for the U.S, Senate as a Democrat and lost.  He has contributed to Democrat candidates and causes in the recent past.  Call me old-fashioned, but when it walks like a duck, quacks like and sh*ts like a duck, you can pretty much rely on the duck  being a Democrat. 

READ MORE@NBC

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Rob Janicki is a retired educator, strong supporter of the 2nd amendment and all around good guy, 

as well as owner/operator of the website Wired Right  and owes me 20 bucks. 

His Weakness, Our Disgrace

"What's unique about our times is the nature of the threats — suicidal, homicidal, genocidal terrorists, well armed and organized, seeking the destruction of the United States. The other difference: the lack of Western leadership, starting with the president himself. ...

"He tries to manage the world as he hopes it will be, rather than lead the world as it is. Yes, foreign policy is hard. These issues are both historic and existential. The American public is fickle. Congress is all but useless. And our allies in Europe are loathe to lead — or even to pay a fair price for fighting threats closer to their borders than our own.

 "But that's why only one person gets to be president of the United States, and, presumably, that's why Obama asked twice to be elected. He wanted the job. He knew its challenges (including the existence of social media). He thought he could lead. When does he get started?"— Ron Fournier, National Journal

Obama's Most Successful Accomplishment.......Division

"....the sheer “I won” in-your-face immaturity of the Obamaites — remember the “Hey, Hey, Goodbye” chant to Bush at the inauguration — ensured that people would be angrier than normal. And they did that on purpose because a sharply divided nation suited them politically. Now Ron Fournier wonders if Americans would rally behind Obama after another 9/11 the way we rallied behind Bush, and I think the answer is no — because Obama has spent his entire time in office flicking boogers at half the country.

As I’ve said before, the reason why presidents traditionally act “presidential” isn’t because they’re stiffly formal, it’s because acting presidential, rather than purely political, lets you appeal to the whole country in ways that a pure partisan can’t. Obama doesn’t care, and we may very well pay for that, too. But elections have consequences, and when you elect a guy like Obama, the consequences are bad ones." - Glenn Reynolds

Six Years Wasted

Americans are amazingly patient with their presidents, but Obama has pushed them beyond scandal fatigue. The “final straw” appears to be the illegal alien invasion masterminded by Obama.

The cliché is that “the fish stinks from the head” and it is clear now that the Obama administration reflects the corruption and incompetence of Barack Obama, a Chicago politician who leapt to power despite not even having served a full term as a U.S. Senator. He was elected to be the first black President of the United States and it is no small irony that even African-Americans know he has done little or nothing to address their needs and concerns.

He will not be impeached as he should be, but he will increasingly lack any power other than executive orders. The constitutional system will work, but it will take decades to repair the damage."

READ MORE 

Loyalist Time Magazine is Calling Obama a Coward

Why stop at "coward?" What about traitor, liar, embarrassment.... 

DownTrend

Besides being wrong about everything, the biggest slam on Obama is he essentially does nothing. He’ll make a few speeches blaming Republicans for his failings, then whisk off for golf, vacations, and fundraising. Conservatives have noticed this behavior since the beginning of his first term, but now with his inaction on the border crisis, the liberals are waking up to it, and they’re just as pissed off as the rest of us.

Surprisingly, Time Magazine has issued a kick to Obama’s groin with a piece called The Border And Obama. In it, author Joe Klein calls Obama a coward and begs him to do something, anything, presidential. And those are some of the nicer things he says about our Procrastinator-In-Chief.

I almost couldn’t make it to the juicy stuff because this article starts out as a very pro-illegal alien piece that advances the bogus theory that the hoard of Central American children are fleeing war torn lands. But as Klein gets into the fact that religious organizations are taking an active roll in the crisis, he takes Obama to task for doing absolutely nothing.

Barack Obama should see the Catholic Charities mission in McAllen. His job, after all, is to rise above the rancor and, well, lead. You don’t do this by making a speech to a favored audience. You do it by taking action, setting a personal example. The President has gone to the scene of other human tragedies. He has acknowledged the suffering personally in the past. But not now, and you have to wonder why.

Klein thinks he knows why Obama refuses to address the border crisis:

Dear Republican National Committee......

Maybe We Should Have a Presidential Training Simulator

He Drives Like He Governs 

Barack Obama (I'm not interested in photo ops) drives a Saturn SL1 vehicle simulator during a tour of the Turner-Fairbank Highway Research Center in McLean, Va.

A President Who Has Learned Nothing

"President Obama arrived in the White House in 2009 determined not to repeat his predecessor’s mistakes. But as with every general who sought to win the next war with the winning strategies employed in the last one, he has now a record of colossal miscalculations of his own to defend.

Obama remains forever locked in a time warp labeled 2008. Making a blunder is one thing but, as the president has demonstrated, not having the grace or the wit to recognize that you’ve made a mistake is far worse. Based on Mondays performance and the certain prospects of future humiliations at the hands of Putin, Assad, and Iran’s ayatollahs, Barack Obama will go down in history as the president who learned nothing." - Jonathan Tobin

Behind the Scenes the Finger Pointing is Already Started

Left-wing Loonies like Sen. Elizabeth Warren are taking heat from centrist democrats 

Little Harry Reid railing against the Koch Brothers, phony OBamaCare numbers, media drum beating and fake job numbers aren't going to overcome the public perceptions of a government gone awry; a bad economy, Obama fatigue, and scandal and lies of left- wing loonies that dominate the democrat party and government. With a shellacing in the mid-terms looming, dems are in disarray and blaming each other for the noose they placed their own necks in:

"Bracing for a rough midterm-election outcome, Democrats aren't waiting until Election Day to start blaming one another for the party's problems. Anticipating the possibility that Republicans will flip the Senate, the finger-pointing game is already underway between the party's warring factions.

Earlier this month, Daily Kos founder Markos Moulitsas argued liberals had successfully purged so-called squishy moderates from the Democratic Party's ranks—even if those same lawmakers had helped the party retain conservative-leaning Senate and House seats. From the middle, the centrist Democratic think tank Third Way has become more outspoken in criticizing progressive leaders, including Sen. Elizabeth Warren and New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio, for advocating an agenda that will compromise the party's ability to attract moderate voters.

The public spats between outside groups are nothing compared with the private finger-pointing over who could be responsible if Republicans ride a political wave this year. 

In Third Way cofounder Matt Bennett's telling, it wasn't a lack of populism that caused the party's problems. It was an incessant focus on class-war rhetoric in 2013 that repelled some voters.

"Democrats lost touch with the middle class," he said. "We engaged in arguments that have intellectual but not emotional resonance. " 

READ MORE

Frankly, it's news to me that there are any 'centrist' still in the democrat party.

Commander Zero Swoops in to Europe

Making a dramatic entrance, Commander Zero touched down in Amsterdam in a military helicopter, flanked by a squadron of battle-green gunships to tell a meeting of Europe's leaders that more needs to be done to prevent the region from descending into all-out war Putin from embarrassing him any further. 

Obama's first visit to Brussels to cost
Belgium more than €10m

As Belgium's capital and host to the EU and Nato, Brussels is used to deploying heavy security when big names pop by. But US President Barack Obama's visit on Tuesday will strain the city like never before with €10m (£8.4m) of Belgian money being spent to cover his 24 hours in the country.

The president will arrive on Tuesday night with a 900-strong entourage, including 45 vehicles and three cargo planes. Advance security teams orchestrating every last detail have combed Brussels already, checking the sewers and the major hospitals, while American military helicopters were last week given the green light for overflights.

Read More

NO More Tattoos, Lingerie or Strip Clubs for YOU!!!

Someone Has Finally Come to Their Senses Round Here

Louisiana welfare recipients will now be prohibited from spending the federal assistance at lingerie shops, tattoo parlors, nail salons and jewelry stores, under new limits enacted by state social services officials.  Also barred in the latest restrictions from taking welfare debit cards are video arcades, bail bond companies, cruise ships, psychics, adult-entertainment businesses, nightclubs, bars and any businesses where minors are not allowed.

Last year, the social services agency enacted new regulations that banned the spending of welfare money on cigarettes, alcohol and lottery tickets. Those regulations also included prohibitions on the use of a welfare electronic benefit card at liquor stores, gambling sites and Strip Clubs,  as required under a recently-passed federal law.  

The Department of Children and Family Services announced the emergency regulations late Thursday. They cover the Family Independence Temporary Assistance Program — commonly known as welfare benefits — and the Kinship Care Subsidy Program.

Ruth Johnson

The previous legal misuse of welfare funds were in part instituted and overseen by this woman, Ruth Johnson who resigned her post last June as Louisiana's social services secretary, a position that oversees one of the largest agencies in state government, with a $949 million budget and more than 4,000 employees (that is one employee for every 1200 people in the state).

Thankfully for us, Johnson is now deputy director for finance and administration at the South Carolina Department of Health and Human Services.

(source)

No 'Three Amigos' Summit for Obama This Time

Just another glaring example of lack of leadership 
and poor standing in the world affairs.

National Journal

"When President Obama flies to Mexico on Wednesday to meet with his North American counterparts, he'll be reviving a continental leaders' meeting that George W. Bush envisioned as an annual event when he hosted the first one in 2005. That one went so well it was dubbed the "Three Amigos Summit." Then-Mexican President Vicente Fox praised Bush, saying he had "mastered the traditional male hug of Mexican culture, the abrazo."

"But Obama is not really the hugging kind."

"And he, Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto, and Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper are not really acting much like amigos these days. So don't expect a lot of abrazos during Obama's time in Toluca, the capital of the state of Mexico, about 40 miles southwest of Mexico City. There are problems among the leaders of the continent's three countries.

Mexico City is displeased that Obama has failed to push through immigration reform in the United States. And Ottawa is displeased that Obama has taken five years to make up his mind on its proposed Keystone XL pipeline into the United States with still no decision in sight. "Canada has been very frustrated over the years that the Keystone decision has been put off, delayed," said Joshua Meltzer, an expert on global trade at the Brookings Institution. He expects Harper "to push a little bit" to get Obama to move faster now that the State Department has issued its findings on the climate impact of the pipeline. 

The schedule calls for Obama to meet separately with Peña Nieto soon after arriving in the Mexican president's hometown. Then, after a lunch with both of the other leaders, the U.S. president will have what the White House is calling a "walk and talk" with Harper." 

Continue Reading 

He had a Dream.....

Lead Booger Eater Taunts Republicans on Twitter

It's hard to move on, Harry, when you're watching a train wreck 
while we're occupying one of the seats!

American Democrats on a Marxist March

CFP - America’s Marxist-loving Democrats are on a roll. The Dem roll, which has effectively frightened almost the entire Republican Party into quivering RINO jello, is spreading its tentacles all the way across the pond to Britain.

 AP reports that Britain’s governing Conservatives have hired Jim Messina, President Barack Obama’s former campaign manager, to advise them ahead of the 2015 general election.

Messina was Obama’s national chief of staff for the 2008 presidential campaign and the president’s campaign manager in 2012. His organizational flair and social media strategy have been credited for helping secure Obama’s re-election.

Messina is now chairman of a nonprofit called Organizing for Action and head of consulting firm The Messina Group. And you can bet the farm that his Organizing for Action wasn’t held back from charitable status by the IRS......."

The palsmanship between Cameron and Obama portrayed in photo-ops runs deep. Cameron hired Obama adviser Anita Dunne, who named Mao Zedong and Mother Teresa as two of her “favorite political philosophers” to help him prepare for televised debates during the 2010 election. Low information voters in Britain should have been asking if that was David Cameron or Mao talking up on the stage......."

Read More

How embarrassing for the Obama Administration: Jimmy Carter Goes on Hostage Rescue Mission

America’s most disliked former president is planning yet another step onto the international stage – this time heading to North Korea to negotiate the release of an American citizen Pyongyang accuses of working to overthrow the government, according to Reuters.

Fortunately for the man being held, a missionary named Kenneth Bae, Jimmy Carter has a good chance of getting him out. He did something similar in 2010 for a Boston native being held in North Korea for illegally entering the country. The North Koreans – like most countries that despise the United States (Venezuela, Cuba, Syria etc.) actually think Carter’s a great guy.

Unfortunately for the United States, there’s a good chance Carter will say or do something embarrassing to the rest of the country – kind of like he did on a daily basis from 1977 to 1981. (And as he’s been doing regularly ever since America’s voters ended Carter’s administration of malaise by trading one of the worst presidencies in history for one of the greatest.)

Here’s a rundown of some Carter classics, just from the past 10 years:

July 19: “America has no functioning democracy at this moment.”Actually, Carter hasn’t been fond of American democracy since it proved itself on Nov. 4, 1980.

February, 2012: The Occupy Movement has been “relatively successful, even acknowledging there’s no leadership, there’s no coherence and there’s no single list of issues they want to succeed.” Carter is an expert on matters of “no leadership and no coherence.”

Sept. 10, 2011: “We kept our country at peace (during his administration). We never went to war. We never dropped a bomb. We never fired a bullet.” Letting 54 citizens be held prisoner and getting embarrassed on the world stage by a mob of beggars in Tehran for more than a year and not doing a damn thing about it isn’t something to brag about.

September, 2009: “I think an overwhelming portion of the intensely demonstrated animosity toward President Barack Obama is based on the fact that he is a black man, that he’s African-American.” What other myriad of reasons could there be to dislike Carter’s philosophical successor?

April, 2008: “My country, the political arena of my country, is almost 100 percent supportive of the Israeli position. You never hear any debates on both sides much. … They have laid down a rule to which I consider myself immune that … nobody can talk to Hamas, nobody can talk to Syria.” Jimmy Carter, our apostle to the Syrians.

May, 2007: “I think as far as the adverse impact on the nation around the world, this (Bush) administration has been the worst in history.” There’s at least one other administration in the running for that title. It was around from 1977 to 1980.

January, 2006: “At least (Hamas) aren’t corrupt.” Thanks. Murdering, lying terrorists they may be. But at least they’re not corrupt.

September, 2005: “Well I would say that in the year 2000, the country failed abysmally in the presidential election process … There’s no doubt in my mind that Al Gore was elected president.” See how that whole presidential democracy thing bugs him?

September, 2004: “… Here’s what I will be doing: Everything I can to put John Kerry in the White House with John Edwards right there beside him.” Working to put John Edwards in the White House. Jimmy Carter: A judge of men. Think of the love children we could have seen grow up there.

Russians Be All Up in Snowden's Laptop - Releases NSA Data

Middle Finger News Service
Moscow Correspondent

Alexander Putin, in a further attempt to embarrass the child emperor on safari, has now made public some of the NSA records taken from Edward Snowden's hard drive which trace communications from within the White House. Here is some examples released:

Phone Record
September 11, 2012
From: Pentagon, Office of the Secretary of Defense
To: Oval Office
Content: Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta phones President Barack Obama to inform him of attack on U.S. facility in Benghazi. POTUS indicates concern and asks to remain updated. SecDef is forced to repeat several key details and notes that POTUS seems distracted. POTUS responds that he is constructing fantasy basketball team and asks SecDef if he wants in. SecDef politely declines and pledges to continue delivering updates. POTUS lets him know there’s a good chance those updates will go to voice mail.

Phone Record
October 16, 2012
From: Office of the Vice President
To: WMZQ-FM 98.7, Washington D.C.
Content: Vice President Joseph Biden places 17 consecutive phone calls to Washington D.C. country music station WMZQ attempting to be the 98th caller and win Taylor Swift concert tickets. Line surveillance reveals increasingly heated profanity with every failed attempt.

Internet Record
November 1, 2012
From: President’s Private Quarters
Content: Laptop computer in White House residence enters Google search: “mechanisms to cope with your Secretary of State’s husband.” No results found.

Phone Record
January 22, 2013
From: Oval Office
To: Department of Justice, Office of the Attorney General
Content: POTUS places call to Attorney General Eric Holder. POTUS leads conversation on DOJ prosecutorial priorities for the year. AG Holder interrupts conversation to inform POTUS that Fox News reporter James Rosen has just purchased “Game of Thrones” DVD on Amazon.

Phone Record
April 18, 2013
From: Executive Office of the President, White House Counsel’s Office
To: Oval Office
Content: White House Counsel Kathryn Ruemmler phones POTUS to inform him of news that the Internal Revenue service is inappropriately harassing conservative non-profit organizations. Upon hearing the news, POTUS immediately adopts a heavy accent, claims not to speak English, and slams down the phone

Internet Record
April 20, 2013
From: Office of the Vice President
Content: Desktop computer from Vice President’s personal office visits Ask Jeeves, enters query: “Does the Constitution give the President authority to set the Vice President’s bedtime?” Query is blocked by internal filter, which displays message, “Joe, get your pajamas on.”

Phone Record
May 3, 2013
From: Executive Office of the President, National Economic Council
To: Oval Office
Content: Gene Sperling, Director of the National Economic Council, calls the president for regular update on future economic projections. POTUS inquires as to prospects for future growth. Sperling hesitates and fails to give definitive answer. POTUS presses further. Sperling responds that, based on his economic calculations, only the First Lady’s gardening habit will ensure that the First Family has enough calories to outrun packs of wolves that will overtake Washington D.C. within the next three years.

Phone Record
June 6, 2013
From: Office of the White House Press Secretary
To: President’s Private Quarters
Content: White House Press Secretary Jay Carney informs POTUS that UK Guardian is about to release story detailing surveillance practices of National Security Agency. Carney and POTUS both appear anxious, but conversation is repeatedly interrupted by inquiry, “What’s that clicking noise on the line?”

Phone Record
June 7, 2013
From: Private Residence (Crawford, Texas)
To: Oval Office
Content: In brief phone call, unidentified male phones POTUS, says “Not as easy as it looks, is it jackass?” and hangs up.

Internet Record
June 7, 2013 (Later in the Day)
From: President’s Private Quarters
Content: Laptop computer in White House residence enters Google search: “federal pension, early retirement.” Followed by Google search: “Hawaii real estate + golf course.”

The Americans With No Abilities Act

Free Republic

- President Barack Obama and the Senate are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said California Sen. Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing."

In a Capitol Hill press conference last week, former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons With No Ability. The Transportation Security Agency was a close runner up. Under the act, it will be perfectly acceptable to be in second place.

Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the inept include retail sales (72 percent), the airline industry (68 percent), and home-improvement warehouse stores (65 percent). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No Ability (63 percent).

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability (POI) into middle-management positions, and give a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the nonabled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, "Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?"

"As a nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Mich., due to her inability to remember righty tighty, lefty loosey. "This new law should be real good for people like me. I'll finally have job security." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Vice President Joe Biden: "As an ex-senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so."

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