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Not Quite What They Expected.....From Us Or Them

Duck Dynasty is not the show that A&E wanted,
it is the show that got away from them.

In a sense Duck Dynasty is a modern day Beverly Hillbillies. Those Hillbillies had lots of money too, a love of family, and exotic tastes in food – eating possum and gizzards and all sorts of things that we regularly see the Ducks cooking – such as squirrel and frogs. The Hillbillies series started out mocking the family that called their luxury swimming pool a “cement pond” and outsmarted by simple technologies such as phones. America however wound up falling in love with the Beverly Hillbillies and especially with the tough and zany Granny. Soon enough the joke backfired as the series converted the mockers into fans and the jokes increasingly came at the expense of the city slickers.

Duck Dynasty has Beverly Hillbillies backfire written all over it:

"It seems what the producers intended and what A&E envisioned with the show is much different than the show that they ended up with, but they didn't do anything about it because it was so wildly popular and so wildly profitable. But even with all the money, they have never really been comfortable with what happened.

 The whole idea of the show was to parade these nouveau riche Christian hillbillies around so that we could laugh at them. "Look at them," we were supposed to say. "Look how backward they are! Look what they believe! Can you believe they really live this way and believe this stuff? See how they don't fit in? HAHAHA"  

 When the producers saw the way the show was shaping up, different than they envisioned it, they tried to change course. They tried to get the Robertson's to tone down their Christianity, but to their eternal credit they refused. They tried to add fake cussin' to the show by inserting bleeps where no cussword was uttered. At best, they wanted to make the Robertson's look like crass buffoons. At worst they wanted them to look like hypocrites.

 They desperately wanted us to laugh at the Robertsons. Instead, we loved them."

Watching Phil Robertson shoot, disembowel and skin  various animals then watch Mrs. Kay cook clearly discernible squirrels and ducks and otherwise engage in a cuisine that is foreign to us is part of the Ducks “charm”. You don’t have to enjoy the cooking to appreciate the lifestyle and love the Robertsons enjoy. You don’t have to agree with the religious opinions or even like all the cast members to enjoy the company of the Duck Dynasty crew and family.

As with the Beverly Hillbillies the Duck Dynasty is all about family. This family has had trial by fire. The patriarch Phil was a drunk and all around nogoodnik who abandoned his family and caused all sorts of trouble for himself and those that loved him. Eventually Phil, because of the love and persistence of his wife, corrected course. Today, it is clear that the family not only loves but respects Phil.

When a lizard escapes in the company warehouse, it is Phil that is called. When business pressures build up after a large order that cannot be fulfilled due to lack of workers it is Kay that comes though by organizing family and friends to the rescue. At every turn, in every situation, the parents are looked up to and respected. It is something shocking to see because that is a long gone narrative on American TV.

American TV today tells only one story when it comes to family: the kids are smart and the parents are idiots. That story is told in every entertainment show, movies (ever see Home Alone?), and commercials. The parents are dopes unable to function without the wise guiding hands of the children.

And that notion even reached into 2008 presidential politics, as Barack Obama’s campaign organized the young to lecture their elders on the wisdom of electing Barack Obama.

USA Today Refuses to Publish Staged WH Photos

In recent weeks, there has been a revolt within the mainstream media among photojournalists who are’t happy with their bosses reprinting the staged propaganda photos produced by the White House. The White House has increasingly limited access to photojournalists, instead reserving access to the President for the official White House photographer Pete Souza.  

Poynter News:

In a memo to staff Sunday, USA Today Deputy Director of Multimedia Andrew P. Scott said the news organization will not use “handout photos originating from the White House Press Office, except in very extraordinary circumstances. USA Today owner Gannett was among the organizations that protested the White House’s clampdown on photographers’ access to the president last week.

The Associated Press sometimes distributes handout photos when “something newsworthy or notable happens” in “certain areas of the White House are off-limits to the media, but in general it views such photos as “visual press releases." Media organizations generally do not reproduce written press releases verbatim, so why should we settle for these official images?”

Guess that ring in the nose the media has been led around by for so long is starting to hurt..... 

Network Accidentally Airs Footage of Syrian Air Strikes

Middle Finger News Service

The White House and Pentagon officials are furious with CNN today after the network accidentally aired Defense Department pre-packaged footage of a successful Navy cruise missile strike from the second week of the upcoming attack on Syria.

The news network immediately apologized for showing the grainy, 10-second clip of a cruise missile bearing down on an chemical weapons depot outside of Damascus. It came on screen just as anchor Wolf Blitzer was heading into a commercial break, and took him by surprise.

“When we come back,” Blitzer said, “amazing video from Operation T.B.D. of U.S. air strikes on an Syrian  military facility that the Navy says completely destroyed… hold on. I don’t think we’re supposed to use this yet … Are we? … No. So our viewers should… to our viewers, that’s… just ignore that.”

The Pentagon provided substantial footage of the upcoming air strikes, currently labeled ‘Operation To Be Determined’ pending focus group results, to all major news networks last week, asking it not be shown until the conflict starts, most likely in early November. Such embargoes are common, notably in business journalism, where reporters are given advance notice of a news stories or announcements but are asked to delay publication until the source is ready to announce.

At MSNBC, editor Kelly Parsons said the network never considered blowing the whistle on U.S. war plans, concluding it would damage what little creditability the president has left.

“If we expose the war now, we jeopardize literally weeks of hard work by our staff,” she said. “We’ve got the escalation of war segments, the last minute diplomatic attempts, a two-hour ‘On the Brink’ special slated for November, and the big U.N. vote, not to mention all the highly practiced feigned hyperbole of Chris Mathews and Special Ed Schultz.   

“Clearly the existence of this false footage proves America intends to bomb Syria, said Gen. Walid Kaboom of the Syrian Army.  "But when they do, we will be ready. We have already prepared footage of that same strike, but in ours the missile actually hits a Hookah factory and kills 9000 innocent civilians. Syrian anti aircraft batteries also shoot down six American planes and capture a dozen pilots, all of whom confess to something. We haven't decided what."

Between Ba-rock and a Hard Place

The blustering threats and the likelihood of U.S. action in Syria  is occupying hearts and minds of some at this year’s Toronto film festival. But when it comes to Hollywood's usual outspoken voices publicly weighing in on the debate over U.S. intervention in the territory, all we hear are crickets.

"The Hollywood Reporter tried to get comments about the war from Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins at the Toronto International Film Festival this weekend, but were told they were "unavailable for comment."

 Included in the "unavailable for comment" list were other predictably anti-war Hollywoodans such as Josh Brolin and Penn Jillette. To give you an idea just how strong the anti-war silence is in Hollywood, one TIFF attendee was apparently willing to speak with THR until his film's distributor cautioned him against doing so........" - NewsBusters

No Time for the Children

Obama Giving Interviews To Every Major TV News Network

Monday EXCEPT MSNBC

Ahead of his address to the nation about Syria Tuesday the President will give interviews to the evening newscasts of ABC, CBS, CNN, NBC, PBS, even Fox News on Monday.

Deliciously absent was MSNBC, the network so deeply in bed with Obama that there's hardly room for the First Lady.  In reality, he can't possibly speak for himself any better than that organization's shills.

Better still is the anger this will generate when liberals across the fruited plain find out that Obama believes it's far more important to make his case about Syria to Fox News watchers than the limited patrons of MSNBC. 

Whatever the reason, it's absolutely spectacular seeing this industry laughing stock get snubbed by the man they all seem to work for.

This Could be Better than Watching a Monkey Bungee Jump

Is a New Hero for The Low Information

Voter on the Horizon?

Alec Baldwin to Host TV Interview Show on MSNBC

“We the People” Vs. Insane Utopian Zombies

CFP

"If you have come to feel that the inmates are running the asylum, and have the nagging suspicion that you have been, and are being, lied to by your government, entertainment industry, “news” media, politicians, pundits, and darn near everybody else and their cousin, then take heart—you aren’t crazy, they are.

Their insanity is the end result of a long, Byzantine trail of intellectual and spiritual missteps that can be traced back to the Enlightenment and the reason-driven teachings of the philosophes, which in turn led to the philosophical rebuttal of the emotion-driven Romantic movement, and so on through numerous permutations on up to the present day. Connecting the dots between the various associated philosophies, movements, doctrines, and ideologies is no doubt a fascinating journey, but it is not one we shall be embarking on in this article.

Suffice it to say that through centuries of trial and error the left-wing intelligentsia have parlayed a hope-filled optimistic foundation of sanity, morality, Deism, and reason—into a grim, amoral, envious, pessimistic, misogynistic, misanthropic, nihilistic, Godless, senseless mess. No mean feat that. What was bad is now good, and what was good is now bad—this state of affairs is sometimes called the “Luciferian Inversion.”

[Sidebar: It is worth noting that although spiritual experiences can have a great intellectual and/or emotional impact, a true spiritual experience is not an intellectual or emotional construct.]

Be that as it may, it is important to realize that the current Liberal/Progressive agenda is not the result of some fearless search for truth, but the result of a slavish devotion to promoting a predetermined outcome (a collectivist utopia). Clever propaganda and duplicity are zombie collectivism’s stock in trade....."

Read the Whole Post HERE 

The Failure of Profiling Racists

"The press occasionally does us the favor of picking out a ritual sacrifice like Zimmerman. His public crucifixion fulfills our unarticulated need to symbolically expiate our manifold sins of desecrating the sacred ideology that demands we never notice patterns."

Taki's Magazine
by Steve Sailer

"What can we learn from the media and government frenzy to railroad George Zimmerman, a campaign that continues even after his acquittal, with the Obama Administration now threatening hate-crime charges?

First, the KKKrazy Glue that holds together the disparate elements of the Obama Coalition is fear and loathing of white racists, even when they aren’t racist. Or white.

Second, the farcical trial was—or at least would have been in some rational alternative universe—a huge black eye for the reliability of the prestige press on race-related topics. The evidence presented to the Zimmerman jurors was so out of sync with the storyline packaged for the public in 2012 that there should be a National Media Day of Shame and Self-Criticism.

The press mania got the Sanford, FL police chief, Bill Lee, fired for not charging Zimmerman. But local law enforcement was right all along. The bulk of the evidence always supported Zimmerman’s story of self-defense; thus the quick, decisive verdict,

The only reason Zimmerman was put on trial for murder was because, in their lust to find a white racist murderer of an innocent black baby who got away by flashing his White Privilege Card, the media didn’t bother checking a photo of Zimmerman before inflating this exurban police blotter item into the Defining Event of Our Times......."

Keep Reading 

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Rolling Stone Pulls Tsarnaev Cover in Favor Of Travon Martin Issue

Angelic Godson of Rev. Sharpton

Middle Finger News Sevice - Reacting to almost universal condemnation of putting a picture of Bob Dylan look alike Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on it’s cover to pull the scab off the emotional wounds after the Boston Massacre, Rolling Stone editors backed off and pulled the newsstand issue and went a more popular way of appeasing the Obama crowd by featuring a cover picture of 1 year old Trayvon Martin.

The picture they chose was from the archives of Reverend Al Sharpton who claims he was Trayvon’s Godfather, and who had baptized him during an easter service while he was speaking in Miami at a memorial service for a dead Crip cut down in a daylight robbery of a Jewish owned jewelry store by a Cuban American cop wounded 4 times before returning fire at the robbers.

At the time Sharpton blamed the Jews again for opening a high end jewelry store just miles away from a neighborhood housing thousands of displaced black teen agers. “Those Jews should know better,’ Reverend Al squealed, “by putting all that bling in the window and in those glass cases they tempted our boys beyond their ability to resist the devil! ‘

Sharpton’s visit led to 3 days of rioting, the looting of 124 stores and the burning down of an entire city block catering to the needs of the African-American community.

For his efforts in contributing to racial divide Sharpton has been given his own TV pulpit to inflame America, got a pass for his income tax avoidance, and been granted 501C status after a 15 second revue by the IRS muslim compliance officer.

Jesse Jackson was unavailable to comment after his universal appeal to the UN to investigate the “human rights” of thousands of black felons currently serving time for a variety of drug related and senseless crimes as he was visiting his son and daughter in law in prison for corruption, fraud, ripping off their own constituents.

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Alex Jones Reveals Second Shooter in Zimmerman Case

Noted conspiracy theorist Alex Jones 

In possibly one of the most riveting and important events of our lifetime, a man known as George Zimmerman is now caught in the middle of a racial divide that exist in our great country. Zimmerman was charged with committing second-degree murder and manslaughter, and after the jury has weighed the evidence and deliberated thus rendering their verdict, Alex Jones drops the bomb on what actually happened to young Trayvon Martin that one terrible night.

Jones took to the microphone on his daily Internet broadcast earlier today to give (in his words) the world a treat. The treat of truth and justice. Jones explained – using a series of PowerPoint slides – that there was, in fact, a second shooter that took Trayvon to his grave.

Trayvon, according to Jones, was actually working undercover as part of the Cyber Command/Lockheed Martin censorship regime violating Americans’ constitutional rights, covering up cell tower electromagnetic weapon assaults on citizens. He goes further to even call Trayvon a “lame psy-op, perpetrating the worst social manipulation and mind-control games in the history of the United States.”

It is Jones belief that Trayvon was put down for trying to “get out of the game.” From what we can see from one of Jones slides, he offers irrefutable proof that George Zimmerman is completely innocent on all counts.

"Brother Roger” and the Racial Agitators

“The only reason they’re allowed to do this is because we in the press enable them by calling them civil rights leaders."  

AIM - When conservatives complain about Al Sharpton, they usually note his relationship to NBC news or his hosting a show on MSNBC. But a new book says the racial agitator and Democratic Party politician has considerable clout with Fox News, and in fact played a role in getting conservative Glenn Beck fired from the channel.

Fox News host Tucker Carlson says “people like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton do not deserve to be called civil rights leaders. They are not. They are hustlers and pimps who make a living off inflaming racial tensions.”

However, The Zev Chafets book, Roger Ailes: Off Camera, has some revealing passages about the clout that Sharpton and Jackson have with the chairman and CEO of Fox News. It says Ailes took a phone call from Sharpton after Beck, then a Fox News host, staged a rally at the Lincoln Memorial 47 years to the day after Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered his “I have a dream” speech at the same location. Beck’s “Restoring Honor” rally, designed to pay tribute to America’s military personnel and restore traditional values, was strongly attacked by figures such as Sharpton and George Soros-funded groups like Media Matters, then campaigning to have Beck fired from Fox News.

Chafets says Reverend Alveda King, a national pro-life leader, delivered a conservative “I have a dream” message of her own at the Beck-sponsored rally that was “infuriating to many viewers,” and Ailes as well. “Ailes didn’t like it much, either,” he reports. However, the book doesn’t explain why Ailes took issue with the rally or the speech.

The book adds, “When Al Sharpton called him [Ailes] to complain, Sharpton was surprised to hear Ailes say he would ‘take care’ of it.” The passage is included in the context of Ailes making a decision that “he would have to get rid of Glenn Beck” and telling Howard Kurtz, then a media reporter with The Daily Beast, that “he was turning down the partisan heat at the network” and was pursuing “a more moderate tone” in programming.

Keep Reading 

Well Hell, We can't Be Having That!

Raised on Hoecakes

According to the New York Times, Carlos Puig “is a columnist for the Mexican newspaper Milenio and the anchor of the television show En 15.” The New York Times published an op-ed piece by Puig on June 26, 2013 that simply boggles the mind.

Puig argues that the US should not ramp up or increase border security or immigration enforcement because of the damage done by returning illegal aliens from the US to Mexico. Puig states the damage he is concerned with is that to Mexico – not the United States.

"But this latest [Immigration and Border Security] plan will only put more stress on Mexican border towns that already bear the brunt of unexpected and, often, unwanted waves of returnees from the United States.

Since 2008, the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (I.C.E.) has increased deportations of illegal aliens under a policy to maximize “the removal of those who pose the greatest threat to public safety or national security.” The agency says it has sent back close to 410,000 individuals from the United States in the 2012 fiscal year, almost 55 percent of them — 225,390 people — convicted criminal aliens. That’s almost double the number of criminals deported in 2008 — and, the agency says, “the largest number of criminal aliens removed in agency history.”

At this point it almost seems as if Puig is arguing that the US should bear the total responsibility for Mexican citizens to come into the US illegally, commit a crime, be convicted of a crime, and then returned to Mexico rather than Mexico being responsible for the illegal and criminal actions of their own citizens.

Well, it doesn’t just seem that is what he is saying, it is what he is saying.

"Indeed, the policy’s success translates into thousands of convicted murderers, sex offenders and drug dealers being sent back to their countries of origin, which means largely to Mexico. According to the latest figures from the U.S. government, about 450,000 Mexicans who committed crimes in the United States were returned home between 2008 and 2011. This is partly because in 2007 I.C.E. began implementing a program called Rapid REPAT, offering undocumented aliens convicted of criminal offenses early release in exchange for immediate repatriation."

Yeah, because we all know that the US, rather than Mexico or another country, should bear the costs and brunt of the actions of people here in the US illegally.

This would all be laughable if it weren’t for the fact that the Mexican immigration laws are more strict than those of the United States.

"Under the Mexican law, illegal immigration is a felony, punishable by up to two years in prison. Immigrants who are deported and attempt to re-enter can be imprisoned for 10 years. Visa violators can be sentenced to six-year terms. Mexicans who help illegal immigrants are considered criminals.

The law also says Mexico can deport foreigners who are deemed detrimental to “economic or national interests,” violate Mexican law, are not “physically or mentally healthy” or lack the “necessary funds for their sustenance” and for their dependents."  

Why is it acceptable for Mexico to deport illegal aliens who have committed a crime, but not the US? Why the differing standards?

Puig’s piece is not just about the alleged strain that enforcing US law or even enforcing Mexican immigration law in the US. It is that Puig wants Mexico to be involved with making US immigration policy. Puig concludes with:

"Mexico wants the U.S. government to pass an immigration reform that would set on the path to legality the six million or so undocumented Mexicans now living in the United States. But the cost might be too great for some Mexican communities along that very border Americans are trying so hard to make secure — for themselves."

Well, bully for Mexico. The moment Mexico – and Mexican citizens – are willing to apply the same standards to US immigration policies as well as taking responsibility for illegal immigrants in the US that commit crimes then, and only then, can they have a seat at the table.

Until then, Mexico and Mr. Puig has more than enough issues within Mexico without offering advice or demanding what the US should do.

In other words, “pound sand Mr. Puig.”

The New NSA Private Information Streaming Service

Pentagon Celebrates Gays in the Military: They're Just Fabulous!

The Washington Times  - "The Pentagon on Tuesday toasted gays in the military, with a top adviser to President Obama declaring the country is “safer” now that they may serve openly in the ranks.

“Because we repealed ‘don’t ask, don’t tell,’ our military … is stronger and our country is safer, more equal and more just,” said Valerie Jarrett, the keynote speaker at the Pentagon’s gay pride celebration. It was the Defense Department second annual gay pride gathering since September 2011, when Mr. Obama signed the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell,” a ban on gays serving openly in the military implemented during the Clinton administration."

The 7th Gay Airborne held their first annual 'Rue Paul Fabulous Fashion Purse'

400m relay near the Pentagon Auditorium.

This year’s 35-minute gathering in the Pentagon auditorium was more low-key and shorter than last year’s event, which featured a gay Marine officer, an Air Force lawyer and a lesbian West Point graduate. Wednesday’s speakers were assembled by a new group, DOD Pride, and featured three senior officials, topped by Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel.

“We’re very proud of everything the gay and lesbian community have contributed and continue to contribute,” Mr. Hagel said. “With their service, we are moving closer to fulfilling the country’s founding vision that all of us are created equal.”

Sgt. Jay Asbee and Lt. Lee Genes of the 4th Mountain Rump Ranger Division 
observe a group of hunky British commando's returning from patrol
near Abdulville Afganistan,  hoping for some action themselves soon

 

"Eric Fanning, the Air Force undersecretary and acting Air Force secretary, noted that two years ago gays could not serve openly. Now, a secretary of defense was speaking at a lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender celebration."

Navy Corpsman David Filmee and his transgender partner, seaman Danni Gripp

shoot off the submarine tender tugboat, USS Barney Frank

"Ms. Jarrett told of meeting gay service members at the White House, including a Marine Corps captain.“When he deploys in August, he’ll be taking his husband with him,” she said.
Army Reserve Brig. Gen. Tammy Smith, the first openly gay general officer, stood in the audience with her partner, to a round of applause. “Stand up. Come on,” Ms. Jarrett said. “Whoo. Whoo.”

Ms. Jarrett, one of Mr. Obama’s closest confidantes, called the repeal of the gay ban “one of the most significant civil rights accomplishments of the president's career.”

The Progressive Glossary

Taki's Magazine

"I’ve recently been made aware of a strange new tribe who refer to themselves collectively—they do everything collectively—as “progressives.” I think they used to call themselves “liberals” until it became clear that they don’t care much for liberty. Males and females in this tribe both tend to wear beards and gather in urban coastal areas, where they pay too much for apartments, water, coffee, and bean sprouts."

"They speak a strange and exotic tongue unfamiliar to my ears. But they repeat certain terms so frequently, I feel as if I’ve begun to get a handle on what they’re driving at. To the best of my ability, I will try to decipher what these buzzwords mean."

DISADVANTAGED—Dumb and unskilled.

DISENFRANCHISED—People who’ve received a free public education yet still can’t spell “disenfranchised.”

DIVERSITY—A magical incantation used to divert your attention from the fact that it is strikingly similar to the words “divide” and “division.”

DOG WHISTLE—A high-pitched screech from the enemy that only progressives are able to hear. Lately this term has been deemed offensive to canines and should therefore be replaced with “coded speech” wherever possible.

ELITES—Wealthy people on the political right. This term is never used to describe wealthy people on the left who control much of the media, government, and academia.

EMPOWERED—Loud and annoying.

EQUALITY—A concept that nearly everyone believes but no one has bothered to prove.

EVOLUTION—An indisputably true biological process that stopped occurring roughly 100,000 years ago when everyone became equal. Only Christians don’t believe it’s real, and only racists believe it didn’t stop 100,000 years ago.

EXTREMIST—Someone whose beliefs make us extremely uncomfortable.

FAIRNESS—A political strategy requiring that winners be treated unfairly.

FALSE EQUIVALENCY—A real equivalency that suggests our beliefs are false.

FASCIST—One who must not be tolerated under any circumstances and should instead be either lynched, sent to a gas chamber, or stomped under our boots.

FAUX NEWS—A biased news channel that presents an alternative to our preferred version of biased and false news.

FIGHTING THE POWER—Allowing oneself to be used as the unwitting tool of global power elites.

FORWARD—The direction one moves when headed toward a cliff......."

KEEP READING 

Media To Add Laugh Track Audio to All Future Jay Carney Press Conferences

Professional B-S artist and defender of anything Obama says or does, Press Secretary
Jay Carney always seems to look like someone just reminded him that his fly is halfway un-zipped.

Middle Finger News Service-

White House press secretary Jay Carney on Friday again referred questions about the collection of Associated Press phone records to the Department of Justice, stating that President Barack Obama remained a “strong defender of the First Amendment.”

Start Giggle and tithering laughter…

“The president is a strong defender of the first amendment,” Carney told reporters at a White House press conference. “And a firm believer in the need for the press to be unfettered in its ability to conduct investigative reporting and facilitate a free flow of information.
He also of course recognizes the need for the Justice Department to investigate alleged criminal activity without undue influence.”

Add increasing boisterous Laughter…..

When questioned about other questionable situations concerning the IRS scandal, the Benghazi embassy attack, and Fast and Furious, Carney said, “the President is carefully looking into all allegations and promises a thorough investigation and swift justice in any wrong doing.”

Add slowly building laughter that climaxes in a roar from the crowd…

Whistling Pass the Graveyard

"....... he was busy claiming credit for extinguishing terrorism by killing Osama bin Laden and that he was not about to compromise that claim by admitting that al Qaeda could pull off an attack in Benghazi. He wants us to ignore the curious timing of the attack on the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon.

This attempt is, of course, doomed to fail. Once we learn — as we have already — that the intelligence reports were doctored, and that the military actions were aborted, it is only a matter of time until the blame filters up to Obama and Clinton, ruining one presidency and possibly preventing another." - Dick Morris

A Middle Finger News Special Report:

The Empire Strikes Back:

Obama to Nationalize Liberal Print Media 

Following  a rumor circulating of  a proposed conservative buyout offer of one of the nation's most liberal news papers and misleading print media,  The Los Angeles Times,  President Obama has resorted to deceased socialist dictator Hugo Chavez’s playbook: Nationalize them!

The self described ‘most transparent regime in US History” met behind closed doors over 6 hours in what has been described by a MF News informants as ‘a closely guarded  strategy session.

According to the scenario put forth , Obama has been urged to take the extreme measures by close personal aide Valerie Jarrett, and Muslim Brotherhood unregistered lobbyist Huma Weiner, wife of former NY congressman,  ‘Rigid Digit’ Weiner. 

Testing the waters, Al Jazerra America, new owner of

 the Al Gore failed TV network “Current TV” leaked a portion of the startling coup in order to get the liberal staffers of print publications on board following their unofficial show of hands indicating their intent to quit if the papers were taken over by the consortium of Rupert Murdoch, the unconjoined Koch Brothers, and  Middle Finger News Chief  Editor , Rebus Cannebus,  AKA the ‘man with the world’s largest set of financial    cojones this side of Warren Buffett.

The President’s close advisors rushed him off the golf links and into the emergency session after it was revealed executives of the New York Times had awarded themselves enormous cash bonuses after hearing of the takeover and fearing for their financial and employment future, a move indicative they were getting ready to ‘bail out’ before the critical 2014 elections.

The Department of the Treasury in consort with the FED has set up a new ‘Yellow Fund”, so named after the type of journalism practiced by the targeted outlets, in order to compensate the owners of the papers, mostly rich and privileged democrats.

Working with the department of justice, AG Eric Holder’s bankruptcy lawyers are to first put the papers into Chapter 7 to insure that all debts would be wiped out, bond holders disenfranchised, and widows and orphans relying on the stock dividends to survive in the Obama economy would be reduced to queueing in line for the diminishing amount of EBT cards available to legal white citizens, food stamps and Obama phones in order to survive. The ploy follows that used by Obama to set up GM, Government Motors, to protect his union base of supporters.

Former editorial and opinion writers who had proven their loyalty to the regime would be retained and put on the government payroll which insured them they would have a gold plated pension plan, and be ‘exempt’ from ObamaCare and all the inherent taxes hidden in the law, and lest we forget, the 7′ stack of amendments tacked on by Redistribution Czar Catherine ‘the hun’ Sebelius.

What Kind of Leftist Are You?

Take COSMO’s Latest Hot Quiz to Find Out!

1. You are at a party when someone jokes that Obama “only celebrates one half of black history month.” What do you do?

A. Explode into a seething ball of rage, point your finger in the jokester’s face, and swear profusely.

B. Be too shocked to say anything. Write an anonymous post on Ask Metafilter when you get home.

C. Laugh nervously, and defend yourself against the girl who starts yelling at you.

D. Look at the cute girl across the room to see how they react.

E. Laugh loudly and continue to drink yourself into a stupor.

2. You find out that one of your coworkers doesn’t support gay marriage. What do you do?

A. Tell everyone in the office that your coworker “hates fags,” loudly complain to HR, make up a fake harassment claim, and try to get him fired.

B. Anonymously complain to HR and write a blog post about it. Wonder how someone can still hold such retrograde views in this day and age. “It’s 2013!”

C. Nothing. The guy may believe in something appalling, but he’s a nice enough guy and you’ve never seen him do anything wrong. Maybe you can befriend him and try to change his mind later.

D. Tell the cute girl in the office that you don’t understand how people can still hold such retrograde views in this day and age. “It’s 2013!”

E. Take the guy out for Chick-Fil-A on his day off.

3. A men’s rights group is holding a meeting somewhere in your general vicinity. What’s the proper course of action?

A. This.

B. Change your facebook profile picture and share an article from Feministing. Difference: made.

C. Eh, whatever. Men's Rights Activist  are stupid, but they have a right to free speech.

D. If you’re a woman, show up to the protest in your underwear. If you’re a guy, loudly communicate your displeasure within earshot of the barista.

E. Go to the meeting.

4. Uh-oh! You meant to take the freeway exit for Sunnyvale Lane, but you accidentally took the exit for MLK Boulevard. What do you do now?

A. Are you INSINUATING that there’s SOMETHING WRONG with MLK BOULEVARD? Huh? Are you SAYING that it’s DANGEROUS or something? These people are UNDERPRIVILEGED and SUFFER FROM RACISM EVERY DAY and YOUR PRIVILEGE is showing, BIGOT!!!

B. Are you INSINUATING that there’s SOMETHING WRONG with MLK BOULEVARD? Huh? Are you SAYING that it’s DANGEROUS or something? These people are UNDERPRIVILEGED and SUFFER FROM RACISM EVERY DAY and YOUR PRIVILEGE is showing, BIGOT!!! *locks doors and rolls up windows*

C. Oh crap, this is a dangerous neighborhood. Let me turn around and get back to the freeway. Good thing I have that pepper spray in the glove compartment…

D. Buy drugs.

E. Oh crap, this is a dangerous neighborhood. Let me turn around and get back to the freeway. Good thing I have that pistol under my jacket…

5. What’s your firstborn’s name?

A. “Medical Waste”

B. Aiden

C. Alexander

D. >Implying I want kids

E. Arianna

6. In what kind of society would you be a conservative?

A. …That’s racist!

B. I believe that the revolution is a state of being.

C. You know, that’s an interesting question. I never thought about that…

D. I dunno. What if I wanted to smoke weed and not go to work? What if I wanted to get laid, man? I think if I could do all those things and still be a conservative, I’d be that.

E. A society with something to conserve.

How Did You Answer?

Mostly A's:

You are a true true believer. You don’t just drink the kool-aid, you chug it straight out of the vat. You're probably in college, have a  Tumblr blog, or working for the Cathedral in some capacity,  a journalist or grad student. If reality mugs you, you'll excuse reality for being underprivileged.

Mostly B's :

 You are a true believer. If aliens observed your behavior, they might conclude you were an undercover klansman who really likes recycling. You love to join left-wing progressive causes whose meetings look like a Norwegian Heritage conference crossed with a Seder.

You feel guilty for being white, but only enough to do some theatrical gesture that makes you feel better. You can explicitly condemn and implicitly endorse an idea without ever being aware of the contradiction. A housing project is just not environmentally sound in your neighborhood!

Mostly C's:

You’re a moderate leftist. You don’t like all that crazy stuff that’s so far out there, but you agree with most of the goals of leftism. Equality is good, human rights are good, but free speech is good too.

Maybe there’s a left-wing or centrist cause you support, but it’s probably nothing to do with identity politics or grievance-mongering. Mostly you just go with the flow.

Mostly D's

You’re a rice leftist. You love the weed, porn, easy sex, low standards, and lack of discipline that leftism demands. You drink the kool-aid because that’s what’s served at the party. If most of the hot chicks/alpha males in your area changed their tack, you probably would as well. You’re just one google search away from becoming a really bitter asshole.

Mostly E's

You're a leftist apostate.  If you had tenure or a trust fund, you'd burn the ears of every other leftist on this list. As it is, you’re probably muddling along, making the right gestures, and hoping the Day of the Rope comes during your lifetime.

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