Saturday, April 7, 2012

$10,000,000 Chandelier for Sale.......anybody?


Rosie O'Donnell Barred from MLB Parks

Chicago  - Coming close on the heels of  her much ballyhooed television talk show being canceled on the Oprah Winfrey's Cable Network, today Rosie O'Donnell was ejected from the first game of a Chicago Cubs Double header.

Seven people were treated for minor injuries and nineteen others treated for severe nausea after Ms. O'Donnell stood up during the 7th inning stretch, turned and flashed the crowd seated behind her box seat.  A loud gasp, then screams came from behind the first base dugout as people enjoyed the break in action.

Bob Glob , a season ticket holder for the past 21 years said " in all my days I have never seen anything that hideous displayed at a ball park since Rosanne Barr grabbed her nuts after screeching the National Anthem. Shit man, there were people yelling and running in all directions....puke flying everywhere." Tammie  Trimmer of near by Watson City said "it was the grossest thing  you can imagine. I broke out in a cold sweat and thought I was going to pass out. My little boy was screaming "is it over mommy.. make it go away!" He's traumatized and may have to seek professional help when he grows up."

Most fans were still too sick to speak to us , but  Henry Tumanela of south side Chicago told us "I spent two tours in Nam and saw some pretty scary stuff..but never like today when she opened up her coat. I'm still shaking and my vision has been blurred every since I looked in her direction."

A Major League spokesman said it unfortunate we have to bar Ms. O'Donnell from MLB parks but people who come to the ballpark to enjoy America's Great Past Time don't expect to be visually assaulted and puke up their $160.00 of refreshments from our full service concession stands conveniently located around the park.

Visiting pitcher, Juan Greenberg of the Minnesota Twins told us " Hell, I was about to climb up in the stands and throw the bitch out myself for thumping peanuts at me in the dugout and screaming that Madonna can throw harder then I can!"

Friday, April 6, 2012

Thursday, April 5, 2012

"A Creative Way to Support our President”

"This campaign is all about finding new ways to let everyone know you’re behind the President — and I can name more than two dozen American fashion designers who volunteered their time and talent because they feel the same way."

"By submitting your design, you’re making an important contribution to the campaign. The winning items will not only give folks a fashionable way to show their support for President Obama, they’ll help fund the work of organizers around the country."

"Some of America's most well known fashion designers have already volunteered their talents to help re-elect President Obama—are you ready to join them?"

Think they'll accept my submission?

Perfect for canvas bags, t-shirts and purses.
Available soon in Michelle O's Plus Plus size jeans pocket patch!

More Details Here

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Mo has Her Panties in a Wad Again

The Supreme Court, the Lefty's God's of social engineering who they have used numerous times to bypass the normal legislative process, is under attack by none other then her Highness MAUREEN DOWD. Her disdain for the Chief Justice is legendary. She seems to have gotten her panties in a wad and turned her poison pen towards the Supremes now that the court may rule in a way displeasing to the Queen of the New York Times.

"How dare President Obama brush back the Supreme Court like that?  Has this former constitutional law instructor no respect for our venerable system of checks and balances?"

 "Nah. And why should he?"

"This court, cosseted behind white marble pillars, out of reach of TV, accountable to no one once they give the last word, is well on its way to becoming one of the most divisive in modern American history.  It has squandered even the semi-illusion that it is the unbiased, honest guardian of the Constitution. It is run by hacks dressed up in black robes......"

Keep Reading....

Conservative Media / Bloggers Contributing to Low Self-Esteem of Donkeys

PETA Launches Jackass Campaign

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) announced today an ambitious new initiative aimed at changing the way people perceive Donkeys. The constant criticism of the Obama Administration as well as the democrat members of congress is having a detrimental effect on the American donkey/jackass, the traditional symbol of the Democrat party, a PETA spokesman said today.

The program was announced by PETA spokesperson Dharma  Windsong in an emotional, sometimes acrimonious press conference. “This represents a confident new direction for PETA. We’ve long focused on getting everybody to go vegetarian. That hasn’t worked out too well, yet.  Our new mission starts today, with encouraging everyone in the media to stop harming jackass's self-esteem  by criticizing and disparaging the words and actions of Democrats.”

The presentation was briefly interrupted by CNN’s Soledad O’Brien announcing loudly she’d just learned Tofu enchiladas were the buffet main menu item. Ms. O’Brien stormed out muttering something about “I’ll get you Anderson Cooper.”

Once order was restored, PETA spokesperson  Windsong  urged the few remaining journalists to consider O’Brien’s tirade a "teachable moment" in future conversations.

“Many of you would likely return home after this work day and tell your life partners ‘Soledad acted like a complete jackass today, wouldn’t you? Such statements are unfair to jackasses. That is what we are trying to express in our great leap forward. When a human behaves badly, don’t compare them to a jackass. After all, mules had nothing to do with Ms. O'Brien frustration about our delicious meat-free buffet.

Ms. Windsong  continued "Jackasses are especially withdrawn and upset at some conservative bloggers comedic use of the words and actions of the great statesman, Joe Biden, who has for years held the democrat's ass high with pride and integrity.

Clarified her organizations position on this pressing matter. “We can’t get everybody to go vegetarian until we stop the use of animal names as insults and criticizing politicians who stand proudly next to their parties symbol, the Ass. This comparison of bad human behavior with animals contributes to a perspective of animals as not quite human. We mean to stop it, starting with the jackass.”

The controversy is expected to continue, since now nobody knows what to call Alec Baldwin. 

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

His Royal Hinny

"The “great leader” model of the presidency is extraordinarily dangerous. President Obama proves it each and every day; it’s what gives him the power to tell our enemies that he’ll have more “flexibility” after his “last election.” He’s our leader; we’re his followers. It’s that easy to him."

By Ben Shapiro
America’s constitutional structure is built on checks and balances. The idea behind these checks and balances is simple: We want interest counteracting interest, ego counteracting ego. We don’t want any one person to gain too much power — or any one faction or any one way of thought.
 Gridlock, for lack of a better word, is good.
President Barack Obama, however, has a different idea. He believes that America must be fundamentally transformed. That fundamental transformation cannot be effectuated without a fundamental transformation of the system of American government.
No wonder, then, that President Obama declared war on the Supreme Court this week.
Now, there’s a case to be made that the Supreme Court should not have the power of judicial review. That case is basic: If the Supreme Court can strike down anything at any time in the name of the Constitution, that power elevates it above the other branches. The checks and balances break down. The argument against judicial review is an argument in favor of checks and balances, not against them.
But that’s not the argument Obama made. Instead, he argued that the Supreme Court should not strike down Obamacare, because that would be “unprecedented” and “extraordinary.” What’s so new about the Supreme Court’s doing what it’s been doing since 1803? Nothing, exactly, except that it would cut against Obama. In other words, judicial review is only bad when it rules against Obama.
The same holds true of Congress. Congress is great when it does what Obama wants. When it doesn’t, Obama wants the power to simply ignore it. He has repeatedly stated on various issues, “If Congress won’t act, I will.” He’s used his executive branch powers to appoint dozens of czars with Cabinet-level power but without Cabinet positions so that he doesn’t have to have them approved by Congress. He’s appointed officers in violation of the Constitution, wrongly maintaining that he has the right to do so.
In essence, Obama detests the checks and balances. He doesn’t like gridlock. It stops him from implementing his vision.
Though Obama’s power grab is unprecedented, his philosophy is not. It has roots in the progressivism of the early 20th century, when Woodrow Wilson ripped the Constitution as an archaic document that prevented him from crafting social change. He said the president should be a visionary rather than a mere vessel of the people. The president, he said, has to lead.
The “great leader” model of the presidency is extraordinarily dangerous. President Obama proves it each and every day; it’s what gives him the power to tell our enemies that he’ll have more “flexibility” after his “last election.” He’s our leader; we’re his followers. It’s that easy to him.
Fortunately, the Constitution doesn’t allow for such egotism acted out in policy. The Constitution requires checks and balances. It requires that we battle out each and every policy change, that we compromise, deadlock and stall. Getting things done is not so important as getting the right things done. And nobody has a monopoly on what the “right thing” is — no person and certainly no one branch of government.

Monday, April 2, 2012

It's Called 'Marbury v. Madison'

Dear Mr. President,
 Supposedly, you are some sort of constitutional scholar. At the very least, you can read, you can write, and despite being merely some sort of guest lecturer at the University of Chicago Law School, you once famously referred to yourself as a “Constitutional Law professor.”
Ringing a bell so far, Mr. President? Great.

Keep Reading.........


Sunday, April 1, 2012

Obama’s War on Families

And even as gas prices continue to rise......

It’s been apparent since the 2008 campaign that the Obama administration would be hostile towards coal. Based on the numbers from this article, it’s apparent that this administration is ideologically driven to cripple family budgets as a way of forcing green technology down the throats of America.
“Renewable” energy such as Solyndra-style projects, along with energy efficiency, is slated to spend $2.33 billion. There’s much, much more hidden away in corners of the budget. For example, the “Recovery Act” included a whopping $16.8 billion for the DOE office handling energy efficiency and renewables.
White House bias against the coal industry is even more apparent when you look at past federal budgets. Funding for coal technology is being trimmed down, slowly but surely. The amount provided for the current year is less than in any year since 2005. In fact, in FY 2010, the DOE received $404 million for coal projects.
The numbers highlight Obama obvious misplaced priorities. This administration will stumble all over itself in their attempt to fund failing companies based on questionable technologies but they'll cut off research grants for improving proven, reliable, energy sources.

That’s bad enough. This information indicates that it’s worse than the statistics indicate:

"During the administration of former President George W. Bush, it was a priority to help the utility industry find cleaner ways to burn coal. Then, the DOE touted a $1 billion Clean Coal Power Initiative. The Obama administration’s plan is to spend not one dime on it this year. Nothing."
"Not to worry, insists Obama. His energy plan won’t inflict serious damage on Americans’ budgets."
Why is this administration driving up electricity prices while subsidizing failing technologies while crippling reliable energy sources?

 We aren’t cleaning the planet either. While this administration cuts coal production, other countries are increasing their use of coal-fired power plants. The only thing that’s changed dramatically is Americans’ utility bills. Obama’s spin is that he's for an all-of-the-above energy policy. In reality, his crippling of the oil and coal industries indicates that he supports a none-of-the-above energy policy.

He couldn’t put together a more destructive energy policy for families if he tried.