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Friday, March 8, 2013
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Hackers Drop U.S. Government from List of High-Value Targets
Borowitz
Shanghai - In a rare announcement from a notoriously publicity-shy group, Chinese hackers revealed today that they were dropping the United States government from their official list of high-value targets.
“We have to allocate our time and energy to hacking powerful organizations,” a spokesman for the hackers said. “Right now, calling the United States government an organization would be a reach.” He added that the hackers’ ultimate goal had been to hurl the U.S. government into a state of abject paralysis, “and they seem to have already taken care of that on their own.”
The spokesman acknowledged that despite years of compromising U.S. government computers, the hackers had obtained little of value, especially on the hard drives of congressional offices.
“Those computers did not appear to be used for anything work-related,” the spokesman said. “Basically all we found were restaurant reservations and porn.”
U.S. stock markets plummeted on the news of the hackers’ downgrade, which was widely denounced by American politicians as a hostile act designed to cripple the economy. “This is an insult to the American people,” said House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Virginia). “We demand that the Chinese resume hacking us at once.” But according to the hackers spokesman, any chance that they might put the U.S. government back on their list of targets was remote at best.
“We need to focus on higher-functioning governments,” he said. “We’re taking a close look at Uruguay .”
“We have to allocate our time and energy to hacking powerful organizations,” a spokesman for the hackers said. “Right now, calling the United States government an organization would be a reach.” He added that the hackers’ ultimate goal had been to hurl the U.S. government into a state of abject paralysis, “and they seem to have already taken care of that on their own.”
The spokesman acknowledged that despite years of compromising U.S. government computers, the hackers had obtained little of value, especially on the hard drives of congressional offices.
“Those computers did not appear to be used for anything work-related,” the spokesman said. “Basically all we found were restaurant reservations and porn.”
U.S. stock markets plummeted on the news of the hackers’ downgrade, which was widely denounced by American politicians as a hostile act designed to cripple the economy. “This is an insult to the American people,” said House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Virginia). “We demand that the Chinese resume hacking us at once.” But according to the hackers spokesman, any chance that they might put the U.S. government back on their list of targets was remote at best.
“We need to focus on higher-functioning governments,” he said. “We’re taking a close look at Uruguay .”
US government Has Always Thought it Could Kill You
By Donald Sensing @ Sense of Events
"I have been following with some interest (though admittedly not closely) Rand Paul's filibuster of the nomination of John Brennan for CIA director. I admit that I support the filibuster and that many more answers are need from the administration about intelligence-related matters before this or any other nomination should proceed.
But on the topic of Attorney General Holder's letter about the circumstances under which the federal government might launch a drone strike against an American citizen inside the United States, a little historical perspective might be useful.
Holder can be justly accused of writing his response a bit stupidly, but in fact the US government has always considered it has the right to kill Americans inside America extra-judicially. Which president most recently claimed this power?....."
Keep Reading
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Tuesday, March 5, 2013
American Left Prepares to Mourn the Death of a Hero......
Hugo Bites the Dust
A Look Back at Some of Hugo's
Biggest Friends and Supporters.
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| Land Whale / Film maker - Michael Moore |
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| Moonbat Conspiracy Theorist / Film Maker - Oliver Stone
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| Presidential Impersonator Jimmy Carter |
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| Actor / Moonbat Danny Glover |
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| Hugo's favorite Worm- Madonna's ex-husband Sean Penn |
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| Harry 'one trick pony' Belafonte |
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| Batshit crazy Cindy Sheehan |
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| Batshit Crazy Naomi Campbell |
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| Musician / Actress / Junkie - Courtney Love |
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| And Of Course His Friends in Washington |
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| Tell me this doesn't look like a scene from the movie Scarface! |
.....and let's not forget the Loving Portrait of Hugo Chavez by the Nation Magazine.
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Let's Make this as Painful as Possible and Piss everybody Off...
White House Tours Canceled
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| I guess someone forgot the White House belongs to us! |
The Washington Times:
“Due to staffing reductions resulting from sequestration, we regret to inform you that White House Tours will be canceled effective Saturday, March 9, 2013 until further notice. Unfortunately, we will not be able to reschedule affected tours.”
At the Capitol, staffers who use the building’s West Front entrance that looks out on the National Mall were told Tuesday that door would be closed as of next week in order to save money.[SNIP]
Well, the people weren't allowed the wander around in Ceasar's palaces much either I guess.....
Never let a crisis go to waste….even if you have to make one up.
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A Low-Information Voter’s Guide to Politics
The People’s Cube
Are you typically lost when co-workers discuss current events around the water cooler? Do you have trouble figuring out the national debt or who that Ben Ghazi dude is, but you know exactly what’s on Britney Spears’ grocery list?
If you think you only deserve fun answers to all life’s questions… you’re right! This primer will help you look smart and morally superior in any political discussion. Just memorize these big words, explained in easy terms you already know from TMZ and The Daily Show:
BIASED: If you have a weird friend who goes to church and her parents are still married, that’s what they are.
ELECTIONS: These are like the Teen Choice Awards: the coolest and most popular wins. Democrats always win because they are cool and popular. Republicans are more like your weird friend’s parents.
DEMOCRATS: They are like Javier Bardem from that movie No Country For Old Men: super friendly, cool hair, quick with a joke, only wants what’s best for you and completely reasonable and rational if you disagree.
Are you typically lost when co-workers discuss current events around the water cooler? Do you have trouble figuring out the national debt or who that Ben Ghazi dude is, but you know exactly what’s on Britney Spears’ grocery list?
If you think you only deserve fun answers to all life’s questions… you’re right! This primer will help you look smart and morally superior in any political discussion. Just memorize these big words, explained in easy terms you already know from TMZ and The Daily Show:
BIASED: If you have a weird friend who goes to church and her parents are still married, that’s what they are.
ELECTIONS: These are like the Teen Choice Awards: the coolest and most popular wins. Democrats always win because they are cool and popular. Republicans are more like your weird friend’s parents.
DEMOCRATS: They are like Javier Bardem from that movie No Country For Old Men: super friendly, cool hair, quick with a joke, only wants what’s best for you and completely reasonable and rational if you disagree.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Deus Salva Noster Republic!!!
"A nation can survive its fools and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable for he is known and he carries his banners openly. But the traitor moves among those within the gates freely, his sly whispers rustling through all the alleys, heard in the very halls of government itself. For the traitor appears no traitor; he speaks in the accents familiar to his victims, and he wears their face and their garments, and he appeals to the baseness that lies deep in the hearts of all men. He rots the soul of a nation; he works secretly and unknown in the night to undermine the pillars of a city; he infects the body politic so that it can no longer resist. A murderer is less to be feared." — Cicero, 106 BC-43 BC
These words ring as true today as they did 2000 years ago.
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Friday, March 1, 2013
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