Obama Appoints Third Party Negotiator in Shutdown Standoff

MFNS - With Truckers invading the beltway, Veterans marching on the Mall and Americans impatient with the President, Barack Obama, fearful of falling poll numbers and the image of congressional Dems, put forth the idea of  a third party involvement in shut down negotiations.

B.J. Kesloski - Nation's Gatekeeper

Due to overwhelming concern over what might become of "the hill" in absence of anyone wanting to take responsibility, congressional leaders of both parties agreed to call a late night emergency vote on approval in the chambers of the Senate and House Saturday Night. 

Benjamin J. Kesloski, an unemployed step-son of a congressman who sincerely wished to remain anonymous, was voted “in charge” for the duration of the stalemate. 

His only condition was that everyone refer to him as "The Gatekeeper" for the rest of his life.

"Yeah, I know some people are worried about my work ethic," The Gatekeeper confessed. "But would a lazy person do this? (holds up unfinished diorama of Congress in the middle of the ocean) I think not. It’s a work in progress — like me. It’s also a metaphor."

With upwards of 800,000 federal workers out of jobs because of the government shutdown for the time being, public displeasure for public servants is at an all-time high. According to Mr. Kesloski, he is fully aware of the gravity of his situation and is doing whatever he can to end the stalemate and win back public support for democrats

"Today was intense. I held an impromptu session on the pros and cons of the president's health care system. I called it “Obamacare vs. Obama-idon’tcare”. I made a Harry Reid doll and a Boehner doll to represent the two sides, and somewhere in the middle Boehner doll jumped Harry Reid doll and ripped his arms off and started beating him with it. I was like, ‘Whoa Boehner doll. Whoa. That’s definitely not in Robert’s Rules of Order.’ And he just looked at me with his beady eyes and didn’t say anything, cuz he’s a doll you know…but talks will continue."

Image by Earl of Taint based on an idea from that leading American, stout Patriot

and fellow member of the Resistance, Bubba

How is the View from Your Ivory Tower, Mr. President??

No Shutdown for Government ‘Selfies’

MFNS - In turbulent times, a nation must look to those things that hold steady, remain true. Like the sailor’s northern star or the farmer’s spring rain or the DPRK’s Kim Jong Un, the American people–and its government–must find their constant.

But, if that doesn’t work, there’s always Twitter.

Like unemployment, the social phenomenon known as ‘selfies’–a candid picture of yourself sent across the virtual universe–is on the rise even in government circles.

“Hey! Reid just ‘liked’ my pic!” beamed the Vice President. “That old fart. I didn’t think he liked anything. You know, it’s amazing how quickly they’re responding to my posts–oh yeah, that’s right, the shutdown thing. Never mind.”

Social psychologists are noticing a correlation between government ineffectiveness and the rise in self-portraits.

“For many of these congressional leaders,” one psychologist offered, “It’s a real self-esteem boost. It’s also a way for them to keep their minds off of distracting things, like reality.”

Statistical tracking sites are recording a dramatic spike in social networking activity in the D.C. area and hosting websites such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are noting the highest numbers in ‘selfies’ since the Anthony Weiner era.

“Right now,” a spokesperson for Facebook confirmed, “ Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are gaining on Biden for the number one ‘selfie’ spot. Although, we do have one IP address that has definitely sent the most, but it’s mostly blured shots  and extreme close-up eye shots. We’re not sure, but it’s either the President or someone who has hacked his account.”

Times Gettin' Tough at the White House

White House Gift Shop Goes Tits Up

Washington Times

"In another sign of the tough times in Washington these days, the White House Gift Shop, long run by a nonprofit group that helps uniformed Secret Service officers and their families, has gone broke. The Secret Service Uniformed Division Benefit Fund, which traces its roots to the 1940s and for years did business as the official White House Gift Shop, lists more than $600,000 in liabilities in a pending bankruptcy petition in Washington....."

The fund disclosed tens of thousands of dollars in assets consisting mostly of Christmas decorations, as well as such trinkets as magnets, puzzles and paperweights, many valued at just a few dollars each. The price of more than 140 Democratic and Republican mouse pads is listed as “???” in court records, while 10 unsold copies of the book “Adams’ Alligator” go for $8.48.

The fund’s most recently available annual report to the Internal Revenue Service lists $10,550 in expenses in 2011 for golf, soccer and hockey tournaments for employees, $5,330 for luncheons for new graduates and their families and $1,108 for flowers and fruit baskets for hospitalized members and for funerals.

Although the fund placed the value of ornaments at more than $50,000, the trustee said the decorations ultimately could fetch a best offer price of a little more than $5,600...."

Little wonder a business that operates like the government, spending more than they take in, can stay solvent selling cheap Chinese made crap  like bobble head dolls of Barack and Michelle and mouse pads with Joe Bidens picture on them. And who the hell would want an over price ornament with  Michelle's ugly mug hanging from their Christmas Tree anyway. Guess they figured they'd eventually get  a taxpayer bailout slipped into some democrat's spending bill. 

 __________________

Fishnet Friday

Your Half a Billion Dollar Website

How do you spend over a half a billion dollars on a website, take over three years to build it, and still have a disastrous completely disastrous launch? You get the government to do it for you. The taxpayers, seem to have forked up well over $500 million of the federal purse to build the digital equivalent of a rock.

from Digital Trends

"The exact cost to build Healthcare.gov, according to U.S. government records, appears to have been $634,320,919, which we paid to a company you probably never heard of: CGI Federal. The company originally won the contract back in 2011, but at that time, the cost was expected to run “up to” $93.7 million – still a chunk of change, but nothing near where it apparently ended up.

Given the complicated nature of federal contracts, it’s difficult to make a direct comparison between the cost to develop Healthcare.gov and the amount of money spent building private online businesses. But for the sake of putting the monstrous amount of money into perspective, here are a few figures to chew on: Facebook, which received its first investment in June 2004, operated for a full six years before surpassing the $600 million mark in June 2010. Twitter, created in 2006, managed to get by with only $360.17 million in total funding until a $400 million boost in 2011. Instagram ginned up just $57.5 million in funding before Facebook bought it for (a staggering) $1 billion last year. And LinkedIn and Spotify, meanwhile, have only raised, respectively, $200 million and $288 million."

Read the Rest

You don’t have to be a programmer to understand that code like this is complete nonsense. The site is so poorly coded that it has essentially been attacking itself since its launch over a week ago.

And these people are supposed to provide us with “affordable healthcare”? They can’t even build a functioning website on budget. 

They expected 50,000 people to come to the site per day.  THAT is what these morons are trying to spin now.

'Dirty Jobs' Host Mike Rowe Zings Special Ed Schultz

"I Can Get You a Truck Before You Realize You're 'Canceled!"

"Viewers who watched Ed Schultz on Wednesday witnessed something rare on the liberal host's show: a guest who voted for Republican Mitt Romney in 2012. Dirty Jobs star Mike Rowe appeared and even got in a dig at Schultz's expense. After the MSNBC anchor touted his working class background and love for trucks, Rowe quipped, "I can make a call. I can have a truck in your driveway before you say, 'holy crap, I'm canceled!'

 A surprised Schultz blurted, "I'm just trying every time slot here at MSNBC." Rowe joked, "Something's bound to stick." Earlier in the segment, the Dirty Jobs host laughed as Schultz called for him to join the Democratic Party: "You know, he is the perfect independent that we have to convince that it's their Republicans fault!"

Here's the Transcript 

Moody’s busts Obama myth: “No direct connection between the debt limit and default”

Obama is the first President in history to oversee a downgrade of America’s credit rating, and if you remember, that downgrade came after Congress raised the debt ceiling the last time. This week Moody’s came out to dispel one of Obama’s top falsehoods about the debt limit.

from Washington Post:

In a memo being circulated on Capitol Hill Wednesday, Moody’s Investors Service offers “answers to frequently asked questions” about the government shutdown, now in its second week, and the federal debt limit. President Obama has said that, unless Congress acts to raise the $16.7 trillion limit by next Thursday, the nation will be at risk of default.

Not so, Moody’s says in the memo dated Oct. 7.

” We believe the government would continue to pay interest and principal on its debt even in the event that the debt limit is not raised, leaving its creditworthiness intact,” the memo says. “The debt limit restricts government expenditures to the amount of its incoming revenues; it does not prohibit the government from servicing its debt. There is no direct connection between the debt limit (actually the exhaustion of the Treasury’s extraordinary measures to raise funds) and a default.

The memo offers a starkly different view of the consequences of congressional inaction on the debt limit than is held by the White House, many policymakers and other financial analysts. During a press conference at the White House Tuesday, Obama said missing the Oct. 17 deadline would invite “economic chaos.”

Read the Rest

Without a debt limit increase, the Federal government would still have enough money to service our current debt and fulfill obligations to Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security.  The real risk of a credit downgrade or a default is caused by our long term debt (which currently sits around $17 Trillion), not from Obama’s legal ability to accrue more of it.

via  Poor Richard

Exclusive Hidden Camera Footage Of Obama AP Interview

By MFNS Investigative Correspondent The Earl of Taint

(Please note we are posting stills from the video portion of the evidence only. The audio was basically inaudible, due to the overwhelming background noise of some type of large carnivore savagely devouring its prey on the White House grounds. MFNS contracted at great expense with one of America’s leading lip-readers to transcribe the dialog into those balloon thingees, so our readers could follow the conversation.)

See the whole Interview Here

More Proof Harry Reid is a Space Alien

Reid complains to Politico about the Media  

Democrat Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is as crazy as a loon.  He’s a pro-abortion, pro-gay marriage, Morman from Las Vegas who thinks the media has a conservative bias. Geeze!

from Politico:

"And he argued that no objective analysis could conclude that Democrats are at fault for the shutdown given that he agreed to a lower spending level to win the support of Republicans, who later decided to tie the government funding battle to their long-standing demands to overhaul the health care law.

“You and other journalists have a real shortcoming in that you are trying so hard to be fair that you are unfair,” Reid said. “Democrats have had almost nothing to do with the problems here. It’s all Republicans......” 

So, Harry Reid thinks that the media isn’t doing their job because they’re not biased enough against Republicans? Also saying “it’s all Republicans” isn’t really a great way to find common ground across the aisle. The truth is that Harry Reid is a lying, vindictive, nasty little old man who doesn’t own a suit that fits him.

h/t Poor Richards News