Monday, April 14, 2014

The 12 Unspoken Rules For Being A Liberal


Via Young Conservatives 
1) You justify your beliefs about yourself by your status as a liberal, not your deeds. The most sexist liberal can think of himself as a feminist while the greediest liberal can think of himself as generous. This is because liberals define themselves as being compassionate, open minded, kind, pro-science and intelligent not based on their actions or achievements, but based on their ideology. This is one of the most psychologically appealing aspects of liberalism because it allows you to be an awful person while still thinking of yourself as better than everyone else.
2) You exempt yourself from your attacks on America: Ever notice that liberals don’t include themselves in their attacks on America? When they say, “This is a racist country,” or “,This is a mean country,” they certainly aren’t referring to themselves or people who hold their views. Even though liberals supported the KKK, slaughtering the Indians, and putting the Japanese in internment camps, when they criticize those things, it’s meant as an attack on everyone else EXCEPT LIBER1ALS. The only thing a liberal believes he can truly do wrong is to be insufficiently liberal.
KEEP READING 

A Good Monday Morning

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Obama Flexes His Muscle

During a telephone call with Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov, Secretary of State John Kerry "made clear" that if Russia did not take steps to de-escalate in eastern Ukraine and move its troops back from Ukraine's border, there would be additional consequences.  
The Consequences? Obama is sending Joe Biden  to Ukraine later this month. 
Biden's visit is meant to signal to Vladimir Putin the latest developments in eastern Ukraine, where pro-Russian separatists with the support of Moscow continue an orchestrated campaign of incitement and sabotage to destabilize the Ukrainian state, is unacceptable. 
Wonder if they will paint a red line down the middle of Biden's face......

Friday, April 11, 2014

Jimmy Carter Gives Hillary a Kick in the Cankles


Jimmy Carter, America's favorite 2nd worst President, known for unpresidential like criticism of his successors is still out there writing books, giving droning speeches and on an unending mission to rehabilitate his image, is almost as reliable as Joe Biden when it comes to buffoonish comments.  Among others, calling Barack Obama a "Black Boy" at the 2008 Democrat Convention. But like a clock that's right twice a day, he sometime blindly stumbles headlong into the truth. 

Case in point: Hillary Clinton.
Hillary Clinton took very little action as secretary of State to bring about peace. It was only John Kerry’s coming into office that reinitiated all these very important and crucial issues".
Spot on Jimmy! (be careful, there's a war on women going on ya know).
But then after kicking Hillary, he veers off into Jimmy Carter Land again and starts praising John Kerry and Obama's foreign policy".  
"John Kerry has been successful as Secretary of State because President Obama has been deeply involved in the foreign policy issues of his second term. Since he took over in early 2013 as America’s top diplomat, Kerry has made enormous strides in negotiating with the Israelis and Palestinians, and putting an interim nuclear deal with Iran into motion."
It could be age, but Jimmy doesn't seem to recall the embarrassing Syrian debacle, Putin thumbing his nose at Dear Leader and Kerry just last week whining after making a mess that "mid-east peace had gone Poof. If a peace process can go “poof,” it can’t have been much of a peace process to start with. 

I'm sure Jimmy will be good for a noteworthy comment or two leading up to the presidential primaries, especial if the 2016 Democrat nomination comes down to the party's two paragons of Foreign policy, Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden. Oh, what a debate that will be. 

Fishnet Friday


Thursday, April 10, 2014

Help a Brother Out: GET TAINTED!!

Unfortunately, my friend, comrade and sometime collaborator, the incomparable 'Earl of Taint' has hit a bump on the road of life. He got laid off his job. But Ladies and Gentleman, Earl isn't satisfied to sit around and rot. No Sir. Being quick of wit and motivated of mind, he opened up a venture of his own: Earl's Tainted Gear


Now guys, just imagine being out on the town with a most excellent one-off custom tee-shirt with a genuine original Earl of Taint photoshopped image riding high on your voluptuous lady friend's chest. And girls, just imagine sliding between the sheets with your man while wearing a pair of sexy Earl of Taint Pajamas. Ooooh! Makes me moist just thinkin' about it!

So y'all 'Get Tainted', and help us keep Earl off the public dole. Stop by Earl's Tainted Gear and pick something up for yourself, your sweetie, or your favorite liberal friend. Earl will do custom orders if you ask. 

Have Pant Suits - Will Travel

Publisher Simon & Schuster said Wednesday Hillary Clinton's will release a new book on  June 10  about her time flying around the world pretending to be Secretary of State, with candid reflections about key moments (?) during her time in office. Clinton's book has been widely anticipated by her supporters.

The former first lady and New York senator is already a best-selling author: Her 2003 memoir, "Living History," ( another book she didn't write) sold more than 1 million copies. 

The book will address the "rapidly changing and increasingly interdependent world" and 21st century challenges from "Crimea to climate change" and to help keep her name in the news as she teases the public while pretending to contemplate a second run for the White House. The volume  is said to contain "vivid personal anecdotes" about her relationship with Barack Obama and her behind-the-scenes interactions with world leaders (I especially can't wait for the part about being falling down drunk and knocking herself out boarding her flight).

As of now, no title has been chosen,(attention Big Fur Hat) but the title "112 Countries and It’s Still All About My Hair” has been floated as a working title. The book is still unfinished, some embellishments still to be made.

For those interested in the thoughts and machinations of someone with no major accomplishments in 5 years can visit  Simon & Schuster's  'Hillary Clinton Memoir Website' to be met with a scary (I've been warned) oversize mugshot of Hillary and pre-order the book HERE.

Not to be outdone, Clinton's chief rival for the democrat nomination in 2016, Vice President Joe Biden, is working on his own massive tome of his time as Senator and VP entitled "Smokin' Joe: The man Who Could Spell Potato"


 

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

In an effort to curb global warming, The Cow of the Future Project begins a quest to create the “Star Athlete” of the bovine world.



Defy the Narrative

If you were thinking I made that up, I didn’t. The story, complete with strap-on gas tanks for cows is here.
“A White House climate initiative has boosted a quixotic search for the “cow of the future”, a next-generation creature whose greenhouse gas emissions would be cut by anti-methane pills, burp scanners and gas backpacks.
Carbon dioxide from fossil fuels is the primary man-made gas warming the planet, but methane is far more potent and the US’s biggest source of it is its 88m cattle, which produce more than landfill sites, natural gas leaks or hydraulic fracturing.
The Obama administration’s launch last month of a plan to curb methane emissions has given fresh relevance to climate-friendly technologies for cattle that range from dietary supplements and DNA gut tests to strap-on gas tanks.....”
READ MORE 

Blue Ribbon Rat


Okay People, We're Officially Aberrants

For many years now, conservatives have secretly feared the day when science would identify us as aberrant. Sadly, that time has come. Found in in the pages of the liberal-leaning Mother Jones Magazine is  and a story about yet another attempt by scientists to chronicle the pathology of conservatism.


by John Kass
"Thanks to learned scientists, I’ve discovered that I suffer from the mental problem afflicting millions of Americans. It’s not really a disease. It’s more like a peculiarity, one that irritates polite society yet may be corrected with surgery to the frontal lobe.
According to research from professor John Hibbing at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, conservatives and liberals react differently to certain stimuli. Hibbing and his team have determined that conservatives dwell on negatives and have a stronger “disgust sensitivity” than do liberals.
This problem, researchers believe, could be genetic.
“So, if you have a negativity bias, and you focus more on the aversive and disgusting, then the world seems more threatening to you,” says the Mother Jones piece. “And thus, policies like supporting a stronger military, or being tougher on immigration, might feel very natural.”
Conservatives, perhaps foolishly, are the glass-is-half-empty people, always worrying about the Russians and China and what will happen to the Republic when the money runs out. As if.
And conservatives are anxious about the craziest things. For example, conservatives worry about Americans who use loud and chirpy voices to insist that they “have nothing to hide” and really don’t mind the National Security Agency snooping on every aspect of their lives.
Liberals focus on happy thoughts. One day it’s ballerinas, another day it could be the prospect of Congress doubling the federal income tax, or President Barack Obama being sworn in for a fifth term.
In 2002, scientists at the University of California, Berkeley (no bias there), studied the “psychology of conservatism.” According to a university press release, they found “the core” of conservatism is a “resistance to change and a tolerance for inequality.”
Does that mean conservatives are drooling racists? Or does it mean that they support the quaint American notion of meritocracy, which by definition leads to unequal outcomes?
Does it even matter anymore? "
READ MORE