Wednesday, January 2, 2019

The Infrequently Annual G.T. Awards

It's indeed been an interesting year, and since it's time for year-end honors,
 after a short hiatus we're again proud to drag out and present: 

Diogenes' 2nd 4th ...The Annual Golden Turd Awards.

The Soon Coveted Golden Turd Award
We haven't awarded The Annual GT awards for a while now, but after the past year we find this semi-distinguish honor ripe for the times. 2018 is finally in the books and despite the sniveling media's gleeful prognostications of disaster befalling the nation, the country survived the predicted apocalypse, otherwise known as the Trump presidency. We’re all still here although more people are employed and more people are keeping more of their hard-earned money. But that is not good enough for some.  The votes are tallied and we present our pick of those we really wish would be swept away to a far away galaxy and used for alien medical experiments - 2018's top obnoxious leftist/social justice vermin and recipients of the soon again to be coveted DMF Golden Turd Award.  

The Dan Rather Award for “Excellence” in Media:
Ladies and Gentlemen, We have a tie!
Fredo Cuomo and Don Lemon

These are two of the most obnoxious back to back on-air news personalities. Whether it is the sissified SJW pontificating from Lemon or the smarminess of 'Cuomo the Younger', they literally make one’s toes cramp up with their silly banter. According to Lemon, Trump could cure cancer tomorrow and it would be an indication of his white nationalistic tendencies, or the work of Russians. Then again, nobody really watches their drivel given CNN’s quickly tanking ratings.  
The Joe Biden Public Orator Award:
Alexandria Ocashew-Cortex

Allie from the Bronx (but raised in an upscale suburb)should be no surprise she is more than worthy of a GTA when Cornell University opened an exhibit of her footwear. She may be pleasant on the eyes, but harsh on the ears. Considering she won a race in which a sea slug running as a Democrat would have won, the outsized publicity afforded this member of Mensa (sarcasm intended) proves one thing: Boston University did a terrible job of educating this dolt. Fortunately, the recently knighted “future of the Democratic Party” will be around for the next two years providing ample fodder for ridicule. Perhaps, that is for the best. And to those who do not believe the opposition should be ridiculed, a big, sloppy raspberry to you! Pbfllltttt!!!! 

The Stuck on Stupid Award:
Alyssa Milano 

She managed to get her face and Twitter feed into just about everything this year. She even managed to get a seat at the Kavanaugh conformation circus at the invitation of Diane Feinstein. Whether it was gun control, feminism, MeToo… you name it, Milano was there ready with a comment or Tweet. Unfortunately, she proved herself to be a worldclass jackass with every comment and Tweet. She needs to concentrate on an acting class and lay off the social justice in 2019.

The “It Looked Better on Paper” Award: 
Michael Moore

Remember when the Michigan Land Whale's latest borefest of a documentary was supposed to bring down Trump once and for all? Remember, he suggested that the faithful surround the Capitol building, preventing Senators from entering and voting for Kavanaugh? As for his movie, he forgot one important thing: people have to see it first. They didn't. As for the second item, well… Kavanaugh was confirmed and sits on the Court. On the heals of a 2017 year ending bomb of a theater 'one-man-show', this makes Moore 0 for 2 in 2018. However, he does win hands down the award for most rotund jerk, although Bette Midler draggin' around a duffel bag full of double cream Oreos is giving him a run for the money in that category.

The Alec Baldwin Public Relations Award: 
Hillary Clinton

The hack queen of Chappaqua just will not go away. She is  still lashing out about losing the election in 2016 and just cannot seem to find an excuse she can stick with these days. Was it the Russians? Was it sexist voters? Was it that damn Electoral College thing? She needs to take a cue from the Evil Queen in Snow White and look in the mirror at why she lost. Her touted tour with her husband, serial groper and cigar aficionado Bill, was met with more empty seats than filled. That should tell her something.

The Helen Thomas Crazyass Anti-Semite Award:
The Leaders of the basket full of 'anti-penile /anti-white'
bigots known as "The Women's March." 

Nuff' Said! 

Outstanding Achievement in Celebrity Trump Derangement Syndrome: 
Group Award

The bearded and deranged Jim Carrey, a drunken Chelsea Handler, Kathy Griffith (yes..she’s still around), Steven Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Myers (was this guy ever funny?), Meat Head Reiner and bloated Rosie O’Donnell, among others. Throw in the entire cast of Saturday Night Live (save, perhaps, Keenan Thompson) and others out there to numerous to name..... like those two dickheads with British accents on Comedy Central and that really ugly Canadian chick on.....

The Amy Winehouse Lifetime Achievement Award:
David Hogg

More than a year after Parkland, Hogg remains in the headlines. He’s like a case of herpes that won’t go away. This pompadoured punk pimp of the gun control movement displayed his hypocrisy by hiring ARMED guards for his loser book tour. Well, you know…those crazy NRA members might want to take him out. It should be remembered that this kid came to prominence by hiding in a closet, cell phone in hand broadcasting on YouTube as students and faculty were being shot in another building. It is sort of verboten to poke fun at these survivors of a school shooting tragedy, but Hogg invites the scorn heaped upon him. Please…just go to Harvard and get that non-existent degree in Political Science and shut the hell up.

Monday, December 31, 2018

A Middle Finger Symphony New Years Eve

Here's To A Happy And Prosperous 2019 From DMF/MFST

Sheila Jackson Lee Wants Yo Apology and Money So Tyrone Don't Shoot Nobody

With the Democrats newly gained power in the House of Representatives, long time, entrenched members of the Caucus of Congressional Black Folks stand in line for important committee chairs and assignments. You can believe that we are going to witness a real show come next month and beyond. One such member is Texan Sheila Jackass-Lee, the black knucklehead named for a Confederate general, who thinks more trillions need to be stolen from the American taxpayer because, "slavery." This scam continues to gain steam as the non-white mob minorities and their self loathing sympathetic voices in academia and the media, use "White Privilege" as just another reason for the large percentage of of their population that refuse to get even a basic free education,  jack 7-11's and shoot each other.

IT IS NOT THE FAULT OF ANYONE BUT YOURSELVES that black males are the most violent people in the country. Taxpayer money won't do a damn thing to change that!

Educated Blacks excel in every area of mainstream American they choose participate.  Stop using slavery as an excuse for your failures as a people!!!
PJM - Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (Dumbass-Texas) told PJM that the federal government should conduct a study of reparations for descendants of slaves to be able to determine the best way to “repair some of the damage" that slavery has caused to the African-American community. 
Jackson Lee became the lead sponsor of H.R. 40, the Commission to Study and Develop Reparation Proposals for African-Americans Act, after Rep. John Conyers (D-Mich.) resigned from Congress. The legislation seeks to “address the fundamental injustice, cruelty, brutality, and inhumanity of slavery in the United States and the 13 American colonies between 1619 and 1865 and to establish a commission to study and consider a national apology and proposal for reparations for the institution of slavery.
“It’s a commission to study the issue of what was the economic impact of the work of slaves and how does it translate in the 21st century.   

A Good Monday Morning

Sunday, December 30, 2018

Middle Finger Symphony Sunday Evening Matinee

* No Tuxedos Required - Roach Clips Optional *

Just In Case You've Forgotten, This is For Whom the Song Was Written 

Saturday, December 29, 2018

John Kerry Believes In Border Wall Security - As Long As It Pertains To His Family's Palatial French Villa

 Earl of Ketchup - Duke of Heinz

Following the law is for the little people. Walls and enforcing secure borders is only for rich elites. That seems to be the conclusion as the family of John Kerry continues to fight rules about land access around the family's Palatial French Villa, while demanding that migrants, hikers and the great unwashed be kept away from their multi-million dollar property.

The former senator, presidential candidate, and least effective U.S. Secretary of State of the past 50 years, spends a significant amount of time at his family’s ancestral home in Saint-Briac-sur-Mer, (away from the crazy Heinz Ketchup Lady) along a pristine stretch of France's Brittany coast, where unicorns are born. Kerry's grandfather James Forbes bought the Essarts castle in Saint-Briac in 1928 and it has remained in the family since, being rebuilt as a villa after it was confiscated and later destroyed during World War II. Hikers demanding right of way along the pristine stretch of coast are locked in a legal war with the coastal villa owners in a posh resort town. Under French law the country’s coastlines must be accessible to all, similarly to Britain's "right to roam" rules.

But for decades Saint-Briac leaders have steadfastly refused to obey via a series of legal moves, in particular Brice Lalonde — Kerry’s first cousin. Now, the family of the liberal icon is doing everything they can to keep those pesky commoners and dirty migrants from stepping foot near their villa. The proposed path will "impact the well-being of residents by knocking down their walls and ruining their privacy," Lalonde told AFP in a statement. 

Kerry’s extended family is said to be worried about the “terrorist risks” of allowing common people onto the beach as French law requires, and fretted that “it will be fairly easy to target members of my family who are politically active. The same open-borders liberals declare that building walls to prevent illegal entry is racist — and don’t even think about suggesting that unrestricted migration or open access could be exploited by terrorists. But if you’re a powerful former senator or his wealthy family, none of that applies. Suddenly, walls are amazing and keeping people from walking near your property. That they could be terrorists is suddenly hugely important.

The hypocrisy and double-standards are just too much. One set of rules for thee, and one set for me. Liberal elitism has once again been exposed as a power-consolidating sham.

(Western Journal - CT)
(Agence France-Presse)

MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage~

Friday, December 28, 2018

Middle Finger Symphony Theater

* No Tuxedos Required *

Brought to You By BLUESJUNKY: Chair of Music - Middle Finger Symphony Music Director

Chuck Schumer: "Illegal immigration is wrong"

The Internet is Forever, Chuck....
There’s no doubt that Democrats will eventually cave on building Trump’s wall. The only question is when it’ll happen. Democrats have already admitted that what’s in effect isn’t working. They can’t hide the fact that they’ve voted for border wall funding previously. In fact, rather prominent Democrats have voted for a border wall, including Barky Obama, Hillary Clinton, Chuck Schumer, Dick Durbin and Dianne Feinstein. That same quintet voted to spend much more than the $5.7B. that DJT is asking for right now. DJT should tweet this info everyday!

Thursday, December 27, 2018

A New Year - A New You

I post this only as a public service. We here at DMF have always prided ourselves with unceasing efforts to help create a well informed citizenry, as with our ongoing Public Service Educational Crash Course Series. This was sent to me by one of our smart-ass loyal readers, whom I have a strong suspicion is divorced.........or soon will be.



Class 1:  Up in Winter, Down in Summer – How to Adjust a Thermostat Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs. beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2:  Which Takes More Energy – Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 3:  Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?–Group Debate. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 AM for 2 hours.
Class 4:  Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase–Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5:  Curling Irons–Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 6:  How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7:  Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos? Open Forum .. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8:  Health Watch–They Make Medicine for PMS – USE IT! Three nights; Monday , Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours. 
Class 9:  How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim. Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday’s noon , 2 hours.
Class 10:  Learning to Live–How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield . Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.
Class 11:  How to Shop by Yourself. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. 
Class 12:  I Was Wrong and He Was Right!–Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

MJA@IOWTReport for the Linkage!~