Chris Matthews tonight announced his retirement from MSNBC after twenty years with the network: "After a conversation with MSNBC, I decided last night will be my last Hardball." In other words, they called him out for being a creep. He said goodbye and walked off the set. But in honor of one media personality that never failed to give such rich and robust material to the conservative blogosphere, we look back on a few of Chris' highlights from years past.
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Chris Matthews to Donate Leg to Obama
MFNS -Washington - MSNBC political commentator Chris Matthews today announced he would proudly donate his famous "Tingling Leg" to the future Barack Obama Presidential Failure Library said to be planned for construction in Hawaii.
"Every since I made that statement on-air about the tingle up my leg the night of the election, the conservative bloggers have been shellacking me with it night and day!. So I plan when Barack leaves office to amputate it and donate it to the Obama Library and make all those bastards look like fools" Matthews told Middle Finger News.
Ask if he was absolutely serious about the statement he told us, "Look, we were indeed drinking heavily during commercial breaks in the election coverage, but on air I was sitting next to Rachel Maddow for Gods sake! And while she was wild eyed and had on a nice pair of fishnets and playing footsie under the table with Andrea Mitchell.... I know the tingle wasn't because of them! That was 100% adrenaline and admiration for Barack Obama because of the outcome of election night."
There has at this time been no official statement from the White House, but Press Secretary Jay Carney suggested the addition of the famous amputated leg, preserved in a glass case in the entrance to the future library would be an towering symbol of the love and support by members of the media for the 44th President in his heroic struggle to save America.
" Barack will get the leg when he leaves office.....I'll show those bastards!" said Matthews.
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Post Inaugural: Chris Matthews' MSNBC Panel Fawns Over Michelle Obama's.....Buttocks
MFNS-Washington DC.- In the final minutes of the MSNBC coverage of Donald Trump being sworn in as 45th President, in order to steer the subject away from Trump, Chris Matthews invited several of the network’s past and present commentators who covered the Obamas over the last 8 years to pay tribute to former First Lady Michelle Obama.
It was classic Chris Matthews MSNBC lunacy.....
CHRIS MATTHEWS: A couple of days ago the remarkable Michelle Obama celebrated her 53th birthday. I thought we would end tonight’s show by taking a few moments to reflect upon a sensational African American first lady. Ed Schultz, my good union friend, your thoughts on our gracious former first lady.
ED SCHULTZ: I know that she’s a beautiful lady, Chris. I can tell you that.
MATTHEWS: So you wouldn’t kick her out of bed for
SCHULTZ: For eating crackers? Heck no. She can eat all the crackers she wants. Hell, she can eat a greasy double cheeseburger with a side order of cheesy fries and wipe her hands on the sheets.
AL SHARPTON: (smiling) What would a good lookin’ Black African American woman of color be doing in bed with a fat white boy like you, Ed?
SCHULTZ: (laughing) Hey, even fat white boys have fantasies.
SHARPTON: Are you frantrasizing about Michelle Obama or the double cheeseburger?
MATTHEWS: What about you, Rachel. You’re a lesbian, would you kick the first lady out of bed?