Friday, February 11, 2022

Middle Finger Symphony Theater

 ~ NO TUXEDOS REQUIRED ~

Brought To You By BLUESJUNKY: Middle Finger Symphony Music Chair of Music

Thursday, February 10, 2022

Standing Up to Pee Gives Boys an Unfair Advantage in Physics 🧐

Yes, you read the headline correctly. In the latest example of gender politics taken to its absurd end, three Australian college professors believe that "playful urination practices may give boys an advantage over girls when it comes to understanding physics."

The three professors didn't publish their thoughts on a satirical website.  They published on Tes, a website that provides "educational materials, jobs, news, and courses from the world's best community of teachers and school leaders."

In the article entitled "Taking the pee out of physics: how boys are getting a leg-up", Anna Wilson, Kate Wilson, and David Low argue with a straight face that peeing standing up provides an advantage for boys over girls. Explaining what prompted their conclusion about the advantages peeing standing up gives boys, the professors write,
"The gender gap in physics, and other related subjects including engineering, has long been a cause for concern."
After casually going through a list of possible explanations for why young women might not perform as well in physics as do young men — things like lack of female physics teachers, cultural pressure and expectations, and gender bias in the teaching materials — they conclude: "there may be another reason, too." 

The Age Old Secret of Patriarchal Dominance - The Projectile Arc

After noting that girls lag in areas of physics that deal with projectile motion, the article reveals:
"Like many parents of small (and not-so-small) boys, two of us (KW and DL) have observed the great delight young males take in urination, a process by which they produce and direct a visible projectile arc." 
Laying further groundwork for the assertion that standing up to pee aids in learning physics, the three detail the ways in which peeing standing up is a central yet fun part of the male life:
"The fact that boys (and men) play with their ability to projectile pee is hardly contentious. Boys are trained to pee into toilet bowls with floating targets, a huge variety of which can be bought on Amazon; Amsterdam Airport Schiphol famously cleaned up its urinals by encouraging men to hit flies etched next to the drain. 
All this is experienced up to five times a day, so by 14, boys have had the opportunity to play with projectile motion around 10,000 times. And 14 is when many children meet formalized physics in the form of projectile motion and Newton’s equations of motion for the first time."
__________________________________________________

So according to the three esteemed college professors, peeing standing up is not only a "delightful" activity for boys (who I have been told take to an entirely different level of activity on a regular basis as they get older) but also gives boys an intellectual advantage over girls also.  But to their credit they do acknowledge that "there is no simple way to provide girls with the same opportunities for exploring projectile motion" that boys have. While the authors of the article don't propose it, in today's world it may not be a stretch to assume that the next step for progressives pursuit of equality and social justice on college campus would be to make it illegal for men to pee standing up.....
🙃

H/T Konan The Bar Baron

Wednesday, February 9, 2022

Your Official Semi-World Famous Irredeemable Mid-Week Open Thread

Your Beloved Blog Editrix Turns Things Over to You, the Readers.
 You May Talk Among Yourselves.


Tuesday, February 8, 2022

North Korea Dominates Olympic Gold


MFNS Pyongyang - Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un made a rare appearance on Nork TV today to congratulate the North Korean Olympic Team on their dominate performance so far in the opening week of the Beijing Olympic games.

Kim told the North Korean people their Supreme Leader "was confident the Nork Team will once again demonstrate to the world the strength and superiority of the North Korean people and their Olympic athletes."  Kim assured the people the blackout of the Olympic telecast in the country is in retaliation of the DPRK long historic domination of the games.

DPRK News Official Metal Count:
  
Supreme Leader Kim did give comfort to his people's discrimination as being saved the "annoying voice of bubble head commentators drone on in painful detail about heroic human interest stories like a part Mandarin, part Nigerian athlete with 25 brothers and sisters, who lived in a tree and overcame a debilitating childhood disease like infantile toe fungus to become a 400 meter Ice Hurdler and a unworthy faux hero to people of color the world over."  Or having to experience the "space alien looking Tara Lipinski and her freakishly flaming gay side-kick" who acts like he dropped acid and raided Cindy Crawford's makeup kit, and dresses like he broke into the Liberace Museum as they do their snarky commentary on ice dancing which Supreme Leader Kim called "a public display of erotic fetishes involving skates, and not true sport."  

And according to the Official DPRK News Agency:
"American Government Puppet, Jo Biden, who touts himself as the "Nations Largest Athletic Supporter", said yesterday at a joint news conference with German guy, that he can't wait till the gymnastics start. "I'm a big fan of gymnastical matches and our guys and gals in tights".
Developing:

Saturday, February 5, 2022

Just a Shameless Punchline at This Point.


With Jeff Zucker gone, the crew that CNN used to attack “misinformation” and worked to silence rival outlets is suddenly vulnerable.  Zucker, Brian Stelter, Oliver Darcy, and others took “cancel culture,” once the preserve of left-wing universities, and “normalized” it for political and pecuniary gain.  Stelter, who turned the name 'Reliable Sources' into a cruel irony, worked with reporter Darcy and others to do the dirty work and actively sought to censor and smear other news outlets and content creators, cloaking its efforts in the noble garb of supposed fights against “disinformation.”

The Karma Bus is fueling up.
  
More on the Subject Here & Here

~ Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS & Gator Doug@Daily Gator for the Linkage! ~

Friday, February 4, 2022

Thursday, February 3, 2022

Your Official Semi-World Famous Irredeemable Mid-Week Open Thread

Your Beloved Blog Editrix Turns Things Over to You, the Readers.
Please Keep All Weapons In Plain Sight 
____________________________________

This Week Your Hump Day Open Thread Is Sponsored By:
Leonid & Sanjay's Mexican Restaurant
and Chinese Grocery
Loveliest Senoritas in Iowa Serve Our Famous Atomic Burritos 

 "That's Some Serious Gourmet Shit" - Jules Winnfield"

Wednesday, February 2, 2022

RCP - 46* Now Officially Less Popular Than 45. And It Only Took Him a Year.


Without the major newspapers, the hateful twitter mobs and 5 major networks pounding away at him 24/7- 365, the man that loveth ice cream and the media proclaimed as another "Lincoln," ready to “hug” and heal the nation is now less liked than his predecessor.
"As of February 1, 2022, Biden’s Real Clear Politics (RCP) average of all the polls showed him at 41.4 percent approval and 54.7 percent disapproval. 
Exactly four years ago, on February 1, 2018, Trump’s RCP average stood at 41.5 percent approval and 54.5 percent disapproval."
As 46's* progressive circus begins to crumble, it's become less realistic for the media to ignore reality and pretend that Biden is popular.  So, they don't try. And while 46* enjoyed worshipful media reporting, both in the campaign 'Hunker in the Bunker", and during his first year, much of the coverage now acknowledges things aren’t going well, but still won't admit the self-inflicted damage and downplay or ignore the most explicitly bad numbers for Biden.

46* is now, officially, historically unpopular, and more unpopular than 45.  In 2017, the networks gleefully noted that polls found DJT “unfit to serve,” that people were embarrassed to have him as president.” Yet Biden’s numbers are equally horrific.

Maybe it’s time now for all the apocalyptic, nightmarish polling language journalists used to describe DJT's media driven unpopularity to be brought back and applied to Joe Biden. That is, of course, if journalists wanted to be honest.

[Real Clear Politics]
[Media Research Center]

Tuesday, February 1, 2022

DMF/MFNS Celebrate Black History Month

By MFNS Free Lance Leisure and Horticulture Reporter Roach Clip Johnson Jr.
Founder/Editor Emeritus of The Hawaiian Maui Wowie Free Press

Editor's Note - This is a first in a series by Middle Finger News celebrating Black History Month (well that is if we decide to do more, we have other things to do like y'all ya know).

As we all know, and will surely be reminded ad nauseam for the next 28 days, it's Black History Month. So we begin our series with a true black American success story of a man named Barry.

Barry was born, it is believed, somewhere in the southern hemisphere during the dark backward days of the 1960's.  Barry began growing up a very confused young boy.  His mother was white, his father was a Kenyan and had been married to another woman he abandoned before he abandoned Barry's mother, and Barry's step-father was Indonesian.  He was living in an Asian culture, going to a Catholic school and surrounded by Muslims. To top it off, later everyone kept telling Barry he was a Black African American Negro of Color.  

While playing with balls was one of his favorite activities, Barry struggled mightily at sports, being left-handed and somewhat uncoordinated, something that would follow him his entire life. But what he lacked on the playground he made up in charm. At the age of ten, Barry was shipped off by his mother to live under the thumb of his white communist oriented maternal grandparents in the white supremacist world of the United states. While growing up in Hawaii Barry felt the sting of overt racism all through his teen years.



Barry escaped the bigotry and oppression of America by turning to drugs with the few friends he made in high school. They formed the now legendary drug syndicate "The Choom Gang."  But Barry did managed to get through the haze and racism to graduate high school and fled his oppressors in Hawaii to the mainland and enrolled in the small leftist Occidental College in Los Angles. 


Barry adopted his father's full African name "Barack Hussein Obama" in order secure a place in the foreign student quota, minority boosted entrance exam scores, as well as preferred affirmative action placement at Columbia University.

After Graduation he went to work for "The Man" at  The Public Interest Research Group in Chicago. There he began a life of activism that he would become most known for. Barry managed somehow to get into Harvard Law School in the fall of 1988. In 1991 he moved back to Chicago and did some community organizing on the side while writing his first book, a fanciful fictional biography call "Dreams From My Fathers" or something like that. 

While in Chicago in 1989 Barry meet a rather large and unattractive south side girl he first mistook as a man named Michelle, who took little interest in the big eared community organizer. They shared little outside of same sexual preference. They tied the knot in 1992. 




Finding it difficult to satisfy the appetite of Michelle who was eating him out of house and home, Barry joined Davis, Miner, Barnhill & Galland, a law firm specializing in civil rights litigation and general mayhem in the state courts to help pay the feed bill.  But in 1995 Barry scored big cheese with his manuscript of the "Dreams from My Father" to the tune of 1.6 million and he and Michele moved on up like the Jeffersons to Hyde Park in Chicago. 

Barry went on to be considered one of Chicago's most celebrated Community Organizers, best known for his efforts in registering over 160,000 low-information voters all across Chicago who were too damn lazy to get their ass on a bus and go down to the courthouse and sign up to vote.

We salute Barry Soetoro, a true Black History Success Story.