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With the announcement yesterday that Hugh Hefner will no longer publish the traditional nude photos that made Playboy Magazine one of the most read publications in print history, the need to take up the slack for that audience presents mounds of opportunity. As of today, the board of DMF/MFNS are in hard discussion about the possibility of Middle Finger News going to fully nude reporting. 

We value our reader opinions and your comments on the possible change are welcome.  As always, we strive to bring the most unbiased, titillating and exciting news and views as possible to our readers.

Old People Yelling and Hillary Tells a Truth

Besides the expected old people yellin' about Republicans and Bernie Sanders looking like he should be angrily stamping your Property Tax Assessment, last nights debate did have one surprise I think no one saw coming.  It is indeed a historical moment in politics when someone named Clinton actually utters a verifiable truth. Hillary shocked the world last night by speaking about one particular topic. She has a vagina.

ANDERSON COOPER: Secretary Clinton, how would you not be a third term of President Obama?

CLINTON: Well, I think that’s pretty obvious. I think being the first woman president would be quite a change from the presidents we’ve had up until this point, including President Obama.

She mentioned nothing of foreign policy, the economy, or even unemployment. She basically said, “I am a woman. I have a vagina and that makes me better because Barack Obama does not have a vagina, but I do.” Maybe someone should clue her in on the fact that our current commander-in-chief doesn’t seem to have any balls, so being a woman doesn’t make her that different from Obama. (One wonders if she's seen those shots of him on a bike in Martha's Vineyard? She might be surprised at how not at all novel her gender-based qualification really is).

Hillary obviously “won” for her brilliant ability to answer questions without really answering them at all and because, well, she’s a woman, so that automatically makes her more qualified than anyone else on the stage. Just ask her, and she’ll tell you. Actually, you don’t even have to ask her, she’ll still tell you, over and over again.

The Democrats' Presidential Debate Schedule:

Drama over Tuesday night's Democratic debate has disinterred an important question from liberals: Why is the party establishment so scared of having voters see their presidential candidates on TV?

The Democrats have limited the number of their debates to just six, compared to the Republicans' eleven. Even worse, they've scheduled them for time slots when few other than hardcore supporters will watch. They'll be like those Potemkin debates in the Senate that you see on C-SPAN, in which a senator is on screen proclaiming rhetorically as though to a crowd, when everyone knows that the chamber is empty and he or she is doing it just for TV.  

Last Night's debate will be the most accessible of the lot even though it was scheduled to begin during Game Four of a drama-filled Mets-Dodgers National League Division Series. The next debate is scheduled for a College Football Saturday night in November. The third is scheduled for the Saturday before Christmas. The fourth takes place during a three-day weekend in January.

Moonbats Officially Take The Field Tonight

The Democrats' debate is still being called a debate because "let's see who can promise more taxpayer-funded free stuff" is just too long.

— WH PRESS SECRETARY (@weknowwhatsbest) October 13, 2015

All are expected to receive a nice Participation Trophy for their efforts.  

Secret Service Questions White House Staff About Notorious Photo-Bomber

Immigration According to Muhammad’s Teachings

The concept of Muslim immigration began with Islam’s prophet. Soon after Muhammad arrived to Yathrib (Medina) together with his close friend and father of his wife Aisha, Abu Bakr, they were joined by a ring of other friends and followers, known in Islamic history as “Companions.” They formed in Medina the first body of Muslim immigrants in history and very soon changed the face of Medina, making it the city of the victorious Islam. Immigration transformed Muslims from weak and scattered groups of individuals loyal to their religious leader, into a consolidated army, then a united community and finally, into a socio-religious political state. If Muhammad and his group had never immigrated to Yathrib in 622 AD, there would never have been any Islamic social, economic and political expansion.

Muslims learned and remembered this lesson, and since then the concept of Hijrah- Immigration- as a means of supplanting the native population and reaching the position of power became a well-developed doctrine in Islam. Immigration in Islam is not a Western liberal romance about how the newcomers gratefully search for opportunities for a better life in liberty and offer their talents and loyalty to the benefit of their new homeland. Immigration as Islam sees it is an instrument of Islamic expansionism that employs religious and ethnic separatism in order to gain special status and privilege, then subvert, subdue, and subjugate non-Muslim societies and pave the way for their total Islamization and implementation of Shari’ah law.

The main principle for a Muslim community in a non-Muslim country is that it must be separate and distinct. Already in the Charter of Medina, Muhammad outlined the basic rule for Muslims who emigrate to non-Muslim land, i.e., they must form a separate body, keeping their own laws and making the host country comply with them:

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