Wednesday, November 30, 2022

Your Official Almost Semi-World Famous Irredeemable Mid-Week Open Thread

Your Beloved Blog Editrix Turns Things Over To You, The Reader.
So Don Your Blogging Thongs, Share Ye Links and Bicker.
As Always, Keep All Weapons In Plain Sight.

This Week, Your Glorious Exercise in Free Speech is Sponsored By:
Shempley's Department Store.
"Where A Real Man Of Action Shops." 

Tuesday, November 29, 2022

WH Spox: To Much Free Speech Going On Up in Here.

In the continuing saga of the Biden administration being on the wrong side of absolutely everything, White House Manure Spreader, Karen Jong-Pierre, made it clear that they intend to pressure social media platforms like Twitter to censor speech, presumably of the conservative variety. 

KJP made these remarks today in a press gaggle on Air Force One as the president headed to a campaign stop in Michigan. As the audio from the gaggle indicates, KJP was asked about her remarks yesterday that the White House would be “monitoring” the situation at Twitter in the wake of Elon Musk taking over. Their concern, of course, is that Musk is reinstating once-banned accounts, lifting shadow bans, and generally letting that thing we call free speech thrive on his platform. A platform libs thought they owned.

Sister Toldjah had some thoughts on KJP’s remarks from yesterday, correctly noting:
Simply put, any communication tool that Democrats can’t in some way control presents an existential threat to their future as a party. So therefore that tool must be targeted for cancellation.

Remember, kids, it’s only “hate speech and misinformation” if a Republican or conservative says it. 

Friday, November 25, 2022

Middle Finger Symphony Theater

 ~ No Tuxedos Required ~

Brought To You By BLUESJUNKY: Middle Finger Symphony Chair of Music

Thursday, November 24, 2022

Your Obligatory "I Ate and Drank Too Much And Now I'm Miserable" Turkey Day Open Thread

And to help add some joy to your bloat and gassiness - A Thanksgiving Special 

Discredited high school history teacher, James O'Flannery, describes the origins of AMERICA'S most beloved holiday, mostly without profanity and while sober (we think).

This should be required viewing for grades K - Your Grown Ass. 🧐🤣

h/t That VANDERLEUN Fellow


Wednesday, November 23, 2022

Woke Journalists and Their Transphobic Server

Big-name journalists we all love to hate, as well as many you’ve never heard of, loved their gatekeeping role on Twitter. They decided what you were permitted to know, and Twitter played along, happy to enforce the Mean Girls’ rules on their behalf.  But freedom of speech has returned to Twitter under Elon Musk, and journos are desperate for a new digital meeting place where they’re the Mean Girls clique once more.

So they turned to Mastodon, a totally Woke (and decentralized) social media platform of individual servers, where NPR’s Adam Davidson set up the server for like-minded media wokesters.  According to NYT, there are something like 2,000 members who have to prove who they are in order to join. A safe space to call people Nazis.  But not all is well in liberal paradise:
"Journalists signing up on mastodon at the jou. rna[.]host server should know that through no deliberate fault, the server has quickly gained a reputation for transphobia and has been widely banned/blocked." - Vox.
So is getting blocked by other Mastodon servers, effectively trapping our would-be gatekeepers behind a gate of their own doing. [enter laugh track here]

It’s all very technical, but the readers digest version is that it started with a New York radio host named “Mike Pesca, fired from the sleazy website 'Slate' for defending his right to use the word 'nigger', posted a transphobic NYT article and allegedly the first thing the journa[.]host mods did was ban another user for complaining that they hadn’t banned Pesca.” Mastodon is so touchy that it somehow managed to find a NYT article transphobic. 🤣🤣🤣 

Chaos ensued when a super woke transgender writer named Parker Molloy got itself suspended from for a digital shouting match and pissing contest, ending with Molloy calling Pesca an “utter hack.” 🙃 And down the hill it goes.......

But the upshot is that a whole bunch of woke journalists, in trying to flee Musk’s “oppressive” Twitter, somehow got their server labeled transphobic, and now they’re fighting one another like it’s the Hunger Games, and may the odds be never in your favor.

Maybe this is just the natural and unavoidable result of putting insanely powerful digital tools in the hands of overprivileged Karens with the manners of hangry toddlers.  Meanwhile, traffic and user interaction are way up, according to Elon Musk, on the Tweeter that those screeching journos are trying to replace.

But there's more. Mastodon is not the end of the story, because it looks like our refugee journos are also trying 'Hive', which looks like it might just be the FTX of social media platforms.

It would take a heart of stone not to laugh.
I know I'm not the only one who gets a vision of an adrift lifeboat full of filthy, thirst craven journalist looking for a deserted island of safety. 🤣


Tuesday, November 22, 2022

Jealous Rage at the Shoet-Yuu Education Camp

NORK NEWS - As reported by the Middle Finger News Service North Korean Bureau Friday, controversy raged last week after pictures leaked of DPRK Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un and his daughter, previously unseen by the public.  Kim's daughter, Kim Ju-ae (roughly translated "Portabella Brianna Kim") is shown walking hand in hand with Mr. Kim in the leaked image.  

The controversy centered around the young Kim's schoolmates when it was reveled she was not only allowed a coming out party, but among the lavish presents, her own portable ICBM with matching mobile launcher said to be engrave with "From your Loving Supreme Leader,Daddy". (Look Down)

Portabella & Flathead Kim

A jealous fever turned to near riotous conditions ensued after the news overcame the all female student body of the Shoet-Yuu Finishing School and Education Camp over the blatant privilege of their classmate, Kim. The latest word is the situation is said to have been handled with delicate negotiation by the school's armed Internal Security and school's perimeter armored guard.

The mysterious North Korean Shoet-Yuu Education Camp, is safely isolated somewhere in the heavily forested northern mountains.

At age 3, and without outside distractions of family for the next 12 years, select young Korean girls are given an elite, sterile, world class Korean education.  Then at age 15 returned to society as an example of the Superiority of North Korean culture and to be married and stand in full support of their committee chosen brave husband warrior & defender of Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea. 

In a side note: US Teacher's Union leader, Randy Weingarten, has expressed interest in visiting the Shoet-Yuu Education Camp facility to take notes on the Korean model for improving the American education system.

Monday, November 21, 2022

Most Interesting Job in Government : Joe Biden's Sign Language Interpreter

A usually lighthearted moment that a lot of Americans watch on the nightly news every year, this year’s WH Thanksgiving Turkey pardoning ceremony on the South Lawn was so strange that even the sign language interpreter who appeared next to Biden on the White House video feed seemed momentarily but genuinely shocked.

After pardoning turkeys Biden turned to Ronnie Parker of Circle S Ranch in Monroe, North Carolina, who raised the birds: “How many turkeys you got down there — you raising?” Parker replied "about nine and a half million turkeys a year.”

Biden, seemingly stunned by the high number, immediately made a comparison that those watching had a tough time deciphering — and his response left sign language interpreter Elsie Stecker with her mouth wide open.
After he made the comment, whose meaning nobody seemed able to comprehend, the president immediately turned to the turkey on the table as asked

“And the — anyway. You wanna talk?”

There was no fowl comment from the birds as they were quickly whisked away to safety. 

A Good Monday Morning

Saturday, November 19, 2022

Courtney's Sunday Choice Open Tabs Just For You. Consequently, Your Participation is Required.

Courtney is Judging You

About 90 minutes after midnight, it all went sideways when the discussion turned to transsexuals and women’s rights. The guests were young, but she’d worked with them long enough to be comfortable with the idea of unwinding with them late into the night......."

Through her lawyer, Kay found out her managers thought she “would need to be re-educated.” These fascists discussed sending her to re-education programs such as those offered by something called Mermaids and another something called Gendered Intelligence.  (These are the type of people who will demand you deny your maker one day)

There is nothing funnier than watching leftist Punchinellos beclown themselves: Remember when the FBI raided Trump’s home supposedly looking for “nuclear secrets” a few months back? Guess how that turned out? (Please forward this article to your liberal sister harpy-in-law and her blue-haired, trans-pansexual, gelding lady-boyfriend who clung like sad, tragic barnacles to the embarrassing lie that Trump was trying to sell nuclear missiles to the Kaiser — or whatever it is they needed to believe.)

 It really is all about that Bass. "We looked at things like what kinds of rhythms most pull people into that steady beat that we groove along with, and what kinds of interesting, syncopated, complex rhythms make us really drawn in and want to move. The lab for this experiment wasn't the classic fluorescent lights, white coats and goggles setup.  (Reader Beware: let it be known that your Blog Editrix is capable at any time of exercising tremendous power over the reader by mesmerizing them into tribal rhythmical ecstasy with a fretless Alembic - You Have been warned)

Although this could be perceived as a long-standing myth, a German intercourse researcher called Dr. Werner Habermehl apparently conducted several studies that supported this assumption. (Being born of the Auburn persuasion, I tend to agree with most of his points). 

Thank You Mo for saving use from your obvious ghetto girl side. We know it was difficult......

Friday, November 18, 2022

Middle Finger Symphony Theater

 ~ No Tuxedos Required ~

Brought To You By BLUESJUNKY: Middle Finger Symphony Chair of Music

~ Thank You MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage! ~

Thursday, November 17, 2022

Throwback Thursday: Horrific Night House Chamber Was Temporarily Evacuated

From the Middle Finger News Service Archives - Jan 2017

MFNS-WASHINGTON DC - Late Friday night near panic struck the Chamber of the House of Representatives during a debate before those present of a bill sponsored by democrats for $350 Billon in federal funding for the construction of "Transgender Only Driving Lines" within California's Federal Highway system. The bill was Sponsored by House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Cal.) 

The debate was interrupted when House Speaker Paul Ryan notice Pelosi, at the dais at the time, head began to violently quiver from side to side. Middle Finger News Congressional Correspondent, Ima Gonagetu spoke to Speaker Ryan after the incident:
"I knew something was wrong when Minority Leader Pelosi began slurring her words and her face began to contort and could hear a metallic popping sounds...... and then heard the House Clerk scream and saw blood gushing from her forearm as she passed out and fell face first onto her desk....... I yelled THERE SHE BLOWS and ran for the door....."
What many who worked closely with Pelosi over the years feared would someday happen, happened. The permanent metal staples from her numerous massive face-lifts had begun to come loose. There was shrapnel in the air.

Along with the House Clerk, others wounded included the august Rep. John Lewis (D-Ga.) who survived a flying staple injury on the cheek. 
"I'm Okay. I feel honored to have shed blood in this hallowed hall in an honorable cause for our Transgendered brothers and sisters....or huh... honored as when I got my head bashed in with a brick doing up some trouble during the Civil Rights movement." 
The few in congress who were there ignoring Pelosi's speech ducked under their desk for cover while others ran for the door. Many of the members later found metal staples lodge in their suit coats.

One such Congressman was Rep. Bullet-Head Elijah Cummings (D-Md.) who told us of his harrowing experience: 
"There was fear in the air when everyone realized what was going on. I hadn't been that scared since last time I walked through my district in Baltimore! It was scary I tell you!" 
Minority Leader Pelosi was restrained and removed from the House floor, later to be spotted exiting a black SUV at Walter Reed Army Hospital with a large Walmart bag over her head.


Wednesday, November 16, 2022

Okay, He's Running. Your Thoughts...

NOTE: As Always, All Opinions Are Welcome Here. Stimulating Debate Is Not Discouraged.

Monday, November 14, 2022

Tis The Season: Gwyneth Has Some $75 Poop She Would Like To Sell You

 Famous Hollywood Actress & Eccentric Turd Merchant

Today is November 14. Christmas is over a month away, and yet some people insist on starting their celebrations the day after Halloween ends, even before Starbucks even comes out with the Peppermint Mocha. Some of those people are Gwyneth Paltrow. 

Gwyneth busted out her New Goop Gift Guide this week, full of things you might get for the trendy obnoxious leftist in your life. If you have one. I do not. But we can look anyway!

As advertised, you can get a literal pile of shit for $75.

It's 9 pounds of extra fancy fertilizer is what it is.

A sack of shit (literally), this beautiful bag of manure is made from the finest poop in LA - the perfect fertilizer for any and all Earth mamas. It's a blend of free-range goat, horse, chicken, and cow manure, lovingly tended by our gardeners at Flamingo Estate. Our chickens and goats are on a nutritious regenerative diet, snacking occasionally on the tastiest food from the kitchen. It's teeming with beneficial microbes and nutrients, guaranteed to make any plant grow strong and vibrant. This potent, precious poop will bring new life to your soil.
I have no idea about these things, and oddly enough the Value of Animal Waste calculator is of no help whatsoever, but it seems you can get a 40 pound bag of cow manure from Home Depot, so I think $75 might be a little much. Unless it is bat guano, in which case I have just learned will cost you about $25 a pound.

Please don't buy anyone poop for Christmas. Even if there is a bow on it.

~ Thank You MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage! ~

A Good Monday Morning

Friday, November 11, 2022

Middle Finger Symphony Theater

 ~ No Tuxedos Required ~

Brought To You By BLUESJUNKY: Middle Finger Symphony Chair of Music

Wednesday, November 9, 2022

Well, Someone Had to Do It!

When an opportunity presents itself, gotta take the shot.
I'll be nice some other time. I promise. 

~ Thank You MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage! ~

OK, Tell Us What You Think of the Mid-Term Election

Monday, November 7, 2022

WaPo Finally Gives Biden His Own Bottomless Pinocchios

WaPo- President Biden is a self-described “gaffe machine.” That’s no excuse, of course, for a president making false or misleading statements. Readers have asked for fact checks of a variety of recent Biden statements, but none of them seemed big enough for a stand-alone fact check.

We generally do not award Pinocchios for roundups like this — but for reasons that will become clear, we need to make an exception for the first one.

A Good Monday Morning

Friday, November 4, 2022

Middle Finger Symphony Theater

 ~ No Tuxedos Required ~

Brought To You By BLUESJUNKY: Middle Finger Symphony Chair of Music

Thursday, November 3, 2022

Democrat's Panic Brings Nightmares of The Sword of Damocles

Even before the ABC hysterical lunatic coven of 'The View' took to the air and proclaimed "White female Republican voters are like roaches", over at MSNBC, Squinty and Meat Puppet's daily TDS Support Group & Circle Jerk brought on a Politico hack to lament the dangers to the democracy and the left by actual young conservative activists! No! Say it ain't true Joe!
NB - New York Times & Politico Magazine contributor Kyle Spencer was brought on the show to whine and complain about how the conservative movement and more specifically the Leadership Institute are training an army of what Spencer describes as "foot soldiers for the right." She went on to panic that conservatives are now the ones who are "in touch with how people communicate and what is going on politically." 
In what only comes as a shock to MSNBC and their leftist acolytes, Spencer disapprovingly revealed how "we're living in a very weird world now where the conservatives are the ones who seem to be very in touch with how people communicate and what is going on politically." 
Because the Leadership Institute dared to adapt to current cultural or political issues, Spencer moaned how after the sexual and racial indoctrination of public school children became more of a prominent issue. 
"It is invasive and it is big and it is very organized."

They dare not look in the direction of the pendulum....... 

Wednesday, November 2, 2022

Morticia & Shotgun Frankenstein Do Some Early Christmas Shopping

You'd Think the Chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee Would have a Working Knowledge of the Constitution. You'd Think....

In the legendary words of that Omar chick from Mogadishu, "Somebody Did Something". Much to the angst of many, in this case that something was to turn the twitter world upside down. And everyone who thinks they are someone had to pipe in about it, some just to pile on. That bring us to one Senator Dandy Dick Durbin.

Senator Dick decided to get his gigs in at the new twitter guy by showing his disgust about trading conspiracy theories with the drunken grandma of death, Hillary Clinton, about the attack on Paul Pelosi.
"In the days since Musk took Twitter private, the platform has seen an uptick in hate speech, and Musk himself used the platform and his influence to spread a baseless conspiracy theory."
Durbin could have left it there and gone back to legislatin' and Senator stuff. But, probably feeling that twitter badass vibe, sadly he didn't. Senator Dick instead went on to show a lack of understanding of the US founding document – The Constitution.
To be fair, Durbin has only been in congress for 39 years. Regardless, he was ruthlessly mocked by the Twitter Tweeters. Here's just a sample.....🤣🤣
Konan The Bar Barron

Tuesday, November 1, 2022

Lies, Damn Lies, and Biden's Bag of Snakes

What we’ve seen across the country, and it feels like it’s worse now than it’s ever been, is that there is simply nothing true about American politics anymore. Particularly with respect to the democrat party.  Newt Gingrich recently characterized the American Left has having gone crazy, and he’s not wrong. Except from this vantage, it isn’t madness which is driving the hard break from reality we’re seeing from the dem's nest of snakes and their allies; it’s something more sinister than that.

It seems more like arrogance mixed with frustration.

They’re so used to controlling the national narrative and they’re so full of themselves after the 2020 election and the events which followed that they believe there are no limits to cultural aggression, political attack or outright economic repression that they might choose to perpetrate on us.  But it’s beginning to sink in that their assumptions, that history has been bent in an inevitable arc toward their direction, and that it’s all going to fall into place from there,  don’t really work. And they aren’t handling it well. They never handle anything well, which is one reason the Left has so much trouble consolidating power over the long haul.

But this election cycle is worse than ever. So what you get is a contempt for the American people who have demonstrated for well more than a year that we simply don’t accept this globalist, climate-nut, Branch COVIDian, race-hustling, trans-advocating, economic illiterate style of governance which insults the nation’s traditional values and lowers our standard of living measurably. Biden's snakes have had months to adjust their policy approaches with respect to things like domestic energy production and has chosen not to. And in a week they’re going to pay a stiff price for it.

By the time the new Congress is sworn in next January, the democrats may have lost majorities in both the House and Senate. Should that happen, the 2022 midterms will serve as a harbinger of an entirely new political era, a Post-New Deal/Great Society America in which no assumptions about our national politics remain valid, and the Overton Window will shift and settle in a different place.

But what’s clear today is how far the democrats are willing to go in order to blunt the ugly reality staring them in the face with Nov. 8 approaching.  Lies, gas lighting and partisan dishonesty on their part, not just of virtually every Democrat politician in sight, but their fleabag lapdogs in the legacy media. We’re awash in it. It’s irritating beyond belief and it’s going to contribute to the ugly shellacking that Biden's bag of snakes will suffer next week.

One hopes that a significant change coming as a result of the earthquake the 2022 elections might offer will help the breakup of these lies as a systematic political strategy. America is sick and tired of them.