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| What The Hell is Wrong With These People???? |
"Would I want a man who's got, straight-A student in his 40s or 50s out there? Or do I would I want someone with 40, 50 years of experience on the world stage? That includes decades of wins and losses, politically and geopolitically. And I can't think of somebody else out I'd want. You name 'em. Somebody name a better at this point, more mature mind that can attack these problems and address them with all the different levels of emotion that need to come to the moment. And, and he does it!"
"Biden has been wrong on nearly every major foreign policy and national security issue over the past four decades. Among Biden's foreign policy blunders were his opposition to every one of Ronald Reagan’s military programs to contest the Soviet Union.
TED: Well, I had a feeling it would happen eventually. Now that cousin Becky is gone off to prison I’ve been working hard at family dinners leading up to Thanksgiving, and I’ve just been trying to get better every day so I’d be ready if the opportunity presented itself. Tonight, I avoided childish mistakes like playing hide and seek with the little cousins. Instead, I watched the football games on TV and made a joke at the expense of the Dallas Cowboys’ playoff hopes, which was well received by the living room. Even Grandpa grunted in agreement, which is rare. At that point, I knew there was a strong possibility I’d be getting the call come dinner time.
TED: Well, Aunt Linda is one hell of a cook and I have nothing but respect for her and what she’s been able to accomplish over the years. With regard to the yams, it’s true that when I was just starting out in this family, I thought they were yucky, and I was very vocal about it at the time. However, I’ve grown a lot as an eater since then and I’ve worked to mature my underdeveloped palate to handle anything that Aunt Linda or anyone else throws my way. Tonight, when I got to the table and saw a lineup of yams, I was able to lean on that preparation and get the job done.
TED: That’s a great question. I knew I couldn’t afford any phone-related slip-ups. That would immediately put me at a disadvantage, and I didn’t want to be digging myself out of a hole for the remainder of the meal. Before dinner started, I placed my phone on silent mode and powered it down. This helped me clear my head before the meal and eliminate the risk of my phone sounding with a notification that my cousin Bradley is going live on Instagram again.
TED: I’ve heard that story, but I don’t fixate on it. Bradley paved the way for future twelve-year-olds to get called up to the Grown-Ups’ Table, so for that I am thankful. Without him, I wouldn’t be here today, but there’s no defending his behavior last year. Bradley and I are different people, and I wasn’t going to make those same mistakes.
TED: This was an opportunity to show that I’m not afraid to make a risky play call when appropriate, and luckily it paid off.
TED: We all know that in this family, you’ve gotta be able to roll with the punches. Obviously, this is not the kind of behavior you expect from an adult, but Uncle Jimbo is unpredictable, and I had to show him that I don’t back down. I said, “Yes, I have a girlfriend, and I don’t even pay for Tinder Premium like you.” It got the job done and Uncle Jimbo was a non-factor the rest of the meal.
TED: Thank you. I’ll give myself a couple minutes to try and enjoy this win, but I’ve gotta stay hungry and build on this momentum. I’ve got my work cut out for me with Christmas in a few weeks. That’ll take a lot of preparation, so that’s what I’ll be focused on moving forward.
REPORTER: That's all from here. Back to you Wolf.
~ No Tuxedos Required ~
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| Rep. Dan Goldman (Douche-NY) |
"What we have seen over the last six weeks is a latent antisemitism bubbling over into the public sphere that’s coming from the far fringe left. It is incredibly disheartening, Jake, that, in the aftermath of the most brutal, horrific attack, genocidal terrorist attack on Jews in Israel on October 7, that, rather than rally around the Jewish community and Israel, what we are seeing on college campuses and elsewhere, all around the country, and certainly, in New York City, is a rise in antisemitism, and it is somewhat bewildering and perplexing for me, and it’s very deflating and disheartening to see.”
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For someone from NY who can't wait to get his mug on camera with the bigots and anti-Semites at MSNBC, Danny boy should know there's nothing latent about leftist anti-Semitism, it's always been there.~ No Tuxedos Required ~
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| RIP - Tinkerbell V. Hilton |
“For years she would spend her days mortified at the abomination she had become under Paris’ ownership. How many self-respecting dogs own cashmere sweaters and silk neckerchiefs? She was derided amongst her own kind and longed for the blessed relief of eternal rest. Finally she is at peace.”The fashion statement of keeping miniature animals in handbags first appeared in the early 2000’s among people who like their personal accessories to smell of dog piss, and has proven to be inexplicably popular among America's female 1% elite. Entire breeds of miniature dog were created which existed solely to fill the clutch bags of witless socialites.
“It’s the end of an era really. Paris single-handedly created the trend for tiny shit-machines in your handbag, and she stuck with it through thick and thin. I expect she’s completely distraught. What’s going to relieve itself in her purse now?”A spokesman for Paris Hilton told us she hoped to move on from the death of her beloved pet, and aimed to start a new trend by keeping incontinent pigeons in her Purse.
"so sorry 4 your los. guess i better ree think draggin my monkey Kanye around so much" #buhbyetinkerbell
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From the Archives of Middle Finger News Service - Originally Published May 2015
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| Courtney Is Judging You Now |
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| Cartel Man of the Year - El Presidente' Joe Biden |
~ No Tuxedos Required ~
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| King Chuck III |
The Sun - "During what's known as the King's Speech, the ceremonial beginning of the legislative year, the monarch confirmed that Prime Minister Rishi Sunak will mount a historic crackdown on cigarettes. The planned legislation will raise the legal age of buying cigarettes every year until there are no smokers left.
The ban will be subject to a "free vote," meaning Members of Parliament will not be told how to vote by party enforcers. The plan was originally rejected by ministers when suggested previously. But the Labour Party has confirmed its intention to vote with the Conservative government, so the new law is expected to fly through."
"Are the wheels coming off the Biden Administration? It looks like it, to the extent that this shambolic vehicle for a third Obama term ever had wheels to begin with. But it’s not just the numbers......"
"As the Times reports: “Discontent pulsates throughout the Times/Siena poll. . . . The survey also reveals the extent to which the multiracial and multigenerational coalition that elected Mr. Biden is fraying. Demographic groups that backed Mr. Biden by landslide margins in 2020 are now far more closely contested, as two-thirds of the electorate sees the country moving in the wrong direction........”
"Biden is hemorrhaging votes among Hispanics, his margin among women is dwarfed by opposition from men, and Black support for Trump is up to 22%, “a level unseen in Presidential politics for a Republican in modern times. It’s particularly impressive that Trump is polling so well given the near-universal opposition of major media organs, and the campaign of systematic legal harassment that has had him indicted four times and sued in civil courts both by Democratic state attorneys general and private citizens. Maybe doubling down on a strategy of expensive energy, housing, and food was a bad idea for the Biden Administration." - GLENN REYNOLDS
....to all you regular DMFers, Drive-bys, Silent Lurkers and all who link to DMF out there.
Your Beloved Blog Editrix has been informed that October was the Best Month DMF has ever had since starting regular daily publication in 2012! This October's traffic numbers fell only 700 page views short of actually doubling the traffic numbers of October of 2019.
You Made It Happen. You Make It Worthwhile. Thank You Guys! ❤️
~ No Tuxedos Required ~
