~ No Tuxedos Required ~
Friday, March 29, 2024
Middle Finger Symphony Theater
Wednesday, March 27, 2024
MSNBC is Straight Up a Cult
Scientists Report Society Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans
JTP Hogsdon and His Non Diverse USWCM Social Media Research Team |
A Middle Finger News Service Exclusive:
Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports. The appearance of the phenomenon is being called "Macrocephalic Sesquipedalian Neuroleptic Brain Cataplexy" or MSNBC for short - but not to be confused with typical destructive Liberal Brain Shrivel.
The research, conducted Dr. JTP Hogsdon and his team at the University of Southern West Central Minnesota (Go Crimson Frogs!), identifies a virulent strain of humans who are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving scientists at a loss as to how to combat them. More worryingly, Hogsdon told us, as facts have multiplied, their defenses against those facts have only grown more powerful. The normal functions of human consciousness have been completely nullified by this MSNBC.
"What we find most puzzling are the strain of fact-resistant humans that seem to deny that aiming a gun at a law enforcement officer is not going to end well, strapping a bomb to themselves does not advance the religion of peace, and most puzzling to us in our findings, why people continue to vote Democrat?"While scientists have no clear understanding of the mechanisms that prevent the fact-resistant humans from absorbing data, they theorize that the strain may have developed the ability to intercept and discard information en route from the auditory nerve to the brain.
While reaffirming the gloomy assessments of the study, Dr. Hogsdon held out hope that the threat of fact-resistant humans could be mitigated in the future. “Our research is very preliminary, but it's possible that they will become more receptive to facts once they are in an environment without food, water, or oxygen,” he said.
Tuesday, March 26, 2024
Monday, March 25, 2024
Sunday, March 24, 2024
Serpent Head Speaks: The State of the Dem Party - Seeing your Grandma Naked - Too many Preachy Females.
Friday, March 22, 2024
Thursday, March 21, 2024
Your Official Almost Semi-World Famous Irredeemable Big Ass Mid-Week Open Thread.
Your Beloved Blog Editrix, Who Loves Each and Everyone of You, Reluctantly Turns Things Over to You. Regular ground rules apply...... Use the Coasters and don't give the Sasquatch any liquor.
The floor is yours......
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This week your glorious exercise in free speech is brought to you by:
The Marianne Sparkleshine Stardust Williamson 2024 Presidential Campaign
Wednesday, March 20, 2024
Late Night Musings From The Bathtub
Tuesday, March 19, 2024
Truism #528
"The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office. Their principal device to that end is to search out groups who pant and pine for something they can’t get and to promise to give it to them. Nine times out of ten that promise is worth nothing. The tenth time is made good by looting A to satisfy B. In other words, government is a broker in pillage, and every election is sort of an advance auction sale of stolen goods.”
- H.L. Mencken
Monday, March 18, 2024
Sunday, March 17, 2024
Your Sunday Soothingness
Friday, March 15, 2024
Middle Finger Symphony Theater
~ No Tuxedos Required ~
Thursday, March 14, 2024
Your Official Almost Semi-World Famous Irredeemable Big Ass Mid-Week Open Thread.
Your Beloved Blog Editrix, Who Loves Each and Everyone of You, reluctantly turns things over to you. Regular ground rules apply...... and don't give the Sasquatch any liquor.
The floor is yours......
This week your glorious exercise in free speech is brought to you by:
Wednesday, March 13, 2024
Panic Time. You Can Hear It In Their Voices
Tuesday, March 12, 2024
We're Number One...We're Number One!
Nasty Gaslighting Bigots They Are.
Monday, March 11, 2024
Sunday, March 10, 2024
Your Sunday Soothingness
Friday, March 8, 2024
Middle Finger Symphony Theater
~ No Tuxedos Required ~
Thursday, March 7, 2024
Your Official SOTU Drinking Game Card for Tonight's Presidential Manure Spread
Yes patriots, it's that time again. The stage is set for the nation's roundly disapproved of and incompetent leader to address congress and the nation in the unnecessary made-for-TV annual manure spread known to us all as the State Of The Union message.
And as we have come to expect from *46, one can again look forward to more lying than a teenage boy with his pants around his ankles trying to explain to a Deputy why the Sheriff's daughter is in the back seat of his car naked from the waist up.
And like most of *46's speeches, I would expect an Adderall fueled mind-numbing exercise in babbling, self-praise and lofty unworkable leftist ideals, and a economic picture embellished with a rosy glow of unreal accomplishments.
But I doubt the speech will be as entertained as in past years. With the luster and entertainment value of the event having fallen off without the distraction from the droning speech of watching Nan Pelosi fidget around in the Speaker's chair, going from grinning like a mental patient for no apparent reason, to getting that pained look on her face like she's passing a kidney stone and wishing she could get up and have a double shot of gin and a Marlboro.
But we will still have that famous camera shot to look forward to of of the entire house chamber as the network media political analysts speak of the historic setting while Joe, grinning like a baby loading his diaper, scans the room for an ice cream machine and any prepubescent girls in attendance.
But fear not. SOTU Bullshit Bingo enthusiast are sure to be pleased by this Official STATE OF THE UNION DRINKING GAME CARD (a retread from 2022 but still relevant) compliments of our good friend Curmudgeon @PoliticalClownP.
Wednesday, March 6, 2024
What Does This Guy Eat Every Morning That Makes Him So Angry and Delusional?
Tuesday, March 5, 2024
Scientists Suggest Prehistoric Women Were Better At Hunting Than Men
Monday, March 4, 2024
Today in Leftist Totalitarian Democracy
"At 7:00 local time Friday morning, Blaze reporter Steve Baker turned himself in to the Dallas field office of the Federal Bureau of Investigation for arraignment. He then faced a federal magistrate. According to the Blaze, Baker received instructions to come to the office wearing shorts and flip-flops to make it easier for agents to place him in an orange jumpsuit, cuffs, and leg shackles. What did Baker do to find himself under arrest? Ostensibly, he went into the Capitol building on January 6.
He was there not as a rioter but as a member of the press. Around 60 other journalists were there with him because, as a reporter, you go where the story is, and the story was inside the Capitol. Baker did not destroy anything, and he did not steal anything. He did not chant, sing, or make a speech. He did what reporters are supposed to do. He recorded the facts, and there is video evidence to back this up."
"Rachel, I think we’re more susceptible to [disinformation] than other countries, and that’s because some of our greatest strengths can also be our Achilles Heel. So, for example, our deep commitment to free speech in our First Amendment. It is a cherished right. It’s an important right in democracy, and nobody wants to get rid of it, but it makes us vulnerable to claims [that] anything we want to do related to speech is censorship… I think any time someone tries to do anything that might limit free speech, people claim censorship."
Saturday, March 2, 2024
Middle Finger Symphony Theater
~ No Tuxedos Required ~