Friday, August 12, 2022

Middle Finger Symphony Theater

 ~ No Tuxedos Required ~

Brought To You By BLUESJUNKY: Middle Finger Symphony Chair of Music

Thursday, August 11, 2022

What Your Favorite Classic Rock Band Says About You.


Complied by Middle Finger News Entertainment Reporter, Roach Clip Johnson, During a Series of Recent Lucid Moments

The Doors: You have been bitten by an animal while trying to get it stoned.
Jimi Hendrix: You are under 20 or over 65.
Black Sabbath: Your greatest joy is painting in unventilated rooms.
The Grateful Dead: Your stories about the ‘70s make your daughter’s roommates at Tufts very uncomfortable.
T-Rex: No matter how much you clean, there will always be trace amounts of glitter on your stove and blender.
Pink Floyd: Your garage is full of failed versions of your stereo/barbecue hybrid.
ZZ Top: Your favorite Hank Williams is Hank Williams, Jr.
Chicago: You are incapable of talking about Chicago without mentioning their horn section.
Crosby, Stills & Nash: You own an oversized hat.
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young: You own three or more oversized hats.
Jefferson Airplane: You make your living buying and selling oversized hats.
Bad Company: You have sustained several alcohol-related injuries involving sheetrock.
Lynyrd Skynyrd: You somehow have both long hair and a sunburned scalp.
Steely Dan: You have snorted cocaine off a copy of Remembrance of Things Past.
Yes: Your ideal partner would be into both tantric sex and fat guys.
Creedence Clearwater Revival: You are frequently missing part of an eyebrow.
Van Halen: You have a Peeing Calvin bumper sticker on your Ford F100.
Bachman-Turner Overdrive: You have an actual urine stain on your Ford F100.
AC/DC: You are the cause of the urine stain.
Santana: You have had an hours-long conversation with someone before realizing it was just a pile of clothes.
The Band: You have misspelled your name while carving it into a picnic table.
The Doobie Brothers: You have swallowed exactly two spiders—one accidentally, one on purpose.
Bob Seger: You lost your virginity in a Chevette with a spoiler.
Alice Cooper: You have burned yourself while urinating on a campfire.
Tangerine Dream: You have spent over 30 minutes petting a tennis ball.
Traffic: You have several incense scars.
Emerson, Lake and Palmer: You have several self-inflicted incense scars.
Blind Faith: You constantly misuse the word “penultimate.”
Joni Mitchell: You have accidentally eaten more than half of a scented candle.
Steppenwolf: You have three or more cigarette burns in hard-to-reach places.
Joe Walsh: You have fired a gun while in your underwear.
Ozzy Osbourne: You have barbecued a frozen pizza at 3 a.m.
King Crimson: You have spent an entire afternoon watching a screensaver.
Stevie Nicks: You have thrown a mood ring in anger.
Bruce Springsteen: You have tasted more than one color of crayon.

~ Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS & MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage! ~

Wednesday, August 10, 2022

Brandon Declares Mission Accomplished.

Your Official Almost Semi-World Famous Irredeemable Mid-Week Open Thread

Your Beloved Blog Editrix Turns Things Over To You, The Reader.
So Don Your Blogging Thongs, Share Ye Links and Bicker. _______________________________________ 

This Week, Your Open Thread is Sponsored By:
The Spirit of Edward Gibbon (1737-1794)


Monday, August 8, 2022

Of course it's not political. Why do you ask?

The FBI has immediately leaked the details of the raid on Mar A Lago to The New York Times. But yeah, it’s not political. If you don’t see the Rubicon that is being crossed by the FBI conducting a raid on a former and likely future political opponent’s home, I can’t help you. 

The president with the lowest approval ratings in our lives just had his department of justice’s FBI raid the private home of the leading candidate to replace him in the next election. 

Whether or not you're a fan of Donald Trump, you should realize this is dangerous territory.

A Good Monday Morning

Friday, August 5, 2022

Middle Finger Symphony Theater

 ~ No Tuxedos Required ~

Brought To You By BLUESJUNKY: Middle Finger Symphony Chair of Music

Thursday, August 4, 2022

A Desperate CNN President Pleads for GOP Lawmakers to Please Come Back πŸ™„


According to a post at the Free Beacon, CNN President Chris Licht went to Capital Hill last week and quietly met behind closed doors with high members of the GOP in a carefully arranged meeting to avoid alerting the reptiles reporters who slither the halls of the Capitol, and to accommodate Republican lawmakers who preferred not to be seen hobnobbing with media pond scum. Licht's message: We’re sorry. Please, come back.

Licht and his boss, Warner Brothers Discovery chief David Zaslav met briefly with Mitch McConnell and Kevin McCarthy. Licht's schtick was the network would give Republican lawmakers ample airtime and honest dialogue, saying they are committed to reshaping the image of CNN no matter the ratings. The charm offensive underscores Licht's effort to reverse the course set by his predecessor pushed out of CNN in February, who had transformed CNN into ground zero for the strident nasty resistance to DJT and Republicans more broadly, adopting nakedly partisan stances that would once have seemed out of line strange in a newsroom.

Licht's pitch was a tough sell given the putrid hostility CNN anchors have expressed toward Republicans and their voters. And after sticking a proverbial middle finger in anyone's face who didn’t subscribe to left-wing groupthink, gaining the trust of conservative viewers will be no easy task.

Except for the mercy killing of CNN's embarrassing failure of their digital media project, CNN+,  Licht has made few personnel changes, and CNN employs a type of host who may be resentful and try and stonewall any improving relationship between CNN and the Right. It’s going to be hard to convince Republicans that CNN has moved to the middle when you promote sleazy characters like Don Lemon, Brianna "Twinkies" Keilar, and Jim Acosta.

Even if CNN pulls off a turn to the middle, it’s likely that most former viewers won’t return to the channel to find out if the newly reported reputation is accurate.  When you lie about everything, viewers won’t believe what you say about your own network either.

Wednesday, August 3, 2022

Your Official Almost Semi-World Famous Irredeemable Mid-Week Open Thread

Your Beloved Blog Editrix Turns Things over to You.
So Don Your Blogging Thongs, Share Ye Links and Bicker. _______________________________________ 

This Week, Your Open Thread is Sponsored By Our Good Friends At: 
Salmon & Shitts Attorneys at Law

Monday, August 1, 2022

"A one hour Critical Race Theory experience disguised as a tour.”


NYP - The globalist billionaire who funded the woke transformation of Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello paid for a similar overhaul of James Madison’s house — where the author of the US Constitution has been shoved into a supporting role, while slavery and racism take center stage.

No American flags fly at Montpelier, Madison’s plantation home in rural Virginia, and not a single display focuses on the life and accomplishments of America’s foremost political philosopher, who created our three-branch federal system of government, wrote the Bill of Rights and the Federalist Papers, and served two terms as president.

Instead, blindsided tourists are hammered by high-tech exhibits about Madison’s slaves and current racial conflicts, thanks to a $10 million grant from left-leaning philanthropist David M. Rubenstein. 

In May, the National Trust for Historic Preservation, which owns the home, forced the board to accept a slate of left-wing activist members in the name of racial equity.

The new members aim to transform Montpelier into “a black history and black rights organization that could care less about James Madison and his legacy,” board member Mary Alexander, a documented descendant of Madison’s slave Paul Jennings, told the Orange County Review.  “There were hundreds of thousands of slave owners,” Alexander said. “But not hundreds of thousands who wrote the Constitution.”

“The worst part were the gross historical inaccuracies and constant bias exhibited by the tour guide,” complained Alex Z., who visited July 8. "A one hour Critical Race Theory experience disguised as a tour.”

Visitors to Montpelier get to see just three rooms in the sprawling mansion. The estate “made Madison the philosopher, farmer, statesman, and enslaver that he was,” the guide said as The Post’s group entered the home — a line she repeated at the end of her spiel.

Hurricane Katrina flooding, the Ferguson riots, incarceration, and more all trace back to slavery, according to a 10-minute multi-screen video. Another exhibit damns every one of the nation’s first 18 presidents — even those, like John Adams and Abraham Lincoln, who never owned slaves — for having benefited from slavery in some way.

The only in-depth material about the Constitution itself appears in a display that pushes the claim, championed by the controversial 1619 Project, that racism was the driving force behind the entire American political system.

If that doesn't sicken you, you can read further Here.

~ Thank You Larwyn's Linx@ Doug Ross Journal For the Linkage! ~

A Good Monday Morning