KNOCK KNOCK! 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎

  

The DOJ likely already had all the evidence needed to indict Ilhan Omar (otherwise, a federal judge wouldn’t have authorized a search warrant this close to an election). If I had to guess, the indictments were ready to file weeks ago. 

 The raid today was bait to get Democratic candidates on the record supporting Omar. “I stand with Ilhan,” “Ilhan is the best of America,” etc.

A Good Monday Morning

And Now for Something Completely Different.

 

You're Welcome.

It's Their Unholy Alliance That Endangers the Republic

The events of the past couple of months have given pause to many, and in some circles say the present rightward swing of the pendulum's direction has all but used up its energy. But with their embarrassing theatre kids antics and epic incompetence we have witnessed, democrats are torn even more now than ever between far left totalitarian instincts on one side and the Liberals' complete political malpractice on the other. Their seething contempt for the conservation of anything valuable and rational in governing remains whole, complete and total. It is psychologically and professionally impossible for anybody on the left to admit the simple truth that the Right has been right about the Left all along because it would mean being forced to eat the seething contempt for all things conservative that has been wired so deeply into their identities for so long.

The result of this crippling and impenetrable psychological block is that is remains imperative to the left sense of self that the right (that'd be you and me) continue to be caricatured as fucking awful humans. 

Everybody knows that the democrat party has been a shitpile of closeted bigots and imbeciles for decades. They sometime do not try very hard to hide it. Others will contend that because they live in distant and violent land the natives call Blue States, that despite their self proclaimed superior political expertise, the Left are destructive, clueless mopes whose fecklessness may yet topple the republic as we know it. So it should come as no surprise that the mainstream media has found a comfy chair for every race-baiter or Never Trumper with a book to sell or grift to flog. (lookin' at you Squinty & Meat Puppet) 

The American media will never get better. It will just keep getting worse.

But why, Diogenes', you ask? Why is it so bad everywhere, from the national media to your local, dying newspaper? How is it that this vast, shambolic, humiliating, and very public failure of our Fourth Estate, a failure that is dragging out democracy down with it, just goes on and on getting worse and worse?

Simple. Because there are no equally powerful countervailing institutions out there in the world in charge of pushing back against it or in any way holding it accountable. Instead of operating as a vital civic institution the media is basically Facebook's older, stupider cousin, without Facebook's malevolent, precision-guided algorithms designed to prolong "engagement" and keep your eyes on its ads, but with the same "Sponsors Uber Alles" ethos informing every decision. And the reason nothing can stop it is because, other than catching the occasional fine for saying "fuck" on broadcast teevee, there are no consequences for pumping the public's skulls full of toxic leftist garbage. 

As for the gory details of how and why the media is everywhere top-heavy with leftist hacks and mopes and frauds, no insider with deep knowledge of the hows and the whys is ever going to rat them out. There will never be a Joe Valachi of the media, exposing how the business really works to the entire country. Forget the "respectable" press. They're as relentlessly profit-driven as everyone else, and to them those tens of millions of deranged bigots and imbeciles on the Left (and their friends an relatives) are just current or potential customers.

No matter how many business windows the fascist Teefa Soy Boyz destroy, or how many muslims fraudsters are exposed, or how many lies democrats tell, the "respectable" press will always leaven that news with their certainty that some conservative somewhere, real or not, has probably (or will probably) do something just as bad.

Anyone Seen Little James?

With just 28 days remaining until he faces off against Republican candidate Ken Paxton, Democrat James Talarico campaign has gone dark and he is nowhere to be found. 

According to Townhall:

"Talarico has not been seen publicly in Texas in over a week, with his last appearance on Saturday, September 26, before he took a fundraising trip to New York City. There, he was treated to a VIP fundraising dinner where attendees, like a filmmaker who labeled America a “shithole” and a group that advocates for child sex change surgeries, were charged $27,000 a plate.

On September 30 Talarico was slated to speak with the U.S. Hispanic Business Council in the Rio Grande Valley, but instead joined virtually from a hotel because “his staff says he’s ill and was unable to travel.” During the appearance, Talarico claimed that he was forced to seek care at an urgent care clinic in Dallas, but social media users have disputed the timeline offered by the candidate. 

Then, October 2, the Talarico campaign chose to recycle footage from a February 22 rally before Talarico had even won the Democrat nomination, and tried to pass it off as current. His campaign cancelled an event slated for October 5 with the Central Texas African American Civic Engagement Symposium, and planned appearance for October 6 has been rescheduled. The campaign calendar currently shows no scheduled public appearances."

Diogenes is investigating rumors from sources in Texas Talarico is being treated for a tragic diagnosis of  'Rapid Testicular Regression' and 'Negative Testosterone Level'. 

Swing State Independent Undecided Voter Ask For Help

Middle Finger News Service 

op-ed by Willford J. Townson III

"I am a citizen living in a swing state, and I need to see more political advertisements before deciding who to vote for. Many of my state’s elections are toss-ups. For the last year, I have been advertised to every time I engage with media, front yards, billboards, bus stops, Tubi ad breaks, Tubi pause screens, Nextdoor posts,  podcasts, Facebook posts, Facebook Marketplace posts, radio stations, PTA brunches, car bumpers, car windows, and in-person conversations. 

I’m here to tell you that it’s still not enough. I can’t decide, and I require more guidance, please. My current senator is older than the audio cassette, so I should have a good sense of who to vote for, but I have rocks in my head and rocks don’t retain information. So I am asking: Please, someone advertise to me today, tomorrow, and the day after that. 

I would like someone at Apple to look into advertising in my Notes app. That bad boy never lets me forget to get trash bags or mayonnaise when I head to the store, so let’s get the senator and Election Day on the list. If someone could fill my mailbox with flyers about this candidate and her opponent, their decades of voting, their general political alignments and with information about why my life is good or bad and why it’s their fault or not.

I would love to see a political ad in this essay, before the next 

paragraph, if possible. The moments between this sentence and the next paragraph’s first sentence are crucial, and I, a total fool, could forget about the upcoming election. Without the upcoming election dominating every second of what I’m doing in my life, I won’t remember the election. I mean, we all keep a note by the door that says PANTS, or else we leave my house without pants on, right?   And the note inside the pants that says UNDERPANTS? Am I alone in this?  Only a relentless, unending torrent of election advertising will allow me to arrive at the polls with pants and underwear on whenever the election so happens to be.

Look, I like yards on their own, but I think it’s pretty crucial to have political campaign signs in yards up until the election. Remember, voters are basically tetras in a kid’s fish tank. If you forget to supply us with pellets of election guidance for even a few days, we may try and eat our weakest neighbor. And I wouldn’t mind an occasional reminder of the opaque double-negative ballot initiatives, but mostly I need to see NAMES. 

You see, I am not much more complex than a unicellular organism, like a protozoan or yeast. Think of my behavior as less decided and more dictated by the chemical reactions happening inside my membrane, determined by other chemicals present. Consider my origin a mystery, and my evolution hotly contested. But above all, consider me a fool.

Pour money into my state and strangle every aspect of the parts of life I use to acquire information to make choices. Ruin my television. Make Nextdoor only slightly more insane. There is no way for me to "vote" or “know who to vote for” without a high-pressure jet of political advertisement blasting away the detritus I call “regular life."

A Good Monday Morning