Tuesday, November 29, 2011

GOP Primary Candidate Linden Borden Tops New Hampshire Poll

 Middle Finger News Service - As predicated in our earlier primary endorsement, third tier candidate, Linden Borden, has started his march to the front of the GOP primary pack.

In a non-scientific poll of kinda likely Conservative voters in New Hampshire which asked "if you could pick anyone or anybody to replace Barack Obama and become the next President, who would you pick?" Borden finished well behind N.J.Governor Chris Christie, former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee and Long Dead 2 term President, Ronald Reagan, none of who are running, but finished just ahead the undeclared Republican Star Sarah Palin in the poll.

Borden, listed as "A Shiny Metal Object " in the poll because of the exposed metal plate in his head, a result of an ax catching competition accident as a young man, finished ahead of all the first tier candidates now in the race. The only candidate to garner a major endorsement in New Hampshire so far, Newt Gingrich, objected to the methodology of gathering their polling results, claiming large, hatch wielding men with Borden for President T-shirts on were accompanying the pollsters. We have no reports to verify his claims.


O's Job Approval Drops Below Carter's

President Obama's slow ride down Gallup's daily presidential job approval index has finally passed below Jimmy Carter, earning Obama the worst job approval rating of any president at this stage of his term in modern political history.

Since March, Obama's job approval rating has hovered above Carter's, considered among the 20th century's worst presidents, but today Obama's punctured Carter's dismal job approval line. On their comparison chart, Gallup put Obama's job approval rating at 43 percent compared to Carter's 51 percent.

According to Gallup, here are the job approval numbers for other presidents at this stage of their terms, a year before the re-election campaign:

-- Harry S. Truman: 54 percent.

-- Dwight Eisenhower: 78 percent.

-- Lyndon B. Johnson: 44 percent.

-- Richard M. Nixon: 50 percent.

-- Ronald Reagan: 54 percent.

-- George H.W. Bush: 52 percent.

-- Bill Clinton: 51 percent.

 -- George W. Bush: 55 percent.

Many pundits believe that job approval ratings are the key number to look at when determining if a president will win re-election. Generally, they feel that a president should be higher than 47 percent to win re-election.


Israel Should Rethink Plans for Air Strikes on Iranian Nuke Facilities

Looks Like Iran is doing a good job 
of blowing themselves up.

Mysterious explosion rocks Iranian city of Isfahan:
JPOST.COM 11/28/2011 - A large explosion rocked the western Iranian city of Isfahan, semi-official FARS news reported Monday afternoon. According to the report, the blast occurred shortly after 2:00 p.m. FARS did not reveal the cause of the explosion, which was large enough to be heard throughout Iran's third largest city.

 The cause of explosion unknown. The explosion occurred two weeks after a massive explosion west of Tehran which killed 17 troops, including an IRGC officer responsible for the development of some of Iran's most advanced weapons.
Iran claimed it occurred when soldiers were moving explosives between bases. Isfahan is home to nuclear experimental reactor, uranium enrichment sites.

Military research caused missile base blast:
REUTERS 11/16/2011- A massive explosion that killed 17 troops including an officer regarded as the architect of Iran's missile defenses last week took place during research on weapons that could strike Israel, the armed forces chief of staff said on Wednesday.  Iranian news sites identified one of the dead as Brig.- Gen. Hassan Moghadam, a top IRGC officer responsible for the development of some of Iran’s most advanced weapons. The explosion took place inside a base called Bid Ganeh, west of Tehran, which is reportedly used to manufacture and store Iran’s long-range ballistic missiles.

The cause of the explosion was unknown. It was not the first time that mysterious explosions struck in Iran. In recent years, a number of scientists have been killed and dozens of IRGC officers have also been killed in various plane crashes.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Linden Borden for President

From the Board of Diogenes' Middle Finger

Linden Borden is a Harry Truman type character. Only five foot two inches in stature, but of strong Viking stock, the Presidential Candidate is a self-sufficient small businessman; a boat builder by trade from the wilds of Minnesota. His business savvy and understanding of the needs of small business is sorely missing from the present field of GOP candidates. Sure, there are Tax Lawyers, moneyed Ex-Governors, wealthy Ex-Congressmen and even a Space Cadet vying for the nomination, but we feel Mr. Borden is heads above the rest of the field.

His strong suit is his understanding of simple economics: You can't spend more than you take in. Borden knows how to wield a mean ax, and plans to lay waste to the bloated federal budget and stop the idiotic wasteful spending. The present field of candidates see billions as chump change, Linden Borden sees that as the problem. 

We share Borden's distaste for the front running top tier candidates and their childish infighting and pandering performances at the debates, while allowing an "off the wall Ron Paul and an overgrown Q-Tip like Newt Gingrich" on stage and denying Mr. Borden time to state his platform, is egregious in our eyes.

We feel Mr. Borden is scary enough to get congress in-line and threating enough to keep our enemies at bay. We know he will not have any empty sexual harassment allegations leveled at him as some candidates have because as far as we know, no women has gone near him in years. The almost unbelievable ground swell of support we witnessed on College Campuses as well as in Bingo Parlors and Burger Doodles all over New Hampshire last week make us believe the third tier candidate is poised to explode in a major breakout and run to the front, leading the pack into the early primary contests. All across the state, from the prestigious environmentally conscious, cutting edge 'Cannabis Technological Institute' to the 'New Hampshire School for the Blind and Infirm', and the historic 'New England Academy for Wayward Nymphomaniacs', we witnessed rallies and grassroots support we haven't seen since the Dukakis campaign.

We at Diogenes Middle Finger think it's Linden Borden's time to shine, and wholeheartedly endorse his campaign for President.

He has surrounded himself with some impressive advisers, the likes of the eccentric but knowledgeable Professor Ichabod Butouski of the Minnesota State Junior College Physics Department, Will Profit, Chief Editor and CEO of Capitalist Preservation and Texas State Chairman for CTFBA (Cut the F**king Budget Already Campaign), Snags Fitch, Grand Lizard of the St. Paul Masonic Elks Optimist Club and Sunshine Butts, contemporary poet and rummage expert. His intended Cabinet nominees we find also impressive. Announced as his potential Commerce Secretary is English born Marvin Ashcott Hayes, the somewhat eccentric Minnesota Tampon Magnate, and for Transportation Secretary, Link Pisner, former biker and expert on the nation's roads and highway system.  

On Foreign Policy, we here at Diogenes Middle Finger do not agree with Candidate Borden's insistence on nuking Guatemala in retaliation for his 1981 conviction (later overturned) for importing Toupees made from hair of endangered species, but feel his views will be tempered by his choice for Secretary of State, Klash Bazbo, who should be over the ugly head wound suffered in a Viking Raid reenactment on a Wisconsin girl's school, and out of physical therapy in time to be confirmed in 2013. The only possible problem we see with presently announced Cabinet choices in Congressional Conformation Hearings could be the pick for Attorney General, Vincent “The Knee" Pelotso. Mr. Pelotso is a businessman and expert on Law and the Federal Correction System, having been through it many times. 

 The Editorial Board of Diogenes Middle Finger believe it's time to cut the crap and get the country back on track. We also believe this is the first and most important endorsement of The Linden Borden for President Campaign, with many to follow in our steps. 


Saturday, November 26, 2011

'Special Ed' Schultz Make GQ's 25 List

MSNBC's own resident Crazy Uncle, Ed Schultz, has been named one of GQ magazine's annual list of "The 25 Least Influential People Alive." The website TVNewser has published a sneak preview of the illustrious list of personalities.......
"Then there's pundits like Ed Schultz. Do you watch “The Ed Show” on MSNBC? Of course you don’t. No one does. The only reason people watch “The Ed Show” is they’re working out in a hotel gym and they can’t find a staff member to change the channel to ESPN."
Now, now, Gentlemen. I do know people who watch Ed's basement rated show on a regular basis, if just for comic relief. They say watching Ed is like a 35 midget three ring circus - you see everything, but can't tell what the hell is going on. But I do think anyone who witnessed Special Ed's stirring rant at Jon Stewart's Washington Mall publicity stunt called 'Rally to Restore Sanity' awhile back wondered why the slightly insane Ed was there to start with. Bringing people together is not really his M.O.
Admittedly, Ed's vile, sometime ridiculous rantings and ravings about anyone or anything even sightly leaning right are sometime hilarious and so off the wall they make MSNBC's intellectual giant, Rev. Al Sharpton, sound almost sensible at times.

Even I admit to sometime tuning in to Ed just to see him get riled up and turn red. I think he's gonna pop a tube someday right there in Ricky Maddow's chair. Pass me the popcorn.
Maybe this story explains their decision to include Ed in their list?

But, wait, wait......Look who is #25 on GQ's Least Influential list.....

H/T NewsBusters

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thanksgiving at the Obama House


Gop Presidential Candidate Linden Borden: "I will win the 18 -25 year old vote."

Capitalist Preservation News Wire - Speaking in New Hampshire Wednesday, Linden Borden announced he has picked up a key endorsement from the student union at 'Concord Cannabis Tech.' Mr Borden stated he is thrilled his alma mater is throwing their support his way. 

Concord Student Union President Marty 'Cotton Mouth' Palazetti said, "That dude will probably be a better dude than the dude who is ...the current dude...or whatever". Marty is a sixth year Pharmacology student at "Ole Cannabis" and is captain of the rolling team.

Palazetti says he almost has a faint interest in politics and current events.  He is also is pictured on Borden campaign posters that have sprung up throughout New Hampshire.


Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Welcome to New Hampshire Mr. President

Page One Editorial: Primary voters rejected Obama

It is an honor to have the President of the United States in Manchester today, and it will be a thrill for students and staff at Manchester High School Central. We know they will be respectful and show off what is known as Central Pride.
We just wish the circumstances were better for our country. These students, their generation and all Americans are facing an uncertain, perilous future.In large part, it is because we have a nice-talking, but unprepared man in charge.
Listen to President Obama today and he will lay blame on everyone but himself. His only plan will be to spend more money that we don't have.
Four years ago, primary voters here tried to tell the nation that this wet-behind-the-ears socialist wannabe was the wrong man. (They picked Hillary Clinton in the primary.)
Here is hoping that seven weeks from today, primary voters here will put the nation on a path to unseating this glib, clueless disaster of a President.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

CIA Global Warming Intelligence Unit?

Even after news stories broke revealing that scientists fudged their climate change research, the Obama administration continues its
"green agenda" while wasting billions of dollars.

From examiner.com
"Regardless of the fact that the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) already possesses a multi-billion dollar intel center for global warming, a new report by a government watchdog group's blogger claims that the Obama administration believes the nation’s intelligence community needs yet another taxpayer-funded entity to better determine the impact of climate change on national security."
"According to a source within the intelligence community, the CIA launched The Center as the focal point for its work on the subject. The Center is a small unit led by senior specialists from the Directorate of Intelligence and the Directorate of Science and Technology.
"No one really knows what goes in in the exclusive unit because it operates under a cloak of secrecy that rejects all public-records requests, despite President Obama’s promise to run a transparent government. What we do know is that the unit is led by senior specialists.” 
Separate government evaluations revealed that global warming causes mental illness and cancer and that it creates national security threats by spreading disease among people and animals. Authored by government scientists from various agencies, the mental illness/cancer report claims global warming is one of the “most visible environmental concerns of the 21st century”......

So now we can blame all this on Global Warming also!
I just knew there was a good reason for all this cancerous insanity.

 OWS - Orlando 

Shelby: the Elected Leader of OWS Denver

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Maude Bites the Dust

'The Joy Behar Show' has been canceled'

According to the Hollywood Reporter, 'The Joy Behar Show' will end its two-year run in December. Behar’s last show taping will be mid-December. One of HLN’s current programs will move into the 10 p.m. timeslot, but the Turner-owned cable news network is not prepared to make an announcement on the new line-up just yet. The controversial Ms.Behar will remain as a co-host on ABC's 'The View' where she shall continue on displaying her ignorance with a heavy dose of shrillness.

Obama the Destroyer

President Obama, like the vast majority of  America's progressives and their toadies in media, have whined about “income inequality.” According to The National Review Online income inequality has shrunk during this administration. Unfortunately, it has shrunk for the wrong reasons:
"In the last two years, it’s way down. Recessions are bad for the rich. If you care about inequality per se, recessions are great. That appears to be true, so in 2009 the top 1% I calculated at 17.6%. I’ve seen other calculations a tad under 17%, but it’s basically gone from 23.5 to 17. What’s interesting about 17 is that inequality in 2009 is actually lower than it was during any year of Bill Clinton’s second term."
“The Rich” have taken a hit during this administration. Thanks to President Obama not getting the economy running, the percentage of money millionaires made is 20% less than when Obama took office. And we're not talking about overnight Hip-Hop millionaires or your over payed Athletics here either, we're talking business owners and such.  Jim Hoft, the Gateway Pundit, has frequently called President Obama the “Worst. Jobs. President. Ever.” I think it should be:
"The. Biggest. Wealth. Destroying. President. Ever."

Most presidents increase the country’s wealth. President Obama’s policies have shrunk American wealth. It isn’t just “the rich” that’ve gotten hurt, either. There are more people on food stamps now than ever before. The middle class has shrunk significantly. At some point, people will know that Obama a) a harmful to their bank accounts health, b) has pursued policies that won't ever create wealth or prosperity and c) has increased debt, both personal and national, at a faster rate than any other president in U.S. history.President Obama’s stimulus fed his political allies. His policies have assisted his rich bundler's and union thugs alike. Everyone else has pretty much gotten the shaft.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Educational Crash Course #88

Another Installment of Diogenes'
Public Service Educational Series:

The Great of Philosophers'

Next in Series: 'Green Technology'
with Cheech & Chong.

...........Class Dismissed!

Educational Crash Course Series Archive

Monday, November 14, 2011

Born to be Fabulous.......

Scenes from the upcoming movie: 
President  Obama and Sgt. Krotch announce to the nation
a fabulously successful secret "Pink Ops" raid
on an illegally importing French Fashion House.

Pfc.Dufus (Anderson Cooper) in full battle drag.
Sorry, but we won't show what's going on below the 
bottom of the frame.


Friday, November 11, 2011

Obama Whines Like Little Girl to Women's Group: Those Republican Meanies...

Somebody Pass me a Tissue.

WASHINGTON (AP) - An aggressive President Barack Obama declared Wednesday that congressional Republicans are more interested in dividing the country than in strengthening the economy and accused them of working to overturn advances achieved during his presidency.
"They're more focused on turning back the clock," he told a prominent women's legal group. The president's criticism reiterated complaints about Republican opposition to his jobs bill and the health care law he shepherded through last year.


Excuse me, Mr. President.... the Republicans are dividing the country? Let's just take a look, shall we? ......are they stirring up class warfare in public while taking wealthy donor's money in private......don't think so, how about playing the same ol' worn out race card every time they find themselves in a losing position....nope, don't believe. Are their toadies in the media working overtime running a propaganda and smear machine that would have made Joseph Goebbels blush? Not to my knowledge. Are they talking out of both sides of their mouths, coddling the elitist crowd on one side and criticizing their wealth to the 'gimme my entitlement' bunch on the other? I think the average working Joe sees right through that. 

And about overturning the advances of your administration? 
Which advances? Oh, you must mean turning the military into another successful liberal social experiment? Or maybe you meant your policies that continue to increase job growth and keep employment from rising above 10% while planning to punish the productive people in society......forgot about that one. Or maybe you meant they want to cut the massive spending that has spurred so much growth in the economy so millions more people don't lose their homes?  Oh, Oh, maybe you meant your guys selling guns to gangster drug dealers in Mexico so as to follow the dead bodies back to the point of distribution. That was genius, pure genius.

And there's the health care bill, the one a bunch of lawyers in congress wrote for you that contains those hidden taxes and is somehow going to cover millions more people for less money, yeah I'm pretty sure they're going after that one for sure. And I'd bet they really don't understand why heads of foreign powers admire your strength as such a powerful and effective world leader.

I know you have a hard job, it must be tough getting things done in between golf rounds, but I have confidence that that 'Hope and Changy' thing will kick in any day now. 


Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Conspiracy Theorists Believe the Government is Still Hiding Information About Extraterrestrial Life

"More than 17,000 Americans demand that the Goverment tell the nation exactly what it knows about aliens— and the administration obliges........" The Week Magazine

It's not every day that government officals talk about E.T. But in a recent post on the Official White House website, a high-ranking official in the president's Office of Science & Technology Policy took the time to respond to a burning question from UFO conspiracy theorists. Here's what happened:
The White House has a petition site called "We the People" that allows users to pose questions. If a petition gets enough signatures, it is reviewed by the White House staff and receives an official response. And two petitions, signed by a total of more than 17,000 people, demanded that the government come clean if it was hiding knowledge of extraterrestrial life. The petitioners wrote: "The people have a right to know. The people can handle the truth."

What did the White House say? "Thank you for  signing the petition and asking the Obama administration to acknowledge an extraterrestrial presence here on Earth," the White House's Phil Larson cordially replied. "The U.S. government has no evidence that any life exists outside our planet, or that an extraterrestrial presence has contacted or engaged any member of the human race." And, perhaps to the dismay of conspiracy theorists, Larson stated: "In addition, there is no credible information to suggest that any evidence is being hidden from the public's eye."

And that's all there is to it? Well, not exactly. At least one conspiracy theorist unsatisfied with the White House's response is still "sure" that "there are many secret government programs that the president doesn't know exist," says Melissa Bell at The Washington Post. And Larson did leave the possibility of alien life open for debate, admitting that "among the trillions and trillions of stars," the odds are "pretty high" that a planet like our own may support life, says Britain's Daily Mail.

But because the distance between planets is so vast, the likelihood of contact with actual extraterrestrials is still "extremely small."

Monday, November 7, 2011

CNN Anchor Issues Apology to Listeners

Wolf Blitzer
Middle Finger News Service - CNN Situation Room anchor Wolf Blitzer made a major error on his weekend broadcast, mistakenly devoting three whole minutes of airtime to covering the campaign of Congressman Ron Paul (R-TX).

Though Blitzer apologized, CNN suspended the anchor without pay for the duration of the election season as a penalty for covering the  second tier libertarian congressman's long-shot presidential bid.
Blitzer began the broadcast focusing on the soft support for top-tier candidates Mitt Romney and Rick Perry when he suggested, unfathomably, that some Republican voters might be giving Ron Paul a second look.

"The show was humming along until Wolfie cut away to some Ron Paul campaign footage," explained CNN contributor and guest on Blitzer's weekend edition, Mary Matalin. "It could've been a mistake, but he just kept talking about Ron Paul and then asked me if I thought Paul had a shot in New Hampshire. I almost threw up in my mouth."

Blitzer's director cut to commercial break during the segment. When the show returned, a visibly shaken Blitzer apologized to his audience for, "Wasting your time and mine with the foolish pipe dream of a viable Ron Paul candidacy." The mea culpa was not enough for Blitzer's employer, CNN.

"We at CNN are committed to covering serious news and serious candidates for president," explained network spokesperson Vicki Carlyle. "The mere fact that Wolf would mention Ron Paul in the same breath as pizza man, Herman Cain and reviled ex-Speaker, Newt Gingrich is troubling, to say the least." Blitzer wrapped the segment with footage of genuinely serious presidential candidate Rick Santorum at an Iowa Super Target produce department, equating gay marriage with picking fruit in front of an enthusiastic crowd of three.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Michelle O and Caroline Kennedy Discuss the Intimate History of White House

Girls Do Talk

First Lady Michelle Obama waits with Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg in the Green Room of the White House before making remarks to the White House Historical Association, Oct. 31, 2011. The White House hosted a reception to honor the group’s 50th anniversary. 


The OWS Movement is Just Turning into Another Marxist Turdapalooza

Oakland California

......and some of the usual suspects are joining in:
CBS Atlanta:
"The Rev. Jesse Jackson is lending his support to the Occupy Atlanta movement and says that their efforts are an extension of the struggle for civil rights fought by Jackson, the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. and others."
Rev J.J. please. What a sorry attempt to attach civil rights to another loosing cause and get your 1% ass in front of a camera again. Love that face time, eh Rev?

Fox News.com:

ACORN Officials Scramble, Firing Workers and Shredding Documents, After Exposed as Players Behind Occupy Wall Street Protests.
"Officials with the revamped ACORN office in New York -- operating as New York Communities for Change -- have fired staff, shredded reams of documents and told workers to blame disgruntled ex-employees for leaking information in an effort to explain away a FoxNews.com report last week on the group’s involvement in Occupy Wall Street protests, according to sources."
Acorn.....yeah the same Acorn that has taken your tax money and has been involved in, and gotten away with blatant un-prosecuted voter fraud.
And then there's the irony that goes "straight to crazy without passing GO and collecting $200 dollars......." 

"Conservativebyte.com is reporting that the OWS alliance of protesters has gotten tax exempt status. Yes. tax exempt status. That means taxpayers will be footing the bill to some extent of the OWS operations. The only irony here is that the protesters, who oppose capitalism and our very system of governance, are willing, if not eager, to avail themselves of the benefits of capitalism to bring down the very system that is, in essence, supporting their ability to continue in their efforts going forward." 
The list of wealthy 1% hypocrites supporting the whole thing continues to grow, and 1 percenter Michael Moore of course, stands to make money off filming the whole circus. Truth be told, it's going to be interesting to see who is standing in the shadows and supporting the movement in private. And I suspect if violence continues to grow, the media will simply blame it on 'isolated incidents' by a 'small contingency of trouble makers'.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

A Dignified, Transcendent First lady?

 "She was already pretty angry, seemingly
unhappy with just about everything."

Joseph Curl
The Washington Times

"Now, she is ready to spew her bilious disgust with America on the campaign trail. A dignified, transcendent first lady? No chance. Michelle is going to break with a hundred years of tradition and play the role of attack dog, heaping derision on her husband’s political opponents like no other first lady before her....."
"And it’s already begun. Mad Michelle this week popped down to Davis Island, Fla., to hobnob with the very people her husband despises - the 1 percent. At a massive mansion on the bay, filled with the wealthiest of the wealthy, America’s first lady launched into a tirade about “them” - the Republicans...."
"So, America’s first lady will travel the country this election season to tell her fellow Americans just how bad it is out there (between lavish vacations, of course)....."


I say bring it on. I don't think she can convince anyone to vote of her inept husband, much less change anyone's mine that didn't vote for him last time, with hypocritical rhetoric, and only do harm to his chances. She's already know for being the most ungracious first Lady in memory, and class warfare is unbecoming a First Lady who flits around the world on the taxpayers dime.

Besides, who can really take someone serious who looks most often like some wino with the keys to a second hand curtain store dressed her?