Sunday, January 30, 2011

Joe Biden on the Unrest in the Mideast. And as Usual, Joe is Right on Top of it.


Press release from the Library at Alexandria Egypt:

To our friends around the world: The Events in Egypt

Statement of the Director of the Bibliotheca Alexandrina
Jan. 30, 2011

The world has witnessed an unprecedented popular action in the streets of Egypt.  Led by Egypt’s youth, with their justified demands for more freedom, more democracy, lower prices for necessities and more employment opportunities.  These youths demanded immediate and far-reaching changes. This was met by violent conflicts with the police, who were routed.  The army was called in and was welcomed by the demonstrators, but initially their presence was more symbolic than active.  Events deteriorated as lawless bands of thugs, and maybe agents provocateurs, appeared and looting began.  The young people organized themselves into groups that directed traffic, protected neighborhoods and guarded public buildings of value such as the Egyptian Museum and the Library of Alexandria.  They are collaborating with the army.  This makeshift arrangement is in place until full public order returns.

The library is safe thanks to Egypt’s youth, whether they be the staff of the Library or the representatives of the demonstrators, who are joining us in guarding the building from potential vandals and looters.  I am there daily within the bounds of the curfew hours.   However, the Library will be closed to the public for the next few days until the curfew is lifted and events unfold towards an end to the lawlessness and a move towards the resolution of the political issues that triggered the demonstrations.


Friday, January 28, 2011

President WTF Is NO Reagan.



Wednesday, January 26, 2011

If there's anything a Muslim man fears more than Allah, it would be an original thought and a vagina.

Excerpts from The Lunatic's Asylum 

Societies which restrict the spread of information, forbid the principle of debate, stifle education, cut off access to viewpoints which conflict with the "official" point-of-view, are societies which eventually wither and die. They are strangled by a lack of creativity, and a the inability to adapt to an ever-changing world. Societies which treat their women as livestock, and don't bother to educate or encourage them to work in a capacity other than sperm receptacle or human punching-bag, become irrelevant or simply cease to exist, eventually.

The only thing that's keeping the Islamic world relevant is that there's so damned many of them, but the ability to breed like roaches still won't save that culture and those societies from the slow rot from within. They are stale backward cultures. Hence, all the violence. They aren't allowed awareness of another way to live.

The Iranians can cite the Stuxnet virus attacks on their nuclear program all they want, the real reason they're clamping down on the internet is because it's a place where people are exposed to ideas that are dangerous. Well, that and because the Middle East is the internet rape video and donkey sex capital of the world (just ask Google).

No educated women + no political or religious dissent + no exchange of ideas + the criminalization of unofficial thought = Islam is a intellectual wasteland. 

Culture, the real reason why they hate us in the West, it has little to do with religion, it's all about the culture. Our system represents cultural freedom and progress, and theirs represents a culture of repression, ignorance, violence and perpetual poverty, even as they swim in a sea of oil. The Taliban have bombed and set fire to hundreds of schools, most of them for girls. They are incapable of changing so as to match and join us in the 21st Century, so they try to pull us down to their level (that's what terrorism is all about, after all), the easier to enslave us all so that they may live off the fruits of our labors and productive, creative brains.

Productive and creative brains that got that way because we allow dissent, educate our women, and don't spend the majority of our day looking at deviant pornography.  The Whole Fundamentalist Islamic thing has less to do with religion and more about ensuring a system in which Might Makes Right and where men can lord it over women.

Because on close inspection of 21st Century Islam it becomes apparent, if there's anything a Muslim man fears more than God, it would be an original thought and a vagina. 

Edited by Diogenes Sarcastica

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The SOTU Address.

Posted by Diogenes Sarcastica - 1/25/2011
I have never heard so much lying BS since I was sitting in a Deputy's patrol car, handcuffed and pants around my ankles trying to explain why the Sheriff's daughter was in my backseat, nekkid from the waist up! 

Just an example:  
 Obama spoke ambitiously of putting money into roads, research, education, efficient cars, high-speed rail and other initiatives.......He pointed to the transportation and construction projects of the last two years and proposed "we redouble these efforts." He coupled this with a call to "freeze annual domestic spending for the next five years." - The AP

Monday, January 24, 2011

Obama Spends Evening Rehearsing State of the Union.....Jobs, Spending and a Little Whining Again Expected to be Centerpiece.

Chief Justice Roberts sites conflict with Supreme Court's regular Tuesday poker night......Justices may not attend


Friday, January 21, 2011

MSNBC Dumps Keith Olbermann.


For sometime now the rumor has circulated that the more respectable NBC News (snicker) have been embarrassed by their sister network  and the overstuffed, arrogant and combative image of the MSNBC commentators, especially Keith (Bathtub Boy) Olbermann. Recently suspended for contact violation, it comes as no surprise that they canned his ass finally chose to ended their working relationship.  Olbermann's pompous, and sometime unhinged smug world-class a**hole form of presentation were more than NBC and Comcast executives could take anymore. 

So, Goodnight Sir! 
I know somewhere, James Thurber weeps tonight.
But, Dan Rather and Rick Sanchez are waiting in the ally for you with a bottle of Mad Dog 20-20 and a pack of Lucky Strikes. Good Times!

UPDATE:  Ed Schultz and Lawrence O'Donnell were unavailable for comment when word came tonight, as  it was after visiting hours at the rubber room lockup wing at MSNBC studios.............When contacted at her home with the news, Sarah Palin was unable to comment because of uncontrollable laughter.
 Moonbats go nuts!
Democratic Underground 
 Huffington Post & Daily Kos


Thursday, January 20, 2011

Obamas have Chinese for Dinner

President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama host
a State Dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao.
(Washington DC) - After a day of an embarrassing press conference and being rolled like the light weight amateur the world has come to know, Barry and Michelle got swanked up and did the one thing besides vacationing they are really good at, throwing a great dinner party for dignitaries.  
Hollywood luminaries, former secretaries of state, corporate titans, human rights activists, ex-presidents with dictator fetishes and those who gave large cash donations to Obamas presidential campaign were invited to attend. They included actress Barbra Streisand and her husband....whats his name, designer Vera Wang, Vogue editor Anna Wintour, cellist Yo-Yo Ma and his sister Yo-Yo Mama, skater Michelle Kwan, artist Maya Lin and action film star Jackie Chan among others. 

As tradition dictates, President Obama and Hu exchanged toasts.
Obama saluted the people of both countries. "May they grow together in friendship. May they prosper together in peace."

 Hu raised his glass to a "stronger friendship between the people of China and the United States, because we basically own you now." 

Vice President Biden gave a toast on behalf of the American people to the Chinese president in which he declared " as we move forward together in history as friends, we hold no hard feelings toward China, no need to apologize for that Pearl Harbor thing." 
Shortly after the dinner was over many of the attendees were heard commenting that they were hungry again. 

Saturday, January 15, 2011

American Asshat: Paul Krugman

Nominee for Diogenes' 2011 Asshat of the Year

We are all well aware of the tragic events in Arizona last weekend and the ensuing media fallout. That brings me to my pressing question:

Who the hell is this Paul Krugman?

I know well who he is supposed to be: a Nobel prize winning economist, a professor at Princeton, and multi-purpose talking head whose principal media platform is a column in the New York Times, the fish wrap of choice.  And we know his kind: the ones who call out from their Ivory towers to us, the great unwashed. But seriously, for a supposedly deep thinking intellectual, Krugman just churns out nothing but boiler plate bien pensant waffle, week after week.  There's no thinking involved. It’s more like a stimulus response: add Sarah Palin here and watch the head spin. Add Tea Party here for instant spittle- flecked rant.
Middle America for the most part doesn't read the NYT, and like most people, I simply ignore this Krugman fellow.  But, his instant blog on the Arizona shootings was exactly what you'd expect from an angry wee man with a hate-on for the world he envisions in his head. You know, evil Republicans and Tea Party types seizing the country creating a climate of violence etc. 

His column a day later expanded on the theme — Krugman’s people, the virtuous “left” would never do anything like that.  But it wasn’t the blog that pissed me off so much as the thought of  Krugman gleefully rushing to his computer within seconds of hearing of the attack to exploit it for the political ends. Even as the bodies of the dead were still cooling, he already knew everything, without actually knowing anything.

The left champions itself as the party of critical thinking and science, but where the hell was the scientific method in lefty pundits’ analyses of the weekends events? All I saw was post-hoc confabulation, perverse wishful thinking, confirmation bias and other types of fallacies. Zero critical thinking. Just contemptible idiocy as far as the eye could see.

The most unseemly aspect though, was how EXCITED people like Markos Moulitsas from the Daily Kos, Matthew Yglesias, etc.'s as if all the fresh corpses gave them a psycho sexual adrenaline rush. I hope they have toweled off all their secretions.

As for Mr. Krugman, I feel he owes some people an apology, but I hope no one is holding their breath till that happens.

The left needs to find reason and logic soon. I want to return to making fun of them in good humor and have fun at the expense of their trim, fit physiques and snug-fitting cycling shorts. 


Friday, January 14, 2011

Help Us Prevent The Next MSNBC

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

MSNBC Warns Changing Programing could Spell Disaster for Network.

"It's About Angry Rhetoric
That's What We're all About!"

Public calls for a reduction in hate filled and inflammatory political rhetoric on cable news networks have plunged the MSNBC News Channel into utter chaos.  A spokesperson warning that such a move could leave the network with pretty much all 24 hours to fill.  

Network spokeperson Shadow Pierson-Finkelroy said not to underestimate the giant hole this would create in their programing. “MSNBC without inflammatory rantings would be like The Weather Channel without maps."  The network has been in a tooth and nail battle with CNN at the bottom of the cable news ratings. 

 Ms. Pierson-Finkelroy said MSNBC was preparing for a “worst-case scenario” in which it is pressured to air responsible statements in place of its current bias flame throwing programming. She said "if it comes to that God forbid, we'll just have to air 24 hours of Seinfeld.”  

 In contrast with Ms.Pierson-Finkelroy's alarming  comments, one of MSNBC's most inflammatory hired mouthpieces, Special Ed Schultz took the news of a possible programming change in stride: “If I’m kicked off the air, I’ll just return to my first love: standing in the back of crowded theaters and yelling at people." 

 But commentator Keith Olbermann was less enthusiastic about the new call for tempered rhetoric: “I finally mustered the courage and got a Obama tattoo like Matthews and now this!  And for the first time in my life I won't have anything to write on my hand.” Chris Matthews and Lawrence O'Donnell both took the news badly and were heard ranting and raving in the parking garage about it was all Dick Chenney's fault and that they had friends in high places that won't be happy about all this!  Also MSNBC's resident sexually confused commentator Rachael Madow, told ZipWad Magazine, if forced off the air he wouldn't know what to do with all the goofy glasses he wears on air, but was sure he looked sufficiently gay enough to get a job at "The Gap" if need be. 
In other cable news developments, CNN confirmed that it was considering dropping Kathleen Parker from its “Parker Spitzer” program, but said it had balked at Elliot Spitzer’s suggestion of “a different woman every night.”

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

If I May Be So Bold......

As I look over my notes and scribbled post-its from the past year, I can't help but believe I was a bit remiss by not offering a little advice and insight to the Rich, Powerful and Famous of our society.  Being busy and all, I just totally forgot to give em a call. These things happen! 

So that I don't fall into that shameful pool of forgetfulness again this year, I have decided to go ahead and give them a little piece of my mind early in hope that I can help them achieve that happy and  successful new year nirvana we all strive for.
This is far from my complete list:
To President Obama: Yo Man, go pick up a leadership training course at the local Barnes and Noble or something. Blaming Republicans for your failures (and there are many) isn't the sign of a great leader. And please, get a pair of golf pants and quit wearing those friggin shorts when you play. Flip-flops and shorts ain't presidential either.....know what I'm sayin? 

To Nancy Pelosi: Take a hard look at your performance as Speaker of the House, Lady. I know what you think you did, but what you did was to alienate a lot of people, including in your own party. And your lame excuses and stupid comments ("We have to pass the bill to know what's in it.") insults the intelligence of average Americans.  But at least you got the menu changed in the House cafeteria.  

To Harry Reid: Count your blessings little man . You dodged an electoral bullet this past November and by all accounts, you haven't earned your position as Senate Majority Leader, but you survived. The next time, you may not be so lucky. Not every Republican is Sharron Angle.

To John Boehner: Congratulations to you Sir!
I ask you pay attention to the TEA Party movement and bring the Republican Party back to its small government roots. What has happened over the past two years isn't a fluke. Believe me on this one.

To Sarah Palin: Not a fan, don't think you're a winner. are probably the most valuable conservative since Regan and can be a King and Queen maker if you choose. With people from both sides attacking you, learn to pick your battles.  You don't have to respond to them all. Most of the attacks are nonsense anyway. And, if you ever decide to go cougar, I'll be the first in line!

To George Soros: Hope you resolve to spend more of your money trying to take down Glenn Beck. That way you lose even more money on another futile effort, of which you seemed to enjoy doing these days. I hear land is really cheap around the Mexican border nowadays.

To Lady Gaga: I know I speak for a lot of people when I say, we've seen all this before and you really should apologize to  Madonna for stealing her her shtick, circa 1990. 

To Sean Hannity, Dude, expand your horizons to pick up more than six basic talking points to repeat every day and to use other guests than your usual ten who you seem to have on every week for one reason or another. Seriously. 

To the MSNBC network: Just kept doing what you're doing. 
It won't be long now!

To Janet Napolitano: Why you are the Secretary of anything is beyond me! You couldn't even secure the borders of your own state as governor.....and sending DHS agents to the Gulf Coast to oversee the oil spill? Lady, you're a long way from competent. Read the Constitution. It clearly states what your first duty to do is.

To Joy Behar: I never thought anyone could make Roseanne Barr sound intelligent, till you came along. Hey, you and Alec Baldwin should run for King and Queen of NY. Watching you trying to keep a crown planted on that pointed head of yours would be more entertaining than anything your involved in now!

To America's enemies around the world: Remember, we have an election coming up in 2 years, and if current trends continue, you won't have Obama helping you by being incompetent.

To America's allies around the world:  Remember, we have an election coming up in 2 years, and if current trends continue, you won't have to put up with Obama's incompetence for much longer..........We apologize for the inconvenience. 

Biden to the Rescue.

White House Pins Hopes on Joe.
 Facing a revived Republican Party, the White House is
expected to increasingly deploy the Vice President. 

This is almost to good to be true!
According to the Chicago Tribune, despite constant gaffes insiders say the Vice President will take a higher profile position in dealing with the new Republican controlled Congress and a upfront spokesman for the President's policies to an unsatisfied electorate going forward to the 2012 election season.  Biden, it seems, is the Obama's Administration's secret weapon...... so to speak. 
"Biden's penchant for veering off message is being reevaluated inside the White House as a bridge to ordinary voters who appreciate blunt talk......." 
"Inside the White House, aides have developed a special Biden rule. Rather than squirm over the latest Biden gaffe, the administration treats it as plainspoken candor that may appeal to a portion of the electorate that is unmoved by Obama’s disciplined, explanatory rhetoric".......…
"The rest of the White House is coming around to the idea that sometimes what the vice president says that’s off-message is just a really blunt and colorful way of expressing a truth, and they should embrace that,” said an administration official who requested anonymity to speak more candidly about the matter."
"It's a big administration, and we can have more than one voice and more than one style," the official added.
Sounds more like a plan of preemptive damage control for the the equivalent of a human verbal wrecking crew. But having Biden out front could be very interesting indeed!
One of the best quotes yet about Biden's gaffes and famous "Foot in Mouth" problem comes from Republican strategist Kevin Madden....."Rhetorically, Biden is constantly getting ahead of his supply lines." 

 To be continued.....


Monday, January 3, 2011

Just in Time for the 112th Congress


"Forrest and Barack together fight the Fascist Tea Baggers and evil Republicans in Congress to save the Union......." "Magnificent!...." "Greatest Epic since Reds" - Roger Ebert

"Restores our faith in Amerika." 5 Stars- The Nation Magazine
"A masterpiece of film-making and a magnificent vision of the struggle  for the country over the Right-Wing Conspiracy that threatens the entire existence of mankind on this planet and the universe. Bravo! "- The Daily Kos.