Saturday, December 31, 2016

Happy New Year to All You DMFers

I'd like to take this last opportunity of 2016 to Thank You All for your support of DMF,  our best year yet.  And to also wish each and everyone one of yous guys (seen and unseen) A Very Happy, Safe and Prosperous 2017. - Jan

A Special Middle Finger Symphony New Years Eve Jam

Happy New Year Y'all! 

Friday, December 30, 2016

New Years Bowl Weekend- Yeah Boy!

Saturday morning kicks off a day of football sure to have a game for everyone who enjoys college football. The newly crowned Heisman winner takes to the field, and the National Championship Game participants will to be decided are just two of the examples of what is in-store for this weekend. 

The Citrus Bowl - Orlando Fla. 
(CBS 10 am) 
Louisville vs. LSU

Saturday at 10 am kicks off new years weekend with the Citrus Bowl: The ACC Louisville Cardinals and the LSU Tigers of the SEC.  This will be the 6th time in 10 seasons the Tigers have faced a Heisman winner, but this years Citrus bowl has eerie similarities to a another bowl game..

This year the trophy is not as valuable, but the same swagger is evident. The newly crown Heisman King, a very dangerous Lamar Jackson, and the Cards started the year out as a steamroller, only to lose their last two games to end the year. The cardinals have averaged 461 yds. a game this year.  The Tigers stingy defense, who will be out to prove their steel, will have their hands full for sure. 

In the Cards favor is naturally the most explosive player in college football right now. In the Tigers' favor is the #5 ranked overall Defense in the nation , and the fact Louisville has given up 13 turnover in the last three games. I expect big plays from both sides, but if the Tigers can keep Jackson from running to the outside and contain him to the middle, they have a better then good chance of winning.  My only worry is the Tiger defense will again be without LB Kendall Beckwith in the middle. His absence was glaringly apparent in the last game of the season at A&M.  Up until that point the Tigers had led the nation in fewest TD's allowed. 

The sports monkeys are calling it a toss-up....... GEAUX TIGERS!

I say Tigers By 6 

Both Graphics Above Are The Work Of My Most Excellent SEC Sister Curmudgeon 

The Peach Bowl - Atlanta Georgia
( ESPN - 2 pm)
Alabama vs. Washington

As they say; Be careful what ya wish for! Not long ago Washington Huskies fans, high from their Pac 12 Championship game win held up signs for the national audience to see proclaiming 'WE WANT BAMA'.  And just like a ol' dog chasing a car, once you catch it, ya gotta deal with it. 

So, now what ya gonna do? 

Not to take anything away from the Huskies excellent QB Jake Browning, who we will most likely see slinging balls on Sunday one day, but guys, you do realize Alabama hasn't lost a game since Oct 2015?!  Boys, boys...... 

But keep you chins up Huskies, I fear you're about to receive the same treatment all good teams get from the Crimson Tide. They will play football with you for 20 minutes or so, then punch you right in the face just to remind you who you're dealing with. Then at halftime make their adjustments, then come out and wear your ass out!

You see, this may not be the most explosive or flashiest Crimson Tide team Nick Saban has fielded. But as has come to many peoples realization is, this may be the best team he has every put on a field! And like a train barreling toward it's appointed destination, and unfortunately as many who came before you, are standing on the tracks. But you can take solace that you were part of football history, and beaten by the best.  

And after January 9th we will no longer be asking that question: "Is Nick Saban the Best to ever coach College football?"


I say Alabama by 14+  

The Feista Bowl - Glendale AZ.
(6pm - ESPN)
Ohio St vs. Clemson

I'm sorry, I have never believed Ohio St was a #2 team or as good as the big10 Ra-Ra sports monkeys said they are. Look at their schedule.  They are a young team to be reckoned with.

At the same time, I think Clemson has been inconsistent, but underestimated. That's what makes this a hard game to perceive. All in all, I have to go with a proven Deshaun Watson's play making to pick them a winner.  It will set up a rematch for the NC.  

I say Clemson by 10 ✔  
Hate to say I told you so.....but

Monday Jan 2:

The Steak Bowl -  Florida vs Iowa.  
Iowa by 6

The Cotton Bowl - Eastern Mich vs Wisconsin.  
Badgers by 10

Sugar Bowl - Auburn vs Oklahoma.
Sooners by 14

The Notorious WH Photo-bomber Captured Mooning Surveillance Cameras at Obama Hawaiian Retreat

(Honored as the most plagiarized DMF post of 2016)

Previous Photo-bomber Appearances Here  

Thank You Dr.Tar for the Linkage

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Dershowitz vs Kerry

John Kerry’s history on foreign policy throughout the years has been nothing short of a disaster.  Kerry ended his foreign policy career as Obama's Useful Idiot with a preposterous, rambling, lengthy speech poking a finger in the eye of Israel.

John Kerry: America's Worst Secretary of State

Let’s skip the formalities and stipulate that the Obama administration hates Benjamin Netanyahu. Most muslim sympathizers do.  That’s why Obama sent his campaign team to Israel to defeat PM Netanyahu.  And with that in mind, it didn’t take long for PM Netanyahu’s office to respond to Kerry’s speech, saying “For more than an hour, Kerry obsessed over the issue of settlements and hardly touched on the root of the conflict – Palestinian resistance to a Jewish state within any borders.”

Kerry’s inability or unwillingness to admit that the Palestinians have never negotiated in good faith with Israelis is the heart of the problem. It’s why Kerry’s diplomacy is such a failure. Later, PM Netanyahu added "Israelis do not need to be lectured about the importance of peace by foreign leaders."

Saying that relations between this administration and Israel are chilly is understatement. Saying that Secretary Kerry is more incompetent than Mrs. Clinton is mind-boggling. 

Alan Dershowitz’s op-ed in the Boston Globe obliterates Secretary Kerry’s speech. This paragraph alone obliterates most of Kerry’s BS:
"Before June 4, 1967, Jews were forbidden from praying at the Western Wall, Judaism’s holiest site. They were forbidden to attend classes at the Hebrew University at Mt. Scopus, which had been opened in 1925 and was supported by Albert Einstein. Jews could not seek medical care at the Hadassah Hospital on Mt. Scopus, which had treated Jews and Arabs alike since 1918. Jews could not live in the Jewish Quarter of Jerusalem, where their forbearers had built homes and synagogues for thousands of years. These Judenrein prohibitions were enacted by Jordan, which had captured by military force these Jewish areas during Israel’s War of Independence, in 1948, and had illegally occupied the entire West Bank, which the United Nations had set aside for an Arab state. When the Jordanian government occupied these historic Jewish sites, they destroyed all the remnants of Judaism, including synagogues, schools, and cemeteries, whose headstones they used for urinals. Between 1948 and 1967 the UN did not offer a single resolution condemning this Jordanian occupation and cultural devastation."
The Obama administration knew that this resolution would tip the international scales into the Palestinians’ favor. Here’s Dershowitz’s explanation of that:
"But that has now changed with the adoption of the Security Council Resolution. The UN has now determined that, subject to any further negotiations and agreements, the Jewish areas of Jerusalem recaptured from Jordan in 1967 are not part of Israel. Instead, according to the resolution, they are territories being illegally occupied by Israel, and any building in these areas — including places for prayer at the Western Wall, access roads to Mt. Scopus, and synagogues in the historic Jewish Quarter — “constitutes a flagrant violation under international law.” If that indeed is the status quo, absent “changes . . . agreed by the parties through negotiations,” then what incentives do the Palestinians have to enter negotiations?"
Barack Obama and his administration's hostility towards Israel has never been more openly displayed than during this past week. Without question, he’s been the most hostile, anti-Israel president in US history.  And John Kerry was his Toad.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Nothing Says Education Like Storytime With Drag Queens

Image: PJ Media

White Privilege, Black Lives Matter, Transgender Mania, White Genocide etc, etc, etc.....and the Progtards of America are still scratching their heads and wondering why the words "President -Elect Donald Trump" have entered the lexicon of America English......... 

Brooklyn Public Library Hosts Drag Queen Story Time 

Extravagant dresses, perfectly coiffured wigs, and whole lot of personality is all part of the show. No, it’s not a drag show with adults and booze at a bar, it’s Drag Queen Story Hour at the local library with curious children and their parents. They are reading all of the classics and fairy tales to the kids, giving them lessons in good, evil, and morality. 

But seriously people,  are we so obsessed with sex that we need to turn a toddler story time at the public library into a drag show?  

The Brooklyn Public Library took a cue from the San Francisco Public Library by initiating their own version of the “Drag Queen Story Hour” for kids. That’s where dudes dress up like chicks and read fairy tales about chicks loving dudes to "curious” toddler. Kids aren’t curious about transvestites. At least, not in the way trans advocates like to believe everyone is curious about transvestites. Kids, especially little ones, couldn’t care less whether or not what you’re wearing corresponds to gender norms. 

So this has nothing to do with engaging toddlers with the practice of reading, which is what library story time is supposed to be all about. Instead, the "Drag Queen Story Hour” is yet another example of social justice advocates manipulating a family event for the purpose of political grandstanding.

Kindness, empathy, and peace are such great buzzwords, aren’t they? Words like that are so helpful when it comes to masking political intentions. “Molding kids while they’re young” doesn’t sound creepy or suspicious at all. Parents of toddlers who frequent library story hours would tend to agree. But let's face it, if their child is going to act out against anyone, it’s most likely going to be the kid who tries to take his toy away, not the drag queen looking to star in a publicity stunt.

[PJ Media]
[Scary Mommy]

Moochell Obama’s Final Scorecard As First Lady

As we on the right recognized long ago, Michelle Obama has been one of the worst First Lady’s ever. Sure she could be charming and well spoken when she needed to be, but we could see through the facade and saw the angry black woman. Liberals are falling all over themselves to praise her in these final days, and they keep saying her ratings are through the roof. We see her for who she really is, someone who has really done nothing to help America.

Michelle Obama is put up on a pedestal by the black community for no other reason than being First Lady. According to The Root here are the five of the things Michelle did that the liberals say were her best moments:

1. Launching the Let’s Move! Initiative 
2  Becoming BFFs With BeyoncĂ© 
3. Taking a Chance on a Guy Who Made Less Money Than She Did 
4. Hosting an African Dance Class at the White House 
5. Rocking, Like, a Thousand Different Hairstyles

Okay, I'll wait for you to stop laughing......

The actual article is titled, “The 10 Blackest Things Michelle Has Ever Done,” and for an African-American magazine that translates into why they believe Michelle is the best. 

Those of us who watched her closely throughout Barky’s presidency know that she started her tenure with telling us why she has never been proud of America.  Now, she is ending it by saying that America is hopeless in her interview with Oprah. She thinks we are hopeless because Obama was the guy who brought us hope and now he is leaving. However, we all know Obama brought us nothing but division.

Michelle will go down as the first African-American First Lady, that is what primarily she will be remembered for. But she will also be known as the First Lady who travel widely at our expense. Vacationing under the guise of education, along with moms Robinson and daughters Sushi and Malaria, were joined by Meryl Streep for a jaunt around Africa and the Mediterranean, along with romps through China and Europe.

Spending $100 million in expenses on a vacation and using the cover that it was for promoting girls’ education is rich.  But even these extravagances will fade with time. All the other rude gestures and the big spending will be forgotten. She will have left no mark and will be remembered for nothing of value.   

Any personal comparisons to a cultured Jacqueline Kennedy or a graceful Nancy Regan are ludicrous. She lowed the bar considerably, let fruity gay fashion designers dress her like a clown and made a fool of herself on public. She was African-American first, and the First Lady of that race. Over time that won’t be much to remember, either.  You can take the girl out of the ghetto, but.....

Michelle Obama, the First Lady who had eight years, the position and capital to do good in this world, but really didn’t do a damn thing worthwhile. 

[The Root]                                               Thank You MJA for the Linkage!

Saturday, December 24, 2016

To All The Readers of DMF........

The house is full, the presents are wrapped and my peoples are here from across the pond. All is well at the Maison de Sarcastica.  I wish to all my Readers, Commenters and Fellow Blogger Friends a Very Blessed and Merry Christmas, and a prosperous Happy New Year. - Jan 
Que Dieu vous bĂ©nisse tous!  
......and a little Christmas Funny from Earl

A Special Christmas Eve Middle Finger Symphony

To All a Very Merry and Blessed Christmas




Thursday, December 22, 2016

Joe Plans to Join the Ivy League After Leaving Office

Vice President Joe Biden will "set up shop" at the prestigious University of Pennsylvania when he leaves office in January. As we all remember, Barack Obama charged Biden with the job of curing cancer last year, and Joe launched his “cancer moonshot” initiative at Penn’s Abramson Cancer Center in January.  

"We're ecstatic over the possibility of Joe Biden coming to campus," Penn Democrats President and College sophomore Rachel Pomerantz said. "We have a lot of Joe Biden fans." No word if Biden will be invited to be an honorary frat boy or not.

Biden’s presence on campus will provide a stark political contrast to President-elect and 1968 Wharton graduate Donald Trump. Biden was harshly critical of Trump when he campaigned for Clinton this year, at one point claiming he would like to “take Trump out behind the gym.”

But not to worry America, we should be confident in Biden's leadership abilities as he showed in his command acumen during the epic fight against Ebola two years ago. 

Earl Done This
[The Daily Pennsylvanian]
Thank You MJA for the Linkage

New Years Resolutions for the Smug, Liberal Millennial Know-nothings...

The following is from Matt Walsh’s Tuesday column "Hey, smug millennial liberals — here are some New Year’s resolutions for you." He wrote this in response to the idiotic video MTV made about New Years Resolutions for white people. Every single one of these resolutions is spot on. Especially the first one.

All of the emphases in bold are mine.

Resolution 1: Stop being bigots.

Before you make some blanket statement about white men, imagine what the statement would sound like if you replaced “white men” with any other demographic group. For example, the video begins by saying, “Hey white guys, here are a few things you could do better in 2017.” Now imagine a video that began, “Hey black women, here are a few things you could do better in 2017,” or, “Hey Mexicans, here are a few things you could do better in 2017,” or, “Hey transgendered Asians, here are a few things you could do better in 2017.”
You would need months of counseling after watching any of those, wouldn’t you? And why is that? Well, because you’re incredibly sensitive, but also because you would most certainly consider it the height of bigotry for anyone to spend two minutes telling black people, or Mexicans, or homosexuals all of the things they need to stop doing and stop saying and stop believing. And you’d probably be right.
Now here’s the thing: you don’t have a bigotry hall pass. You don’t get to heap scorn and hatred on white men and then walk away feeling like you’re any better than the average white supremacist. In fact, you’re probably worse. Or at least you represent something that’s worse. White (male) supremacy is not a mainstream ideology. It’s roundly rejected by almost everyone all across the political spectrum. But black supremacy, woman supremacy, gay supremacy — the belief that these groups are morally and intellectually superior to white men — is very much a part of the mainstream. They teach it in college, which is probably where you picked it up.
Your bigotry is worse than any other kind of bigotry in America precisely because it’s so popular and so accepted. Worst of all, it’s the only kind of bigotry that can often be mistaken for virtue. But bigotry is bigotry all the same. You are bigots. So, stop it.

Resolution 2: Stop spreading the myth that America is inherently racist and sexist.

America isn’t great for anyone who isn’t a white guy? Maybe you should tell that to our black president. Actually, he may very well agree with you, but that’s because he shares in your delusions and prejudices.
You may notice that many non-whites and non-men stream into this country from all across the globe every year. In fact, your ancestors did the same. The girl who delivered the “America isn’t great” line in the video is a minority herself. That means her parents or grandparents came here precisely because this country is far greater than the one they fled. Perhaps she can drive home from her expensive college in the car her parents bought her, walk into their nice, climate controlled home, and inform them that America isn’t great for her. Maybe she can convince them that she’d like to return to the poverty and tyranny in whichever country her family originates. Something tells me they will not be anxious to join her.
I would argue that the “greatness” of America has taken a severe hit because of its increasingly godless, progressive, decadent culture. But that’s the kind of culture you guys want and have fought to establish, so you have no reason to complain about it. As far as you’re concerned, America is very near perfect. You can wear your nice clothes, talk on your nice phones, go to college, say whatever you want, think whatever you want, do whatever you want, make racist videos, and bask in a culture that largely reflects and reinforces your flawed worldview. What in God’s name are you complaining about? If this isn’t great enough for you, I hate to think how you’ll react if things ever get legitimately bad in this country.

Resolution 3: Develop an iota of humility and gratitude.

We’ve mostly covered the gratitude piece. You have many reasons to be grateful, especially if you’re a racial minority or a woman, knowing that you have it better here than you’d have it virtually anywhere else on the globe. And as triggering as this idea may be, you also have many reason to be grateful to the white men you spend all day whining about.
It was mostly white men who founded this country. It was mostly white men who developed it. It was mostly white men who innovated our technology, medical advancements, etc. It was mostly white men who saved the entire globe from catastrophe several times in the 20th century alone. No, it wasn’t exclusively white men, but mostly. And you ought to recognize that, and be grateful for it.
This also speaks to humility. If you’re a progressive college-aged millennial, you have absolutely no standing to lecture anyone about anything. You haven’t done anything with your life. You haven’t accomplished anything. You haven’t sacrificed anything. You have no wisdom. You know very little, and far less than you think. Humble yourself and start listening for a change. And then maybe when you’ve worked a job, gotten married, had some kids, read some books that weren’t assigned to you by a college professor, had a few ups and downs, encountered life fully detached from the bosom of your parents and academia, then maybe your opinions will carry some weight. But, if you follow those steps, your opinions will also have changed drastically by then.

Resolution 4: Stop denying reality.

You live in a physical universe. It’s important to know a few things about that universe: First, it exists. Second, it has laws. Third, you can’t change those laws. Fourth, as my friend Ben Shapiro might say, it doesn’t care about your feelings.
An unborn human doesn’t lose its humanity just because you don’t want it to be human. A man doesn’t become a woman just because he’d prefer not to have a penis. The fundamental nature of something can’t be altered at all, by any force, but especially not by the force of your imagination. God Himself cannot make 2 plus 2 equal 5, because that is inherently irrational and therefore inherently impossible. Despite what you may have been told, you are not God. And if God can’t do it, your chances of success are considerably diminished.
People are people. Men are men. Women are women. These are the basic facts of life, the parameters of existence, and you will not be able to function as a normal, decent human being until you accept them. But again, this will take some humility. It really requires only the slightest hint of modesty to accept that you are not more powerful than God. It’s disturbing to think that so many of you do not possess even that much of it.

Resolution 5: Get rid of all of your buzzwords.

They’re all stupid and they make you sound stupid when you use them. None more so than “mansplaining.” If a man happens to be teaching you something or offering instruction, as I am doing here, he is not “mansplaining.” He’s simply explaining. He’s a man explaining things. His explanations are not made illegitimate by the fact that he is a man.Indeed, if that were the case, we’d have to throw out everything that was “mansplained” to us by Einstein, Newton, Galileo, Copernicus, Da Vinci, Aristotle, Socrates, Aquinas, and so on. In other words, if we were to scoff at and dismiss every insight or discovery given to us by some misogynistic mansplainer, we would very quickly find ourselves back in the Stone Age worshiping the Sun god and dying of diarrhea and Typhoid.
I suppose if a millennial feminist could have been there when Aristotle wrote Ethics, or when Copernicus posited heliocentricism, or when Martin Luther King Jr. delivered the “I Had a Dream” speech, she would have given a patronizing smirk and lectured about the dangers of mansplaining. I guess, then, it’s a good thing that those were more serious times populated by more serious sorts of people.

Resolution 6: Stop worshiping Beyonce.

Since you brought it up, let me state for the record that, no, not everyone loves her. I mean, I love her in the sense that I am obligated as a Christian to love all human beings. But as a singer I finder her bland and uninteresting, and the content of her songs I find illiterate, vile, and degrading. But even if she were a real musician and her songs were intelligent and substantive, I’d still warn against worshiping her or any other pop star.

Resolution 7: Stop wearing cat shirts.

This one is self-explanatory.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

The Little Midget's Fantasy Inaugural Celebration

Taking denial to the next level, everyones favorite loony munchkin Robert Reich is dreaming of an alternative to Donald Trump''s Inaugural Celebration complete with celebrity twerkers, bad musicians, washed-up actors and the hate whitey crowd........ 

I know nothing says celebration like a bunch of trashy butt-hurt talent challenged hate America celebrates that continue to drag culture into the sewer.


Grabien - In a year known mostly for mayhem, misfortune, and madness, America’s media quickly proved themselves fit for narrating this first draft of history. All too often, when the news got tough, the TV news got weird.  Embarrassingly weird.

While picking 10 of the most egregious examples was no easy task, Grabien whittled thousands of clips down to four minutes that represent 2016 in a (really disfigured) nutshell.

Without further ado, here are the media’s 10 most mortifying moments of 2016.
10. After Donald Trump’s underdog victory, many in the media looked for scapegoats. But TBS’s Samantha Bee went the furthest — blaming white people for “ruining” America.
9. Hillary notoriously avoided direct questions from the press all year. So when Lester Holt became one of the few to somehow score a sit down with Mrs. Clinton, his softballs-only interview was journalistically humiliating.
8. Cuba’s long time dictator expired this year, and many in America’s media … mourned.
7. Perhaps not historically significant, but a particularly comical case of media malpractice came when an enchanted Andrea Mitchell breathlessly recapped the “magical” evening she was having at a Hillary rally.
6. Over on PBS, David Brooks and David Corn somehow connected the dots between Ted Cruz and Satan.
5. After the devastating mass slaughter in Orlando, the media embraced its unfortunate habit of speculating where things went wrong — looking everywhere, it seemed, besides Islamic terrorism.
4. After another tragedy — this time an alligator snatching a toddler from a Disney World beachfront — CNN’s Brooke Baldwin thankfully had the presence of mind to ask a local animal expert … what the alligator was thinking.
3. On MSNBC, the now-canceled Melissa Harris Perry worried that Flint, Mich., might become Obama’s … Fugitive Slave Act?
2. After Orlando, many progressive congressmen staged a sit-in on the floor of the House of Representatives. The media, you might be unsurprised to discover, went absolutely bananas with delight.
1. If there was one thing the media was absolutely sure of in 2016, it was … Hillary Clinton’s inevitable landslide victory. Whoops.
Runners up.
* Martha Raddatz crying after Hillary lost.
* The hosts of The View trashing Bill Clinton's accusers are "tramps."
* CNN staff joking about Donald Trump's plane crashing
 You can see the four minutes of clips of these media geniuses HERE.