Tuesday, November 29, 2011

GOP Primary Candidate Linden Borden Tops New Hampshire Poll

 Middle Finger News Service - As predicated in our earlier primary endorsement, third tier candidate, Linden Borden, has started his march to the front of the GOP primary pack.

In a non-scientific poll of kinda likely Conservative voters in New Hampshire which asked "if you could pick anyone or anybody to replace Barack Obama and become the next President, who would you pick?" Borden finished well behind N.J.Governor Chris Christie, former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee and Long Dead 2 term President, Ronald Reagan, none of who are running, but finished just ahead the undeclared Republican Star Sarah Palin in the poll.

Borden, listed as "A Shiny Metal Object " in the poll because of the exposed metal plate in his head, a result of an ax catching competition accident as a young man, finished ahead of all the first tier candidates now in the race. The only candidate to garner a major endorsement in New Hampshire so far, Newt Gingrich, objected to the methodology of gathering their polling results, claiming large, hatch wielding men with Borden for President T-shirts on were accompanying the pollsters. We have no reports to verify his claims.