Throwback Thursday: Horrific Night House Chamber Was Temporarily Evacuated

From the Middle Finger News Service Archives - Jan 2017

 

MFNS-WASHINGTON DC - Late Friday night near panic struck the Chamber of the House of Representatives during a debate before those present of a bill sponsored by democrats for $350 Billon in federal funding for the construction of "Transgender Only Driving Lines" within California's Federal Highway system. The bill was Sponsored by House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Cal.) 

The debate was interrupted when House Speaker Paul Ryan notice Pelosi, at the dais at the time, head began to violently quiver from side to side. Middle Finger News Congressional Correspondent, Ima Gonagetu spoke to Speaker Ryan after the incident:

"I knew something was wrong when Minority Leader Pelosi began slurring her words and her face began to contort and could hear a metallic popping sounds...... and then heard the House Clerk scream and saw blood gushing from her forearm as she passed out and fell face first onto her desk....... I yelled THERE SHE BLOWS and ran for the door....."

What many who worked closely with Pelosi over the years feared would someday happen, happened. The permanent metal staples from her numerous massive face-lifts had begun to come loose. There was shrapnel in the air.

Along with the House Clerk, others wounded included the august Rep. John Lewis (D-Ga.) who survived a flying staple injury on the cheek. 

"I'm Okay. I feel honored to have shed blood in this hallowed hall in an honorable cause for our Transgendered brothers and sisters....or huh... ......as honored as when I got my head bashed in with a brick doing up some trouble during the Civil Rights movement." 

The few in congress who were there ignoring Pelosi's speech ducked under their desk for cover while others ran for the door. Many of the members later found metal staples lodge in their suit coats.

One such Congressman was Rep. Bullet-Head Elijah Cummings (D-Md.) who told us of his harrowing experience: 

"There was fear in the air when everyone realized what was going on. I hadn't been that scared since last time I walked through my district in Baltimore! It was scary I tell you!" 

Minority Leader Pelosi was restrained and removed from the House floor, later to be spotted exiting a black SUV at Walter Reed Army Hospital with a large Walmart bag over her head.

DEVELOPING...

Nan is Running - "To Take a Punch or Throw a Punch"

I have to admit I was a bit surprised yesterday when Nancy Pelosi announced that she was running for re-election to win her 19th term in Congress. 19th Term. She says it's for the "children". But I question just which 'children' she means. 

The coming midterm elections aren't looking good right now for democrats. In fact, short of some kind of divine intervention, Biden’s troops are going to get absolutely boat-raced. It could stack up to be a wave election that makes 2010 look like child’s play. Democrat incumbent rats are jumping ship in a sure fire sign of impending doom. 

Just how bad are things?  Nan may have given us a hint with this creepy video (she apparently found the old “Full House” set), in which she announced that she’s running for re-election.

House Democrats agitated for change to their party’s leadership following their loss of 13 seats in 2020 after predictions indicated major gains. After the 2018 midterms, dems could only afford to have 15 people not vote for Pelosi. Some of the newly elected progressives after that election, who had not yet found where the bathrooms were in the Capitol, started raising some hell about how things were done under the old guard Democrats. 

They of course meant, Nancy Pelosi.

Pelosi won the Speakership again in an unexpectedly dramatic vote for the fourth time last January, which she has promised would be her last. She knows time is NOT on her side now and if the Democrats get wiped out in 10 months not only will she no longer be speaker, she could also lose out being the minority leader.

So why run again?

Good ole Political Pettiness.

Pelosi is part of the old school politicians that ran opponents into the ground and if you were on the same party as them, they took an odd pride in how they made political life miserable for you. (See LBJ). Almost like the mob, but the mob had rules and actually helped the poor on occasion.

If you google anything about how much Nancy and AOC love each other you won’t find much if anything, but you will find some super juicy stories about how much they'd like to shiv each other. Insiders have said in meetings between the two, the air seemed thick with some bad juju. 

Pettiness has to be a large part here for an 80+-year-old woman who has become filthy rich as an elected official and has little gas left in the tank.  I think she is out for her pound of political flesh from the 30 something AOC and her sometime childish squad of Bernie worshipping marxist soft skulls like the Jamma Paypal or what ever her name is, who have done the unthinkable - they've crossed the Speaker of the House and stuck their finger in the eye of the old guard dems. 

Without the reservations of the speakers gavel, the squad had better get ready for some rough water from their own side of the aisle because there's going to be a epic showdown with the progressive wing, which has been impatiently waiting to take the reins from the former establishment. 

They’ve swallowed Pelosi’s iron handed leadership for years now with the promise that she would finally hand things over after this year’s election. Now, that promise looks to have been broken, and it’s going to result in some major infighting when the time comes to vote on leadership.

There’s something disturbingly funny about an Botox embalmed 81-year-old politician struggling to walk in 4" heels refusing to hand over power like this, but it has the making of good Spaghetti Western Intrigue. 

Officer Harry Dunn: One of Pelosi's Handpicked Witness.

One of the Pelosi's chosen "Insurrection" Capitol Hill police witnesses, who claimed he was called a "nigger" numerous times, is a black activist who expressed overt political and racial biases on social media. Dunn should’ve scrubbed his social media before putting on his uniform and propagandizing with crocodile yesterday. The receipts are brutal.  

 

~ Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS for the Linkage! ~

Pelosi's Spiteful, Maliciously Childish Pettiness on Full Display

In the years since DJT upended American politics by destroying the planned coronation of Hillary Clinton as President, Democrats have been revealing themselves almost daily as the most bitter and spiteful politicians in the country’s history since the last time their party tried to destroy it in the 1860s.  And if this is the kind of unity Democrats are pushing now, they going to be in for a real surprise when they find out 75 million Americans aren’t buying it.

On January 3rd, every member of the 117th Congress was permitted to have a family member witness the official swearing in from the House gallery. Today speaker Pelosi denied the request for Rep. Claudia Tenney’s son to be in the gallery. Newly elected New York Rep.Tenney and her family have waited three months since the November election for Tenney to finally be sworn-in to the seat she flipped red.

According to The Daily Caller, Tenney’s son, a graduate of the prestigious Naval Academy, and now an officer in the United States Marines, was not allowed to attend the ceremony.

Most sane Americans would consider that the kind of man you’d trust your life to – considering the country is entrusting its existence to him and to men and women like him and has been for more than 200 years now. But apparently “most sane Americans” doesn’t’ include a vengeful and bitter Nancy Pelosi or her staff.

The Democratic Party has made no secret of the fact that it distrusts the military, look at the insulting “vetting” process for the National Guard that took place before the swearing-in of president 46* on Jan. 20.  But it is surprising that this kind of distrust would be placed on such a personal level.  Representative Tenny was first elected in 2016, then lost to Democrat Anthony Brindisi in the 2018 midterms, but has regained her seat. That means she’s at least somewhat of a known quantity. And if her son were the kind of military officer liberals like to pretend are hiding under every bed ...“white supremacist,” dangerous to democracy, bent on overthrowing the government they’ve sworn to protect etc.... it’s a good chance Capitol security would know about it.

All of which makes this look like an exercise in typical Pelosi pettiness rather than any actual security measure. A Punitive response of a 5 year old on the part of Pelosi attempting to demonstrate power and control.

[Western Journal]

[Daily Caller]

[DSGT]

~ Thank You MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage! ~

The Hairdryer Rebellion of 2020

In what is proving to be a growing trend of protesters showing up on the doorstep of politicians, as unwise as it may be, outraged women wearing curlers in their hair and draped in plastic as if they were at the beauty shop, as characterized by KRON, hung blow dryers in a tree outside San Fran Nan's home.

Describing themselves as “angry salon customers” who want to get their hair done, protesters gathered outside House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s mansion Thursday in response to what has been dubbed “Salon-gate.” San Francisco Chronicle reporter Jessica Christian shared several videos online of the demonstration, noting that the women are not salon owners, as some reported, but disgruntled consumers stymied by local politicians.

Demonstrating at the homes of politicians is becoming a staple on the left, but Pelosi should be grateful it wasn’t Antifa and Black Lives Matter activists gathering outside her mansion. Just ask Portland’s Democratic Mayor Ted Wheeler, who’s reportedly looking to move out of his Pearl District high rise condo after violent protesters broke windows and set fires on the property earlier this week.

Salon-gate easily outweighs the ridicule Pelosi experienced after showcasing a freezer full of expensive ice cream during the height of the coronavirus shutdown, while most Americans were worried about putting food on their dinner tables.

[San Fran Chronicle]
[Biz Pac] 

~ Thank You Larwyn's Linx@ Doug Ross Journal for the Linkage! ~

The Botox Queen's Secret Is Out......

There is a team of doctors dedicated 24/7 too keeping Nancy from falling apart. pic.twitter.com/XM5VKfuI3C

— Carpe Donktum🔹 (@CarpeDonktum) May 16, 2020

~ Thank You Larwyn's Linx@ Doug Ross Journal for the Linkage! ~

Watch: The Crazy Ol' Power Drunk Ice Cream Lady's Arrogance on Full Display

~ Thank You Larwyn's Linx@ Doug Ross Journal for the Linkage! ~

Nancy Pelosi's Attempt To Legalize Ballot Box Stuffing

Democrats, who have in the past taken stealing elections to heights never dreamed by the founders, have always clutched their pearls and insisted there is no such thing.  But just read the history of the democrat party and you will see they are, as usual, lying.(JFK-LBJ in particular)  Recently there's this slick little thing they came up with called "Ballot Harvesting".  Made legal in California in 2016, and first used in the 2018 midterm elections, democrat operatives dropped hundreds of thousands of ballots off at polling stations helping Democrats flip seven Republican congressional seats. Just a 'Milk Run' for when they ever regain control of congress. 

Harvesting allows people to canvas, with ballots in hand, Nursing Homes, Homeless shelters, Rehab facilities, Homes for Wayward Nymphomaniacs etc. and (in states with same day registration) register and help fill out ballots *wink wink*  and deliver them to polling stations.  There is no process for vetting or verifying those delivering the ballots, no background checks or identification requirements.

Now you understand why democrats are so against purging voter roles of long inactive voters?? It's Tank Abrams' wet dream. Easier voting for the our infirm, unconscious or deceased citizens. 

The sleazy Speaker of the House wants to make the process legal nationwide and override state laws by slipping it into her version of the the coronavirus stimulus package.

This from Breitbart:

Her bill, released Monday afternoon, provides that every state: A) shall permit a voter to designate any person to return a voted and sealed absentee ballot to the post office, a ballot drop-off location, tribally designated building, or election office so long as the person designated to return the ballot does not receive any form of compensation based on the number of ballots that the person has returned and no individual, group, or organization provides compensation on this basis; and (B) may not put any limit on how many voted and sealed absentee ballots any designated person can return to the post office, a ballot drop off location, tribally designated building, or election office. 

In other words, party operatives can literally truck thousands and thousands of ballots to the polls, provided they earn a salary or fee, and not paid by the ballot. 

It is a practice that is known in Third World countries as “ballot stuffing,” and is outlawed in every democracy, no matter how poor — even in countries where the physical and administrative obstacles to voting are far greater than in the world’s most developed economy.

And it is just one of many of the dem's ridiculous conditions in negotiations with the Senate that have nothing to do with saving the U.S. economy from coronavirus.

~ Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS for the Linkage! ~

A Bitter Nancy's Bad Week Continues.......

The Impeachment Signing Photo You Weren't Supposed to See

Democrat committee members convene in private as the Speaker of the House loads a bowl for the group's partaking of celebratory bong hits before officially signing off on the Articles of Impeachment and delivery to the Senate Chamber. The most amazing feature of this historic photo is that it shows Nancy Pelosi actually cast a reflection in the mirror. 

~ Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS for the Linkage! ~

CNN Goes Full Baghdad Bob On Impeachment

RS - CNN is really hitting its stride this morning. Jake Tapper opened the hearing by asserting that his audience was about to hear the GOP lie over and over. Because real journalism is pre-judging something and then proclaiming that everything one side of the aisle says is a lie before they even say it.

The other thing CNN is doing is playing up the idea that today is a heart wrenching, solemn occasion for Democrats, who’d otherwise prefer to be supporting the President and not impeaching him. This is what living in a bubble looks like. No one outside of the beltway, except the crazies in the street that will protest a cloud passing over head, are really even paying attention right now, much less viewing this as a “momentous” occasion.

"You can feel it in the air here. It feels different," @DanaBashCNN says. "It is palpable – that this is momentous. That this is grave. And it is... not something this speaker wanted to do..."

— Brian Stelter (@brianstelter) December 18, 2019

Democrats are not solemn about this and not even liberals actually believe that. This impeachment is not grave, nor can it be felt in the air. Most of all though, it’s laughable to suggest that Nancy Pelosi is actually against the attempted removal of Trump. She’s been hoping for this day since he took office, as many of her members have publicly stated. The only reason she might wish this wasn’t happening is because of the bad political consequences her party will now suffer.

Note: @SpeakerPelosi is wearing black. One of her colleagues told me several of the female Democrats did that intentionally to signal it is a somber day #impeachment

— Dana Bash (@DanaBashCNN) December 18, 2019

And just to drive the point home of how not solemn Democrats actually are, they had to be instructed not to clap and cheer after the passage of the articles later today. Because when you are truly solemn, you need to wear certain color dresses and purposely hold in your emotions so as to appear solemn or something. Makes sense.

Pretend we're being serious! is maybe the funniest thing yet about today https://t.co/7MWdhet4Dc

— Phil Kerpen (@kerpen) December 18, 2019

CNN may be doing it’s best to mimic Baghdad Bob, proclaiming something that’s clearly not true as defeat nears, but everyone knows this is a joke. No amount of frowny faces and well acted TV hits will change that.

~ Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS for the Linkage! ~

The Democrat Donors’ Sex-Creep Club

By Michelle Malkin

Well, well, well. “Follow the facts,” Democratic strategist Christine Pelosi now advises fellow liberals in the wake of billionaire and high-flying political financier Jeffrey Epstein’s child sex trafficking indictment this week.  Some of “our faves” could be implicated in the long-festering scandal, the Pelosi daughter warned, so it’s time to “let the chips fall where they may.” Too bad Ms. Pelosi’s mommy hasn’t adopted that same attitude of accountability.

While serving as the highest-ranking elected woman in America for decades, San Fran Nan has chronically downplayed, whitewashed or excused the sleazy habits and alleged sexual improprieties of a long parade of Dem pervs — from former San Diego Mayor Bob Filner to former New York Reps. Eric Massa and Anthony Wiener to former Oregon Rep. David Wu to former Michigan Rep. John Conyers and current presidential candidate Joe Biden.

Since the woke-ty woke Democrats are now gung-ho on undoing special treatment of wealthy liberal sex creeps, perhaps they will soon be revisiting the matter of two of their other “faves,” Oregon real estate mogul and deep-pocketed left-wing White House donor Terry Bean and West Hollywood Clinton pal Ed Buck.

Here, let me help.

Terry Bean is the prominent gay rights activist who co-founded the influential Human Rights Campaign organization. He is also a veteran member of the board of the HRC Foundation, which disseminates Common Core-aligned “anti-bullying” material to children’s schools nationwide. Like Epstein, Bean also had a thing for young minors. In 2014, a grand jury charged him with horrifying sexual abuse allegations involving multiple victims — including a 15-year-old boy. After a sweeping investigation led by the Portland police department’s sex crime units and two county district attorney’s offices, authorities charged Bean with two felony counts of third-degree sodomy and one misdemeanor count of third-degree sex abuse. His 20-something boyfriend, Kiah Lawson, was indicted on third-degree sodomy and third-degree sexual abuse.

Then there’s Ed Buck, another Democratic gay rights leader and moneyman whose West Hollywood den was the scene of not one, but two overdose deaths of black men he allegedly paid for sex and drugs. An independent journalist/blogger, Jasmyne Cannick, who has investigated Buck’s sordid activities for several years, warned authorities that the influential campaign contributor was a “predator” who lured vulnerable minority men into his filthy orbit.

Buck has donated more than a half-million dollars to top California Democrats including current Gov. Gavin Newsom, former Gov. Jerry Brown, LA Mayor Eric Garcetti, and LA District Attorney Jackie Lacey.

That’s a lot of chips falling in the coffers of the party that claims to care most about sex assault and human trafficking victims. Will Pelosi “follow the facts,” like her daughter recommends, or continue to cover up?

READ MORE

~ Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS for the Linkage! ~

Meow-Hiss! Speaker Nan Throws Shade at AOC & 'The Squad'.

Watching the many rifts within the Democratic Party grow is one of the few things about politics that actually bring some small joy these days. In one case, Nancy Pelosi has understandably grown tired of the immature and embarrassing antics of Ilhan Omar, Rashida Tlaib, Ayanna Presley, and of course, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Pelosi called ‘The Squad’ out for being all talk and no walk, spending far more time ‘tweeting’ than actually getting anything done. It would appear the House Speaker is especially unimpressed with their behavior in social media.

She tried to be chummy with the upstart freshmen for a Rolling Stone cover shoot, but the new kids on the block have gone to great lengths, like introducing impassible legislation, etc, to make things difficult for her. Pelosi DARED criticize the flailing foursome dropping the mic and an anvil in a Mo Dowd NYT interview:

"Pelosi says ⁦⁦@AOC⁩, ⁦@IlhanMN⁩, ⁦@AyannaPressley⁩ and ⁦⁦@RashidaTlaib “have their public whatever and their Twitter world. But they didn’t have any following. They’re four people and that’s how many votes they got."- @Josh Jamison

SHOTS FIRED!

AOC was front and center in defense of herself and radical allies with a little clapback of her own....and it’s just painful.

Twitter is public sentiment? No, it’s more like sewer of noise on top of noise,  but whatever helps her sleep better at night.....

She might want to consider doing a little dialin' for dollars or investing in some ads because if her own district polling is any indication, she could very well get her ass un-elected come 2020.

Guess Pelosi didn’t have time to fake up a bunch of photos in front of an empty, fenced parking lot or go down to the border and claim a bunch of horrible things about CBP officers. I don't think it's a good idea to trust a woman women who spew antisemitism, cry at an empty parking lot, who said women were being forced to drink out of toilets, and who voted AGAINST funding Humanitarian Aid to help these people at the border.

Pelosi is going to crush these crazy broads like grapes.

(Twitchy)
(Weasel Zippers)

~Thank You MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage! ~

Nan May Have Just Re-Elected The Trumpster

By Roger Simon @ PJMedia

It would have happened sooner or later, but Nancy Pelosi's out-of-control behavior—accusing Trump of a cover-up before meeting with him (sheesh), demanding his family stage an intervention (double sheesh), etc.—clearly forced the president finally to issue a memo giving Attorney General Barr authority to declassify the 2016 campaign surveillance documents. (He undoubtedly had it in his hip pocket for a while.) 

The memo requires all agencies to "promptly provide such assistance and information as the Attorney General may request in connection with that review." That includes the secretaries of State, Treasury, Defense, and Energy as well as, importantly, the director of national intelligence and the director of the CIA. Result: game changer. 

The re-election of Donald Trump will be dated from the evening of May 23, 2019. And the supposedly politically-savvy Ms. Pelosi will be marked down as the instigator. You almost feel sorry for her. The speaker was unable to face down the simple-minded, juvenile leftists in her own caucus and ended up being their lackey, actually even becoming one of them herself. What a sad and pathetic way to finish your career. 

So we will be saying good-bye to the obstruction meme. How do you obstruct an investigation that not only came up empty (i. e. no collusion) but is certain to be revealed as a treasonous set-up from the start? 

The next few months will be historic. The Democrat beehive will be going even crazier. That "distinguished legislator" Richard "The Lion-Hearted" Blumenthal was almost instantly on CNN Thursday night complaining that Trump was unfairly releasing documents (or something) to a semi-baffled and justifiably-fearful Anderson Cooper. (Perhaps Richard was there to head off accusations that the other Blumenthal—Sidney—was one of the authors of Steele dossier.) 

Popcorn time for conservatives has come. But it's good to remember the old saw: It's never as good or as bad as you think it is.

~ Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS for the Linkage! ~ 

An Honor Worthy of Nancy Pelosi. President of the Failed Republic Of The Rio Grande

The Empress Of Botox - President of the Rio Grande

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was appointed the honorary 'President of the Rio Grande' by the mayor of Laredo Texas, Pete Saenz, during a ceremony in Laredo on Friday. The Mayor explained to the crowd that before joining the United States, Laredo was the Capitol of the Republic of the Rio Grande.

“While the Republic was short-lived, ten months in all, we still have that spirit of freedom.  So, it’s my honor, Madam Speaker, to present to you the keys of our city but also to be the honorary president of the Republic of the Rio Grande.”

Saenz then presented Pelosi with a key to the city and a framed proclamation. “Hey, we have a woman president,” Pelosi said and called the honor “unfathomable,” adding that she would display the proclamation in the Speaker’s office with “great pride.”

Now I find it a bit ironic, as I'm sure my many Texan friends will too, that Pelosi is given such an honor seeing the The Republic of The Rio Grande was an attempt at independence from Mexico that was brutally put down by a controlling authoritarian government, you know, the kind that Pelosi and her minions represent, or that Pelosi was honored for anything at all inside the borders of the Great State of Texas. But, here we are. 

Congrats Nan. The little girl from Baltimore finally done good.....

DJT Delays State of the Union Address Until Shutdown Ends

Speaker Pelosi and Her Puppet Chuck On Capital Hill 

According to the Associated Press, the president said late Wednesday night he is postponing his State of the Union address until the government shutdown ends, following a high-stakes game of dare and double-dar.  DJT conceded that "no venue can compete with the history, tradition and importance of the House Chamber" and that he was not looking for an alternate option after Pelosi served notice earlier Wednesday that he won't be allowed to deliver the address to a joint session of Congress next week. Pelosi had taken the step after Trump said he planned to show up in spite of Democratic objections to the speech taking place with large swaths of the government shut down.

The president cannot speak in front of a joint session of Congress without both chambers' explicit permission. A resolution needs to be approved by both chambers specifying the date and time for receiving an address from the president. The Constitution states only that the president "shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union," meaning the president can speak anywhere he chooses or give his update in writing.

The address has been delayed before. Ronald Reagan's 1986 State of the Union address was postponed after the Challenger space shuttle disaster on Jan. 28 of that year. But there is no precedent for a State of the Union invitation being rescinded. Harry Truman, Dwight Eisenhower and Jimmy Carter all issued their final messages in print.

_________________________________

And now we return you to the important news of the day:

Dear Nan. You're Grounded.

Nancy Ducks Head and Runs Headlong Towards Wall

A great tip for those who wish to analyze the political world is to turn off the volume when political figures speak and just watch......watch Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer on Thursday as they reacted to President Trump’s announcement that he would not sign a funding bill to keep the government open during the next few weeks unless $5 billion for a Border Wall was provided. Pelosi was discombobulated more than usual, Schumer was on the verge of tears, again. There was no attitude by either of these clowns of “great, now we can beat Trump because he has made a grave mistake and we are going to win”. The reactions were more like “who pulled the rug out from under us????? and how do we get our balance so we don’t come crashing down???”

Then came the vote at the House of Representatives which gave the President a victory, contra Nancy Pelosi’s dire forecasts about the impossibility of such a task getting accomplished. All the bravado came from the White House with DJT and all the signs of defeat came from the Democrats.  Why was the President smiling? It's doubtful that the Senate will pass the House bill. It is likely there will be a partial shutdown of the government in time for Christmas. So why is this good news for President Trump??? Look to history for the answer and recall Bill Clinton versus Newt Gingrich. That showdown was the beginning of the end for Gingrich. Trump is planning the same for Nancy Pelosi.

Pelosi will not be able to compromise with DJT because the lunatic left won’t allow her. If Pelosi compromises to end the shutdown then she will not become Speaker of the House. The entire nation will see that Pelosi won’t compromise because all she offers is “resistance”. In other words, the moment the Democrats take power in the House, total war will be the order of the day. DJT will appeal to the nation to protect the borders. Pelosi will argue against national security.

~Thank You MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage!~

The New Punks. Chuck & Nancy

If you watched the footage from the meeting with DJT, their body language speaks volumes. No amount of blathering from either of them could disguise the fact that they were both rhetorically pantsed by the president on national television. And the cherry on top was Pelosi spewing loudly about how she and the Democrat House are going to be totally transparent, unlike the Republicans, and then within a nano-second she insisted that the TV cameras be turned off and removed from the room. Brilliant. - J.J.Sefton

Look Chuck. Look!

Pelosi & Schumer's Secret Plan To Regain Control of Congress

 Chuck and Nancy Walk into a Bar.....

Nancy Pelosi called Chuck Schumer and said, "Chuck, I have a great plan to help us win the midterms and regain control of Congress." 

“Great Nan, but how?” asked Chuck.. 

“We’ll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like those.... deplorable Middle Class people wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador retriever....everybody loves labs ya know. Then, we’ll go visit some nice old country bars somewhere in fly-over country......like Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for all the little people living there.” 

So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman, Montana. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar. The Bartender took a step back and said, “Hey! Aren’t you Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi?” 

“Why Yes We Are!” said Nancy, “And what a lovely town you have here. We were just passing through and Chuck suggested we stop and take in the local flavor.” 

They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a bullshit storm with anyone who would listen. 

After a little while, a grizzled old rancher came in, walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar. For the next hour or so, another dozen ranchers came in, lifted the dog’s tail, and left shaking their heads.

Finally, Nancy asked, “Why did all those old ranchers come in and look under the dog’s tail? Is it some sort of custom among the little people?” 

“Oh Lord no,” said the bartender. “Someone’s out there running around town, claiming there’s a Labrador Retriever in here with two assholes!”

H/T - Marshmallow Jones