Showing posts with label Chucky Schumer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chucky Schumer. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Schumer Blames Buzzy's Expiration Date and Cal's Pecker for Him Not Rising to Majority Leader

Having become the United States Senate's most famous Drama Queen and leader of the Caucus of Snakes and Rats, Chuck Schumer channeled his inner-most Hillary Clinton by lashing out at about his dashed hopes of ascension to the HMFIC of the Senate.  He blamed both failed Senate candidate Cal Cunningham and the late Buzzy Ginsburg for the Democratic Party’s inability to secure a Senate majority.

During a recent call with donors, Schumer, in his usual Shakespeare of Doom style lamented that Cunningham’s extramarital affair cost Schumer because he “couldn’t keep his zipper up” and got entangled in an adulterous sexting scandal. He also threw down the idea Buzzy checking out untimely spoiled his plans to become the democrat carnival barker.  He pinpointed Ginsburg’s death as a reason that Susan Collins (R-ME) was able reframe the debate about replacing Supreme Court justices and hold onto a seat Democrats had hoped to flip.

Now, only a rigged election in Georgia can save Schumer from years more of daily tilting at windmills, and nightly pillow biting. We can only hope for his slow continuing torture. 

~ Thank You MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage! ~

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

The New Punks. Chuck & Nancy

If you watched the footage from the meeting with DJT, their body language speaks volumes. No amount of blathering from either of them could disguise the fact that they were both rhetorically pantsed by the president on national television. And the cherry on top was Pelosi spewing loudly about how she and the Democrat House are going to be totally transparent, unlike the Republicans, and then within a nano-second she insisted that the TV cameras be turned off and removed from the room. Brilliant. - J.J.Sefton

Look Chuck. Look!

Thursday, June 21, 2018

Pelosi & Schumer's Secret Plan To Regain Control of Congress

 Chuck and Nancy Walk into a Bar.....
Nancy Pelosi called Chuck Schumer and said, "Chuck, I have a great plan to help us win the midterms and regain control of Congress." 
“Great Nan, but how?” asked Chuck.. 
“We’ll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like those.... deplorable Middle Class people wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador retriever....everybody loves labs ya know. Then, we’ll go visit some nice old country bars somewhere in fly-over Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for all the little people living there.” 
So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman, Montana. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar. The Bartender took a step back and said, “Hey! Aren’t you Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi?” 
“Why Yes We Are!” said Nancy, “And what a lovely town you have here. We were just passing through and Chuck suggested we stop and take in the local flavor.” 
They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a bullshit storm with anyone who would listen. 
After a little while, a grizzled old rancher came in, walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar. For the next hour or so, another dozen ranchers came in, lifted the dog’s tail, and left shaking their heads.
Finally, Nancy asked, “Why did all those old ranchers come in and look under the dog’s tail? Is it some sort of custom among the little people?” 
“Oh Lord no,” said the bartender. “Someone’s out there running around town, claiming there’s a Labrador Retriever in here with two assholes!”
H/T - Marshmallow Jones