Thursday, June 21, 2018

Pelosi & Schumer's Secret Plan To Regain Control of Congress

 Chuck and Nancy Walk into a Bar.....
Nancy Pelosi called Chuck Schumer and said, "Chuck, I have a great plan to help us win the midterms and regain control of Congress." 
“Great Nan, but how?” asked Chuck.. 
“We’ll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like those.... deplorable Middle Class people wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador retriever....everybody loves labs ya know. Then, we’ll go visit some nice old country bars somewhere in fly-over Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for all the little people living there.” 
So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman, Montana. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar. The Bartender took a step back and said, “Hey! Aren’t you Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi?” 
“Why Yes We Are!” said Nancy, “And what a lovely town you have here. We were just passing through and Chuck suggested we stop and take in the local flavor.” 
They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a bullshit storm with anyone who would listen. 
After a little while, a grizzled old rancher came in, walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar. For the next hour or so, another dozen ranchers came in, lifted the dog’s tail, and left shaking their heads.
Finally, Nancy asked, “Why did all those old ranchers come in and look under the dog’s tail? Is it some sort of custom among the little people?” 
“Oh Lord no,” said the bartender. “Someone’s out there running around town, claiming there’s a Labrador Retriever in here with two assholes!”
H/T - Marshmallow Jones 

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