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Al Sharpton Threatens to Dry Up and Blow Away

by Emily Zanotti

In case you've forgotten that people besides Hillary Clinton exist in this world, we're still patiently waiting on Congress to either confirm or rebuff the Obama Administration's nominee to replace Eric Holder as head of the Department of Justice. Loretta Lynch, as expected, does not share the ideological viewpoint of many Republicans that the DOJ should concern itself with enforcing the nation's rules and protecting the nation's citizenry, and less with organizing media events that prolong Al Sharpton's cultural relevance.

Of course, not one to be left out of a situation that could rightly benefit him, and left without a job since families have started requesting that he not use their childrens' deaths as campaign platforms, Al Sharpton surfaced today to protest the Lynch nomination process, allege that lawmakers who are stalling her confirmation are abject racists, and announce that he will undertake a hunger strike, in the vein of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and other civil rights leaders, until Loretta Lynch's DOJ office nameplate is printed and hung.

Only, it's just kind of a hunger strike.

Okay, it's not a hunger strike at all. But he means it, America. 

"The advocacy group founded by the Rev. Al Sharpton, along with female civil-rights leaders, are staging the hunger strike, in which groups of fasters will alternate days abstaining from food until Lynch is confirmed to replace Eric Holder at the Justice Department. Dubbed “Confirm Loretta Lynch Fast,” the new tactic is designed in the mold of actions by civil rights leaders such as Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi and Cesar Chavez, organizers said."

That's not, at least as far as I know, how hunger strikes actually work. 

I fail to see the profitability in having a hunger strike to begin with here. Although there are many leaders throughout history who have rallied the masses to their sides by refusing sustenance, including but not limited to Homer Simpson, I doubt many people are aware enough of the subject of Senate confirmations to find this interesting on any level. And while Republicans might take slightly greater notice of a hunger strike than they would of, say, the other prongs of the coalition strategy (like a social media campaign), I'm not sure Republicans will be moved by the sight of bussed-in protesters sipping soy lattes on their "day off."

(The Spectacle)

Lights, Camera, Action......

Hillary in an Iowa coffee shop with sunglasses, $700 haircut, an entourage ordering for her-- all to prove she's just like a typical Iowan.
— WH PRESS SECRETARY (@weknowwhatsbest) April 14, 2015

Tough Reviews For Hillary's Campaign Roll Out From Friends on the Left

The roll out of Hillary Clinton’s campaign is being blasted from all sides.  The New Yorker’s Amy Davidson wrote, “in some ways there was more substance in this week’s ‘Saturday Night Live’” skit than Clinton’s video, while The Washington Post’s Alexandra Petri said the video looked like “some sort of detergent commercial, intended to air during the Olympics.”  

Writing also in The Washington Post, columnist Ruth Marcus called Clinton’s video “relentlessly, insultingly vapid” and opined that it was like “a Verizon commercial without the substance.”

Politico’s Roger Simon points out that Clinton trying to reinvent herself is nothing new, “she has invented herself almost as many times as Edison tried to invent the light bulb.”

The Daily Beast’s beast herself, Eleanor Clift, said it looks like “Queen Hillary is coming onto the stage, that she deserves it, thinks she deserves it.”

Even Clinton’s supporters are complaining about the campaign roll out.  Clinton’s campaign “is frustrating some supporters with its lack of concrete plans.” “I can’t believe I missed ‘Game of Thrones’ for this”—referring to team Clinton’s strategy call Sunday night.

 Talking Points Memo notes that “missing from Hillary Clinton’s newly-minted presidential campaign website is a section discussing the policies she’ll seek to implement.”

As if that weren’t enough, one of the Iowa voters in Clinton’s video said he wants to see other Democrats in the race:

Attention: Be On The Lookout......

A Good Monday Morning

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