A Good Monday Morning

Journalist Calls For An “Overthrow” of the American System

Progs Today - 

It has become all too apparent that the battle for America’s soul is being waged by basically two types of people. Those who wish to return the nation to its former glory as a beacon of liberty for the American people and the world; and those who wish to see the Constitution and all it stands for burn in the fires of collective tyranny.

An example of the latter was recently demonstrated during a New York fundraiser for Seattle Socialist Councilwoman ( and fromer organizer in the local Occupy movement) Kshama Sawant.  FDL reports that during a speech given at the event Progressive author and journalist Chris Hedges called for the overthrow of the American system.

“The only response, if we are going to recover a country that does not slip into a corporate, oligarchy tyranny…is if we overthrow the system,” Hedges said. “Let me repeat that word in case anyone from Homeland Security is here and that’s overthrow.”

This isn't the first time Chris Hedges has openly called for a revolution. During an interview in 2013 Mr. Hedges stated that, “I’m calling for the overthrow of this system”.

A quick like at the Nation Institutes's stable of writers makes me believe he is  probably not alone in this type thinking. 

You Too Can Hide Your Embarrassing Whiteness....

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

The Draft Linden Borden Campaign

Businessman Linden Phuken Borden III

In late 2011, at the begining of the presidential campaign primary season, we at DMF saw no candidate with an ability or worthiness to defeat Barack Obama. Then came out of the blue a man of the people, one who we believed had what it took to pull America back from the brink. That man was  Linden Phuken Borden.  

Unfortunately, today we see the same thing we saw then in the 2011 GOP candidates: career entrenched politicians, wealth business tycoons and inexperienced junior senators all lining up for a shot at being famous. This is not what America needs.
We need a leader, a sensible leader for a 'New Century of American Greatness'. 

Below is our editorial from November 2011. We stand firmly behind it's ever word today as we did then. We hope you will join us to help push forward and start the ball rolling for a Draft Linden Borden for President Campaign 2016. 

* Editors Note:  In a December 12, 2011 story in the press of Mitt Romney's refusal to debate Mr. Borden one-on-one, also mentions the following day's discovery of the cutting down of ever single tree on the Romney Family Estate in Massachusetts and hauled away during the night, attributed by some as the mischievous handy work of Mr. Borden and his symbolic Viking Hatchet. Our in-depth investigation of the matter showed no conclusive proof of any involvement of Mr. Borden with the missing trees.  It remains a mystery.

___________________________

Editorial

From the Board of Diogenes' Middle Finger

Linden Borden is a Harry Truman type character. Only five foot two inches in stature, but of strong Viking stock, the Presidential Candidate is a self-sufficient small businessman; a boat builder by trade from the wilds of Minnesota. His business savvy and understanding of the needs of small business is sorely missing from the present field of GOP candidates. Sure, there are Tax Lawyers, moneyed Ex-Governors, wealthy Ex-Congressmen and even a Space Cadet vying for the nomination. But we feel Mr. Borden is heads above the rest of the field.

His strong suit is his understanding of simple economics: You can't spend more than you take in. Borden knows how to wield a mean ax, and plans to lay waste to the bloated federal budget and stop the idiotic wasteful spending. The present field of candidates see billions as chump change, Linden Borden sees that as the problem. 

We feel Mr. Borden is scary enough to get congress in-line and threating enough to keep our enemies at bay. We know he will not have any empty sexual harassment allegations leveled at him as some candidates have because as far as we know, no women has gone near him in years.

The almost unbelievable ground swell of support we witnessed on College Campuses as well as in Bingo Parlors and Burger Doodles all over New Hampshire last week make us believe the third tier candidate is poised to explode in a major breakout and run to the front, leading the pack into the early primary contests. All across the state, from the prestigious environmentally conscious, cutting edge 'Cannabis Technological Institute' to the 'New Hampshire School for the Blind and Infirm', to the historic 'New England Academy for Wayward Nymphomaniacs', we witnessed rallies and grassroots support we haven't seen since the Dukakis campaign.

We at Diogenes Middle Finger think it's Linden Borden's time to shine, and wholeheartedly endorse his campaign for President.

He has surrounded himself with some impressive advisers, the likes of the eccentric but knowledgeable Professor Ichabod Butouski of the Minnesota State Junior College Ethnic Physics Department, Will Profit, Chief Editor and CEO of Capitalist Preservation and Texas State Chairman for CTFBA (Cut the F**king Budget Already Campaign), Snags Fitch, Grand Lizard of the St. Paul Masonic Elks Optimist Club and Sequela Butts, contemporary poet and rummage expert. His intended Cabinet nominees we find also impressive. Announced as his potential Commerce Secretary is English born Marvin Ashcott Hayes, the somewhat eccentric Minnesota Tampon Magnate, and for Transportation Secretary, Link Pilsner, former outlaw biker and expert on the nation's back roads and highway systems.  

On Foreign Policy, we here at Diogenes Middle Finger unfortunately do not agree with Candidate Borden's insistence on nuking Guatemala in retaliation for his 1981 conviction (later overturned) for importing Toupees made from hair of endangered species, but do feel his views will be tempered by his choice for Secretary of State, Klash Bazbo, who should be over the ugly head wound suffered in a Viking Raid reenactment on a Wisconsin girl's school, and out of physical therapy in time to be confirmed.

The only possible problem we see with presently announced Cabinet choices in Congressional Conformation Hearings could be the pick for Attorney General, Vincent “The Knee" Peolotso. Mr. Peolotso is a businessman and expert on Law and the Federal Correction System, having been through it many times. 

 The Editorial Board of Diogenes Middle Finger believe it's time to cut the crap and get the country back on track. We also believe this is the first and most important endorsement of The Linden Borden for President Campaign, with many to follow in our steps. 

_____________________________

From This Day Forward...

Bulletin: Middle Finger News Service

Founder & CEO - DMF/ MFNS

MFNS Newsroom - In this day and age when white women can identify as an Indian Native American or even pretend to be black despite their obvious apperance, or a time when men can put on a dress and a little makeup and is said to be courageous for saying he is really a woman, I now do hereby declare that from this day forward, I, Diogenes Sarcastica, shall identify as a Black Female Homosexual.

This will side-step any chance of future self inflicted damage to my esteem due the actions perpetrated by my far distant ancestors on others different from themselves, and also relieves me from apologies or any perceived guilt on my part or others for the color of my skin. And this declaration I make today will also defend against some in society who may make snide remarks about ones normal healthy sexual practices or disdain for ones miraculous ability to procreate without the use of a Turkey Baster.

Now, can anyone recommend any good hair products for a Nubian Princess.......   

A Great Analogy of How He Will Stand In History Among His Predecessors....

His Opinion Isn't Valid Because He's White and Rich

One of MSNBC's in-house progtards, the lovely Alex Wagner, along with her three liberal guests, ripped Jerry Seinfeld on her MSNBC program for his blast at "creepy" political correctness. Wagner hinted that Seinfeld had "fallen behind the times."  

That was the que that it was off to the races (pun intended):

New York magazine's Annie Lowrey mocked his critique: "I kind of roll my eyes at Jerry Seinfeld. You know, he's a billionaire – like I don't feel sorry for him if people don't laugh hard enough at his jokes.. So, you know, I really think that – that PC culture owes a lot to social media, where, all of a sudden, people – in this case, college kids – can say – hey! You know, I was a young gay person – and I constantly had to hear jokes like this, and it's really not cool.  

Bloomberg Politics's Dave Weigel remarked: "no one wants to think they've stopped being cool or they stopped being relevant – or especially, that they – that they're now a bigot because they believe something they've always believed. There is no down side; there is no social pressure backlash for Jerry Seinfeld here. He still has all of his cars – the gigantic fleet of cars. "I think he's made $820 million in his career. So,the exile will be comfortable."  

MSNBC's Dorian Warren attacked the comedian:  "I think it's so cheap and easy to be able to insult people who are socially marginalized....you're afraid to be criticized, because you can't come up with funny jokes that don't insult people."  (News Busters)

But when it comes to political correctness, as in talking about race, only whites are the holy grail of fodder. Anyone who is unfortunate to land on a black television network comedy show will regularly hear routines about Crazy White people,  like this..... 

Obamas Impending Plans for Invasion

Let's see, two weeks in Hawaii for Christmas, a week of spring break vacation to Japan and Cambodia in March and this coming week the First Lady, Moms Robinson and the Obama Daughters will pack up and jet off to London and Milan for honors and some most excellent shoe shopping.  So it should be obvious to 'We The People' what time it is.  It's now time for planning and building anticipation, and to pony up a few more million or so from the Treasury for the next lavish taxpayer funded vacation, of course!

Michelle Obama on the Beach At Martha's Vineyard 2014

Word is, the residents of Martha's Vineyard are preparing for another possible nightmarish invasion of the first family vacationing again this year that some there liken to an "Outbreak of Herpes". Details are in the planning stages for an airlift of the First Family, Moms Robinson, presidential advisors and military servants, about 82% of the Secret Service and sympathetic journalist to the beleaguered island known as "Hollywood East" for a long 10 days or so for inhabitants of the area in early August.

According to the Washington Times:

"The White House began making reservations months ago to accommodate the president's large entourage of family, friends and Secret Service agents and officers, according to reports this week in the Martha's Vineyard Times and the Cape Cod Times.

The White House has yet to confirm the first family's vacation plans but last week, during a Air National Guard presentation, Col. James LeFavor said the president would be flying into Joint Base Cape Cod again this summer, according to the Cape Cod Times....."

In past years, full time residents on Martha's Vineyard have said they feel like they've been subjected to a real ‘whoop-ass’ by the time the President's retinue finally departs, from blocked roads and public areas to leaving the pristine island looking like the remnant of an OWS gang bang and ‘choom’ or a government sponsored Low Info Voter Rally. 

Sitting 5 miles off shore from idyllic Mashpee, Massachusetts, summer satellite office of world news icon 'Middle Finger News Service', the beach chairs and umbrellas of the adoring Cape Cod liberal elite will again be springing up early to claim vantage points to view Marine One flying in the first tribe to ‘The Vineyard’ under cover of fighter aircraft. And there will be a fleet of LSTs to move the convoy of armored Escalades and the President’s “Hope & Change’ Mobile, the one with the bullet and rocket proof glass roof and tinted windows so everyone can see that this president remains the most transparent and loved man of the people ever.

And let's hope the security on Martha's Vineyard is a bit more robust than in the past.

The Feel Good Lefties Would Be Proud....

Everyone to Get a Participation Trophy

The first Republican primary debate, scheduled for Aug. 6 in Cleveland and hosted by Fox News, is being turned into one of those “everyone gets a participation trophy” deals the feel good lefties so love, with extra forums now scheduled to give third tier candidates like Jim Gilmore or Rick Santorum and his one fan in Iowa (reportedly named Peggy) a thrill, and one horse Rick and the parade of no-chance-in-hell candidates a day in the sunshine.

Previously, Fox had announced that only the top 10 candidates in an average of the five biggest national polls that week will be allowed to participate. This has upset the other 204 candidates who are not likely to make the top 10 by early August.....

“What Fox is attempting to do, and is actually bragging about doing, is a real threat to the first-in-the-nation primary,” publisher Joseph W. McQuaid said, according to the newspaper. “Fox boasts that it will 'winnow' the field of candidates before New Hampshire gets to do so. That isn't just bad for New Hampshire, it's bad for the presidential selection process by limiting the field to only the best-known few with the biggest bankrolls.” 

Surely American democracy is on the path to oblivion if our nation is deprived of six extra months of Chris Christie attending rubber-chicken dinners at the Elks Lodge in Nashua. So Fox News announced Thursday it will also hold a forum in Cleveland on Aug. 6 for those candidates who don’t make the cut for the real debate. So now the really unpopular candidates like Lindsey Graham and Bobby Jindal have to decide if they will participate in the Fox forum or the Union Leader forum. Or, option three, they could all quit politics and go live fulfilling lives doing something productive.

And of course this all raises the question: Who the hell besides political reporters and comedy writers will care about anything these people have to say in the dead of summer six months before the primary? The question practically answers itself......

(Bloomberg)

Eco-Insanity: Climate Change Is Causing Child Marriage

Progs Today

The extraordinarily, catastrophic claims of those who worship at the altar of Climate Change become more and more drastic everyday. From causing hurricanes, to the melting of the polar ice caps, even to the extent where the President of the United States claims that Climate Change is a threat to National Security, it is almost as if each person screaming the latest Climate Change doomsday prediction is trying to outdo the last.

But just when you thought the insanity of the Climate Change church couldn’t become anymore outrages, suddenly, it does.

Heather Barr, The Senior Researcher for Human Rights Watch (a group funded by Progressive billionaire George Soros) claims that Climate Change is causing, of all things, child marriage:

"Sanjita had very little to say on the subject of how she felt about getting married. Maybe that’s because she’s 10 years old. She had married 18 days earlier, to a boy who is 14 or 15 years old—he works in a garment factory in Dhaka and as a rickshaw driver.

Bangladesh is one of the countries most affected by natural disasters, and it is also on the front line of climate change. Some families I interviewed were losing their homes and land to river erosion; others lose crops every year to flooding or had lost everything in a cyclone. These natural disasters encourage child marriage, especially for families watching their land erode, who rush to marry off their daughters before they are displaced.....”

Ms. Barr’s claim that Climate Change causes child marriage is crazy enough to rank right up there with the claim that Climate Change will make redheads become extinct, or the claim that Climate Change will make Italian pasta disappear off the face of the earth.  And while we can rest assured that man-made Climate Change isn’t actually causing a type of child abuse disguised as marriage, or even cause a tasty Mediterranean dish to vanish, we can be sure that as long as there are mindless followers of the Climate Change doctrine they will continue to demonstrate the definition of absolute….insanity.

Iranian News Media Out Alex Joneses Alex Jones

 Noted Wing-Nut Conspiracy Theorist Alex Jones 

Iranian media beats Jones to the scoop, refutes  John Kerry 

was hurt in a cycling accident.

The Iranian news media has erupted with rumors that Secretary of State John Kerry was not injured last week in a fall from his bicycle in Switzerland, but rather he was the target of an assassination attempt while meeting with Islamic State terrorists.

The Clownish Iranian media, known for reporting "conspiracy theories" in the past, such as a September report that Israel was spearheading a dangerous global plot to spread the Krav Maga martial arts worldwide and a December report that Israel was building settlements in Iraq.

Jerusalem Post

"The latest Iranian report, first published by the Nasim news agency and subsequently picked up by dozens of Iranian news sites, based its information on "an American news website" which cites a Russian foreign intelligence service report as the source of the information.  

According to the report in Nasim, Kerry secretly met with one of the leaders of Islamic State on Sunday. The meeting eventually led to an armed clash and an attempt to assassinate the US secretary of state.

Kerry's meeting, in which the alleged assassination attempt took place, was with Gulmurod Khalimov, a senior Tajik police commander, trained in the United States, who announced his defection to Islamic State in a video released last week, the report states.

Having received training from the US State Department previously, Khalimov was well aware of State Department security procedures and he used the knowledge to get another member of his entourage into the secret meeting with Kerry, with the intention of assassinating him, the report claims.

The report cited communications intercepted by Russian intelligence from France, the US and Switzerland as confirming that two other people were shot in the incident, one of them fatally.

The story of Kerry breaking his femur in a bicycle accident in Switzerland was then concoted to hide the real source of his "grave injuries," according to the report. "