Unscripted Moments Aboard Air Force One…

George Bush: Holy Alamo, Barack! What part of protect and defend the Constitution don’t you get?

Barack Obama: I see his lips moving but I don’t hear a thing this white boy is saying to me..uhhh..wonder if there’ll be a fundraiser for me when I get back.

Laura Bush: Why is President Obama’s babysitter on Air Force One?

Lady at the end of the table: You need to brighten up, Michelle! You look like someone dumped a box of tacks down your panty hose.

Valerie Jarrett: It’s good to be king….my preciousssss.

Talk Straight

* This is a telling photo in itself as to why our country is in such a mess. Seated at the table are the three most influential  people in Barack Obama's Life. 

It's Time to Beat the Left With Their Own Wet Noddle

Introduce the Nelson Mandela Voter Protection Act

For years, conservatives have warned of voter fraud and pushed for stricter voter identification laws. Democrats hate these efforts since cheaters, convicted felons and the deceased tend to support liberal candidates. Instead of admitting their Dig Up The Vote strategy, the Democratic Party offers a nuanced argument against voter ID advocates: “YOU'RE RACIST!!!” It’s time to turn the tables.

As you can see in the photo, the lionized founder of modern South Africa was a big fan of voter identification. Strict ID requirements are the law of the land, helping to minimize voter fraud from Cape Town to Pretoria. Mandela understood that this simple law ensures that every voter of every race can make their voice heard on election day:

"Mandela’s legacy of turning South Africa from a violently discriminatory country to a nation in which open and fair elections take place has earned him a place in world history. The South Africa he left behind has a constitution described by The Economist as “one of the most progressive in the world.” Signed into law by Mandela two years after his historic 1994 election, the document has been praised because it “enshrines a wide range of social and economic rights as well as the more usual civil and political freedoms.”

That constitution allows for and supports a rigorous election integrity process far more stringent than anything GOP lawmakers have proposed ......"

The Left can honor their hero Mandela by calling for U.S. voter ID requirements be brought up to South African standards.  Voter registration in South Africa involves registering to vote on one of a handful of designated days or by making an appointment in advance at a Municipal Elections Office. Online voter registration and voting are not allows. “You have to apply for registration and vote in person with valid ID,” reads the government’s elections website.
Two of the common forms of identification and most easily forged, passports and drivers licenses, do not suffice for election ID purposes.

Michelle just can’t take young Barack anywhere......

  

Obama Resigns: Vows To Fight Repression

Drawing on Inspiration from Nelson Mandela, Barack Obama condemns himself to life In prison and  vows to fight repression. It’s one way to dodge the scandals. And if he works it like Mandela, he’ll spend a few decades in jail and come out filthy rich. Not a bad scam.  

via The Earl of Taint

The Joe Biden Show Stops by South African Embassy

Biden and wife Jill took a short motorcade ride across the street from their residence to the embassy on a cold, drizzly Monday morning. Stopping out front to look at the newly installed statue of Mandela, Biden called him "the most remarkable man I met in my whole career."

Biden recalled traveling all the way to South Africa in 1977 to meet  Mandela , but he was unable to because he was in the midst of a 27-year prison sentence.  

A Good Monday Morning

Is Your Favorite Charity Paying For A CEO’s Mansion?

Susan G. Komen Foundation’s CEO Nancy Brinker - salary  $684,000

The $500,000 question of the day is …

How much do charities actually give toward their “cause”?

The CEO of the American Red Cross makes $500,000 a year and after collecting $564 million in the wake of 9/11, the American Red Cross had only distributed $154 million in the months after the event.

After three years of collecting $360 million for the 11 Asian countries devastated by the tsunami of Dec. 26, 2004, the Canadian Red Cross still had not spent $200 million of the donations they collected and there are similar allegations of the Red Cross withholding donations after many more disasters including the 1995 bombing in Oklahoma City and the 2010 earthquake in Haiti.

Several other popular charities have reported CEO salaries ranging from $600,000 to $1.2 million including the March of Dimes, United Way, Unicef, and the American Cancer Society.

Cancer charities are frequently cited as paying exorbitant CEO salaries. For example, the recently released tax records of the Susan G. Komen Foundation’s CEO revealed her yearly salary to be $684,000. Records also revealed that the Komen Foundation spent a mere 15 percent of the funds it received on breast cancer research in 2011.

In 2009, the American Cancer Society (ACS) spent $149 million on cancer research after raising over $455 million in Relay for Life events. They spent over $499 million on salary, employee benefits, payroll taxes and another $152 million on supplies, telephone bills, postage, shipping, meetings and travel expenses.

Even more distressing, ACS reportedly has close financial ties to the makers of mammography equipment and cancer drugs. They also receive financial support from the pesticide, petrochemical, biotech, cosmetics, and junk food industries – products which are primary contributors to cancer.

ACS’s board of trustees has even included an executive from the American Cyanamid Company, which made chemical fertilizers and heribicides before producing anti-cancer drugs. On the receiving end of cancer research money, researchers have been frequently caught fabricating positive findings with the end goal of producing more drugs.

To find out which charities are sharing the highest percentage of donations received, many donors turn to a charity rating service. Like the charities they rate, not all charity rating sites are created equally.

Charity Navigator, a popular charity rater, lists Red Cross as giving 90% of donations to programs. According to Charity Watch, while charities often claim that “90% of donations are spent on programs,” the programs can include many activities that “most donors would not consider to be the bona-fide programs they are intending to support.” Charity Watch’s articles bluntly assess the actions of charities and ferret out waste, but Charity Watch also gives the American Red Cross an A- rating. Another charity rater, Give Well , doesn’t print harsh reviews, but does highlight the charities it finds highly effective.

All three services have a list of their most effective charities, the tops of which are mostly occupied by groups doing work in the poorest countries, where dollars go the farthest. For those looking to help the Philippines, Action Against Hunger, American Refugee Committee, International Rescue Committee, Project Concern, and Save the Children are highly rated alternatives to the Red Cross with reports from aid workers on the ground.

LHJ Wookie Holiday Edition:

"Nothing is Beyond Our Reach" - The Obama administration's new creepy spy satellite logo

The logo in all its Orwellian glory:

Poor Richards News: "When I saw this image, I had to do a doubletake. Surely this can’t be real, right? Turns out, it’s completely legitimate. The ominous octopus consuming the earth with the slogan “Northing is Beyond Our Reach” emblazons the rocket just launched yesterday by the Office of National Intelligence and NASA."

and this from Forbes:

"Dragnet surveillance is a touchy subject these days what with the Snowden leaks and constant new revelations about cell phones being turned into location trackers, listening in on foreign leaders’ phone calls and the vacuuming up of any information sent digitally that’s not encrypted. Given that, I was a little surprised that ODNI was bragging about the launch on Twitter and putting the mission patch for the rocket on prominent display as it looks like it was drawn by a writer for The Simpsons with his tongue firmly in his cheek.

“NROL-39 is represented by the octopus, a versatile, adaptable, and highly intelligent creature. Emblematically, enemies of the United States can be reached no matter where they choose to hide,” says Karen Furgerson, a spokesperson for the National Reconnaissance Office (NRO). “‘Nothing is beyond our reach’ defines this mission and the value it brings to our nation and the warfighters it supports, who serve valiently all over the globe, protecting our nation.”

One would think that all the controversy surrounding the Edward Snowden NSA leaks would give somebody at the Obama administration pause before slapping this monster onto the side of our new spy satellite and live tweeting its launch. But nope. Like something out of a dystopian-future novel, the Obama administration is apparently bragging that no private communications anywhere in the world is beyond their reach. 

____________________________

Chris Matthews to Donate Leg to Obama Presidential Library

Washington - MSNBC political commentator Chris Matthews today announced he would proudly donate his famous "Tingling Leg" to the future Barack Obama Presidential Failure Library. 
 
"Every since I made that statement on-air about the tingle up my leg the night of the election, the conservative bloggers have been shellacking me with it night and day!. So I plan when Barack leaves office to amputate it and donate it to the Obama Library and make all those bastards look like fools" Matthews told Middle Finger News. 

Ask if he was absolutely serious about the statement he  told us,  "Look, we were indeed drinking heavily during commercial breaks in the election coverage, but on air I was sitting next to Rachel Maddow for Gods sake! And while she was wild eyed and had on a nice pair of fishnets and playing footsie under the table with Andrea Mitchell.... I know the tingle wasn't because of them! That was 100% adrenaline and admiration for Barack Obama because of the outcome of election night." 

There has at this time been no official statement from the White House, but Press Secretary Jay Carney  suggested the addition of the famous amputated leg, preserved in a glass case in the entrance to the future library would be an towering symbol of the love and support by members of the media for the 44th President in his heroic struggle to save America.

" Barack will get the leg when he leaves office.....I'll show those bastards!" said Matthews.

____________________________________________

And He Actually Said This With a Straight Face....

“I think Joe Biden will go down in history as one of the best vice presidents ever, and he has been with me, at my side, in every tough decision that I’ve made,” Obama told Chris Matthews in an interview Thursday held at American University. “Hillary, I think, will go down in history as one of the finest secretaries of state we’ve ever had, and helped to transition us away from a deep hole that we were in, when I first came into office, around the world, and rebuilt confidence and trust in the United States.” - Barack Obama

You know what they say...."Birds of a feather........"