Details of Gitmo Prisoner Exchange Agreement Leaked

(MFNS) Washington- Much speculation has risen as to the details of the Gitmo prisoners swap, why and for what reason would the administration release such dangerous men at this time.  State Dept. moles have leaked to Middle Finger News scant details of the agreement made with the Gitmo 5 in accordance with their release.

We have learned that the White House pressured the Labor Dept. for a promise of a 700 million dollar loan to the 5 detainees to help set them up in gainful employment in their home countries in turn for an agreement not to return in anyway to the battlefield.  Mullah Norullah Norrl, the only literate of the group penned his signature to the 17 page agreement and and gave his word to abide by that agreement. Other details remain secret.

When informed of the leak, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi told us she had severe reservations about the release of such dangerous Taliban Leaders, but that her major concern was her fear the 5 will unfairly gouge their customers with artificially high prices. 

Ethics Complaint Filed Against Harry Reid

The Hill

"Tea Party Patriots have filed a complaint against Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) with the Senate Ethics Committee to protest his repeated attacks against Charles and David Koch."

"Jenny Beth Martin, the co-founder of Tea Party Patriots, filed the complaint, charging Reid with “unlawfully and unethically targeting private citizens.” The complaint further states that Reid “has misused Senate staff or resources to engage in partisan campaign activity in violation of federal laws and Senate rules.”

“It’s been generations since a member of the Senate has abused the power of his office to attack private citizens the way Harry Reid has sought to vilify Charles and David Koch,” Martin said. "Reid’s tactics are “nothing more than a continuation of the thuggish intimidation campaign mounted by the Obama administration to target and silence people and organizations Democrats disagree with.”

"The Louisiana Republican Party asked the Senate ethics panel, officially known as the Select Committee on Ethics, in April to investigate Reid’s use of his official website and Twitter account to criticize the Koch brothers."  

High Strangeness at Obama Presser

At yesterday’s evening presser, Bowe Bergdahl’s father's first words to him praised Allah when he said “Bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Rahim” —which means “In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Compassionate.”

Bergdahl went on to say his son should listen to the “devoted team” that’s working with him in Germany. “Listen to their instructions. Listen to them. They are hand-picked people."

Just what kind of instructions is he being given? Me thinks there is a whole lot more about this family and the story behind this strange incident and release of Bowe Bergdahl yet to come.

Just Another Damn Obama Lie

"The U.S. has a long-standing policy of not negotiating with terrorists and I'm deeply troubled the Obama administration not only broke this policy, but also did so without the notification or consent of Congress, as required by law." 

"Six months ago, I was assured by the administration they would not consider the release of these senior Taliban leaders without consulting Congress. Today, they violated that commitment. The security assurances the United States has been given regarding these terrorists is feeble at best, and I fear it is only a matter of time before they resume their terrorist activities." - Sen. Saxby Chambliss 

How foolish can this administration be? These men are not honorable soldiers; they are dangerous terrorists and the President should be treating them as such. He sent them home heroes, and got a traitor in return.

A Good Monday Morning

Middle Finger News Service in Negotiations for Possible Reality Program Network

Press Release:

New Orleans, La. - The Middle Finger News Network today announced it's intentions of  pursuing new ventures to enhance it's massive corporate profits going forward in 2015 by possibly entering the Reality TV market.

The initiative came from a side project of MFNS's ace correspondent Earl of Taint, who has developed a series called "So You Want to Be an American?" set on the nations southern border. But while the series was not developed for MFNS and is  initially being offered to Univision TV network, we believe with acquisition of his series, we can build a successful all-reality network with our  present coverage of MFN by local access cable programing that already reaches tens of hundreds of people across the southern border. 

Promo Courtesy of Earl of Taint Productions

Other suggestions for reality programing possibilities are timely shows such as  "Survivor Jihad " set in the beautiful exotic wilds of Islamic Africa.

Talks have already begun with venture capitalist and producer, Emo Murdoch, for funding and the MFNS negotiating team from Chicago will lean on meet with Earl about bidding for his series early next week.

Flying Pig Alert

"the enemies of freedom – censorship and conformity"  -Michael Bloomberg

Former NYC mayor, The Little Dictator himself Michael Bloomberg must have made the Lefty Professor's sphincters eat holes in their chairs during a commencement address at Harvard University on Thursday, by unexpectedly implying they are a bunch priviledged  politically homogeneous repressionist: 

WSJ

"Think about the irony: In the 1950s, the right wing was attempting to repress left wing ideas. Today, on many college campuses, it is liberals trying to repress conservative ideas, even as conservative faculty members are at risk of becoming an endangered species. And perhaps nowhere is that more true than here in the Ivy League.

In the 2012 presidential race, 96% of all campaign contributions from Ivy League faculty and employees went to Barack Obama. Ninety-six percent – there was more disagreement among the old Soviet Politburo than there is among Ivy League donors. That statistic should give us pause.

When 96% of Ivy League donors prefer one candidate to another, you have to wonder whether students are being exposed to the diversity of views that a great university should offer.  A university cannot be great if its faculty is politically homogenous.

When tenure was created, it mostly protected liberals whose ideas ran up against conservative norms. Today, if tenure is going to continue to exist, it must also protect conservatives whose ideas run up against liberal norms.

Great universities must not become predictably partisan. And a liberal arts education must not be an education in the art of liberalism. The role of universities is not to promote an ideology. It is to provide scholars and students with a neutral forum for researching and debating issues—without tipping the scales in one direction, or repressing unpopular views.

Requiring scholars—and commencement speakers, for that matter—to conform to certain political standards undermines the whole purpose of a university. This spring, it has been disturbing to see a number of college commencement speakers withdraw—or have their invitations rescinded—after protests from students and—to me, shockingly—from senior faculty and administrators who should know better.

It happened at Brandeis, Haverford, Rutgers, and Smith. In each case, liberals silenced a voice—and denied an honorary degree—to individuals they deemed politically objectionable. That is an outrage and we must not let it continue. Censorship and conformity—the mortal enemies of freedom—win out...."

New Orleans’ Last 5 Government-Run Public Schools Close

Difficult as it is to believe, hardcore Big Labor supporters were actually okay with keeping kids trapped in failing schools as long as it kept the dues dollars rolling into union coffers.

Charter schools – independently operated public schools – have proven so popular with New Orleans parents that they’ve driven traditional, government-operated public schools out of business. During the just-completed school year, an estimated nine of 10 New Orleans students attended a charter. As a result, New Orleans’ last five government-run schools closed their doors for good this week. The city will be the first in the nation to have a school district comprised entirely of charter schools.

The Washington Post:

“An all-charter district signals the dismantling of the central school bureaucracy and a shift of power to dozens of independent school operators, who will assume all the corresponding functions: the authority to hire and fire teachers and administrators, maintain buildings, run buses and provide services to special-needs students.”

New Orleans officials turned to charter school operators to help recreate their broken school system in the aftermath of 2005’s Hurricane Katrina. Before the storm, the city’s public schools were widely viewed as the worst in the nation – not only because of poor academic results for students, but also because of widespread corruption and incompetence among school leaders.

The new school district was called the “Recovery School District,” and it was designed on the premise that parents should have the option of where their children attend school, instead of simply assigning them to the neighborhood public school.

“We’ve reinvented how schools run,” charter school advocate Neerav Kingsland told the Post. “If I am unhappy with service I’m getting in a school, I can pull my kid out and go to another school tomorrow. I don’t have to wait four years for an election cycle so I can vote for one member of a seven-member board that historically has been corrupt.”

It turns out “Recovery” was a good name for the new district. Graduation rates today are 23 percent higher than they were before Hurricane Katrina. And from 2007 to 2013, students’ grade-level competence in math and reading has increased 34 percent,

Despite the undeniable success, teacher unions and other public school apologists still have a laundry list of complaints against charters. They claim the alternative schools are “undemocratic” (because their leaders are appointed instead of elected), “unaccountable” to taxpayers, and cause hardship for parents who have to figure out how to shuttle their kids back and forth to school.

But the real reason the unionists hate charters is because educators in many of the alternative schools don’t belong to teacher unions, and the great thing about charter schools is that officials can shut them down if they’re not meeting academic expectations. That’s a quality control measure no government-run school district has ever faced.

I have plenty of reasons to criticize our Governor Booby Jindal, especially over the privatization of the charity hospital system set up by Huey Long in the 1930's, but in the case of public education reforms, he fought Washington and incompetent teachers and their union tooth and nail and helped make reforms such as New Orleans happen. 

*Big Central Government Utopian Liberals Heads Explode*

BREAKING NEWS: Rev. Al Sharpton to be Appointed Interim White House Press Secretary

(MFNS) Washington DC - Middle Finger News has learned  from deep cover operatives within the White House, that Rev. Al Sharpton will be appointed as temporarily replacement for the resiging Jay Carney as spokesman of the Ministry of Truth on Monday. 

Our sources told us the President believes the savvy Mr. Sharpton's experience with scandals, his grasp of domestic affairs, and powerful command of the English language will help continue getting out the truth to the media and serve the administration well in the upcoming troubled months of elections and investigations. 

Legend in His Own Mind

"On Wednesday, our commander-in-chief stood before some of America’s most selfless men and women. It was an opportunity to inspire these young West Pointers with a speech about national security — and their vital role in a dangerous world. Instead he opted for a campaign speech once again contrasting his own brilliance with a childish caricature of his critics."

"When John Kennedy addressed West Point’s Class of 1962, he told them the burden of defending freedom 'will require more from you than ever before in our history.' ...

How different from Barack Obama’s adolescent address Wednesday. Here the long gray line was reduced to a backdrop for a president shouting to the world: I’m not the weakling you think!" — New York Post Editorial