Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Bernie Sanders on Unresolved Hostility, Lack of Orgasms


By Emily Zanotti

Literally every day now, I like Bernie Sanders just a little bit better......
I'm obviously not a socialist, but Bernie is keeping Hillary on the run and he occasionally says things I agree with (gun ownership is an individual right, religions who don't want to marry same-sex couples should not be forced to, etc.). He's drawing huge crowds made up entirely of white people (photos of which get great play on Twitter), and he was so clearly off his rocker for most of the middle decades of last century, that it's all but guaranteed that this missive, from Bernie's 1960s health and welfare primer, is only the first in a long line of utterly amazing musings.

Bernie, back in the 60s and 70s, wrote for a left wing alternative rag in Vermont called "The Freeman," where he was free to air his thoughts on everything from nuclear war (we're all about to face death-by-poison gas) to, apparently cervical cancer, which he believed to be a psychologically driven disease, inspired by...ahem...stress.
"Mr. Sanders contributed only sporadically… [H]e cited studies claiming that cancer could be caused by psychological factors such as unresolved hostility toward one’s mother, a tendency to bury aggression beneath a “facade of pleasantness” and having too few orgasms. “Sexual adjustment seemed to be very poor in those with cancer of the cervix,” he wrote, quoting a study in a journal called Psychosomatic Medicine."
This kind of thinking was suuuuuuper popular in the 70s, and lots of now-elderly Baby Boomers at one time cycled through the idea that meeting in large groups and airing grievances over crudite and LSD could cure anything from migraines to male-pattern baldness. Bernie was clearly in that camp, though it remains to be seen whether he tried to implement any treatment plans pursuant to his medical understanding. As I prefer to keep my breakfast down, I'll assume Bernie only thought about, and never tried to cure anyone.

Lately, the right has been concerned with Donald Trump being considered as an actual contender for their Presidential nomination. But the problem with his candidacy may be that his gaffes overshadow what should be a goldmine of opportunity buried in Bernie's deep and rich history of being a lunatic. 

(Spectacle Blog)

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Kenyan Politician Tells Obama To Keep His Gay Rainbow Homo Stuff To Himself

 If Obama Brings 'Gay Agenda, We Will Tell Him to Shut Up and Go Home'


CNS
When he visits his father’s homeland in Africa later this month, President Obama is expected to run into vocal opposition over his administration’s high-profile promotion of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) issues.
Obama’s trip to Kenya, his first as president, is scheduled to take place four weeks after the White House was bathed in rainbow colors to mark the U.S. Supreme Court ruling declaring that same-sex marriage is a right.
At a small pro-family demonstration at the parliament in Nairobi Monday, organized by the Evangelical Alliance of Kenya, participants called on the American president not to raise the subject during his visit.
“It is important for us as Kenyans to know that the U.S. is not God,” local media quoted evangelical Bishop Mark Kariuki as saying, adding that Obama should not use the visit to “talk about the gay issue.”
Irungu Kangata, a lawmaker in President Uhuru Kenyatta’s The National Alliance (TNA) party, was blunter: “We are telling Mr. Obama when he comes to Kenya this month and he tries to bring the abortion agenda, the gay agenda, we shall tell him to shut up and go home.”
According to The Standard of Nairobi, Kangata said Kenyans would demonstrate against Obama over the issue during his visit.
Kenya’s The Daily Nation quoted several other lawmakers’ views on the matter.
 “Our son from the U.S., Barack Obama, when he comes here, should simply avoid that topic completely,” added Kamau, “because Kenyans will not be happy with him if he comes to bring the issue of homosexuality in this country.”
READ MORE

New Documents Show DOJ, IRS, and FBI Planned Criminal Charges of Obama Opponents

  Obama Administration Far Eclipses Nixon's
Impeachable Offenses 

(Washington, DC) – Judicial Watch today released new Department of Justice (DOJ) and Internal Revenue Service (IRS) documents that include an official “DOJ Recap” report detailing an October 2010 meeting between Lois Lerner, DOJ officials and the FBI to plan for the possible criminal prosecution of targeted nonprofit organizations for alleged illegal political activity.
“These new documents show that the Obama IRS scandal is also an Obama DOJ and FBI scandal,” said Judicial Watch President Tom Fitton. “The FBI and Justice Department worked with Lois Lerner and the IRS to concoct some reason to put President Obama’s opponents in jail before his reelection. And this abuse resulted in the FBI’s illegally obtaining confidential taxpayer information. How can the Justice Department and FBI investigate the very scandal in which they are implicated?”
The newly obtained records also reveal that the Obama DOJ wanted IRS employees who were going to testify to Congress to turn over documents to the DOJ before giving them to Congress. Records also detail how the Obama IRS gave the FBI 21 computer disks, containing 1.25 million pages of confidential IRS returns from 113,000 nonprofit social 501(c)(4) welfare groups  – or nearly every 501(c)(4) in the United States – as part of its prosecution effort. According to a letter from then-House Oversight Committee Chairman Darrell Issa (R-CA) to IRS Commissioner John Koskinen, “This revelation likely means that the IRS – including possibly Lois Lerner – violated federal tax law by transmitting this information to the Justice Department.”
The new IRS documents include a October 11, 2010 “DOJ Recap” memo sent by IRS Exempt Organizations Tax Law Specialist Siri Buller to Lerner and other top IRS officials explaining an October 8 meeting with representatives from the Department of Justice Criminal Division’s Public Integrity Section and “one representative from the FBI” to discuss the possible criminal prosecution of nonprofit organizations for alleged political activity:

Google Creates New Social Media Network for Terrorist

MIDDLE FINGER NEWS SERVICE WIRE:

Google's New Goats +
Google Inc., in it's never ceasing quest for advertising revenue today announced it's new social  network "Goats + " geared toward the terrorists organization, Al Quaeda and ISIS, hiding  in their mountain caves and dessert hideaways. Google spokesman Ben Sputt said "todays announcement marks the first chapter in Google's humanitarian phase, reaching out to a population that because of security reasons are no longer able to use the normal social networking platforms such as Twitter, Facebook or Google +  as way to stay in touch with friends and lovers in the goat community."

Al Quaeda freedom fighter, Ahmed Al Sahiit, thanked Google in an encoded dispatch to the Mountain View, California headquarters released to the media in a press briefing today saying:

" ......it's very cold and lonely up in the mountain caves, and sometime our trusted goats are our only warmth and Lovers. It is good to be able to stay in touch, after they find new companionship, with our favorite goats after being separated due to helicopter raids or  falling  bombs from the air by the filthy running dog imperialist infidels. We find the kindness and concern of the infidels at Google almost heartwarming. Praise be to Allah."
Google is rumored to have promised new high level closed loop security for Goats + communication in return for copious amounts of advertising revenue from the Mideast economies heretofore unreachable. The announcement was praised by terrorist from the windswept deserts hills of Syria to the rugged mountains regions of Afghanistan.

ISIS leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, was not available for comment, but is rumored to be jubilant at the announcement.

Monday, July 6, 2015

How to Know You're Attending a Liberal 4th of July Celebration and Fireworks Display

1.  At the entrance to the venue, several personal injury attorneys have set up information booths
2.  Instead of actual fireworks, the emcee tells the audience to close their eyes and rub them with their palms
3.  It’s just that guy from the Police Academy movies making fireworks noises with his mouth
4.  Instead of rousing patriotic music, all they play is Adele and Enya
5.  The guy in charge of the fireworks has five fingers, total
6.   The entire show is a pair of twins running around holding sparklers
7.   You notice the men lighting the fireworks display are wearing ISIS T-shirts
8.   At the end, the fireworks form a colorful image of Barack and Michelle Obama

#BlackLivesMatter.......

10 killed, 55 wounded in Fourth of July

gun violence in Chicago



A Good Monday Morning

Saturday, July 4, 2015

I just witnessed one of the Funniest Things I've seen in a long long time.....

Driving home earlier, my route took me downtown pass the Caddo Parish Court House where the infamous Confederate Memorial Statue has stood since 1902. Beneath the statue were gathered a group of feral black youth and a few young children, many dressed in the red, black and green colors of the African flag, some in what looked like Che t-shirts.

Jumping around and very animated, they were gathered in a circle with 4 or 5 at a time trying to set fire to a sopping wet confederate battle flag...... while stand in rain shower!

I watched with laughter as small groups lit they cigarette lighters and held them to the flag until they were to hot to hold, drop them and painfully wave their hands in the air.  For 15 minutes or so I watched this demonstration of amazing futile stupidity from a distance until my passenger and I couldn't control our laughter any longer and feared the same might happen with our bladders..... 

I'm starting to believe there  really is such a thing as Devolution. 

Original Version of The Declaration of Independence Discovered

And this explains a lot:

NOTE: In 1770, the average per capita intake of distilled spirits (whiskey, rum, gin and brandy) was 3.4 gallons; by 1830, the per capita intake exceeded 5 gallons.



After some thought, the framers of the original 
document put down the Ale mugs and all
agreed to a rewrite, and be a little more diplomatically
thorough in telling King George to kiss their asses. 


Along with the U.S. Constitution, the rewritten Declaration 
has pretty much been ignored in modern times.
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