Meanwhile, Back in DC......

In the next two months, the most unpopular institution in America will decide the fates of a president's power, a military strike, defense contracts, the budget, health-care implementation, the Federal Reserve chairmanship, illegal immigrants, and all of us who would be hit by a debt default. 

"It will be bitter, ugly, extremely high stakes and in every case wildly unpredictable. 'In 33 years, we’ve never come back from summer break with the number of very critical, important issues that we’re going to confront over the next 90 to 120 days" -  House Democratic Whip Steny Hoyer  

Case Notes: Patient 540463 - Obama, Barack H.

 by The Laughing Conservative

From the notebook of S.H. Rink, MD.

9/5/13 - Patient still unstable after panic attack on Air Force One. We landed at St Petersburg this morning and I have been asked to join him and Susan Rice in The Beast which was flown here because Patient did not want to travel in the same Mercedes Benz limos as the other G20 attendees to the conference at the Constantine Palace. Patient was still showing signs of Vladiphobia as we began the journey."I don't trust that Putin" he said as he peered anxiously out of the window. He spoke to the Secret service driver. "When we get there, how will we know it's the correct destination?" "Don't worry Sir," said the agent "I have driven the route several times to scout for potential security problems." Patient took on a panicked appearance. "Security problems? Oh, God... I knew I should never have entered Pootin's lair."

Patient assumed a fetal position on the back seat and began sucking his thumb. Within only minutes we were outside the Constantine Palace. Patient whimpered: " Doctor, how do I know this isn't the KGB headquarters and they are waiting inside to grab me?" asked Patient. The Secret Service agent, obviously used to Patient's outbursts, said calmly: "Sir, the Lubyanka is in Moscow. The only person waiting inside here is President Putin waiting to greet you."

" Oh God, Dr Rink, give me a shot of your magic juice," patient said to me, and against my better judgment I gave him a small injection of Ativan. "What is your first name, Dr Rink? Patient asked. "Stephen," I replied. "Stephen, please come inside with me, I need your support." We proceeded inside where, waiting for my patient, was his nemesis, Vlad Putin. The Ativan had kicked in now and patient reacted with only a slight wince as Putin's muscled hand clamped around his and squeezed... I could hear Patient's knuckles crack. Patient's Secret Service agents closed in at his sides and I took up the rear. So far so good. ---Dictated by S.H. Rink, MD.

_______________________________________

9/6/13 - Patient went to bed very late last night and was up early this morning. He was angry at the world for not buying his Syria attack plan. Vlad Putin asked for a brief meeting this morning. Patient was suspicious of Putin but agreed to a meeting after I had administered a modest dose of Ativan to patient to diminish his Vladiphobia. I was not allowed to attend the meeting but patient emerged trembling and looking scared. "Get me to Air Force One, ASAP," he told his Secret Service detail. "Dr. Rink please stay with me. Please!"

When we were safely installed in the rear seat of The Beast, patient lay down, put a thumb in his mouth and pulled a small, pink blanket out of a door pocket and began to rub the satin edge against his cheek. "Boo-Boo make things better" he said. "Boo-boo is a good blankie." I nodded my agreement, hoping to keep the moron together long enough to get him back on board AF1 and his private office where I could counsel him and get him to relax for the long flight to DC. I was very concerned about what had happened during his one-on-one meeting with Putin, so I decided to hypnotize him. In my medical kit I have a device with a row of LEDs that light-up from side to side and I ask patients to follow the movement with their eyes. A state of hypnosis is usually quickly induced.

"Imagine you are again entering that private room with Putin," I tell him. " Tell me what transpires." Patient begins to tremble again and suddenly gasps: "Wummff" and grabs his stomach. "Putin's has suddenly pivoted and punched me in the solar plexus. He's saying: " Ovitch, keep the hell out of Syria, you pathetic pantiewaist. I fled before he could punch me again."

I tell patient to sleep and to wake in a couple hours when I snap my fingers. --Dictated by Dr S.H. Rink

______________________________________

9/7/13 - Patient remained in a deeply hypnotic trance for several hours. As dawn's early light shone through the windows of Air Force One I snapped my fingers near patient's ear and he sat up sleepily. " It's dawn" I said, "so I guess we'll be landing in DC in a couple hours. I will leave you now so you can catch up on events and have breakfast in peace." I made my way to the general cabin and gratefully accepted an offer of coffee.

I turned on my miniature digital recorder and dictated the general observations that follow: I have previously noted patient's Narcissistic Personality Disorder which today manifests itself as an obsession with Syria, where Patient is childishly focused on immediate gratification and seems completely incapable of thinking in terms of logical steps and consequences. Obamacare-- in which I have a vested interest, as a psychiatrist-- is another obvious example. When I am back in DC I will have to consult with Valerie Jarrett and Joe Biden about how they wish to proceed.

Personally, I would put the moron out to pasture. But that's just me. [BJS]

The Laughing Conservative.blogspot.com

Western Activists Volunteer to Become Collateral Damage

Uh...that 72 virgins deal is only for the Muslims there people.

"Hundreds of western peace activists, including from Britain and from the US, have volunteered to become "human shields" in government-held parts of Syria.  

The 'International Human Shields' movement, started by a group of activists in Britain and the US, plans to bring to Syria civilians from countries around the globe, who will try to deter US strikes on the country by staking out potential military targets.

 Franklin Lamb, a lawyer recently appointed as the legal adviser for the group said he had been "inundated" with requests from activists including from Canada, France, Italy, the US, and Britain.

 The Syrian regime has not yet indicated whether it will allow the group to enter the country, but it raises the prospect of hundreds of pacifists descending on Damascus, as happened in Baghdad before the 2003 Iraq invasion.

The 'human shield' strategy has also been taken up by some Damascenes. A group calling itself 'Over Our Dead Bodies' has established a sit-in at Qassioun, a mountain overlooking Damascus that is home to both a large military base and state television centre. Some demonstrators have brought along their children. Their cheeks painted in the colours of the Syrian flag, they waved posters of Bashar al-Assad and sang patriotic songs...." 

Keep Reading 

Al Gore: Massacres That Pose Environmental Risk in Today's World Unacceptable

MFNS
In a speech this week at a conference of  PETME (People for the Ethical Treatment of Mother Earth) Al Gore said that if confirmed that the Syrian government carried out an attack on its own people using chemical weapons that the United States must take action against any government who's hostilities could have “ negative environmental repercussions.” 

“At a time when combating climate change is of the utmost importance, we cannot stand by and watch as government leaders are massacring their citizens with warheads containing potentially hazardous chemicals,” Gore said.

The attack in Zamalka, a suburb of Damascus, accounts for only a fraction of the lives lost in a civil war that has gripped Syria for more than two years.  Up to this point, the U.S. and other nations have avoided military intervention in the region, arguing that previous massacres were carried out “within the parameters of international environmental law.” 

Now, with the deployment of chemical weapons to carry out attacks, Gore believes Syrian President Bashar al-Assad has “crossed a green line.” Assad has denied responsibility for the chemical strike, instead blaming the region’s rebels. The Syrian leader believes the claims against him are “absurd’ given that he has shown himself time and again to be “an eco-friendly type of guy.” 

“I recycle. I drive a hybrid. I do all of that,” Assad said in response to Gore's comment. “The idea that I would kill my own people with weapons that could contaminate the ground water is just ridiculous.” “Believe me,” Assad reiterated, “when I slaughter innocent civilians in my own country, I make sure to use low-emission explosives and then discard the bodies in very deep holes.   

“This is not about ousting a dictator,” Gore insist. “This is about sending a message to government leaders everywhere: Before you decide to drop bombs on the women and children of today, you had better think about the effect it will have on the environment tomorrow.”  

Blurry Red Lines and Pork BBQ - A Politically Incorrect Fable

The Right Truth

Once upon a time, eight-year old Sammie Mac struggled with his homework assignment to write a letter to the President of the United States. He couldn't decide what to say until his mom suggested he write what was in his heart.  
 And so he did. - 

 


Dear Mr. President, How are you? 

I am sad because Daddy told me our vacation trip to Washington was not gonna' happen because the White House doors were locked shut. Mommy said it was 'cause the carpets had been cleaned and were wet. Daddy called Mommy Pinocchio nose. She gave him her squinty eye look and said, "No dessert for you Buster." HAHAHA! She forgot his name is Charlie. I asked Daddy when he thought we could go inside our White House. He said the doors would be unlocked on the same day Hel . . . sinki freezes over.

I hope that's soon. Sincerely, your friend, Sammie Mac 

P.S. Daddy made a YouTube video of me reading this letter to share with Gram and Gramps.  

The very next day, Sammie Mac wrote a second letter.

Dear Mr. President, How are you?

I felt kinda icky in my tummy today when my teacher gave me her squinty eye look after she read my letter and told me to write a better one. So, here goes. Did your dog enjoy his vacation at Martha's house? Is BO named after you or your armpit? Daddy said he would like to be BO's dog walker and get paid more than my teacher. He said he'd be happy to pick up BO's poop and wipe his feet so mud wouldn't get tracked on our White House carpets. Are they still wet? I told Daddy I would ask you please to give him the dog walking job. He snort-laughed through his nose. He said Valerie and Mooch-elle were in charge of everything and for sure, they would invite him to be BO's dog walker, on the day Hel . . . sinki freezes over.

I hope that's soon. Sincerely, your friend, Sammie Mac. 

P.S. Daddy made a YouTube video of me reading this letter. 

P.P.S. He sent it to all his friends and so did Gram and Gramps.

The very next day, Sammie Mac wrote a a third letter: 

Keep Reading: He's just getting started..

This Could be Better than Watching a Monkey Bungee Jump

Is a New Hero for The Low Information

Voter on the Horizon?

Alec Baldwin to Host TV Interview Show on MSNBC

Commander Zero's Red Line Community Get Together

It looks like the Boy King's leadership on the world stage is about to face its most serious test as Russia and China appear ready if nessary to physically challenge Obama’s controversial plan unload a few on Syria.

Agence France-Presse News reports three more Russian warships crossed Turkey’s Bosphorus Strait Thursday en route to the Eastern Mediterranean near the coast of Syria. Based on a diagram posted by Zero Hedge, Russia now has six vessels in the eastern Mediterranean versus 13 US ships and two US submarines.

If that’s not enough, Russian news source Telegrafist reported Wednesday that at least one Chinese vessel is en route to the Mediterranean. It appears (at least publicly) China is only coming to “observe” the situation and catch some sun, although it’s clearly sending a message for the US to back off.

Congressional Skin Color Caucus Ordered Not To Criticize Obama

The chairwoman of the Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) has asked it's members (you know the one's who are always sticking their faces in a microphone) to "limit comment" (STFU) on the issue of Commander Zero and The Earl of Ketchup's up coming diversion from Obama's growing ineptness at home until they are briefed by senior administration officials. An increasing number of Black lawmakers have voice dissent over the Obama administration’s war plans in Syria. 

Foreign Policy Mag:

"A congressional aide to a CBC member called the request “eyebrow-raising,” in an interview withThe Cable, and said the request was designed to quiet dissent while shoring up support for President Obama’s Syria strategy......"

"When asked if the White House requested the partial gag order, National Security Council spokeswoman Caitlin Hayden said “the Administration is reaching out to all Members to ensure they have the information they need to make an informed judgment on this issue.” Kirby said it was her boss’s request and was aimed at keeping members informed rather than silencing anti-war members......."

Plantation Secured! 

Vlad Taunts Commander Zero

The Boy King couldn't ask for a more awkward moment to be forced to travel to Russia and face Russian President Vladimir Putin.

"An ally of Syrian leader Bashar Assad and the man who took in U.S. national security leaker Edward Snowden, Putin spent the days leading up to the arrival late this week of Obama in St. Petersburg for the G20 summit of world leaders taunting Obama and ridiculing his call for Congress to approve a military strike in Syria.

The Russian president, who Obama recently needled for acting like a “bored” schoolboy during their last one-on-one meeting, argued that an attack without the authorization of the U.N. Security Council — authorization of which he has thwarted at every turn — would amount to a violation of international law and could be seen as nothing more than “an act of aggression” on the part of the United States. 

He then once again warned against any action without U.N. Security Council authorization.

“In accordance with applicable international law, the authorization of the use of force against a sovereign state can only be given by the Security Council of the United Nations. Any other reasons, or methods, to justify the use of force against an independent and sovereign state are unacceptable and cannot be qualified as anything other than aggression.”

The Examiner

Joe Biden Takes Flying Lessons

With the country safely in the hands of Barack Obama,

the Vice President takes up a new interest