The Tweeter-in-Chief: @POTUS Hosts a Twitter Q&A

Whitehouse.gov

President Obama took to Twitter to engage Americans on the real progress we've made to move our country forward and discuss how we can continue taking action to address the challenges and opportunities in the years ahead. After a town hall at McKinley High School in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, the President answered #AskPOTUS questions on a range of topics facing Americans right now.

The most asked question: 
Mr. President, where the hell is Baton Rouge and WTF are you doing there?

Brotherman Visits Baton Rouge

Obama swooped into the state capital in all his majesty yesterday to meet and have his ring kissed by our newly elected Governor. Later he ventured out for a taste of local cuisine, and afterward was quickly reminded he wasn't in Chicago....

ISIS Premiers New Talk Show For Women

MIDDLE FINGER NEWS SERVICE:

Raqqa Syria - ISIS today premiered their much anticipated Islamic version of the American television show "The View" on the Islamic state's official Syrian television channel. Geared towards the female adherence of  the 'Religion of Peace',  the hosts Wajhi, Daryri and Joy, cover such important topics as the latest in Burka fashions, Halal Food recipes, choosing the proper fitting suicide belt,  goat grooming, European travel tips as well as advice on proper etiquette for attending public executions.

My Hopes of Becoming a World Leader Have Been Throughly Dashed!

With so many people on the republican side of the isle jumping on the runaway birther train, riding it all the way to CruzCan’tBePresidentVille, and gettin' all up in his stuff, Senator Ted Cruz fights an uphill battle. Donald Trump kicked it off of course, because Trump is that guy who will always go there. And Senator Grouch McCain gleefully joined in for the fun of kicking a man while he’s down Canadian. Carly Fiorina hasn't quite said he was a dirty foreigner yet, but did point out that Cruz only just recently started loving America instead of making love to Canada. I guess we shouldn’t be so surprised that even his Senate colleagues have declined to defend him on this front.

And then the Washington Post had to go and make everything worser by finding a constitutional law professor lady, one Mary Brigid McManamon of Widener University’s Delaware Law School, to write an entire op-ed  about how Senator Ted cannot be president on account of the fact that his mother pushed him out of her female lady parts while in the frozen socialist tundra of Canada rather than the USA. Now, because a lawyer who is also a professor lady wrote it, and because that lawyer who is also a professor lady is fighting with some other lawyers (probably chauvinist males types) who already wrote about how all-American Senator Ted is, the op-ed has one million lawyer words. We’ve helpfully skimmed over it and given myself a bad headache in order to find and bring you the money shot:

"The Constitution provides that “No person except a natural born citizen . . . shall be eligible to the office of President.” […] On this subject, the common law is clear and unambiguous. The 18th-century English jurist William Blackstone, the preeminent authority on it, declared natural-born citizens are “such as are born within the dominions of the crown of England,” while aliens are “such as are born out of it.” The key to this division is the assumption of allegiance to one’s country of birth."

She also apparently feels so strongly about Senator Ted not being eligible to be president that she went and wrote an entire law review article  about the Natural Born Citizen Clause last year, merrily name-checking Cruz throughout. She gets all deep down and dirty originalist and textualist about it, just the way we conservatives like, and she concludes:

"The introduction to this Article posed a question: “in the eyes of early Americans, would someone born in a foreign country of American parents be a ‘natural born citizen’ and therefore eligible to be President of the United States?” The pertinent historical materials lead to only one conclusion: aside from children born to U.S. ambassadors or soldiers in hostile armies, the answer is “no.”

So I guess she showed Senator Ted, and he should just pack it in and give it up. The Wapo's  Constitutional Lawyer Lady friend from Delaware has spoken. And I, sharing the same unfortunate and unconstitutional black mark on my being, having been launched from my American Mother's female lady parts while in a foreign country, my devious future plans of becoming the first Lady Dictator Leader of the American people are officially dashed. I'm utterly crushed and devastated.    

Damn Idaho!

 * Seems wild gorillas have already killed the entire population of Maine 

Bulletin: U.S.State Department 01/13/2016

"US. Secretary of State John Kerry telephoned counterparts in Tehran, convinced the Iranians that the ships' movement was an accident and was not an intentional violation of Iran's territorial waters." - @NBCNews

UPDATE: James Taylor in route to Tehran with written apology, the newest porn releases and will serenade Iranian Military Commanders........ Developing.

Hey Iran, you have exactly 300 days left to push a US president around. Enjoy it while you can. After that, there will be hell to pay.

— Joe Scarborough (@JoeNBC) January 12, 2016

Obama To Once Again Thrill Us With His Teleprompter Skills and Last Annual Manure Spread Of His Presidency Tonight

We can once again expect more lying then a teenage boy with his pants around his ankles sitting in a squad car trying to explain to a Deputy why the Sheriff's daughter is in the back seat of his car naked from the waist up......

Watch Your Back Spicoli......

After inadvertently leading Police to the capture of the famous drug lord Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman, who's violent tentacles reach far and wide, Mr.Spicoli may have just revived his award winning role as a "Dead Man Walking".

......of course there is always the 'Amish Witness Protection  Program'. 

A Good Monday Morning

We Don't Listen

Just as in the early part of the last century they were told what was to come. 

They didn't listen. 

 Once again we have been told exactly what is to come. 

And We Don't Listen.  

Houari Boumediene (1932-1978)

H/T Beth Rogers

Son of JFK and Marilyn Monroe Arrested in Plot to Kidnap Obama's Dog

Fox 5 WASHINGTON - A North Dakota man was arrested in Northwest D.C. after he allegedly planned to kidnap one of the Obama family’s dogs, according to court documents.  Secret Service agents took Scott Stockert, 49, into custody Wednesday at the Hampton Inn located at 901 6th Street. He arrived in the District alone, driving a pick-up truck from North Dakota.

During Stockert’s interview with agents, he allegedly stated that his parents were John F. Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe. He also said that he came to D.C. to go to the Capitol to advocate for $99 per month healthcare and to announce that he was running for president.

In court Friday, Stockert admitted to sending a text message to his daughter saying that he planned to take Bo, one of the first family's dogs, because he heard “they weren’t taking care of him.” He also said he was kidding.

As he was being transported, Stockert allegedly claimed to be Jesus Christ. According to court documents, he also stated, "You picked the wrong person to mess with. I will (expletive) your world up."

HT/MJA