Sunday, January 31, 2016
Saturday, January 30, 2016
The Rapper and The Planetarium Gift Shop Manager Battle It Out Over the Flat Earth Theory
They Be Dissing All Up In Here
While everyone is absorbed and distracted by the every present political bitch-slapping and media driven nonsense of the presidential primary season that has begun to take on the trappings of a Marx Brothers movie, on the outskirts of reality there has been other less serious but humorous battles taking place.
Seems a 9th grade dropout / rap artist named B.o.B. apparently believes that the world is flat, and that the highly entertaining celebrity Planetarium Gift Shop Manager and media personality, Neil deGrasse Tyson, (who recently took to tweeter to show his trouble discerning the fact adding spaceships to a medieval style mythical story of a boy joining up with an old wizard to save a princess from evil's grasp, is not science) is in fact part of a vast secret scientific conspiracy to hide the fact of earth's flatness from the ignorant populous.
That idea may come as a surprise to every astronaut and cosmonaut who has orbited the Earth, but as with most conspiracy theories, flat eartherism is impervious to facts and reason.
In what has to be the weirdest rap battle in history, the Atlanta rapper released a “diss track” called “Flatline” in which he compared himself to Malcolm X. and calls out Tyson for his belief in a round earth. The musical salvo elicited a response in the form of another diss track called “Flat to Fact” launched at B.o.B. by Tyson and his nephew, rapper Stephen Tyson.
 |
| Rapper B.o.B. and the Planetarium Gift Shop Manager |
The diss track B.o.B. launched makes fun of Tyson’s clothing choices, among other things.
"Neil Tyson need to loosen up his vest
They'll probably write that man one hell of a check."No doubt glad of the media exposure and the opportunity to connect with the rap community that has been woefully underserved by science education, Tyson and his nephew issued a cheeky response.
“I think it's very clear, that Bobby didn't read enough
And he's believing all this conspiracy theory stuff
Are these all of your thoughts or is the loud talkin?"Diss tracks, in various forms, have been around since the ancient Irish bards. Angering an Irish musician was not something you did if you knew what was good for you. The music performed by some of those ancient musicians was said to have such power that it could cause inclement weather and make livestock sicken and die. Modern rappers have to resort to drive-by shootings when they get cross with someone.
Friday, January 29, 2016
B.H.Obama’s Government Job Exit Interview
MIDDLE FINGER NEWS SERVICE
The latest trend in the world of human resources is the so-called exit interview. In theory, it gives a departing employee an opportunity to express their grievances while at the same time providing useful feedback to the employer.
After a slight miscalculation (and resulting disappearance of a small portion of the nearby population) the MFNS Time Machine is once again in working order, and we were able to reach into the future and grab some historic government document of interest. Among the recent cache of files we came across the Exit Interview of one government employee......
What is your main reason for leaving your employment?
"Basically, my failure in both nullifying the 2016 election and ramming through an amendment allowing me a third and fourth term, which I thought was only fair considering all my predecessors were white folks."
Did anything trigger your decision to leave?
"The deadline of January 20, 2017 obviously has a lot to do with it but, getting away from those crazy Republicans and getting Joe Biden out of my hair came in a real close second."
What was most satisfying about your job?
"Sleeping late and being the leader of the most powerful nation on Earth......and working in a building big enough to get away from Michelle most of the day."
What was the least satisfying thing about your job?
"Being made fun of by that bully Alex Putin.
Did your job duties turn out to be as you expected?
"A big NO on that one. I thought I’d be entertaining celebrities and eating good and setting a legislative agenda to help guide America's future. I didn't expect that I'd spending so much of my time meeting with foreign leaders and their fat ass wives I never heard of and couldn't understand a word they were saying."
Did you receive adequate training to do your job?
"Well, I never took lessons, but I did get to play with some of the best golfers in the world"
Did you receive sufficient feedback about your performance?
You kiddin'? Ever listen to talk radio?
Were you able to fulfill your career goals?
"Not really. I always wanted to be a point guard for the Bulls."
What would you change to make your workplace better?
"Close down the House of Representatives and the Supreme Court. Seriously, though, how about shutting down the House and the Supreme Court?"
Did any policies or procedures make your job more difficult?
"Yes, the Constitution often got in the way of what I wanted to accomplish. Also, I wasn't always a big fan of the judicial system."
Would you consider working again for this employer?
"Well, obviously I can’t be President anymore, and Hillary's Supreme Court Justice idea ain't gonna happen, but I might try and get on at the DMV or something. But after the riots, my Health-care reforms being overturned, those &$@# damn Mexicans turning on me and my party....not to mention that little thing with the male intern, I don't think that's going to happen."
Did anyone discriminate against you, harass you or cause hostile working conditions?
"Two words....McConnell and Boehner !"
Based on your experience, what do you think it takes to succeed in your position?
"Probably a “coup d’etat.” Am I still allowed to say “coup d’etat”?
What did you like most about your job?
"Flying around on Air Force One.... with the private and untraceable Internet connection. Man. you could stream any kind of videos you could want......if you get my drift?"
What did you like least about your job?
"Dealing with that frickin' Netanyahu.... and Putin's damn gay comments on my Facebook page.....and Pelois farting in Leadership meetings all the time....and Harry Reid's nose hairs, and Biden babbling about the squirrels outside on the lawn..."
Mr. President...
.....and Michelle bitchin' about me sneaking a smoke on the terrace... and Boehner drinking up all the oval office booze....and Valerie Jarrett kicking me under the table in cabinet meets....and Barney Frank's naked pictures in his Christmas cards....and "
Mr. President!
Before leaving, did you consider a transfer?
"Yes, many times I considered transferring Joe Biden."
Do you have any tips or advice to help your replacement?
"Yes! Replace the mattress in the White House residence. Seriously, replace it! If that thing could talk!
Other than that, I think President-Elect Trump needs no advise from me."
The latest trend in the world of human resources is the so-called exit interview. In theory, it gives a departing employee an opportunity to express their grievances while at the same time providing useful feedback to the employer.
After a slight miscalculation (and resulting disappearance of a small portion of the nearby population) the MFNS Time Machine is once again in working order, and we were able to reach into the future and grab some historic government document of interest. Among the recent cache of files we came across the Exit Interview of one government employee......
Executive Branch Human Resources Dept.
Form 2148/2700B-5 - Exit Interview:
Barack H. Obama - 44th President - Jan 5, 2017:
Form 2148/2700B-5 - Exit Interview:
Barack H. Obama - 44th President - Jan 5, 2017:
What is your main reason for leaving your employment?
"Basically, my failure in both nullifying the 2016 election and ramming through an amendment allowing me a third and fourth term, which I thought was only fair considering all my predecessors were white folks."
Did anything trigger your decision to leave?
"The deadline of January 20, 2017 obviously has a lot to do with it but, getting away from those crazy Republicans and getting Joe Biden out of my hair came in a real close second."
What was most satisfying about your job?
"Sleeping late and being the leader of the most powerful nation on Earth......and working in a building big enough to get away from Michelle most of the day."
What was the least satisfying thing about your job?
"Being made fun of by that bully Alex Putin.
Did your job duties turn out to be as you expected?
"A big NO on that one. I thought I’d be entertaining celebrities and eating good and setting a legislative agenda to help guide America's future. I didn't expect that I'd spending so much of my time meeting with foreign leaders and their fat ass wives I never heard of and couldn't understand a word they were saying."
Did you receive adequate training to do your job?
"Well, I never took lessons, but I did get to play with some of the best golfers in the world"
Did you receive sufficient feedback about your performance?
You kiddin'? Ever listen to talk radio?
Were you able to fulfill your career goals?
"Not really. I always wanted to be a point guard for the Bulls."
What would you change to make your workplace better?
"Close down the House of Representatives and the Supreme Court. Seriously, though, how about shutting down the House and the Supreme Court?"
Did any policies or procedures make your job more difficult?
"Yes, the Constitution often got in the way of what I wanted to accomplish. Also, I wasn't always a big fan of the judicial system."
Would you consider working again for this employer?
"Well, obviously I can’t be President anymore, and Hillary's Supreme Court Justice idea ain't gonna happen, but I might try and get on at the DMV or something. But after the riots, my Health-care reforms being overturned, those &$@# damn Mexicans turning on me and my party....not to mention that little thing with the male intern, I don't think that's going to happen."
Did anyone discriminate against you, harass you or cause hostile working conditions?
"Two words....McConnell and Boehner !"
Based on your experience, what do you think it takes to succeed in your position?
"Probably a “coup d’etat.” Am I still allowed to say “coup d’etat”?
What did you like most about your job?
"Flying around on Air Force One.... with the private and untraceable Internet connection. Man. you could stream any kind of videos you could want......if you get my drift?"
What did you like least about your job?
"Dealing with that frickin' Netanyahu.... and Putin's damn gay comments on my Facebook page.....and Pelois farting in Leadership meetings all the time....and Harry Reid's nose hairs, and Biden babbling about the squirrels outside on the lawn..."
Mr. President...
.....and Michelle bitchin' about me sneaking a smoke on the terrace... and Boehner drinking up all the oval office booze....and Valerie Jarrett kicking me under the table in cabinet meets....and Barney Frank's naked pictures in his Christmas cards....and "
Mr. President!
Before leaving, did you consider a transfer?
"Yes, many times I considered transferring Joe Biden."
Do you have any tips or advice to help your replacement?
"Yes! Replace the mattress in the White House residence. Seriously, replace it! If that thing could talk!
Other than that, I think President-Elect Trump needs no advise from me."
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
If You Wanted to Destroy Conservatism
by Noah Rothman
If you wanted to destroy conservatism – not merely to shatter the Republican Party’s governing coalition, but to break up and discredit the conservative movement itself – how would you go about it?
First, you would have to begin by dismantling its most cherished assumptions. Foremost among them is perhaps that the United States of America is a center-right nation. Only the most cynical would judge the country’s political orientation by the affiliations of its president or, for that matter, its governors or the politicians who make up the majority in its legislatures. The foundation of the presumption that America is a conservative nation is in the values of its peoples.
The notion that the United States is, at root, a conservative nation rests in the belief that its people are hearty, noble, and industrious. That they cherish hard work and believe productivity and inventiveness deserve to be rewarded over accidents of birth. That Americans do not believe the public sector should be the font from which spring, but that the people are the primary sources of compassion and altruism. You would attack the notion that conservatives believe, above all else, in the preservation of every privilege enshrined into the Bill of Rights. And you would attack it by virtue of And you would attack it by virtue of your own example.
Then, you might undermine the central hypothesis at the core of the American experiment itself: that all the people can unite, not around tribal affinity or class associations, but around an idea. The idea, that mankind is fit for self-governance, and that it need not look toward a ruling caste of elites to manage national affairs. You might expose the central divisions within conservatism by exacerbating internal disagreements over the execution of American foreign policy objectives. You might suggest that the value of Fortress America is not merely the preservation of American security, but of meting out a sort of cosmic justice for those born into poverty, authoritarianism, and savagery abroad. Maybe those poor souls deserve their Hobbesian lot, you’d imply strongly. And the crowds would cheer.
From here, you’d target the contradictions within the conservative governing coalition. You could stoke class consciousness and persecution complexes among those who have been left behind as a result of unstoppable global economic forces. You would nurture in them the idea that their unhappy fates were not of their own making. You would show the world conclusively that the economic program offered by countless conservative scions is not all that popular – even among conservatives. The curious subset to whom you have appealed would demonstrate their antipathy for basic conservative programs like small government, a private health care system, a reduced tax burden on the most productive sectors of society, frugality, and the moral imperative of bequeathing unto the next generation a manageable debt burden. You would marry class and racial suspicion with a program that promises even more unsustainable benefits, for which children not yet born will pay.
Having made virtues of consumption and extravagance, you would then seek to short-circuit the conservative movement’s moral compass. You might pay lip service to scruples, but you would also compel your followers to defend your own excesses. You would deemphasize the importance of private property rights, and, in doing so, reject among the most animating beliefs of the nation’s Founders. You would compel opportunistic faith leaders to join you, even as you demonstrate the hollowness of their allegedly principled belief in the sanctity of marriage or the incontestable idea of all God’s children deserve the the gift of life.
You would promote vanity. You would sow conflict and disunity. You would destigmatize crassness and vulgarity, and you would flirt with the notion that violence is an acceptable tool to achieve political ends.
You would never forgive. You would always harbor grudges, and you would threaten and seek vengeance for even the most minor of perceived slights. You would surround yourself with like-minds who place little value in the art of refined communication, and you would make hypocrites of the conservative movement’s heroes.
Finally, you would destroy the conservative movement’s last pillars of unity: its common media. You would pit its intellectual leaders against its most captivating orators. “Nationalism and populism have overtaken conservatism in terms of appeal,” one of conservatism’s beloved communicators might say. You would succeed where the most divisive presidential administration in living memory failed and target the only bastion of true conservative thought on the cable dial. You and your supporters would make allies of those who do not have the conservative movement’s best wishes at heart, while turning your supporters against those who do.
When you were through, you would have rendered the conservatism a political orientation guided not by undying ideas but by one infinitely fallible man. Whether or not you win something as trite as an election, you would have succeeded where so many thousands had failed. You would have destroyed the American conservative movement.
But why would anyone want to go and do that?
[Commentary Magazine]
If you wanted to destroy conservatism – not merely to shatter the Republican Party’s governing coalition, but to break up and discredit the conservative movement itself – how would you go about it?
First, you would have to begin by dismantling its most cherished assumptions. Foremost among them is perhaps that the United States of America is a center-right nation. Only the most cynical would judge the country’s political orientation by the affiliations of its president or, for that matter, its governors or the politicians who make up the majority in its legislatures. The foundation of the presumption that America is a conservative nation is in the values of its peoples.
The notion that the United States is, at root, a conservative nation rests in the belief that its people are hearty, noble, and industrious. That they cherish hard work and believe productivity and inventiveness deserve to be rewarded over accidents of birth. That Americans do not believe the public sector should be the font from which spring, but that the people are the primary sources of compassion and altruism. You would attack the notion that conservatives believe, above all else, in the preservation of every privilege enshrined into the Bill of Rights. And you would attack it by virtue of And you would attack it by virtue of your own example.
Then, you might undermine the central hypothesis at the core of the American experiment itself: that all the people can unite, not around tribal affinity or class associations, but around an idea. The idea, that mankind is fit for self-governance, and that it need not look toward a ruling caste of elites to manage national affairs. You might expose the central divisions within conservatism by exacerbating internal disagreements over the execution of American foreign policy objectives. You might suggest that the value of Fortress America is not merely the preservation of American security, but of meting out a sort of cosmic justice for those born into poverty, authoritarianism, and savagery abroad. Maybe those poor souls deserve their Hobbesian lot, you’d imply strongly. And the crowds would cheer.
From here, you’d target the contradictions within the conservative governing coalition. You could stoke class consciousness and persecution complexes among those who have been left behind as a result of unstoppable global economic forces. You would nurture in them the idea that their unhappy fates were not of their own making. You would show the world conclusively that the economic program offered by countless conservative scions is not all that popular – even among conservatives. The curious subset to whom you have appealed would demonstrate their antipathy for basic conservative programs like small government, a private health care system, a reduced tax burden on the most productive sectors of society, frugality, and the moral imperative of bequeathing unto the next generation a manageable debt burden. You would marry class and racial suspicion with a program that promises even more unsustainable benefits, for which children not yet born will pay.
Having made virtues of consumption and extravagance, you would then seek to short-circuit the conservative movement’s moral compass. You might pay lip service to scruples, but you would also compel your followers to defend your own excesses. You would deemphasize the importance of private property rights, and, in doing so, reject among the most animating beliefs of the nation’s Founders. You would compel opportunistic faith leaders to join you, even as you demonstrate the hollowness of their allegedly principled belief in the sanctity of marriage or the incontestable idea of all God’s children deserve the the gift of life.
You would promote vanity. You would sow conflict and disunity. You would destigmatize crassness and vulgarity, and you would flirt with the notion that violence is an acceptable tool to achieve political ends.
You would never forgive. You would always harbor grudges, and you would threaten and seek vengeance for even the most minor of perceived slights. You would surround yourself with like-minds who place little value in the art of refined communication, and you would make hypocrites of the conservative movement’s heroes.
Finally, you would destroy the conservative movement’s last pillars of unity: its common media. You would pit its intellectual leaders against its most captivating orators. “Nationalism and populism have overtaken conservatism in terms of appeal,” one of conservatism’s beloved communicators might say. You would succeed where the most divisive presidential administration in living memory failed and target the only bastion of true conservative thought on the cable dial. You and your supporters would make allies of those who do not have the conservative movement’s best wishes at heart, while turning your supporters against those who do.
When you were through, you would have rendered the conservatism a political orientation guided not by undying ideas but by one infinitely fallible man. Whether or not you win something as trite as an election, you would have succeeded where so many thousands had failed. You would have destroyed the American conservative movement.
But why would anyone want to go and do that?
[Commentary Magazine]
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Leonardo DiCaprio Offered Role As Vladimir Lenin in Russian Propaganda Movie
Russia's 'Lenfilm' film studio has responded to Leonardo DiCaprio's statement of interest in playing a Russian public figure by offering to collaborate with the actor in a film about everyone's favorite Commie, Vladimir Lenin.
While Little Leo's Oscar snubs have become the butt of a long-standing joke, many predict that he'll finally take home a gold statue for his two and a half hour grunting session in 'The Revenant '. And his nominated performance hasn't gone unnoticed by our Russia friends, who seemed to have liked watching Leo freeze his ass off trying to get noticed.
Sputnik
No word out of Hollywood if any of the famous show business lefties have expressed interest in playing any of the hundreds of thousands killed during the ruthless Lenin Regime......
 |
| Bernie Sanders supporters in Hollywood must be excited. |
While Little Leo's Oscar snubs have become the butt of a long-standing joke, many predict that he'll finally take home a gold statue for his two and a half hour grunting session in 'The Revenant '. And his nominated performance hasn't gone unnoticed by our Russia friends, who seemed to have liked watching Leo freeze his ass off trying to get noticed.
Sputnik
St. Petersburg based studio'Lenfilm' has offered Leonardo DiCaprio the chance to star as a young Vladimir Lenin in a film about the revolutionary, after the actor gave an interview where he expressed interest in portraying Lenin, Rasputin or Russian President Vladimir Putin. Leonardo DiCaprio is often compared to Lenin in his youth. We have enough scenery and props to recreate the era of the revolution," Lenfilm spokesman Valeriy Karlov
The Lenfilm studio is the oldest in Russia, which traces its roots back to 1914 when a local military committee in St. Petersburg started making films. In 1918 the studio expanded to become the St. Petersburg Film Committee and opened 68 cinemas in the city; after two decades it was renamed 'Lenfilm.'
On Sunday DiCaprio, who has recently received his sixth Oscar nomination for his role in 'The Revenant,' told German newspaper Welt on Sonntag that he would like to play Vladimir Putin in a film someday.According to Leo, we’ll all be underwater in a few hundred years, but at least he’s making international relations less hostile for the short time humankind has left.
No word out of Hollywood if any of the famous show business lefties have expressed interest in playing any of the hundreds of thousands killed during the ruthless Lenin Regime......
Monday, January 25, 2016
Can you believe that we’re both sitting in this Oval Office?
Some talentless rapper named Kendrick Lamar and Barack Obama shared a powerful moment at the White House
“Can you believe that we’re both sitting in this Oval Office?”
The first black president and a prominent(?)rapper were recently pondering the power of their positions. To understand the significance of the moment, look no further than Lamar’s critically acclaimed sophomore album, “To Pimp A Butterfly.” Immediately notable is the subversive cover art featuring the Compton, California, rapper in front of the White House, surrounded by a bloc of young black men, pulsating a jubilant, defiant black energy. The group crowds around a dead white judge with a gavel in his hand, symbolizing the criminal justice system.
Enjoy it while you can you no-talent Scumbag. It will be a long time before there will be one who looks like you to sit in the Leaders Chair after what your America loathing boy Barack has done to help bring out the worst in your race, and done to the country.
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