Trump Victory Prompts Psychiatrists Rush to Blue States

Attention: Volunteers Needed

Strong backs and weak minds needed to help Babs Streisand, Cher, Steven King, Samuel L. Jackson, Amy Schumer, and a host of other attention starved B Grade celebrities no ones heard of, pack their shit and be ready to move outta the country as promised before inauguration day Jan. 20th. Below minimum wage I'm sure.

VICTORY!

The Power of Unity

Trump Supporter And Clinton Supporter Hold Each Other’s Hair While Vomiting 
Out Of Election Anxiety

If this doesn’t prove what’s beautiful about America, we don’t know what does.  Politically, Sarah Goodwin and Colleen Cassidy agree on almost nothing. They vehemently oppose the other’s candidate of choice and couldn’t differ more on the direction our country should be heading in. Yet, as this heatedly divisive election cycle comes to a head, these two demonstrated just how powerful a united American people can be when we put our differences aside and work together: Sarah, a Trump supporter, and Colleen, a Clinton supporter, held each other’s hair back while vomiting out of intense election anxiety.

In a campaign season as contentious as this one, you really have to stop and appreciate moments like this.  LOL!

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Trump Has The Loonies Leftist at Salon Looking for a "Safe Place"

Wealthy Liberal celebrities have threatened to leave the US if Donald Trump wins the election, some even claiming they will leave the planet. That however pales in comparison to what D. Watkins, an editor for the lefty website Salon, wants black people to do. He says they should all move to Atlanta Georgia, and then split from America altogether.

DownTrend:

D. Watkins has a funny feeling that Trump is going to win and that isn't sitting well with him. In fact he says, “If Trump wins, we’re outta here” because apparently he speaks for all black people. He also raises the alarm that all black people are “doomed” if Trump wins unless they can find a safe space.

Which brings us to his grand plan of migration and succession:

"Atlanta can be the capital of a new black nation. 
Donald can’t send us to Africa, and the idea of a massive black migration to Canada is unrealistic. But we can all make to Atlanta, which might be the most progressive black-majority city in our country. It’s kind of how Brooklyn is for white people now. There’s an endless number of black lawyers, doctors, accountants and business owners — plus everybody is nice and they’ll all love to take a listen to your mixtape. 

Beyond all that, maybe we can pool our money together, redefine education, start our own army and even build a wall. A real wall — far more impressive than the one Donald is lying about building between us and Mexico. A massive bulletproof structure to separate us from Trump, the KKK, his supporters, his KKK supporters, all the heavily armed George Zimmerman types and the rest of the morons who hate and or try to destroy blackness — like Ben Carson and Stacey Dash."

Who is going to protect all of the black people in this black utopia from other black people, who are the ones who actually kill most blacks? Donald Trump, the KKK, and George Zimmerman have collectively killed exactly one black person in this century and that was a justifiable case of self-defense. Black people on the other hand kill between 8,000 and 10,000 other black people every year. Cramming every black person in this country into a walled-off Atlanta is unlikely to reverse the shocking level of black-on-black murder.

But wait, it gets even crazier:

"I would also like to extend the invitation to all Mexicans as well — because even though we disagree on everything from dance moves to our taste in music to the way we wear our jeans to how rice should be prepared, we all have to unite and protect ourselves from Donald Trump and the long list of angry supporters who are going to be even angrier when he doesn’t make good on any of his promises."

Imagine 37 million blacks and 50 million Latinos occupying the 132 square miles of Atlanta, surrounded by a “massive bullet proof wall.” Things are going to get a little cramped and violent. You couldn't find a shittier more frightening place on the planet. Syria and Iraq would look like luxury resorts compared to this “new black nation.”

There are obviously some big problems with this plan beyond the fact that this black/Mexican utopia would have approximately 90% of all criminals living in it. There aren’t 87 million jobs to be had in Atlanta, and won’t be any hard working white people paying taxes to support the 86.6 million unemployed residents of this hellhole. 

Last time I checked Salon.com was owned and run by white people. But, then again, no one ever accused the left of being rational.....

Say a Prayer For The Nation Before You Go To Sleep Tonight ...........

That the country God has so blessed for 240 years makes the right decision, and doesn't go the way of Europe.  

☞ ✉ ☜

A Good Monday Morning

An Open Letter From Anthony Weiner

From Somewhere inside the Witness Protection Program:

Hey everyone, I just wanted to apologize about inadvertently providing the FBI with new evidence for the investigation into Hillary Clinton and her private server. Director Comey obviously has a personal agenda, but still, I hope that nothing bad results from all this, like someone who just last week was being crowned winner of the presidential race actually losing. I just feel really, really awful about this. Can you imagine if I’m forever known as the dolt who unwittingly got Donald Trump elected? The shame will literally destroy me. I’ll have nothing left to live for, except the off chance that some young coed who’s never heard of Weinergate will send me a Whatsapp message asking for a photo of my package.

Yikes! Pardon me, seriously. I’m under a lot of stress. You know, it’s just that the whole country, no, the whole world, really sees me as some sort of huge doofus, the type of monumental klutz who single-handedly brings down a billion-dollar presidential campaign. I’m sure everyone is really pissed off at me. And they’re right to be angry. You know, in times like these we have to take a moment to step back and smile. Want to see something cute? It’s a picture of a baby elephant trunk. Look, I’ve got it right here on my phone.

Doh! Please forgive me. It’s not my fault. Contrary to what’s been said in the media, I don’t enjoy this, all these articles and news reports characterizing me as some kind of incurable exhibitionist. Honestly, I don’t like being the focus of so much attention. I don’t want everyone looking at me. Just one special NYU poli sci major with whom I’ve been chatting. Are you reading this, Amanda Zamarra? Check your inbox for a message with a huge attachment.

 Seriously, I didn’t grow up thinking one day I’d marry the top aide to the first female presidential candidate for a major party, then screw it all up by sexting with an underaged teen and getting caught. No, believe it or not, I had other things on my mind when I was young. Sports, for example. Just look at this picture in my high school yearbook, there I am with the swim team. Can you see the ol’ wiener through my speedos?

Oh man, there I go again. Would someone please kindly give me some more medication? And if you don’t mind, just tell me how good I look in these jockey shorts?

Sincerely, Carlos Danger  A. Weiner
(help me!)