The Lefties are in Revolt

Posted by Diogenes Sarcastica
Dec 10, 2010

A Sanctimonious Bastard Speaks 

Richard Fernandez (Belmont Club)
Keith Olbermann goes ballistic on hearing that President Obama didn’t raise taxes. Basically Keith calls the president a low-down, plate-licking, dime-pinching, two-faced, snake oil salesman for not raising taxes just when the economy needs it most. That’s the polite version.

You’ve got to feel for President Obama. Olbermann didn’t hear the president say that the American people had been taken hostage by the evil conservatives. Despite the fact the Democrats controlled the House, the Senate and the presidency, they did this. Somehow. And he had no choice but to capitulate. President Obama is the kind of guy who owns up to responsibility. They made him do it.

"There is only one possible rational explanation for this irrational and childish transaction. There are Republicans and Tea Partiers who are still intent on cutting off their noses to spite their faces — the “Blind Rage Conservatives” for whom any compromise is disaster, just as for this President, apparently no compromise is disaster." 

You can read Olberfart's full tirade at Belmont Club.

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Sainthood Put on Hold

Posted by Publius Minimus
Dec.8, 2010 

  
The Vatican Hesitates  on Shortcut  

 (Rome) A Vatican spokesman said today that reports of the proposed Sainthood for U.S. president, Barack Obama having been shelved for now are indeed true, but his Holiness the Pope  will review it again in about five or ten years. The Holy See has decided to review it at a much later date on order to see if Mr. Obama can pull off a few extra miracles, besides the one of himself getting elected. 

 Aides to Obama have begun intense investigation to find  if there were any previous deeds that Obama has done in the past that could coincide with the requirements of the Vatican.  

 Obama Clearly Seen Miraculously Floating Among  
 Competitors During a Recent Basketball Game 

    

Witness claims of previous miracles his staff have uncovered for consideration include Susan Bobelheid, an NBC reporter's claim of Obama miraculously turning a 73% voter approval rating in 2008 into 38% today.  And CNN reporter Biff Spittle says no one can deny a miracle when watching Obama dazzle audiences with his teleprompter reading skills.   

Mboto Chunka, a New York City cab driver also claims Obama actually hailed a cab and was picked up in all-white Bensonhurst, NY.  

 The Vatican has promised to research all claims of miraculous acts performed by Obama and will issue a white paper report in the year 2020, though some believe it could be as early as 2019. 

 FOX News commentator Bill O'Reily even offered his support by claiming, “If his party wins anything in the next election, that would be a real miracle.”

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Hillary Clinton to U.S. Diplomats: STFU

Posted by Diogenes Sarcastica
Dec 6, 2010

Secretary of State Orders Diplomats to Stop Being Truthful Until Further Notice

(Washington D.C.) The massive fallout from the last weeks WikiLeaks disclosures has prompted the State Department to take drastic measures to insure the safety of communications and cables between it's embassies and Washington. Among the steps to be taken  is  all U.S. diplomats are ordered to “cease and desist telling the truth until further notice."

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has told reporters off the record they are working to try to make sure that leaks like these don't happen again, but until we they have got the leaks plugged, it’s incumbent on all our diplomats to put on their lying caps.  

 Clinton noted that since many US diplomats are major political donors to the Democrat party with long careers in the business world and that lying shouldn't be a difficult  for them at all. But for those career diplomats who came up through the Foreign Service, the State Department will be holding a series of “truth avoidance seminars,” led by executives of Goldman Sachs. 

Additionally, Clinton said, the State Department would install on all diplomats’ computers new software called CandorShield, which automatically translates truthful language into a less embarrassing truth-free version. For example, the software would translate the phrase “two-faced weasels” into “trusted Pakistani allies” and would delete all references to French President Nicolas Sarkozy as “Monsieur Shorty Pants.”

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A letter from Nancy Pelosi

Posted by Publius Minimus
Dec 4, 2010
from Beautiful Letters

 From the Desk of the Honorable 

  Speaker of the House of Representatives:

Dear American People, 

Well, you went and did it, didn't you, you bunch of arrogant rednecks! Here I've been busting my cute little can for the last four years to undo all the damage that deranged cowboy Bush and his Republican cronies did to this country, and what do you do but take away my Speaker's gavel. As if you have any right! I worked hard all my life to get where I am, and you took it away just because you were mad at that amateur hour clown Obama! 

Well, you're about to find out that two can play at that game. You may have stolen the Speaker's chair from me for now, but I'll get it back in two years. Oh, and get a load of this. I'm STILL speaker RIGHT NOW. So who's going to pay? You are, that's who, you ungrateful, inbred bunch of Palin worshiping troglodytes! You think you can rob me of what's mine and not pay a price? Have I got news for you, America. Right now you've stolen what's mine by right. You took my gavel.

  
 Well you know what they say about payback, and here she comes on high heels and carrying an ice pick. You think it's funny that you took my job? Well I've got your middle-of-a-recession tax hike right here, you yokels. You think unemployment is bad now? By this time next year you'll be wishing it was just fifteen percent. I've got a lame duck session to work with, and I'm going to use it to put the screws to you like you didn't even know was possible. Your taxes are going up and your jobs are going away, and you've got nobody but yourselves to blame for it. You took my job and now I'm taking yours. 

You people thought you were so clever and funny on election night, didn't you? Well who's laughing now? I can't wait to see the looks on your faces when you see those new withholding amounts on your pay stubs. I can't wait to see you crying in the street when all your precious small businesses shut down. Mom and Pop stores? They're popped. And it's your fault for taking what was mine. 
 

So look at this America. I don't get mad, I get even. And right now this "lame duck" session is going to cripple this whole country on its way out. So laugh it up, you hick racists. Because she who laughs last laughs best. And while you're all in the unemployment line, I'll still be sitting pretty here in Congress, just waiting for 2012 to take back what's rightfully mine. And by then you'll be all too happy to give it to me, won't you? See you then, losers.


Sincerely, 

Once and future Speaker of the House San Fran Nan

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The 2011 TSA Pin-Up Calendar

Posted by Diogenes Sarcastica
Dec 1, 2010

This official 2011 TSA Pin-Up calendar features 12 stunning beauties who are sure to stimulate your own personal enhanced pat downs every month. Each month features a new, hot and steamy body scan of one of the TSA’s favorite flyers.

And don’t forget – the official 2011 TSA Pin-Up Calendar makes an excellent Christmas gift! So order yours today!

TSA's Miss January 

Miss January helps put the X in X-ray. When she 
travels on business, the pleasure is all ours.

See the Entire Calendar Here 

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A Parable on Muslim Immigration.

Posted by Diogenes Sarcastica
November 28. 2010

A young girl was trudging along a mountain path, trying to reach her grandmother's house. It was bitter cold, and the wind cut like a knife. When she was within sight of her destination, she heard a rustle at her feet. Looking down, she saw a snake. 

 Before she could move, the snake spoke to her.

He said, "I am about to die. It is too cold for me up here, and I am freezing. There is no food in these mountains, and I am starving. Please put me under your coat and take me with you."


"No," replied the girl. "I know your kind. You are a rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you will bite me, and your bite is poisonous."


"No, no," said the snake. "If you help me, you will be my best friend. I will treat you differently."


The little girl sat down on a rock for a moment to rest and think things over. She looked at the beautiful markings on the snake and had to admit that it was the most beautiful snake she had ever seen. 

 Suddenly, she said, "I believe you. I will save you.
All living things deserve to be treated with kindness." 

The little girl reached over, put the snake gently under her coat and proceeded toward her grandmother's house. Within a moment, she felt a sharp pain in her side. 

 The snake had bitten her. 

"How could you do this to me?" she cried.
"You promised that you would not bite me, and I trusted you!" 

 "You knew what I was when you picked me up," hissed the snake as he slithered away.

(Author Unknown) 
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 Radical Islam is the Antithesis of Western Culture
 

They're Not All Talk....Celebrities Step Up to Help Keep America safe

Posted by Diogenes Sarcastica
Friday, Nov.26, 2010

 

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Thomas Sowell on Enhanced Airport Security and the Obama Administration:

Posted by Publius Minimus
11/23/2010

 The Quote of the Day

"If anything good comes out of the 'airport-security' outrages, it may be in opening the eyes of more people to the utter contempt that this administration has for the American people.

Those who made excuses for Barack Obama — for the candidate’s long years of alliances with, and for the president’s appointment of people with a record of antipathy to American interests and values — may finally get it when they feel some stranger’s hand in their crotch.

"As for the excuse of 'security,' this is one of the least security-minded administrations in American history. When hundreds of illegal immigrants from terrorist-sponsoring countries are captured crossing the border from Mexico — and then released on their own recognizance within the United States, that tells you all you need to know about this administration’s concern for security." --- Thomas Sowell, Economist, Author and Hoover Institution Senior Fellow.

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Too Much Hero Worship? Ya think!

Posted by Diogenes Sarcastica
11/23/2010 

I have made no bones here before about my dislike for Newsweek columnist Eleanor Clift, the shrieking leftwing windbag of PBS's popular weekend show "The McLaughlin Group." Annoying is not a fitting enough word for this women as she regularly tries to shout down the likes of intelligence she shall never achieve. Her defense at all cost of the Obama Presidency has been unshakable, but now even she is seeing the man is not the heavy-weight politician she and many others wanted to believe he was, but still manages to muster excuses for incompetence.

This from her recent Newsweek column about failures in the recent mid-term election:

"Part of Obama’s problem is that there’s too much hero worship around him, and that translates into a reluctance to fault him for anything, except maybe that he didn’t make a good enough case for all the wonderful things he’s done. He has done good things, but the voters don’t give you credit for saving them from a depression; they reward you for making their lives better, and that hasn’t happened." 

Too much Hero worship? Ya think, Eleanor! You and your media comrades  who helped built up and hoist this narcissistic leader on a weary and vulnerable public, daily dote upon and make excuses for his lack of political savvy, well beyond anything you can call partisan. As for saving the country from a depression, I guess I could say I didn't run over a neighborhood dog because I left at 1:00pm. I can't prove that statement either. Better light another candle on the altar.

"In his post-election press conference, Obama said there must be easier ways to learn the hard lessons of politics than getting the shellacking he and the Democrats got. There are, and if his aides weren’t so in love with him and wrapped up in the idea of him as a transformational president, they might have seen this coming."

Gee Eleanor, you think the town hall meetings and the tea party rallies could have been a bit of a tip-off things weren't going well for the President? Maybe you guys in the media should have taken a breath from accusing everybody of being crazy extremist and racist to tell it like it really was.

"The White House needs to settle on a strategy and then execute it, whatever it is. Hope is not a strategy. The people around Obama caught the lightning in ’08, but they’ve been outmaneuvered by a party that two years ago was on the brink of extinction."

Good to see you may be coming around to your senses, Eleanor. The Hope and Change Thing was exactly what many thought it was, a cheap election slogan.  And your friends in the media can continue to claim Obama is the one of the smartest men to sit in the Presidency, but to be truthful, I haven't seen any indication they're right. None.


Read her entire column here.

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