Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Sainthood Put on Hold

Posted by Publius Minimus
Dec.8, 2010 
The Vatican Hesitates  on Shortcut  
 (Rome) A Vatican spokesman said today that reports of the proposed Sainthood for U.S. president, Barack Obama having been shelved for now are indeed true, but his Holiness the Pope  will review it again in about five or ten years. The Holy See has decided to review it at a much later date on order to see if Mr. Obama can pull off a few extra miracles, besides the one of himself getting elected. 

 Aides to Obama have begun intense investigation to find  if there were any previous deeds that Obama has done in the past that could coincide with the requirements of the Vatican.  
 Obama Clearly Seen Miraculously Floating Among  
 Competitors During a Recent Basketball Game 
Witness claims of previous miracles his staff have uncovered for consideration include Susan Bobelheid, an NBC reporter's claim of Obama miraculously turning a 73% voter approval rating in 2008 into 38% today.  And CNN reporter Biff Spittle says no one can deny a miracle when watching Obama dazzle audiences with his teleprompter reading skills.   

Mboto Chunka, a New York City cab driver also claims Obama actually hailed a cab and was picked up in all-white Bensonhurst, NY.  

 The Vatican has promised to research all claims of miraculous acts performed by Obama and will issue a white paper report in the year 2020, though some believe it could be as early as 2019. 

 FOX News commentator Bill O'Reily even offered his support by claiming, “If his party wins anything in the next election, that would be a real miracle.”

1 comment:

  1. This would make him the first Muslim Saint and the only patron saint of Kenya. This needs to be put on the fast track.