Best of Uncle Joe Biden 2011

Joe Biden has given us some of the most memorial moments in the Obama Administration over the last three years. We have all come see him like a National Treasure, something that should be locked away for safe keeping and let out on special occasions. Here is a sample of the collection of our reports on Uncle Joe from the last year for your 2011 rear review mirror.

* Biden Leads Vacation Intervention Group
* Meanwhile, back on the Campaign Trail......
* Biden Unleashed on America
* Picture of the Week.
* Anybody Seen Joe Biden?
* On the Road with Joe Biden
* Bo and Joe Set to Hit the Silver Screen
* Joseph R. Biden Railroad Station Christened
* Now Leaving Gate 37.....The Crazy Train.
* Joe Biden Performs at 2011 Grammy  Awards
* Joe Biden on the Unrest in the Mideast.
* Obamas have Chinese for Dinner

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A View of 2011 from the Cheap Seats

2012 is going to be a year dominated by politics. It will begin with the Iowa caucuses only a few days away and end either with a Republican president-elect preparing to enter the White House or President Obama gearing up for a second term (if the latter is the case, we can still hold out hope that the Mayan calendar doomsday scenario will come through). Thankfully, the holidays offer a brief respite from the endless campaigning (though let's be honest – we all suspect Mitt Romney is sidling up to somebody in a Macy’s and whispering “you know, that washing machine would be a lot more affordable under my tax plan.”). Before we lose ourselves in the maelstrom of election season, however, we should pause to consider what we've learned in 2011. A few of this years lessons:

*Donald Trump’s deep concern for America’s future is directly correlated to the broadcast schedule of “Celebrity Apprentice.”

*It turns out that Europe’s common currency is a Visa card.

*The Occupy Movement proved that shiftless people intent on living off the taxpayer and blighting American cities have career options beyond serving in Congress.

*We now have definitive proof that President Obama was born in the United States, having entered the world in a Hawaii hospital in 1961. It’s believed to be the last time the president received a warm welcome from the health care industry.

*In further proof that the world has gone upside down, Washington D.C., had an earthquake while California had a politician having a fling with the maid.

*The pundits who backed Barack Obama in 2008 because of his ability to inspire the rest of the world were validated by events in the Arab world. There, just as in the U.S., young people gathered in the streets, swept out the regime in power, and found out that this whole governing thing is a lot harder than it looks.

*The deaths of Osama Bin Laden, Muammar Gaddafi and Kim Jong-Il are going to make this year’s MVP race in hell the closest ever.

*President Obama touted Solyndra as a model of economic growth. While critics have mocked him for touting the virtues of a bankrupt company that laid off over 1,000 employees, you have to give the guy points for honesty – it certainly seems like the model of economic growth that he’s following.

*It’s now even money as to whether the most precarious position in American life is being a Republican presidential frontrunner or being Kim Kardashian’s husband.

*The only time the Obama Administration isn’t in favor of stronger gun control measures is when the firearms in question are being sold to Mexican drug cartels.

*Joe Biden thinks China’s one-child policy is understandable. After hearing Joe Biden speak, China thinks a no-child policy is understandable.

*The existence of the congressional supercommittee proved that the only thing worse than 535 members of Congress is 12 members of Congress.

*It’s more disqualifying to the American electorate for Rick Perry to say “oops” for three seconds than for Barack Obama to live “oops” for three years.

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If Todays Media had Been There.......

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Biden Leads Vacation Intervention Group

Pleads with President Obama not to Leave
Him in Charge of Washington

The aftermath of Biden's tenure last year  
as Overseer of the Nation's Seat of power....

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Holiday music from Hell: Billy Idol sings ‘White Christmas’

Doc Marten meets Dean Martin in Billy Idol’s plodding version of ‘White Christmas,” which has all the appeal of a Christmas stocking full of steaming reindeer crap. The musicians backing him sound like a German wedding band after an afternoon of knocking back steins of Hefeweizen at the local beer garden. It don’t mean a thing if ain't got that swing and these cats couldn't swing if they were hanging from a lamp post in a hurricane.

Test Raise e-reader Health Concerns

Middle Finger New Service - The battle for consumers of the popular 7 inch e-reader/tablet market heated up again today when book giant Barnes and Noble announced  the results of independent bench tests of their major competitor, the Amazon 'Kindle Fire'. A spokesperson for B&N told us the Kindle fire, a poorly designed knock-off of their own e-reader the 'Nook', has not only been panned by the tech media as being slow and buggy, but their own extensive user test results show the Kindle Fire also causes Butt Cancer.

Amazon, who introduced the Kindle Fire earlier the month called the rumor poppycock, but said they too had been conducting test on B&N's top of the line 'Nook' and were to announce tomorrow  they found with continuing use, the Nook indeed caused "impotence in men" and "mutations in children". A B&N spokesperson said "Bullshit!"

This follows stories in tech circles of late about many complaints by Apple iPad users of incidences of falling arches, incontinence and bad breath.

Professor of English Literature, Emo T. Rinker PHD of Dalesdale University told Middle Finger News "this whole electronic book trend is disturbing and the work of the devil's own hand. The worst that could happen with a traditional printed book is a paper cut or a flat ass from sitting to long."

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Congress Overturns Incandescent Light Bulb Ban

Congressional negotiators struck a deal Thursday that overturns the new rules that were to have banned sales of traditional incandescent light bulbs beginning next year.

That agreement is tucked inside the massive 1,200-page spending bill that funds the government through the rest of this fiscal year, and which both houses of Congress will vote on Friday. Mr. Obama is expected to sign the bill, which heads off a looming government shutdown.

Congressional Republicans dropped almost all of the policy restrictions they tried to attach to the bill, but won inclusion of the light bulb provision, which prevents the Obama administration from carrying through a 2007 law that would have set energy efficiency standards that effectively made the traditional light bulb obsolete. Read More

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Christopher Hitchens, 1949–2011

While many of our political stripe disagreed with him, he did make us think. May the God he did not believe in have mercy on his soul. 

In Memoriam

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Looks Like Mitt Romney has No Freinds at Fox News!

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