Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Bernie Sanders Says You Too Should Have the Right To Be Stoned........

Bernie Says You Should Be Able To Smoke Um If Ya Got Um

Introduces Senate Bill To Lift The Federal Ban On Marijuana

Bernie Sanders today introduced the 'Ending Federal Marijuana Prohibition Act', a bill to lift the federal ban on marijuana. The bill is companion legislation to H.R. 1013, the Regulate Marijuana Like Alcohol Act, a bill introduced in February.  But due to those ol' intolerant Republicans being stuck in the “just say no” mentality of the 1980s, this bill will not make it out of Congress. However, continually wasting time introducing these bills is still a vital step in achieving real change in the eyes of the lefties.

"American society has made great strides on numerous issues during the presidency of Barack Obama, but two great and intertwined challenges remain. The nation is making real bipartisan progress of criminal justice reform, but along with reforming the criminal justice system it is important to look at the decriminalization of marijuana. Progress takes persistence, nd the introduction of this bill is another milestone on the path to change."
Yeah, emptying out the jails of low level drug dealers who will run right out and get themselves a good job will be real cultural progress. And I know, I'll feel much safer driving down the street on weekends knowing every 10th car coming my direction is full of teenagers stoned out of their heads. Yes, the Obama Presidency has made great strides for America, and putting criminals back on the street and making pot legal will be the cherry on the top. You go Bernie!

Attention "Party of Science"

H/T Van der Leun

Trump Refuses to Take Sides in Big Contest

(Editor's Note: I defy the reader to not hear Trump's voice while reading his remarks below)

MFNS - Des Moines IA. - During a press conference today, our Middle Finger News Service reporter had a chance to ask the Republican front runner a question which he artfully dodged as only a politician can.

MFNS Reporter: Mr. Trump, to step away from the politics of the day for a moment, I'd like to ask about your thoughts on the big Alabama - LSU football game this weekend?

Trump: Now you see Ladies and Gentlemen of the press.......there is more in this world besides politics. You people should take a lesson from this guy...... here is a real Journalist.......Bless you my son........where have you been?  Yes, I'd be glad to talk about other things beside politics. You ask out the Alabama - LSU Game?..... are you kiddin' me? It's gonna be yuge......yuge I Tell ya! You kiddin' seen the size of those guys?........  And those coaches?.......Great Guys. Tremendous guys! That Nick Saban.....cocky little guy.....I like that. He likes to win.....I like that......he yells at his people a lot......I like that......he's tremendous! Just Tremendous!  His team wears red......aaah... I can take it or leave it.....I'm partial to green myself.   And that Les Miles...... what a guy........wears that white hat all the time.....I like that.......I bet he even wears it to bed too.........and he's a sneaky little bastard that never gets rattled......I like that! Tremendous Guy....Just Tremendous! And I'm gonna tell ya......have you seen those LSU cheerleaders? Where do they get those teriffic girls I'm askin' ya? They're amazing!.....I gotta get Les Miles to let me build him a yuge new know his place is almost a 100 years old.....I... 

MFNS: Excuse me Mr Trump, what about the game?

Trump: The Game? It's gonna be friggin' yuge! You kiddin' me....two of the best facin' off face to gonna be a's gonna be terrific! And if it was me I'd be runnin' end sweeps.... double reverses......jump passes.....ya know.....give um a real show.....

MFNS: What about the score Mr Trump? Who do you think will win?

Trump: A tremendous game like this?.......ya know I gotta be truthful......I have a lot of amazing supporters in the great states of Louisiana and Alabama....terrific wouldn't want me to alienate any of my voters.....that's not good politics.  I'll tell ya what ya my staff after the game and I'll tell ya who I think the winner will be. Look....Ya know this is always a yuge game.....yuge.....a teriffic battle......and I'll tell ya this......I'd probable take either team against anybody in the nation right now kiddin' me......these are two really amazing teams..... tremendous teams! Just Tremendous!......and unlike most of these jerk-offs in the media here, I know I'll be watchin'..... Did I mention those stunning LSU cheerleaders.....I...

MFNS: Uh, Thank You for your answer, Mr. Trump......

Mr. Trump and Tiger Cheerleaders

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

First Lady Pounds Sand

First Lady Michelle Obama arrives in Doha, Qatar at al-Udeid air base joined by comedian Conan O’Brien for her ongoing International Clown Suit Tour Let Girls Learn initiative at the 2015 World Innovation Summit for Education.

And Now Donald Trump Is Picking on the Mentally Challenged....

Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (D-Fla) DNC Chairman Chair-Human
“You have this crazy, you know Wasserman Schultz, Deborah Wasserman Schultz, who’s in there, highly neurotic woman. This is a woman that is a terrible person. I watch her on television. She’s a terrible person.”
Donald Trump was going after DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz for the media slow pitch softball love-fest that was set up for Hillary Clinton that she passed off as a debate. Now the one thing I have against Trump is the way he goes after  people with mean wreck-less abandon. Damn it Donald Trump, that's a job for us mean wreck-less bloggers! 

But in the case of  Debbie Wasserman-Schitts  I have to give the big guy a pass. Even a clock is right twice a day......

Monday, November 2, 2015

Life Must Suck For The Jebster These Days

 But The Jebster Is Poised For Triumphant Comeback
....Really..... Any Moment Now. 

Life sure sucks recently if your Jeb Bush. But it also sucks if you work on Jeb’s flailing presidential campaign, a term we are using very loosely at this point. If you’re part of the Iowa ground game, you are spending 37 hours a day driving all over the state to cover your “region” because Team Jeb is bad at maps. If you are Jeb’s graphic designer, you gotta explain how the fuck Jeb’s hand turned black while doing a Bush-league job photoshopping him onto a brilliantly fake blue Iowa river. And if you are Bush campaign communications director Tim Miller, you have to say stuff like this:

Bush is gonna make a comeback — you’ll see! — with his rebooted campaign. And then his numbers won’t be stuck in the literal toilet like a common just-barely-top-tier candidate. Jeb’s born-again campaign is like the old one, except more pathetic because now we know for a fact he isn’t the smart one.

But Jeb Can Fix It Good, it’s not too late, he can do president too, Daddy, he can, HE CAN! He has a fresh new slogan, his boy-vag is all rejuvenated and vajazzled, and — as he demonstrated during a weekend chit-chat with Mark Halperin — he’s a leaner, meaner tougher tough-talking take-no-shit GRRRRRRR JEB BUSH!:

Good god, man. Have you not watched Donald Trump strut around the country, guaranteeing he’s gonna make America Great Again, gonna hit her right in the G-spot, ooooh yeah, baby? Can you even fake a tattered shred of confidence?
HALPERIN: Just talk about your resilience, because some people think you don’t know how to fight.
BUSH: They don’t know me. They don’t know me. I eat nails when I wake up, then I have breakfast.
OK, then, obviously not.

Jees Jeb. Pull yourself together. You’re pathetic. You’re tragic. We can barely bring ourselves  to mock you because that’s how freakin' sad you are. Obviously, we will continue to do so anyway, but we will feel a little bad about it until you make it stop. Which you should do pretty much now, for your own good.

Cause when ya behind Bobby Jindal in the polls, it's time to throw in the towel big fella!


A Good Monday Morning

Sunday, November 1, 2015

A Reminder to Europe and America

by Brett Stevens
Diversity doesn’t work. Ignoring all of the buzz about it, we can see that it is an impossibility from the basic logic of it. It requires assimilation of all parties; if that succeeds, it replaces the native population. If it does not, it Balkanizes all parties. If they choose coexistence, they have doomed their society to being unable to have values in common, thus to split apart from internal divisions just as Rome did.
Diversity is one of those neat ideas on paper that has zero historical evidence for its function, let alone success. Instead, we see it appearing time and again as one of the symptoms of a dying regime. Unable to keep its people motivated, it outsources and then imports the outsourced, quickly obliterating its culture and eventually veering toward third-world status. Why are today’s Italians so dark and Arab-looking, when we know from Roman records that they looked more like Germans and had many blondes among them? The end result of diversity: replacement of the local population. (i.e barbarian invasions)
As Europe struggles with an unending sea of refugees showing up for the socialist free benefits and welfare, and the USA has a stream of Mexican indios — the same people the Aztec and Maya enslaved as menial labor — surging across the border, we should remember that instead of repeating what the talking heads tell us, we should simply think. How could diversity ever work? 
For the life of us, no one can think of a way, yet we keep repeating the mantra that it is our greatest strength in the hope of patching up the leaky sinking ship for just another election cycle.

Former Sen. Fred Thompson dead at 73

I always liked this guy. He was a down to earth, tell it like it was Southern Politician.

"Fred believed that the greatness of our nation was defined by the hard work, faith, and honesty of its people. He had an enduring belief in the exceptionalism of our country, and that America could provide the opportunity for any boy or girl, in any corner of our country, to succeed in life. "