A Good Monday Morning

Bernie Sanders Given Honor of Own Native American Name

A Middle Finger News Great Moments in History

Senator Bernie Sanders was invited to address a gathering of the Indian First Nations chiefs in Denver, CO. He spoke for almost an hour about his plans for increasing the standard of living for all of their citizens by totally free government grants for free college educations, free Medicare for all,etc.

He mentioned how he always supported these issues that came forward to him. Although Sanders was vague about the details for the funding of his plans, he spoke eloquently about his ideas if he wins the White House in 2020. At the conclusion of his speech, the chiefs presented him with a beautiful plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, "Walking Eagle."

The proud Sanders accepted the plaque and then returned to Washington. A news reporter asked the chiefs how they came to select the new name they had given to Sanders. They explained that "Walking Eagle" is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.

Via Overnight Thread@ACEHQ

~Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS for the Linkage! ~

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Beto’s Debate Journal

A Bit of Debate Satire from WFB

It's not uncommon for presidential candidates to scribble down some notes or talking points on sheets of paper during a debate. It is, however, highly unusual for candidates to leave behind a sprawling journal entry of the kind found on Beto O'Rourke's lectern following Wednesday night's showdown in Miami. What follows is a (lightly edited) transcript of the document, as obtained by the Washington Free Beacon:

-  "Here I am in the place where I come to get low. Miami, the bass and the sunset low." — Will Smith 

 -  Tonight, I am a dancing bear, to be jeered at by a fickle press corps who surrendered their hearts to me in Texas, only to decide I wasn't good enough to bring home to mom and dad, that I wasn't "‘long-term" material, that they always saw our relationship as "more of a side chick situation." I'm starting to think they only shacked up with me to get back at Ted. Just look at them, sitting there all smug, talking trash behind my back to all their friends. Assholes. 

-  Miami is the opposite of "punk," but at least everyone speaks Spanish here. On a related note, I owe Jeb Bush a debt of gratitude for reminding me to stop listing my ethnicity as "Hispanic." I'm not sure I could fake another apology for abusing my privilege. They would have roasted me for doing that, and yet somehow Pocahontas over here gets a pass. Maybe she's what the media had in mind when they told me they wanted to "try girls for a change."

-  If they call on Cory Booker before me and he starts speaking Spanish I am going to quit the race right here, right now. His accent is terrible. I wish I was black, though, or at least gay. America is a tapestry.  It's exhausting, spouting all this vague nonsense about "fair" taxation and "universal healthcare access". What am I even doing here? I miss the road. I miss the heartland. I miss the solitude of sunsets. Hell, I miss the blog, that feeling of discovery and the archeology of excavating words from dirt — the great American soil on which dreams are built. If it comes to that, I'll say I'm quitting because I miss my wife and kids. 

-  Relax, Beto. This is your chance to shine. Tienes el poder de las palabras. None of the other candidates would dare attack you. Not with Lyin' Liz Warren standing front and center. Not with Joe Biden leading the pack. You're the underdog, you're going to prove everyone wrong, even the media. - READ MORE

In Celebration of the Opening of the 2020 Election Campaign Season.....

....and the Democrats affirming to the entire country what their true colors really are in last night's debate, I give you this apropos tune for your listening enjoyment :

The Late Greats Jack Bruce & Rory Gallagher's impromptu live jam of "Politician"

Squinty Scarborough Scorches Dems Debate as “Disaster" to a Stunned Panel

From the look on Mika's face through most of this video, it makes one wonder if there will be any Meat Puppet humping at the Scarborough residence anytime soon...... 

~ Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS & MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage! ~

Lizzy Warren Sets ‘Jeopardy!’ Loss Record After Buzzing in With “What Is a New Government Program?” Every Time.

By Harvey@IMAO

CULVER CITY, CA (AP) – Hot on the heels of ‘Jeopardy!’ champion James Holzhauer’s 33-game, $2.5 million winning streak, Democrat Presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren appeared on the show to set a record of her own. In Warren’s case, though, it was pretty much the exact opposite of Holzhauer’s run, as Warren defied all odds by actually obtaining the lowest theoretical possible score of -$58,000 by offering “what is a new government program?” as her response every time she buzzed in first, which she did every time host Alex Trebek read an answer.  

During a post-game interview, Warren seemed baffled by the turn of events. “I don’t understand,” said Warren. “I phrased it in the form of a question every time, didn’t I?

READ MORE 

Beto is Toast

AOC Sobs at the Downfall of Her Socialist Ally

RS - I know it’s dangerous to make political prognostications this far out. The primary voting doesn’t start until Feb. of 2020 after all. But, I’m going to go ahead and say it. Beto O’Rourke’s candidacy is over.

With some people in the race, that wouldn’t exactly be going out on a limb, but Beto didn’t enter this race as a 3rd tier candidate. He had all the media attention and name recognition. He was so hip and cool. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. After initially competing well in the weeks following his announcement, the past few months have not been kind to Beto.

Last night was his chance to regain his footing and assert himself as a factor in the race. Didn’t Happen. At one point, Beto started speaking in Spanish for reasons only known to him and it led to the most meme-worthy thing of the night - Sparticus Booker Cory giving Beto the side eye when he starts answering questions in Spanish.

But it wasn’t just the look on Booker’s face. On substance he stumbled and flailed about, desperate to pander to the left while not appearing totally insane. It didn’t play well. Beto is asked about a 70 percent tax rate and somehow ends up talking about voter registration. Even rabidly liberal MSNBC, who spent the better part of 6 months fluffing Beto as the second coming when he ran against Ted Cruz in 2018, has jumped off the bandwagon.

Beto's take on the night:

Beto O'Rourke on #DemDebate performance: "I'd give myself an A." http://hill.cm/wsOYVjy

He seemed out of sorts the entire night and it became abundantly clear, even to the left-wingers on MSNBC’s panel, that this guy is an empty suit. It’s all fun and games when you are running against a Republican. Not so much when you threaten the socialist dream by not being quite as crazy as Elizabeth Warren. Beto is learning the hard way that love in politics is fleeting. He’s done.

~ Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS for the Linkage! ~