Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Nancy Pelosi Enters Clinic After Visiting Southern Border

Hollywood - House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi was spotted leaving a super secret location of one of Hollywood's most famous clinics, known only to the select 1%,  just before daylight Monday. A specialized procedure was done on Mrs. Pelosi under the cover of darkness by the 'Surgeon to the Stars, Dr. H. Bruno Smutts.

We have learned Mrs. Pelosi decided to have facial surgery after severely frightening numerous young illegal immigrant refugee children while visiting the southern border area last week.

A clinic source told MFNS the long and very dangerous radical facial reconstruction surgery was done at the Beverly Hills clinic after hours late last night for secrecy and security reasons.
"Mrs. Pelosi’s face is currently a combination of spackling compound, putty, pig fat and gorilla glue. The procedure involved heating her face with a blow torch to soften, then stretched and reformed into the desired shape, then sealed with industrial strength epoxy. She’s really a freakish looking lady close up.......say, you guy aren't gonna repeat any us this......right??"  
Pelosi is  preparing for election to her 14th term in congress.


  1. Aaiiiiiiiiiiggghhhhh! Well, what happened to the children?? Are they ever going to be 'whole' again? I wonder if I'll be whole again after seeing that. "...pig fat and gorilla glue." Bwah hah hahhh!

  2. Will Gorilla Glue stick to pig fat? Give us a warning when she's about ready to hatch out of that.