Monday, July 6, 2015

How to Know You're Attending a Liberal 4th of July Celebration and Fireworks Display

1.  At the entrance to the venue, several personal injury attorneys have set up information booths
2.  Instead of actual fireworks, the emcee tells the audience to close their eyes and rub them with their palms
3.  It’s just that guy from the Police Academy movies making fireworks noises with his mouth
4.  Instead of rousing patriotic music, all they play is Adele and Enya
5.  The guy in charge of the fireworks has five fingers, total
6.   The entire show is a pair of twins running around holding sparklers
7.   You notice the men lighting the fireworks display are wearing ISIS T-shirts
8.   At the end, the fireworks form a colorful image of Barack and Michelle Obama