No More Real Time Biden

Naked DC

I think We're Talking Damage Control Here

The press is being told that they are no longer allowed to Tweet Joe Biden’s commentary in real time. Remarks can be reprinted in their entirety later (even 20 minutes later), but on-the-scene reporting will be discouraged, according to White House sources.

The implication here is that Joe Biden does not deliver pre-written speeches as they are pre-written, as pre-written speeches could easily be sent to reporters ahead of time. Obviously, this means that you will no longer be able to experience real-time Joe Biden, which is a shame, particularly if you’re interested in such intriguing topics as Joe Biden’s parents’ sex lives, the unique characteristics of certain ethnic backgrounds, and complete reports on what Joe Biden had for lunch.

__________________________________________

Diogenes' Man on the Street

Middle Finger News Asks:

Will Hillary Replace Joe Biden for the 2012 Election?

 

"Absolutely. I do think Obama should replace Biden with Clinton. It can only help his re-election. And if Joe Biden is looking for work, I have use for a guy who can disparage half the population in a single sentence".

Brad Nittwith - Internal Revenue Service

 "No, I don't think Biden should be replaced! Preezy Obama and Joe Biden have done a great job with the economy. Hell, back in 2007 even a King didn't have the luxury of a Vodka and Red Bull mix."
Belinda Twittel - Wal-mart Cashier

"Yes! It's about time we have a woman of Hillary's caliber in high power in this country. After all, she's single handedly brought peace to the Middle East! Suck on that Condie Rice!" 
Shelia Lovett Bigg - Public School Educator

"Means nothing to Faruk! All America is but imperialist infidel running dog jackals that will ultimately feel the sting of Allah's wrath .....Praise Be to Allah!"
Faruk Al Squworme - Taxi Driver

"You axing  Laquita? I don't know how to vote.... but if I did I'd sure nuff vote for Barack cause all the free sh*t  he gets me and my babies wiff my EBT card!.... know what I'm sayin....free cell phones and rolling papers for Dontrell.  Barack gets my 16 year old free sh*t for her two babies too!"
 Laquita Jones - Homemaker

"Get off my sidewalk you #%*+&@+ hate filled ringwing nut!"
Holota Wadsworth - Women's Reproductive Health Center Director

"Yeah. Hillary is a great Idea. Biden is the ultimate Washington insider. Obama should have picked somebody who knows absolutely nothing about politics. It might be good for Obama seeing that the people voting in the next election are going to be angry, intolerant white people. You would have to be a fool to miss a chance to vote for a beautiful smart lady like Hillary?"
Pat - Famous  Daily Kos Basement Blogger  

"Hillary for Biden? I think it's a great idea! And I really like the idea of a do-over election thing because I totally blew my first vote on Stephen Colbert last time.  I've purposely avoided upward mobility and social progress so I can benefit from all the free money I get from my trust fund."
Lance Farnsworth III - Occupy Wall Street Organizer

"Get out of my way you little worm..... 
 I said get out of my face!"
Some Angry White Guy

_____________________________________________

Joe Biden's Secret Mission

The White House
1:00 am June 26, 2012

"Hello, is that you Joe?"

"Nooooooo.......It's.... Silver Plugs......"

"It's okay Joe..... we're on secure communications......"

"Great news boss......

I've got em eating out of my hand up here. 

I think we've got their vote all rapped up...."

"Outstanding.........where are you Joe?"

"I'm in Nova Scotia......

I'm telling ya, these guys up here love ya boss!  

They - just - love ya! ....How's things there?"

 "It's OK, just a little problem with the Attorney General
.... and still waiting on the Supremes decision."

"The Supremes? They're back together!

Damn.... I love Diana Ross........

 Man I wish I could be there and get tickets......"

Joe! Joe! ...Maybe next time big guy.......

Now listen, listen to me carefully Joe.

We're moving the nominating convention from

Charlotte to Buckhole Montana........

I want you to be there on the 3rd of September

and wait for us ......we may be a little late.
Just stay there and wait for us. Okay?

Till then stay in the field up there and get us those votes.....hear?

The secret service guys have your travel itinerary......." 

"10-4. I'm headed to Saskatoon tomorrow........

we ain't conceding their vote to those

rat bastards this time like we did in '08.

I'm gonna make sure of that!" 

"Go get em, Joe.......I'll be in touch......

Don't call us, we'll call you." 

"Right-O......Silver Plugs over and out!"

___________________________________________________

On the Road with Joe Biden

Vice President Joe Biden was on the road Friday to tout one of the successes of the Obama administration's  economic recovery and job creation policies. He visited the scene of two newly created lawn maintenance jobs at one of Virginia's area most historic places.   

While speaking at Thomas Jefferson's historic home, Monticello,  Biden paid tribute to the founding father and nation's third President, telling an audience of supporters, “We must never forget the wisdom of Jefferson, and his wife, Wheezy.”

Biden said that “at a time of our history when the American people needed leadership, it was Jefferson who said the immortal words, ‘We’re movin’ on up.’  Proudly speaking of America's greatness he said “Let us have the ingenuity of Benjamin Franklin, who invented the electric chair, let us have the honesty of George Washington who told his father that he chopped down a cherry tree because it was blocking his view of the Potomac , and let us also have Washington's perseverance which he demonstrated during that harsh winter at Valley's Gorge.”
  
And of American hero, Paul Revere he said, “In his famous cry, ‘One if by land, two if by row boat,’ Paul Revere proved that you don’t have to know how to count higher than two to be a great American.”

At the end of his speech in Monticello, the Vice President said that he was excited to be on his way to speak at Arsenio Hall in Philadelphia, “the home of the Taco Bell.”

 Biden leads supporters in a chorus of 'Movin' on Up'

_____________________________________________ 

Third Annual Biden Clown Bash for the Press

NBC biggie Tom Brokaw’s criticism of press schmoozing with the president and his team hasn’t put the kabosh on one of the most exclusive annual newsie-administration love-ins: Vice President Joe and Jill Biden’s Beach Boardwalk Bash.

Reporters who’ve received the invitation to the third annual shindig say it occurs Saturday June 9 from 1-3:30 p.m at their Naval Observatory home. The event in the past has been focused on kids and complete with clowns, plates of chicken nuggets, pizza, waterslides and super soaker guns.

Read More...

______________________________________

Anybody Seen Joe Biden Lately?

________________________________________________

Joe Is At It Again....

Weekly Standard

"Yesterday, a reporter from the Irish Times responsible for the foreign press pool report of a breakfast with Joe Biden and Irish prime minister Enda Kenny noted that the "[vice president of the United States] seems to have an inexhaustible supply of Irish sayings." But it wasn't just Irish sayings--Biden also threw in a dirty joke at the official White House reception."

"You know there’s and old Irish saying," Biden said. "There’s all kinds of old Irish sayings. (Laughter.) At least my Grandfather Finnegan, I think he made them up, but it says, may the hinges of our friendship never go rusty. Well, with these two folks that you’re about to meet, if you haven’t already, there’s no doubt about them staying oiled and lubricated here. Ladies and gentlemen -- (laughter) -- now, for you who are not full Irish in this room, lubricating has a different meaning for us all."

[snip]

 Seems Biden can’t show up at any event without acting like the manager of a used car lot. 

Being more apt to be found in the hall of elks, on the 7th days eve, in a green suit of leisure with white shoes pulling a draft, slapping backs and yacking it up; the second in charge of the great nation yet pulls at our legs, and leaves us all to beg for more spirits to quell our hysteria. Winnebago Man cometh.

______________________________

Joe Knows Cake......

 Navy Specialist ready Vice President Joe Biden for a portion of cake and ice cream at First Lady Michelle Obama's White House Birthday celebration Tuesday Night. Biden wowed the guest by besting his record of eating 7 wax candles from the cake, two more than last year.

__________________________________________________

Biden Leads Vacation Intervention Group

Pleads with President Obama not to Leave
Him in Charge of Washington

The aftermath of Biden's tenure last year  
as Overseer of the Nation's Seat of power....

___________________________________

Meanwhile, back on the Campaign Trail......

Biden Unleashed on America

The Hill - Addressing the 200 people gathered at the fundraiser, Joe Biden appeared to be in his classic, convivial form, saying, "The president said, 'Look, Joe, just go be Joe.' So he let me loose." Vice President Biden has been unleashed on the campaign trail, he said Tuesday night, telling a crowd at a Chicago fundraiser "we are going to win this race.”

 "His back is against the wall. All it can do is help him," Biden continued. 

We'll be watching. Go get em, Joe!

____________________________________  

Picture of the Week.

Joe Biden. The Gift That Keeps on Giving. 

 

_____________________________________________

Anybody Seen Joe Biden?

______________________________________________________

Bo and Joe Set to Hit the Silver Screen

Has Obama Gone 'Full Biden' on Us?

After Barack Obama was elected, he went abroad and wowed European crowds with his teleprompter skills and youthful energy. Everyone, including the foreign media got caught up in Obamamania. Some in the press even compared the new President to a rock star.  

What a difference two years make. Looking at the record, the rock star of 2008 is looking more like a Vegas lounge act in 2011.   

Like his bumbling through the last two years, much just ignored by an adoring press, Obama's recent European trip have people scratching their heads over the President's continuing bizarre lack of protocol, or as I like to say, "Going Full Biden". While some conservative commentators  take a semi-serious approach to the issue and its impact on American foreign policy, I tend to think of it more in terms of a Rock & Roll fall from grace by the President.

When Obama was elected, people believed he would restore America to prominence in the world by taking a different approach to foreign policy than his predecessor, G. W. Bush. Gone were the days of "cowboy diplomacy" and in came the era of intellectual diplomacy. The world was going to love us again, throw flowers instead of insults and bombs. 

Then, Obama became President and we got to see his foreign policy shaping out to be...well, a freakin' disaster.  Our fearless leader has successfully alienated two of our staunchest allies, Great Britain and Israel, and our relationship with Germany is lukewarm at best.  He tried to buddy up with France (at Britain's expense), and has taken sides in Egypt and Libya that are loaded with dangerous ties to groups that don't exactly dig our way of life.

One of the biggest problems with American foreign policy over the past few decades has been we almost seem ashamed to admit we're American. We're expected to sit there and take everything any tin-horned dictator from a Third World country flings as us, truthful or otherwise, and suffer Jimmy Carter running around the universe acting a fool. Then, we're expected to pick up the damn check whenever that same Third World country needs help from the World Bank or the International Monetary Fund. And with Obama at the helm, that shame in America will only increase.

And that shame has translated into embarrassment for world leaders who have to deal with Obama's protocol breaches. Some might not agree, but I think this is serverly hurting Obama's image around the world because he doesn't seem to learn from his Bidenesque mistakes. All he does is make bigger, more public mistakes, leaving ally and enemy alike to mock Obama. I guess not much  diplomacy and protocol is needed on a golf course.

Perhaps we should call it the "Biden Effect".

________________________________________________ 
  

Joseph R. Biden Railroad Station Christened

With only a minor delay, like the Amtrak C.E.O having to be brought to the event in a car  after his train was delayed, the historic refurbished Wilmington Train Station was put into service officially as "The Joseph R. Biden Jr. Railroad Station" today.

The refurbished Station received $20 million in federal stimulus funds and managed to come in somewhere in the neighborhood of $5.7 million over budget.

Tax Payers and fans gave a big send-off to the  
Vice President and the first train as it leaves out of  
the newly christened Biden Station.

______________________________________________________

Now Leaving Gate 37...........The Crazy Train.

From Capitalist Preservation  

Joe Biden and Amtrak. 

America's two favorite long time  
Federal subsidies. 

" Joe Biden lost out on having a school named after him in his home state of Delaware. This is sad. How does a sitting Vice President of the United States, and I do mean sitting, get SOMETHING, ANYTHING named in their honor? Hmmmm..." Will Profit

__________________________________

    

Joe Biden Performs at 2011 Grammy Awards

 V.P. shows he still has the moves 

as guest dancer for Eminem

Los Angeles - Conspicuously absent from all the administrations statements on the resent events of the middle east, Joe Biden surfaced last night at the 2011 Grammy Awards to perform in the dance troop of legendary rapper Eminem. The Vice President had not been seen in public all last week because of intense workouts and dance rehearsals in a secret location in Los Angeles.

The Vice President told the music press last night that Eminem was not his only chance to dance at the Grammys this year. His first offer came from the rising star "Lady GaGa", but never considered the offer seriously because he said, "that little girl really really creeps me out".

Known by former congressional colleagues by the nickname "The Shoe", Biden once admitted he always secretly wished as a kid that he was Ginger Rogers. Biden was also seen at an after show party kicking back  scotch and sodas with big bucks democrat supporter and fellow  Grammy show performer, Barbara Streisand and her husband...what's his name. Biden was over heard telling his secret service guy "the ol' gal can still sing, but geez, have you ever seen that much makeup in one spot in your life?"   

When asked by a reporter if he was ever invited to rap with Eminem, Biden said no, and he  probably wouldn't be any good it because his mouth tends to outrun it's supply line.  Biden is expected back in Washington early today to conduct two 3rd grade field trips coming to visit the White House. 

 _________________________________________

Joe Biden on the Unrest in the Mideast. And as Usual, Joe is Right on Top of it.

_________________________________

Obamas have Chinese for Dinner

President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama host

a State Dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao.

  
(Washington DC) - After a day of an embarrassing press conference and being rolled like the light weight amateur the world has come to know, Barry and Michelle got swanked up and did the one thing besides vacationing they are really good at, throwing a great dinner party for dignitaries.  

Hollywood luminaries, former secretaries of state, corporate titans, human rights activists, ex-presidents with dictator fetishes and those who gave large cash donations to Obamas presidential campaign were invited to attend. They included actress Barbra Streisand and her husband....whats his name, designer Vera Wang, Vogue editor Anna Wintour, cellist Yo-Yo Ma and his sister Yo-Yo Mama, skater Michelle Kwan, artist Maya Lin and action film star Jackie Chan among others. 

As tradition dictates, President Obama and Hu exchanged toasts.
Obama saluted the people of both countries. "May they grow together in friendship. May they prosper together in peace."

 Hu raised his glass to a "stronger friendship between the people of China and the United States, because we basically own you now." 

Vice President Biden gave a toast on behalf of the American people to the Chinese president in which he declared " as we move forward together in history as friends, we hold no hard feelings toward China, no need to apologize for that Pearl Harbor thing." 
  
Shortly after the dinner was over many of the attendees were heard commenting that they were hungry again. 

________________________